A Summer Weekend in Ann Arbor (Part 1?)
Rating: PG
Timeline: Post-season six, pre-season seven.
Summary: Leslie and Ben go visit Ann and Chris and Michigan.
“Oh! Ohhhh!” Ann exclaims excitedly, taking in Leslie’s appearance at her front door. The navy blue cotton dress looks cool and comfortable, and although the patterned vertical stripe running down the front is cute, it does nothing to camouflage her massively growing belly-even though the sale’s lady at Pawnee’s new maternity boutique, Frocked Up, promised Leslie that it would.
“I can’t believe you’re so big! My god, you look like you’re at least six months pregnant!”
“I do,” Leslie agrees, smiling-practically beaming.
“You’re only four and a half!” Ann responds, eyes still wide.
“I know!” And with those declarations over, Leslie runs inside Chris and Ann’s house and envelopes her best friend in an enthusiastic hug. “I’m so huge!”
Ben follows behind and ends up in his own bear hug with Chris, finally opting to just quietly drop their bags on the floor when it becomes apparent that Chris isn’t going to let go anytime soon.
“Did you have a nice drive?” Ann asks, pulling back and placing her palm on Leslie’s stomach.
“We did…we only had to stop three times because I had to pee.”
“Three times in four hours is nothing. In a couple of months, you’ll look back on that fondly,” Ann promises with a nod, taking Leslie’s hand and pulling her into the living room. Chris releases Ben and they follow, while Oliver is already waiting for everyone in his playpen just a few feet away.
Once they get settled, Ann warns, “Oh, don’t let Jerry drink milk in front of you while you’re pregnant.” Chris nods in agreement.
“Larry?” Leslie asks.
“Oh, right. Yeah, whatever he’s calling himself these day,” Ann says. “It was just…” she trails off, shuddering. “Even I couldn’t look at my breasts for days afterwards. And poor Chris…”
“That was, literally, the most disturbing thing I have ever seen,” Chris agrees.
“His name is Garry,” Ben mentions, “And he’s actually very-” Leslie, Ann, and Chris stare at him for a second and start laughing, cutting him off in his defense of Garry Gergich.
Ben holds his hands up. “Fine, fine, I give up.”
“So,” Ann starts, “How’s everything going? Does you back hurt? Are your feet swollen? Does everything make you cry? I can’t believe you’re pregnant and I’m not there to help you through this! You were so amazing when I was pregnant. I’m so sorry I’m not there.” Ann looks like she’s going to cry and moves in to give Leslie another hug, who is also looking like she’s going to cry about any second. Ben glances at Chris…yep, his eyes are all watery too. Good lord.
“Hey, you know, I’m there,” he interjects before anyone can actually start bawling. “I’m helping her.”
Ann gives him a look. “The last time you were in charge, Leslie almost got a pawn shop tattoo.”
Leslie nods and lets Ben know, “She does have a point, babe.”
“Because you got me drunk!” He tells his wife not even trying to hide his slightly exasperated tone.
Ann scoffs at him, turns her attention back to Leslie. “Are you horny all the time? I was horny all the time the first six months. Seriously, Chris was practically on call for all of the sex.”
Chris seems to agree with this and adds, “It’s true. I had many duties to perform. In the morning, sometimes at lunch in the third floor janitor’s closet, back at home.” He turns his attention to Ben. “You’ll be happy to know that the guest room’s bed hardly squeaks at all. So feel free to assist Leslie with any needs that she has during your visit. You won’t disturb anyone here!”
“Oh, um…great. Right. Okay?”
“Let’s see, what else…” Ann thankfully interrupts Ben, easily slipping into her role as (according to Leslie) the most beautiful nurse in the whole world, “Any breast tenderness?” Ben reaches for a pretzel from the bowl on the coffee table and nearly chokes on it when Ann’s next question is, “Any weird vaginal discharge these first few months? Do you have hemorrhoids? Tell me everything!”
Chris ends up slapping him on the back a few times, while Leslie looks at him all concerned. “Babe?”
“I’m uh, fine. I’m fine.” In all honesty, he already knows the answers to all of those questions (yes, no, no), but being involved in such a friendly discussion with both Ann and Chris about it is…well, it’s uncomfortable. And a little weird? He looks around at everyone just relaxing and kicking back while they discuss his wife’s vagina and…other areas.
Yeah, it’s weird.
“Ben, would you like to come with me outside and start the grill while Ann and Leslie catch up?” Chris asks, noticing his friend’s growing discomfort.
