Soup-making for Dummies (2/2)
Rating: hard R
Timeline: AU, but you could say it takes place somewhere around the Season 3 timeline.
Summary: Ben is teaching an Insuring Fiscal Responsibility in Local Units of Government class and Leslie thinks he is a jerk.
Part I
“Okay, what’s the emergency?” Ann asks, walking out to the City Hall courtyard at nine in the morning. Leslie reaches to accept the triple mocha in her friend’s out-stretched hand, just as Ann sits down at the table beside her.
“Ann, you exotic roasted coffee bean. I slept with him,” Leslie says quickly and then takes a sip of her coffee. Thank god for Ann…and coffee mixed with chocolate, she thinks.
“Who?” Her friend’s eyes widen as she looks around the thankfully deserted courtyard. But then Ann starts to smile regardless of her disbelief. “I thought you were going to go home and eat cereal for dinner last night.”
“I was, but I went to the store first and ran into Ben and then we went to the Bulge for a beer. And we got onion rings and Knopetails and blow jobs and then, I took him home and totally did sex things with him, naked in bed. Oh, and I also loaned him my Theodore Roosevelt biography. You know? The one about preservation and patriotism and how- ”
“Hold on. What?” Ann interrupts, looking confused again.
“Ben. Ben Wyatt.” Leslie lowers her voice. “You know, my teacher from the Financial Responsibility class. We had sex.”
“Oh my god. The fascist? You had sex with the fascist? From the phone the other night?”
Leslie sighs. “He’s a really cute fascist. Who likes Jack London, used to be an 18-year old mayor of his hometown, and who does really amazing things with his tongue now.”
“Oh, really?” Ann asks, grinning at her.
“Yeah. From what I remember. It was awesome…a couple of times. And Ann, he left me aspirin and a glass of water by the bed. I don’t even know where my aspirin is-”
“That does not surprise me.”
“But then he also snuck off while I was still sleeping and took my Teddy Roosevelt biography, so I’m probably not getting that back. There was a note…something about having to rush home and let his dog out. He claims that he tried to wake me up, but he--”
“Well, you are hard to wake up sometimes.”
Leslie nods. “I know, but Ann. His dog? He had to let his dog out? Doesn’t that sound kind of…I don’t know, made up? Like he just wanted to get away quickly while I was unconscious? Has a guy ever had sex with you and then said that to you the next morning? On a piece of paper…well, on the back of an old envelope that he must have found in the bathroom in your old-but-still-usable envelopes pile?”
Ann purses her lips and shakes her head. “No. I don’t think so, but--”
“No, of course not, you seductive she-minx. Who would sneak out of your house after having sex with you?”
“Leslie--”
“I had a feeling that this had been going too well lately. You know, with Dave and then Justin-they were both relatively normal. Oh, did I ever tell you? Mark had to rush home the next morning for an important meeting. It was a Sunday.”
Ann frowns as Leslie continues.
“Once, a guy crawled along the floor in my dorm and tried to open the door and leave without me seeing him. One other time, this guy pretended to get a cell phone call right afterwards. He actually made little beeping noises and then talked into an imaginary phone-when he hung up he said his aunt had just died and he had to go to the emergency funeral.”
“Oh no, ” Ann says shaking her head. “That’s--”
“This one guy pretended to go take a shower and then he escaped out my bathroom window-he left his shoes in my bedroom, I think I still have them in the closet somewhere. Oh, and spooning isn’t always positive-especially when there are real spoons involved.”
“Leslie, that’s all horrible and they were all really, really stupid. I’m sure that’s not what’s going on here.”
Leslie shuts her eyes and groans. “This is bad. This is the worst. This is a massive, swirling poopnado of horrible. This is almost as bad as crank-calling my teacher and then having to go to class. Except now I crank-sexed him too. I crank-sexed him last night and tonight I have to pretend he has an imaginary dog and it’s going to be very, very awkward.”
She sighs and puts her head down on the table. Leslie can feel Ann sympathetically rubbing her on the shoulder and it does make her feel a little bit better.
“It’ll be okay,” Ann promises, just as Leslie’s phone alerts her to a text. When she looks at it, she’s surprised to see it’s from Ben. There’s even a photo too.
Good morning. I was afraid that my note sounded weird so here’s me and my dog, Champion this morning on our walk. Also, I had a really, very nice time last night. See you in class later. Be prepared for fiscal responsibility, Ms. Knope! Or should I say Ms. Adams :)
“Oh my god, he has a real dog! He wasn’t just trying to leave quickly this morning,” she shouts out. Then Leslie looks around to make sure her and Ann are still alone in the courtyard.
Crap.
Of course, Councilman Howser is now over in the far corner eating what looks like an egg sandwich and he obviously just heard her excited outburst. Leslie gives him a quick nod and an, “enjoy your breakfast, Councilman Howser,” before turning her attention back to Ann.
“What?”
“Ben,” Leslie says quieter. “He just texted me and there’s a photo of his dog. He sent me a dog pic.”
“Of course he has a dog.” But even as she says it, Ann looks more than a little relieved too. “I knew he did. And he probably did try to wake you up. Really, Leslie, you are impossible to wake up when you’re overly exhausted. And you’ve been telling me how you haven’t been sleeping well lately. A whole week with less than three hours of sleep each night had to catch up with you at some point.”
Leslie nods and shows her the text message and accompanying image.
“Oh, he is cute,” her friend says. Then Ann looks at the picture on Leslie’s phone more closely. “Wait. Does his dog only have three legs? And why does he call you Ms. Adams?”
“Huh?” Leslie asks as she types out a text in response. How many winky faces is too many? After she decides that three is just the right amount for two sentences, she hits send.
Then she studies the photo closer. Yep. That is definitely a three-legged dog.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s fine. It was a thing last night…Han Solo and Abigail Adams, just doing tongue stuff to each other, you know, nothing too weird. Okay, pros: he’s cute, is really good at sex stuff, and he has a three-legged dog which means he’s kind and easily susceptible to cute things,” Leslie says.
“And cons: he’s all numbers-this and no services-that and he’s my teacher for the next three weeks, which is probably crossing all kinds of ethical lines. Oh, wait. Unless the dog had four legs when Ben got him, then that one is a con. But, I think I can work with this.”
Ann nods and smiles. “Ben sounds like a good guy. Aside from the ethics things. And possibly the missing dog leg.”
“He is, I think. And to be fair, I did get him drunk before he sucked whipped cream off my nose,” she says, ignoring Ann’s lovely, bewildered expression.
“Okay, this is what I’m wearing to class tonight, how do I look?” Leslie stands up and models her cute blue and white polka dot dress, tugs the top down to show a bit more cleavage.
It’s the outfit she picked out early this morning when she was absolutely, positively determined not to get into another Mark situation. Determined to make Ben Wyatt absolutely regret fuck and run-ning her.
“What are you going for?”
“Well, earlier it was, eat your heart out, you blew it, but now it’s sophisticated with a hint of slutty and hmmm, also hi, I jumped your bones last night--that was fun. We should do that again.”
