We write in hopes of discovering that the nightmares that taunt us are shared ones.
Good news:
- I've now officially lost 1stone, 7&1/2 half lbs. YAY! I'm so happy. My weight has plagued me for my whole life, it's literally been controlling me. Preventing what I can and cannot do, wear, say. People don't understand how much it effects your everday life.
- I had a 6 week break from school and I went back yesterday. Within two steps of my arrival I heard a chorus of shrieks and EMMMA!!! to which I obviously turned to. Three of my friends came running up to me squeeing over how good I looked with my new hair and smaller body. It was sooo unexpected and amazing. I mean, talk about confidence boost. This went on all day, literally. I had my Theatre Studies teacher tell me I looked amazing, along with another teacher, Mr.Lewis who said I looked great. There were another handful of occourances, and I can literally say I've never felt more attractive in my whole life. I mean, HELL, I'm still fat, but I am working it. Or at least impressing those around me, haha! I'm just really happy with myself at the moment. It's like I can feel my future shifting into what it could now be as opposed to what I'd always resigned myself to, growing up fat and lovedless.
- BONES PREMIERE. I'M DOWNLOADING RIGHT NOW. CANNOT FUCKING WAIT.
- Turns out of my dad lost like, 4 stone when he was my age. He was overweight and got to my age before he lost all the weight by going to Weight Watchers every week. I go to Slimming World. I don't know why this is affecting me so much. Maybe because it gives us yet again another connection, another similarity that we should be bonding over? It almost makes me resent him more, which is silly because it's not like it's even his fault. Most things are, but not this. Lol.
- Another father related annoyance. The woman he's living with and whom he left us for, Nina, has declared that her only crime was to fall in love. Oh, please. My Dad told my Mum she said that, who told me. Oh yeah, they still talk every day. And meet up. He keeps telling her he'll come back soon, then finding reasons not to. For instance last weekend her daughter came round for the weekend so he couldn't leave. I didn't even fucking know she had a daughter. It's not nice to know. It makes her more real, like she has a life and feelings and wants to be happy. And the last thing I want to do is fucking sympathise with that bitch. She knowingly started an affair with a married man with two kids. He worked with her, she knew his home situation. She deserves every inch of pain this situation is pouring on her.
- My Dad took her to see his father last weekend. My Grandad said he sat there not saying word, because he didn't want anything to do with her. I don't know why I'm surprised. He's living with her, having had her daughter round, having left family for her. It's obviously beyond serious. It just sucks, you know?