“Oh, thank god. Yes. Let’s do that.”
Timeline: Post-season six, pre-season seven.
Summary: Leslie and Ben go visit Ann and Chris and Michigan.
“Oh! Ohhhh!” Ann exclaims excitedly, taking in Leslie’s appearance at her front door. The navy blue cotton dress looks cool and comfortable, and although the patterned vertical stripe running down the front is cute, it does nothing to camouflage her massively growing belly-even though the sale’s lady at Pawnee’s new maternity boutique, Frocked Up, promised Leslie that it would.
“I can’t believe you’re so big! My god, you look like you’re at least six months pregnant!”
“I do,” Leslie agrees, smiling-practically beaming.
“You’re only four and a half!” Ann responds, eyes still wide.
“I know!” And with those declarations over, Leslie runs inside Chris and Ann’s house and envelopes her best friend in an enthusiastic hug. “I’m so huge!”
Ben follows behind and ends up in his own bear hug with Chris, finally opting to just quietly drop their bags on the floor when it becomes apparent that Chris isn’t going to let go anytime soon.
“Did you have a nice drive?” Ann asks, pulling back and placing her palm on Leslie’s stomach.
“We did…we only had to stop three times because I had to pee.”
“Three times in four hours is nothing. In a couple of months, you’ll look back on that fondly,” Ann promises with a nod, taking Leslie’s hand and pulling her into the living room. Chris releases Ben and they follow, while Oliver is already waiting for everyone in his playpen just a few feet away.
Once they get settled, Ann warns, “Oh, don’t let Jerry drink milk in front of you while you’re pregnant.” Chris nods in agreement.
“Larry?” Leslie asks.
“Oh, right. Yeah, whatever he’s calling himself these day,” Ann says. “It was just…” she trails off, shuddering. “Even I couldn’t look at my breasts for days afterwards. And poor Chris…”
“That was, literally, the most disturbing thing I have ever seen,” Chris agrees.
“His name is Garry,” Ben mentions, “And he’s actually very-” Leslie, Ann, and Chris stare at him for a second and start laughing, cutting him off in his defense of Garry Gergich.
Ben holds his hands up. “Fine, fine, I give up.”
“So,” Ann starts, “How’s everything going? Does you back hurt? Are your feet swollen? Does everything make you cry? I can’t believe you’re pregnant and I’m not there to help you through this! You were so amazing when I was pregnant. I’m so sorry I’m not there.” Ann looks like she’s going to cry and moves in to give Leslie another hug, who is also looking like she’s going to cry about any second. Ben glances at Chris…yep, his eyes are all watery too. Good lord.
“Hey, you know, I’m there,” he interjects before anyone can actually start bawling. “I’m helping her.”
Ann gives him a look. “The last time you were in charge, Leslie almost got a pawn shop tattoo.”
Leslie nods and lets Ben know, “She does have a point, babe.”
“Because you got me drunk!” He tells his wife not even trying to hide his slightly exasperated tone.
Ann scoffs at him, turns her attention back to Leslie. “Are you horny all the time? I was horny all the time the first six months. Seriously, Chris was practically on call for all of the sex.”
Chris seems to agree with this and adds, “It’s true. I had many duties to perform. In the morning, sometimes at lunch in the third floor janitor’s closet, back at home.” He turns his attention to Ben. “You’ll be happy to know that the guest room’s bed hardly squeaks at all. So feel free to assist Leslie with any needs that she has during your visit. You won’t disturb anyone here!”
“Oh, um…great. Right. Okay?”
“Let’s see, what else…” Ann thankfully interrupts Ben, easily slipping into her role as (according to Leslie) the most beautiful nurse in the whole world, “Any breast tenderness?” Ben reaches for a pretzel from the bowl on the coffee table and nearly chokes on it when Ann’s next question is, “Any weird vaginal discharge these first few months? Do you have hemorrhoids? Tell me everything!”
Chris ends up slapping him on the back a few times, while Leslie looks at him all concerned. “Babe?”
“I’m uh, fine. I’m fine.” In all honesty, he already knows the answers to all of those questions (yes, no, no), but being involved in such a friendly discussion with both Ann and Chris about it is…well, it’s uncomfortable. And a little weird? He looks around at everyone just relaxing and kicking back while they discuss his wife’s vagina and…other areas.
Yeah, it’s weird.
“Ben, would you like to come with me outside and start the grill while Ann and Leslie catch up?” Chris asks, noticing his friend’s growing discomfort.
“Oh, thank god. Yes. Let’s do that.”