“Bulls-eye. It’s so nice to see you so happy about a guy.”
“Thanks. But we still have to make it through class tonight without it being too weird. How can I just act like a normal student in his class when I’ve…” Leslie leans in close. “Had certain body parts of his in my mouth?”
Ann’s eyebrows shoot up, before she teases, “His elbow?”
Leslie laughs, shakes her head, and adds (probably a bit too loudly), “Oh, you beautiful, naive newborn baby. No, Ann. It was his penis.”
* * * * *
Class that night goes slowly, if for no other reason than she’s a bit hungover again.
It also doesn’t help that Leslie tries her hand at being coy, getting to the room a mere two minutes before the start time of seven o'clock. Aside from sharing a quick smile with Ben while he’s setting up a Powerpoint presentation, all the spots up front are already taken and she has to find a seat in back.
Of course, the only one open is next to Joe Fantringham from Pawnee’s Sanitation Department, causing Leslie to mutter an “oh boy,” to herself as she sits down.
“Looking good these days Knope,” Joe whispers to her, his words accompanied with one of his trademark leers, all while Ben is busy answering a student’s question up front. “What do you say after this, we head out to the parking lot? My van--”
As she interrupts Joe to quietly decline, she notices Ben watching her instead of paying attention to the comments from the student in the front row. She gives him a grin, which he returns and then gets flustered and seems to forget what he’s talking about for a few seconds.
God. He’s so adorable when he’s umm-ing repeatedly and nervously rustling his papers around-like he doesn’t even know how much he’s turning her on.
Later, when Ben makes a comment about neighboring Eagleton and their practically inevitable, upcoming budget disaster, Leslie needs to grip onto the desk in order to keep from rushing at him and knocking him down with hot, open-mouthed kisses. Because that would probably not be a good idea in the middle of his lecture on Insuring Fiscal Responsibility in Local Units of Government.
Right.
It’s after class, when he’s slowly gathering his things up and Leslie is doing the same (after turning sewage Joe and an invitation to a toilet party down yet again), that she makes her way up to the front, just as the last of the other students are filing out.
“Mr. Wyatt.”
“Ms. Knope,” he answers, unable to hide a small smile.
“Benjamin…Ben,” she adds, moving closer and okay, it’s not so much awkward that she’s had his penis in her mouth, as it is super, super sexy.
“Lesliemin…Leslie.”
They grin dumbly at each other for a few more seconds.
“You were surprisingly unopinionated in class tonight.”
“Well,” she starts to respond, “I wouldn’t say that, I just figured that I could maybe…tell you my opinions on how you’re doing this all wrong later. Outside of the classroom?”
Ben snorts at her words, as he starts absentmindedly rubbing his thumb back and forth on the corner of his briefcase and Leslie can almost imagine exactly how that little movement of his would feel on her skin instead.
She takes a step closer and so does Ben, as he looks right at her and she can definitely remember him giving her that same look last night, right when he finally pushed inside her and moaned.
“Oh really?” He says finally, seeming much more flirty and less annoyed with her than he was during their first classroom encounter last week.
“Yeah. We could talk about--”
“Ben Wyatt!”
At the sudden intrusion, Ben jumps in surprise and kind of hits some filing cabinets near the desk, before they both turn towards the door to see Chris Traeger walking into the classroom.
“And Leslie Knope,” Chris adds enthusiastically. “Literally, two of my favorite people.”
“Oh,” Leslie makes a face and then looks at Chris and then Ben, utterly confused. “What--”
“Chris,” Ben says, slowly nodding. “Uh, that’s right. We’re getting together tonight. After my class.”
“Did you forget?” Chris asks, looking just a bit hurt.
“Oh, no. No. No not at all,” Ben says in a way that makes Leslie pretty sure he forgot. Wait…Ben knows the new Pawnee City Manager?
She makes a face and Chris must notice her confusion because he tells her, “Leslie, Ben and I are old friends. And we had plans to go out and catch up tonight.”
“Right. Right,” Ben nods his head aggressively. “Um, Ms. Knope here is from the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department…well, you know that, she works for you. Ms. Knope is also in my class. And she was just asking me a couple of follow-up questions about the lecture tonight.” Ben turns to her. “So. I hope that answers your question.”
“Oh. Yeah,” Leslie agrees, matching Ben’s enthusiastic nodding. “It does. Perfectly. I should go. I need to study.”
“That’s the spirit!” Chris tells her as she readjusts her bag over her shoulder. “And Leslie, I would invite you along with us, but really since Ben is your teacher, it might look kind of unethical for you to socialize with him outside of class.”
* * * * *
Leslie’s only been home from Pawnee Community College for about two hours or so before her cell phone starts ringing. When she looks at it, she’s not too surprised to see it’s from Ben.
When he responds to her greeting, his hi is warm and friendly, like he’s been looking forward to talking to her, like maybe he called her first thing after getting home from his night out with Chris and the possibility makes her smile.
“My refrigerator isn’t running,” she tells him quickly, jokingly, before settling back on her couch. She sets the Parks binder she’s been working on aside and gives Ben her full attention.
“No, it’s probably not. Believe it or not, I wasn’t going to ask you that. This isn’t a crank-call,” he insists.
“So.”
“So,” Ben agrees.
“That was weird. Earlier. I--”
“Yeah. Leslie, here’s the thing,” he interrupts. “Since he’s City Manager, Chris is technically your boss. And knowing him like I do, I know that he was very serious about the socializing outside of class and that he should definitely not find out that we uh, did what we did while you’re enrolled in this course. You could get in trouble if it looks like we did that so I would pass you.” Ben pauses. “Wait. You didn’t do that to make sure you get a passing grade, right?”
“No,” Leslie assures him, too surprised to be offended. “We did that because we were drunk and you’re cute. But also, I’m going to get a more-than-passing grade just fine, thank you. And I don’t have to have awesome sex with you for that to happen.”
“Right. Of course,” Ben agrees quickly, his voice all warm and rushed in her ear. “And, um, you’re very cute too.”
She smiles and has to stop herself from audibly giggling into the phone at his compliment. Instead, she asks, “But I don’t understand. How do you know Chris?”
“Oh, that. We actually used to work together. We spent a couple of years on the road, doing state audits around Indiana.”
"Really?”
“Yes. So, I do know what I’m talking about. But anyway, I quit that a couple of years ago, got sick of traveling. Settled down in Indianapolis.”
“What made you do that?”
“My girlfriend.”
Leslie frowns. You have got to be kidding me, she thinks. This…again?
“Oh, no,” Ben says in a rush. “Wait. No. I mean my then-girlfriend. My ex-girlfriend. Not my now-girlfriend. I don’t have a now-girlfriend. We’re not together anymore, we haven’t been for almost a year. Rebecca lives in Denver.”
“Oh.” She releases a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding.
“Yeah. And then I got the job at Tilton and Radomski. I wanted a change, so I moved out here from Indy.”
“And you’re not seeing anyone?” She prods, just wanting to clarify for sure.
