(no subject)
I feel like people tolerate me. Like their lives would continue in the same pattern whether I was here or not. I'm not of great importance, kind of thing.
Yesterday I walked back into school after the Christmas break and half a week off, and it's like no one even blinked. I wasn't expecting a welcoming parade, but fuck, a hello would of been nice. There was a room half full of people, and about two made an effort.
I just... I feel like the odd piece of the puzzle. And I don't mean that I don't it in with them, I do, and when it's great it's fucking brilliant. But sometimes I feel like I'm the bit on the end. The odds and sods that you can give or take depending. I don't know when I turned into that person for them, I used to be much more central to the group. Close with a lot of people, but now it's like most of them have drifted away from me and closer to each other. I had a friend, Lucy, who I was really close with. A couple of weeks ago I phoned her up crying after some family thing, and she said she wanted to go to speak to her boyfriend, and then hung up before I could say bye. If that had been six months ago she'd have been on the phone to me for hours.
I'm having a bad few days, ignore me.
Yesterday I walked back into school after the Christmas break and half a week off, and it's like no one even blinked. I wasn't expecting a welcoming parade, but fuck, a hello would of been nice. There was a room half full of people, and about two made an effort.
I just... I feel like the odd piece of the puzzle. And I don't mean that I don't it in with them, I do, and when it's great it's fucking brilliant. But sometimes I feel like I'm the bit on the end. The odds and sods that you can give or take depending. I don't know when I turned into that person for them, I used to be much more central to the group. Close with a lot of people, but now it's like most of them have drifted away from me and closer to each other. I had a friend, Lucy, who I was really close with. A couple of weeks ago I phoned her up crying after some family thing, and she said she wanted to go to speak to her boyfriend, and then hung up before I could say bye. If that had been six months ago she'd have been on the phone to me for hours.
I'm having a bad few days, ignore me.