“No,” he assures her and she can practically hear the smile in his voice when he starts talking again. “Well, there is a blonde pain in the ass in this fiscal responsibility class that I’m teaching. She’s pretty cute. And she’s read a surprising number of political biographies.”
Leslie laughs, relief flowing throughout her body. “She sounds awesome.”
“She is…except her house is kind of terrifying.”
“It’s not that bad. I have a system,” Leslie insists, just as she pushes a box of old egg beaters sitting on the coffee table with her outstretched foot. “So, hey, here’s something I have to ask, your dog--”
“Champion?”
“Yeah. Did he only have three legs when you got him?”
Ben laughs and when he does, it definitely makes her wish he was sitting on her couch beside her rather than all the way over at his place. “Yes. I went to the shelter a couple of months after the break-up. I guess I was kind of lonely. I was going to get a cat or something, but I don’t know, how do you not adopt a three-legged dog?”
“God. That is so cute.”
“Oh yeah?”
Leslie can almost hear Ben’s smile through the phone.
During their discussion Leslie also learns that after six months, Ben is still slowly gaining Champion’s trust, and that he’s kind of unfulfilled and unhappy at his accounting job and wants to quit (too much estate planning and helping corporations find accounting loopholes, according to Ben), but his boss Barney Varmn seems so attached to him that Ben can never seem to bring himself to actually give notice.
Leslie bites her tongue to keep from telling Ben that she actually knows Barney-that he’s one of the Community Rec Center instructors.
Of course it’s the perfect segue into trying to explain to him again why community classes are so important, but it seems wrong to bring that up again when Ben is opening up to her about something personal. So she saves it.
She’ll just tell him the next time she sees him. Maybe right before she jumps his bones again? Before the pants come off? Yes, perfect.
“If you did quit, what would you do?”
“Okay, don’t laugh-”
“I’m not going to laugh,” Leslie assures him.
“Well, I have this idea for a brand-new gaming experience. I’ve been calling it the Cones of Dunshire and it’d be a multi-player, figurine-based, strategy fantasy game with two wizards, a Maverick, an arbiter, two warriors, a corporal, and a ledgerman-”
He’s still explaining everything when Leslie can’t help it--she giggles. A lot. He’s such a nerdy, smart, hot little hummingbird…who likes cone metaphors?
“You said you weren’t going to laugh,” Ben complains, sounding a little disappointed.
“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I…it’s…it sounds fun. A ledgerman, huh?”
“Well, I’ve also always wanted to learn claymation too.”
“Hmmmm.”
“Or, uh, maybe even teach full-time? I think this is going good,” Ben pauses. “Well, aside from the whole sleeping-with-a-student thing. But--”
“Do you know what I think?” She asks, hoping he’ll says yes because she really, really wants to tell him.
“What?”
Good enough. Leslie smiles. “You should definitely quit if you don’t love your job.”
“Really?” He sounds like that was an unexpected response.
“Yes. Jack London, Ben--you can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. You shouldn’t be working at an accounting firm if it doesn’t make you feel impassioned and inspired, and if you don’t feel like you’re working hard at work worth doing, alongside a team of people you love…well, you should do something else,” she says, thinking of her own treasured position at the Parks and Recreations department and the co-workers that she’s definitely come to love.
After a few seconds of silence, Leslie also thinks that maybe she’s done it again-scared another one off with her tenacity and exuberance. All she really knows about Ben is that he seems to startle easily, he likes numbers and ledgers, has a great butt, and he has a three-legged dog.
And also, that he kicks the covers off during the night.
Leslie tries to backpedal and adds, “Sorry. Maybe that was too strong. It’s just…I don’t know you that well of course, but for someone who ran and won a mayoral election at eighteen--”
“I was impeached in disgrace during my first year in office,” Ben reminds her.
“It doesn’t matter. You cared and you obviously thought you could make a difference and you tried. So, stop being an account if you don’t love it. Teach, or run for office again, learn claymation, or go make this Cones of Dumplings--”
“Dunshire.”
“Right. Do that.” What the hell? She might as well go for broke, Leslie thinks, before adding dramatically, “Jack London and I believe in you, Ben.”
There’s another short silence and she gets herself ready to hear about how she’s too bossy or too pushy or too overzealous, but Ben doesn’t use any of those familiar words.
Instead he surprises her and says, “Oh my god. You are so…I mean…fuuuck.” The last word it comes out as a slow, low exhale that makes her stomach flutter. “Leslie. I am so attracted to you right now.”
“Oh yeah?” She asks in a throaty, flirty voice…just like Ann taught her last year.
“Yeah. So, I know we shouldn’t socialize outside of class, but how unethical do you think it would be for me to tell you all about how much I really want to touch you and make you feel really, really good? How I wish I could be right inside all of that passion again. Right now while we’re on the phone?”
“I’d say that depends, Mr. Solo,” Leslie teases. “What are you wearing?”
* * * * *
“We really need to stop doing this, at least for the next week and a half,” Ben tells her groggily, as his fingers lightly skim across her bare hip.
Leslie smiles as she opens her eyes again and takes in the sight of Ben’s neat, sparse, and comfortable bedroom. It’s all clean lines and order, with a big bed and a soft plaid comforter. At six in the morning, she hadn’t really been sleeping anymore, just closing her eyes and waiting for him to wake up.
Okay, fine, so maybe she lightly kicked him, trying to hurry him up a little.
“Ending up in bed together while I’m taking your class?” She asks, while turning over on her side, careful to avoid breathing on him once they’re facing each other.
Yeah,“ Ben agrees, letting his hand wander down and over the top of her thigh. The sensation makes her feel a little goosebumpy, like she wants to jump on top of him and have Ben for breakfast.
"It’s like state government-mandated instruction with…benefits.”
Ben makes a face. “That does not sound very good.”
“Well, you know what I mean. And besides, we were consoling each other last night.”
Ben looks confused for a moment, before quickly adding. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean…god, it’s so sad. I can’t believe he’s gone. Are you, um, doing okay?”
She had called him in tears the night before, right after hearing about Li'l Sebastian’s passing from Ron. Thirty minutes later, Leslie was standing in his living room in her sneaking-around clothes, Ben hugging her tight, and assuring her that it was okay to cry.
After she’d managed to calm down a bit, they had spent a few minutes discussing their favorite memories of the little guy-Leslie told him all about the recent Harvest Festival and Ben said that not only had he attended the festival (she couldn’t help but wonder if their paths had ever crossed at the event?) but that he’d had a great time. He had also seemed really impressed that she and her team had organized the event, and insisted that Li'l Sebastian was definitely his favorite part.
In fact, Ben was so upset about the little horse, he seemed to have a hard time getting the words out.
Within the hour, they were in his bedroom.
This second time, they skipped the historical kissing, as well as Han and Abigail, and gotten right to the good part-doing it Li'l Sebastian-style as a fitting tribute, Ben deep inside her from behind.
“Well, he was really old,” she tells him, turning to give him a wide awake morning smile. “And now Li'l Sebastian is in heaven and doing the things he loved most, eating carrots and urinating freely.”
Ben nods next to her. “Yeah. He was…um…an inspiration.”
“Really? With the urinating and all?” Leslie asks, laughing lightly.
“Well,” Ben grins at her, “I too enjoy a good carrot.”
“Ew,” Leslie comments, sitting up in bed. She doesn’t bother to pull the sheet up as she sits with her back against his headboard. “This is a great apartment.”
“Huh?” Ben asks and when she looks at him, his eyes are very obviously not on her face but…a bit lower.
“Is this a problem for conversation?” She teases him, enjoying the way he blushes just a bit at getting caught staring at her boobs so obviously. It makes her feel sexy and powerful, and she definitely likes it.
“Well, it depends on how um, much attention you want me to devote to what you’re saying,” he smiles at her. “I’m sorry, but…they’re very nice. I like them a lot. And if they’re just there, I kind of want to look at them.”
“You’re talking about my shoulders, right?”
Ben laughs and being here with him, like this, she can’t believe she ever thought he was terrible or a jerk.
“Yes. Your shoulders. Here.” He pulls the comforter up and presses the material lightly against her breasts. “So, my apartment. Well, yeah, it’s very nice too. But, now that I’ve given notice at the accounting firm, thanks to you and our mutual friend Jack London, it’s not really practical stay here. Besides, my lease is up at the end of the month, so I didn’t renew.”
“You’re looking for a new place to live? Soon?” Leslie looks over at the corner of his bedroom, where he has an overnight bag set out. It looks like he’s even started to pack.
“Oh that?” Ben motions towards the bag. “Unrelated. My brother and his wife are having babies. Twins. And Champion and I are taking a road trip to Chicago when it happens. It could honestly be any time now. I need to be ready to leave when I get the call.”
“Wow,” Leslie comments. Two babies, she can’t even imagine what a handful that would be. Although…
“Yeah. Twins actually run in my family and-”
“You know, I’ve been told I have an industrial-sized oven. That I could go triplets right off the bat,” she blurts out. Crap on a tricycle. She didn’t scare him off last week with her enthusiasm for being inspired by work, but now she can watch him run over her impressive and ample uterus.
“Oh, alright,” Ben says, eyes wide. “Um-”
“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “No. That’s okay. Good to know. That is good to know. But, um, yeah. I am looking for a cheaper place to live until I know what I’m going to be doing. I’m trying to be…fiscally responsible.” He tells her with a smirk, her over-share seeming to already be forgotten.
But really? Fiscal-responsibility? Class talk while in bed? That’s definitely against the rules. Leslie leans over quickly and pulls his side of the covers back, startling Ben in the process.
“Hey. What’s happening?”
“Checking for pants. Nope, just what I thought,” she comments, admiring his definite lack of pants. “That’s a penis.”
“That is accurate,” Ben agrees, nodding.
“You know what they say, penis out, calculator not out.” When he still looks confused she adds, “Going commando? No Math-mando. If the one-eyed snake is awake, then-”
“Alright,” Ben laughs. “I get it. So, I am looking for a new place…just, um, because? So, can we uh…” he takes the covers from her and puts them back down, covering himself up, still clearly a bit flustered.
“But you’re staying in Pawnee, right?”
“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Why?”
“Because, I know just the place for you to live.”
“Really? Where?”
“My friends’ house. They're looking for a roommate,” she starts telling him and gets so excited that she lets the comforter fall down around her waist again. “April and Andy. She works in the Parks Department and is the most promising, gifted, beautiful government employee in the world and Andy also works in City Hall and gives great piggy-back rides. He’s also in the best band ever-Mouse Rat. Have you heard of them?”
“The band? Or your friends?”
“Oh, well, the band…or my friends,” Leslie confirms.
“Nope. Neither.”
“Well, you’ll love them. And-”
“But what about Champion? I need to move some place where I can have a dog.”
“Don’t worry, it’s perfect,” Leslie bounces up and down a little more in excitement, before adding, “focus Ben.”
“Sorry. I am paying one hundred percent attention.”
She’s pretty sure his attention is like sixty percent on her chest and forty percent on the words coming out of her mouth, but…she decides that she’s pretty okay with that.
“They love animals and it’s a house, so Champion will have a yard. Oh!” She bounces again, mainly because the expression he makes whenever she does is really, really cute-like a sexy, sleepy, aroused porcupine with his messy hair sticking up in all directions.
“It’s also only a few blocks from Ramsett Park so you can take Champion on walks. And not just a walk in any park. One of the best parks in the city, dare I say, all of Indiana. Probably the nation. A gem of a green space that is provided to the citizens of Pawnee by the local government, the Parks and Recreation Depart…” she stops talking when Ben pulls the covers all the way off her.
“Yep,” he nods. “Just as I suspected. No pants. In fact, if I am not mistaken, and I don’t think I am, that is definitely a pu…” he stops talking abruptly and studies her. “Vagina?”
It’s so easy to forget that they’ve only known each other about two and a half weeks and that this is only the second time they’ve slept together. They’re still learning what the other likes and doesn’t and Ben is obviously trying not to offend her. She should probably help him out.
Instead, Leslie says, “I prefer lady pocket,” and then has to use all her will power to keep from giggling. Somehow she manages to keep it together and it’s completely worth it for the utterly confused look on Ben’s face.
“Seriously? Like a…calzone?”
“Ugh. No, Ben. I’m just kidding! Besides, a calzone? No one like calzones. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat,” Leslie insists with a shudder, taking the covers from him. Ben, of course, is grinning all smugly and looks like he’s about to disagree, but before he can, she adds, “But, you’re right, I’m not wearing pants, so I will just say that you should move in with my friends because it’s near a really great place…with trees.”
“Do you have-”
“Yeah,” Leslie quickly leans over the side of the bed to grab her bag and as she does, she can feel Ben’s hand gripping her hip, probably to keep her from tumbling off the bed. It’s sweet. And yeah, he sort of squeezes her ass a little, but that’s definitely more than okay too.
When she returns she has her planner. Leslie pulls one of her business cards from the little compartment and grabs her pen from the elastic holder. “I’m going to give you one of my cards, but I’m going to write down April’s…well, actually, I think I’ll give you the phone number to the shoe polishing stand. You should talk to Andy first,” she says as she carefully writes out the number and correct extension and hands it to him.
“Andy Dwyer,” Ben reads out loud.
“Yeah. Your new roommate. Call him. Today.”
“Alright, Leslie. I will.” He smiles at her.
“Good. Ben,” she says his name slowly, unable to keep from grinning back. “Hey, you know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think Li'l Sebastian would want us to make out with each other, and then probably make pancakes.”
Ben studies her for a second and then moves closer, finally reaching out to touch her exposed skin. “I think you’re probably right about that.”
* * * * *
Of course, it's a little disappointing, Leslie thinks walking down the hallway at Pawnee Community College, knowing that as soon as this last class is over, that Ben is going to go drive off to Chicago with Champion for who knows how long.
How long does it usually take to meet a couple of babies? It's not like they can do much besides cry, eat, and poop.
No, she tells herself, no, of course Ben should go be an uncle--Uncle Ben. Leslie giggles at that.
Besides, the two of them were going to need to find a way to keep their hands off each other for a few days anyway, just so it didn't look too obvious, so this birth of his brother's twins is fairly convenient.
When Leslie gets to the classroom a few minutes early, Ben is at the desk in front and organizing test booklets, looking like a hot, sexy professor. God, yeah. And after this class is over, they're totally going to have to roleplay something like that. Mmmmmm...professor hot butt and she can be a naughty student. Oh! Or maybe she's the strict principal and he's the new teacher? So many possibilities.
"Hey," she tells him, trying to get her mind out of the gutter and into the mode to ace this test.
Ben looks up and grins as soon as he sees her. A big, wide flirty smile that makes the pit of her stomach flutter regardless of how much she tells herself to reign it in.
"Oh, hi, Ms. Knope. It's nice to see you tonight."
She smiles back and hands him a bag. "I brought you an apple. You know, for being a great teacher."
"Really?" He asks, looking surprised and pleased. "Thank you. But...I thought no one liked my class."
Now Ben is clearly messing with her, throwing her own words after the first class back at her. Jerk.
Sexy, teasing, jerk.
She smiles. "I may have been exaggerating just a tiny bit."
"Oh, alright. Well, I appreciate the apple, then."
Leslie looks around the still empty classroom. Since they're still alone, she leans in and tells him, "It's not really an apple, I made you cookies and also some dog biscuits for Champion. For your trip."
Ben smiles at her, then down at the paper bag in his hands. He sets it on the desk. "That's really sweet. I'm sure we'll enjoy them."
"The cookies are chocolate chip and the biscuits don't have anything gross in them, so if you accidentally eat one of those, it should be okay. But the cookies are much better."
"Cookies for me, biscuits for Champion. Got it," he tells her, as students start coming in. Then he doesn't say anything else, just kind of smiles and blushes at her in a way that makes Leslie want to jump on him and climb him like a tree--a wise, coy, sexy oak tree in a cute brown cardigan.
Instead, she nods. "And you'd be really good at teaching...Mr. Wyatt. For real. If you wanted to do that. You'd be good at a lot of things," Leslie moves closer and says softer, "You are good at a lot of things."
"Well, Ms. Knope...you are very passionate and spirited. And I'm sure you'll also be great at whatever you get your little paws...um, fingers on."
Leslie laughs. "Well, I'm going to take my little paws and go get in my seat now."
And then she kind of walks backwards, grinning at him until she bumps into her desk. When she finally gets settled and gets her pen out in preparation for the test, she looks up again and sees Chris now also standing in front, right along with Ben.
"Hi class. Let's get started. I'm sure you all know Chris Traeger, Pawnee's City Manager?" Ben asks everyone as Chris smiles and waves. "Well, he's going to sit in for me tonight and collect the tests at the end of the session. I have a family situation and need to leave class early."
"Exactly. I'm just going to sit here and be so, so proud of all of you. Just bask in the glow of your new-found knowledge of Fiscal Responsibility," Chris says enthusiastically.
"Right...so, Chris has an express mail envelope that he'll be dropping off after class, so your tests should be in Indianapolis by Monday morning first thing and the grades will be available by 5PM that afternoon. If you get at least and eighty percent on the test you'll get a certificate saying that you passed the course. And if you don't, you or a different department representative will need to take and pass this course the next time it's offered. I believe that's August in..." Ben riffles through some papers. "Snerling."
"Oh, Snerling," Chris says, enthusiastically. "I'm sure that will affect no one here, but if so, Snerling has a great health food store--Grain and Simple. If you go, tell them Chris says Hi!"
"Well, I'm sure you'll all do great," Ben tells the classroom, while handing out all the test booklets. He sits up front for a few minutes, just to make sure everyone is doing okay with their tests and then he grabs his briefcase and the bag of cookies and dog treats, and heads towards the door.
Leslie watches his cute little butt until it disappears into the hallway. And then she turns her attention back to her test booklet and begins to kick a little fiscal responsibility ass.
* * * * *
She gets a text from Ben late Thursday night, after she gets home from Ann's house after the class, letting her know that he got to his brother's alright and that he officially has two nieces--Chloe and Frances. And also that both he and Champion enjoyed the cookies and biscuits.
Friday morning, she even gets a photo of Ben holding a tiny baby in a hospital room. When she texts back and asks which one it is, he tells her that he's not really sure, but that they're both very small and wrinkly (but cute!) and that the twins look completely alike. And although Leslie and Ben text and email a couple of times over the next few days, she doesn't actually talk to him on the phone until Monday night.
"I told you I would have no problem passing the test," she says, smiling as she sits on her couch, a plate of celebratory brownies in front of her.
"Yeah, well, you certainly passed it. I mean, you got a hundred percent Leslie. You didn't miss any of the questions. It was the highest score in the class."
"You sound surprised?" Leslie asks.
"Well, no. Maybe? I thought you didn't believe in any of the fascist hard-ass points I was making and then you got a perfect score."
"Oh, I still don't think you're right. But I'm excellent at taking tests."
Ben laughs, warm and happy in her ear. "Okay."
"But...I maybe see the benefit to keeping the department budget under control, and this weekend I may have come up with a plan that reduces the overall Parks and Recreation department's budget by twenty percent."
"You did that? Seriously?" He sounds surprised again. "Because of the class?"
"Seriously," Leslie confirms. "Because of you and the class. And I'd actually appreciate it if you could take a look at it. Maybe when you get back into town?"
"I could do that. I'd be happy to do that. And, I'm actually driving back tomorrow. I was thinking we could have dinner? Kind of go out officially now that we don't have to sneak around while having an illicit student-teacher relationship."
"But I liked sneaking around while having an illicit student-teacher relationship."
She hears him laugh.
"Yeah, Yeah. But...that was a disaster waiting to happen. Neither of us are that good at it. Plus, it honestly made me feel a little unethical and pervy. But now? We can just be pervy, but also one-hundred percent ethical."
"Yay!" Leslie says enthusiastically but then remembers that tomorrow is the first night of her soup-making class. And for how much she enjoys arguing with Ben over the importance of the community center classes, she kind of wants to start fresh when they do this thing for real.
"Oh, wait, no. Sorry, I want to be pervy with you, but I actually have plans tomorrow. A plan. It's nothing, I mean, it's not a date or anything, with someone, just a prior engagement. A commitment. Just...how about the next night. Wednesday?"
There's a pause. "Oh, Wednesday works. I mean, if you can't do Tuesday," he tells her, sounding a little disappointed.
"I want to," she repeats, "but I have a thing. It's...well, it's just a thing. No big deal. But hey, we still have to come up with a good story of how we met anyway."
"Um. You were in my class?"
"No. No. I mean, yes. I know that. But how we re-met," she tells him. "Maybe we unexpectedly ran into each other, somewhere cute, and then started dating."
"Like at the store?"
"Too boring," Leslie says.
Ben laughs. "But that was our actual situation. You tried to hide behind a box of cereal at the grocery store and then we went to a gay bar and you got me drunk and then seduced me with your blow job swilling and political kissing."
"No, you seduced me with your cute butt, coy demeanor, and grumpy fiscal responsibility."
"You seduced and inspired me with Jack London-talk and your Theodore Roosevelt biography," Ben says.
"See, that's what I mean. That sounds weird. We really need to come up with a better story, Ben. Plus, it has to be something that we can tell Chris that is completely ethical, but is also super adorable. Maybe it's that you ran into Andy at the store, decided to move in with them, and then I met you over there?"
"Maybe," Ben responds, but he really doesn't sound convinced. "Oh, and by the way, on that topic? Your friends are insane. But they seem to really like Champion already, so I think it'll work out." Ben pauses, the adds. "But they are seriously crazy."
"But you're still moving in, right?"
"Yeah. Next week."
"Good. Oh! I know! How about this--I entered a radio contest during Crazy Ira and the Douche and you entered the same one, and we both won in a tie and had to split the prize--a trip to Belize. No, we met there on the beach. No--we met in the ocean. I got a cramp in my side as I swam by and you rescued me."
There's a pause, before he asks, "Like in the movie Grease?"
She doesn't have to be looking at him to know that Ben is making his adorable confused face.
"Yeah, but in Belize," she confirms. "It's not like we need to come up with songs. Oh, but if we did, that would be so awesome!"
"I don't know. Maybe we should pick something a little simpler. But, at least we have a couple of days to think about it," Ben adds.
* * * * *
When she gets to the classroom at Pawnee High School Tuesday night, the instructor is at the board, writing out:
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN'T MAKE A GOOD SOUP?
"Oh, Leslie. Hi."
"Hi Tanya," she returns. Great, Leslie thinks, she's probably going to try and sneak a salad recipe into the soup-making lessons.
"Take a seat anywhere on this side. We're going to have a brief lecture...you know, going over kitchen safety and basics like, what is a vegetable? over here, and then we'll head over to the kitchen area and get cooking."
"Sounds good," she agrees, taking a seat.
A lecture on vegetables? Maybe she should have just gone out with Ben tonight.
Leslie's deep in thought over the choices she's made, when she realizes that someone is standing next to her. Someone in tan pants and a nice butt and...
"Is this seat taken?"
"Ben."
"Ms. Knope, hi. Wow, this is such a surprise, running into you."
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I don't know, I was browsing through the Parks Department catalog of community rec center classes and this fun-sounding, yet fairly unnecessary soup-making class caught my attention. Imagine my surprise when I noticed it started tonight."
Leslie laughs, and then makes a serious face, playing along with the Ben's planned serendipity. "Yes. Mr. Wyatt. I remember you. I was in your Fiscal Responsibility class last week," she says loudly, so most of the other students can hear her.
Ben smiles at her, nods his head. "You were. What a funny coincidence that we're now both taking this class."
"Yes, the class that I insisted had a great deal of value to the community. It's so nice that you've realized that I was right," she smirks at him while Ben rolls his eyes, and mouths the words damn pants at her.
Then for good measure, Leslie adds, "Where absolutely no one has any kind of supervisory-type role over the other."
When he finally sits down next to her, Ben leans in and says quietly, "So, when I figured out this must be what your prior engagement tonight probably was, I thought you might appreciate us re-meeting here. Besides, I was hoping to sit next to a girl that would let me practice my French kissing skills on her later. I hear these classes are good for that sort of thing."
Leslie grins. "Oh, I think that can be arranged. But what happened to, uh, people should go buy a cookbook?" She teases.
"All of mine are packed up," Ben cracks back.
Before she can respond, Tanya turns around to address the class.
"Hi and welcome to So You Think You Can't Make a Good Soup, a four-week course on how to create simple yet elegant soups at home. Anyone can make a good soup--you just need the right ingredients and a little know-how. Over the next month, this class will be making a gazpacho, a clam chowder, chicken noodle soup, and a borscht. We'll even talk about salad accompaniments."
Leslie groans.
"But tonight," Tanya continues, and then pauses to turn around and write on the board again. "We'll be making....turkey chili. The person sitting next to you will be your cooking partner when we head over to the class kitchen."
"Mmmmmm," Leslie says, raising her eyebrow in interest at the sexiness of the evening's soup and then touching Ben's knee under the table. "Turkey chili."
* * * THE END * * *
Timeline: AU, but you could say it takes place somewhere around the Season 3 timeline.
Summary: Ben is teaching an Insuring Fiscal Responsibility in Local Units of Government class and Leslie thinks he is a jerk.
Part I
“Okay, what’s the emergency?” Ann asks, walking out to the City Hall courtyard at nine in the morning. Leslie reaches to accept the triple mocha in her friend’s out-stretched hand, just as Ann sits down at the table beside her.
“Ann, you exotic roasted coffee bean. I slept with him,” Leslie says quickly and then takes a sip of her coffee. Thank god for Ann…and coffee mixed with chocolate, she thinks.
“Who?” Her friend’s eyes widen as she looks around the thankfully deserted courtyard. But then Ann starts to smile regardless of her disbelief. “I thought you were going to go home and eat cereal for dinner last night.”
“I was, but I went to the store first and ran into Ben and then we went to the Bulge for a beer. And we got onion rings and Knopetails and blow jobs and then, I took him home and totally did sex things with him, naked in bed. Oh, and I also loaned him my Theodore Roosevelt biography. You know? The one about preservation and patriotism and how- ”
“Hold on. What?” Ann interrupts, looking confused again.
“Ben. Ben Wyatt.” Leslie lowers her voice. “You know, my teacher from the Financial Responsibility class. We had sex.”
“Oh my god. The fascist? You had sex with the fascist? From the phone the other night?”
Leslie sighs. “He’s a really cute fascist. Who likes Jack London, used to be an 18-year old mayor of his hometown, and who does really amazing things with his tongue now.”
“Oh, really?” Ann asks, grinning at her.
“Yeah. From what I remember. It was awesome…a couple of times. And Ann, he left me aspirin and a glass of water by the bed. I don’t even know where my aspirin is-”
“That does not surprise me.”
“But then he also snuck off while I was still sleeping and took my Teddy Roosevelt biography, so I’m probably not getting that back. There was a note…something about having to rush home and let his dog out. He claims that he tried to wake me up, but he--”
“Well, you are hard to wake up sometimes.”
Leslie nods. “I know, but Ann. His dog? He had to let his dog out? Doesn’t that sound kind of…I don’t know, made up? Like he just wanted to get away quickly while I was unconscious? Has a guy ever had sex with you and then said that to you the next morning? On a piece of paper…well, on the back of an old envelope that he must have found in the bathroom in your old-but-still-usable envelopes pile?”
Ann purses her lips and shakes her head. “No. I don’t think so, but--”
“No, of course not, you seductive she-minx. Who would sneak out of your house after having sex with you?”
“Leslie--”
“I had a feeling that this had been going too well lately. You know, with Dave and then Justin-they were both relatively normal. Oh, did I ever tell you? Mark had to rush home the next morning for an important meeting. It was a Sunday.”
Ann frowns as Leslie continues.
“Once, a guy crawled along the floor in my dorm and tried to open the door and leave without me seeing him. One other time, this guy pretended to get a cell phone call right afterwards. He actually made little beeping noises and then talked into an imaginary phone-when he hung up he said his aunt had just died and he had to go to the emergency funeral.”
“Oh no, ” Ann says shaking her head. “That’s--”
“This one guy pretended to go take a shower and then he escaped out my bathroom window-he left his shoes in my bedroom, I think I still have them in the closet somewhere. Oh, and spooning isn’t always positive-especially when there are real spoons involved.”
“Leslie, that’s all horrible and they were all really, really stupid. I’m sure that’s not what’s going on here.”
Leslie shuts her eyes and groans. “This is bad. This is the worst. This is a massive, swirling poopnado of horrible. This is almost as bad as crank-calling my teacher and then having to go to class. Except now I crank-sexed him too. I crank-sexed him last night and tonight I have to pretend he has an imaginary dog and it’s going to be very, very awkward.”
She sighs and puts her head down on the table. Leslie can feel Ann sympathetically rubbing her on the shoulder and it does make her feel a little bit better.
“It’ll be okay,” Ann promises, just as Leslie’s phone alerts her to a text. When she looks at it, she’s surprised to see it’s from Ben. There’s even a photo too.
Good morning. I was afraid that my note sounded weird so here’s me and my dog, Champion this morning on our walk. Also, I had a really, very nice time last night. See you in class later. Be prepared for fiscal responsibility, Ms. Knope! Or should I say Ms. Adams :)
“Oh my god, he has a real dog! He wasn’t just trying to leave quickly this morning,” she shouts out. Then Leslie looks around to make sure her and Ann are still alone in the courtyard.
Crap.
Of course, Councilman Howser is now over in the far corner eating what looks like an egg sandwich and he obviously just heard her excited outburst. Leslie gives him a quick nod and an, “enjoy your breakfast, Councilman Howser,” before turning her attention back to Ann.
“What?”
“Ben,” Leslie says quieter. “He just texted me and there’s a photo of his dog. He sent me a dog pic.”
“Of course he has a dog.” But even as she says it, Ann looks more than a little relieved too. “I knew he did. And he probably did try to wake you up. Really, Leslie, you are impossible to wake up when you’re overly exhausted. And you’ve been telling me how you haven’t been sleeping well lately. A whole week with less than three hours of sleep each night had to catch up with you at some point.”
Leslie nods and shows her the text message and accompanying image.
“Oh, he is cute,” her friend says. Then Ann looks at the picture on Leslie’s phone more closely. “Wait. Does his dog only have three legs? And why does he call you Ms. Adams?”
“Huh?” Leslie asks as she types out a text in response. How many winky faces is too many? After she decides that three is just the right amount for two sentences, she hits send.
Then she studies the photo closer. Yep. That is definitely a three-legged dog.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s fine. It was a thing last night…Han Solo and Abigail Adams, just doing tongue stuff to each other, you know, nothing too weird. Okay, pros: he’s cute, is really good at sex stuff, and he has a three-legged dog which means he’s kind and easily susceptible to cute things,” Leslie says.
“And cons: he’s all numbers-this and no services-that and he’s my teacher for the next three weeks, which is probably crossing all kinds of ethical lines. Oh, wait. Unless the dog had four legs when Ben got him, then that one is a con. But, I think I can work with this.”
Ann nods and smiles. “Ben sounds like a good guy. Aside from the ethics things. And possibly the missing dog leg.”
“He is, I think. And to be fair, I did get him drunk before he sucked whipped cream off my nose,” she says, ignoring Ann’s lovely, bewildered expression.
“Okay, this is what I’m wearing to class tonight, how do I look?” Leslie stands up and models her cute blue and white polka dot dress, tugs the top down to show a bit more cleavage.
It’s the outfit she picked out early this morning when she was absolutely, positively determined not to get into another Mark situation. Determined to make Ben Wyatt absolutely regret fuck and run-ning her.
“What are you going for?”
“Well, earlier it was, eat your heart out, you blew it, but now it’s sophisticated with a hint of slutty and hmmm, also hi, I jumped your bones last night--that was fun. We should do that again.”
“Bulls-eye. It’s so nice to see you so happy about a guy.”
“Thanks. But we still have to make it through class tonight without it being too weird. How can I just act like a normal student in his class when I’ve…” Leslie leans in close. “Had certain body parts of his in my mouth?”
Ann’s eyebrows shoot up, before she teases, “His elbow?”
Leslie laughs, shakes her head, and adds (probably a bit too loudly), “Oh, you beautiful, naive newborn baby. No, Ann. It was his penis.”
* * * * *
Class that night goes slowly, if for no other reason than she’s a bit hungover again.
It also doesn’t help that Leslie tries her hand at being coy, getting to the room a mere two minutes before the start time of seven o'clock. Aside from sharing a quick smile with Ben while he’s setting up a Powerpoint presentation, all the spots up front are already taken and she has to find a seat in back.
Of course, the only one open is next to Joe Fantringham from Pawnee’s Sanitation Department, causing Leslie to mutter an “oh boy,” to herself as she sits down.
“Looking good these days Knope,” Joe whispers to her, his words accompanied with one of his trademark leers, all while Ben is busy answering a student’s question up front. “What do you say after this, we head out to the parking lot? My van--”
As she interrupts Joe to quietly decline, she notices Ben watching her instead of paying attention to the comments from the student in the front row. She gives him a grin, which he returns and then gets flustered and seems to forget what he’s talking about for a few seconds.
God. He’s so adorable when he’s umm-ing repeatedly and nervously rustling his papers around-like he doesn’t even know how much he’s turning her on.
Later, when Ben makes a comment about neighboring Eagleton and their practically inevitable, upcoming budget disaster, Leslie needs to grip onto the desk in order to keep from rushing at him and knocking him down with hot, open-mouthed kisses. Because that would probably not be a good idea in the middle of his lecture on Insuring Fiscal Responsibility in Local Units of Government.
Right.
It’s after class, when he’s slowly gathering his things up and Leslie is doing the same (after turning sewage Joe and an invitation to a toilet party down yet again), that she makes her way up to the front, just as the last of the other students are filing out.
“Mr. Wyatt.”
“Ms. Knope,” he answers, unable to hide a small smile.
“Benjamin…Ben,” she adds, moving closer and okay, it’s not so much awkward that she’s had his penis in her mouth, as it is super, super sexy.
“Lesliemin…Leslie.”
They grin dumbly at each other for a few more seconds.
“You were surprisingly unopinionated in class tonight.”
“Well,” she starts to respond, “I wouldn’t say that, I just figured that I could maybe…tell you my opinions on how you’re doing this all wrong later. Outside of the classroom?”
Ben snorts at her words, as he starts absentmindedly rubbing his thumb back and forth on the corner of his briefcase and Leslie can almost imagine exactly how that little movement of his would feel on her skin instead.
She takes a step closer and so does Ben, as he looks right at her and she can definitely remember him giving her that same look last night, right when he finally pushed inside her and moaned.
“Oh really?” He says finally, seeming much more flirty and less annoyed with her than he was during their first classroom encounter last week.
“Yeah. We could talk about--”
“Ben Wyatt!”
At the sudden intrusion, Ben jumps in surprise and kind of hits some filing cabinets near the desk, before they both turn towards the door to see Chris Traeger walking into the classroom.
“And Leslie Knope,” Chris adds enthusiastically. “Literally, two of my favorite people.”
“Oh,” Leslie makes a face and then looks at Chris and then Ben, utterly confused. “What--”
“Chris,” Ben says, slowly nodding. “Uh, that’s right. We’re getting together tonight. After my class.”
“Did you forget?” Chris asks, looking just a bit hurt.
“Oh, no. No. No not at all,” Ben says in a way that makes Leslie pretty sure he forgot. Wait…Ben knows the new Pawnee City Manager?
She makes a face and Chris must notice her confusion because he tells her, “Leslie, Ben and I are old friends. And we had plans to go out and catch up tonight.”
“Right. Right,” Ben nods his head aggressively. “Um, Ms. Knope here is from the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department…well, you know that, she works for you. Ms. Knope is also in my class. And she was just asking me a couple of follow-up questions about the lecture tonight.” Ben turns to her. “So. I hope that answers your question.”
“Oh. Yeah,” Leslie agrees, matching Ben’s enthusiastic nodding. “It does. Perfectly. I should go. I need to study.”
“That’s the spirit!” Chris tells her as she readjusts her bag over her shoulder. “And Leslie, I would invite you along with us, but really since Ben is your teacher, it might look kind of unethical for you to socialize with him outside of class.”
* * * * *
Leslie’s only been home from Pawnee Community College for about two hours or so before her cell phone starts ringing. When she looks at it, she’s not too surprised to see it’s from Ben.
When he responds to her greeting, his hi is warm and friendly, like he’s been looking forward to talking to her, like maybe he called her first thing after getting home from his night out with Chris and the possibility makes her smile.
“My refrigerator isn’t running,” she tells him quickly, jokingly, before settling back on her couch. She sets the Parks binder she’s been working on aside and gives Ben her full attention.
“No, it’s probably not. Believe it or not, I wasn’t going to ask you that. This isn’t a crank-call,” he insists.
“So.”
“So,” Ben agrees.
“That was weird. Earlier. I--”
“Yeah. Leslie, here’s the thing,” he interrupts. “Since he’s City Manager, Chris is technically your boss. And knowing him like I do, I know that he was very serious about the socializing outside of class and that he should definitely not find out that we uh, did what we did while you’re enrolled in this course. You could get in trouble if it looks like we did that so I would pass you.” Ben pauses. “Wait. You didn’t do that to make sure you get a passing grade, right?”
“No,” Leslie assures him, too surprised to be offended. “We did that because we were drunk and you’re cute. But also, I’m going to get a more-than-passing grade just fine, thank you. And I don’t have to have awesome sex with you for that to happen.”
“Right. Of course,” Ben agrees quickly, his voice all warm and rushed in her ear. “And, um, you’re very cute too.”
She smiles and has to stop herself from audibly giggling into the phone at his compliment. Instead, she asks, “But I don’t understand. How do you know Chris?”
“Oh, that. We actually used to work together. We spent a couple of years on the road, doing state audits around Indiana.”
"Really?”
“Yes. So, I do know what I’m talking about. But anyway, I quit that a couple of years ago, got sick of traveling. Settled down in Indianapolis.”
“What made you do that?”
“My girlfriend.”
Leslie frowns. You have got to be kidding me, she thinks. This…again?
“Oh, no,” Ben says in a rush. “Wait. No. I mean my then-girlfriend. My ex-girlfriend. Not my now-girlfriend. I don’t have a now-girlfriend. We’re not together anymore, we haven’t been for almost a year. Rebecca lives in Denver.”
“Oh.” She releases a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding.
“Yeah. And then I got the job at Tilton and Radomski. I wanted a change, so I moved out here from Indy.”
“And you’re not seeing anyone?” She prods, just wanting to clarify for sure.
“No,” he assures her and she can practically hear the smile in his voice when he starts talking again. “Well, there is a blonde pain in the ass in this fiscal responsibility class that I’m teaching. She’s pretty cute. And she’s read a surprising number of political biographies.”
Leslie laughs, relief flowing throughout her body. “She sounds awesome.”
“She is…except her house is kind of terrifying.”
“It’s not that bad. I have a system,” Leslie insists, just as she pushes a box of old egg beaters sitting on the coffee table with her outstretched foot. “So, hey, here’s something I have to ask, your dog--”
“Champion?”
“Yeah. Did he only have three legs when you got him?”
Ben laughs and when he does, it definitely makes her wish he was sitting on her couch beside her rather than all the way over at his place. “Yes. I went to the shelter a couple of months after the break-up. I guess I was kind of lonely. I was going to get a cat or something, but I don’t know, how do you not adopt a three-legged dog?”
“God. That is so cute.”
“Oh yeah?”
Leslie can almost hear Ben’s smile through the phone.
During their discussion Leslie also learns that after six months, Ben is still slowly gaining Champion’s trust, and that he’s kind of unfulfilled and unhappy at his accounting job and wants to quit (too much estate planning and helping corporations find accounting loopholes, according to Ben), but his boss Barney Varmn seems so attached to him that Ben can never seem to bring himself to actually give notice.
Leslie bites her tongue to keep from telling Ben that she actually knows Barney-that he’s one of the Community Rec Center instructors.
Of course it’s the perfect segue into trying to explain to him again why community classes are so important, but it seems wrong to bring that up again when Ben is opening up to her about something personal. So she saves it.
She’ll just tell him the next time she sees him. Maybe right before she jumps his bones again? Before the pants come off? Yes, perfect.
“If you did quit, what would you do?”
“Okay, don’t laugh-”
“I’m not going to laugh,” Leslie assures him.
“Well, I have this idea for a brand-new gaming experience. I’ve been calling it the Cones of Dunshire and it’d be a multi-player, figurine-based, strategy fantasy game with two wizards, a Maverick, an arbiter, two warriors, a corporal, and a ledgerman-”
He’s still explaining everything when Leslie can’t help it--she giggles. A lot. He’s such a nerdy, smart, hot little hummingbird…who likes cone metaphors?
“You said you weren’t going to laugh,” Ben complains, sounding a little disappointed.
“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I…it’s…it sounds fun. A ledgerman, huh?”
“Well, I’ve also always wanted to learn claymation too.”
“Hmmmm.”
“Or, uh, maybe even teach full-time? I think this is going good,” Ben pauses. “Well, aside from the whole sleeping-with-a-student thing. But--”
“Do you know what I think?” She asks, hoping he’ll says yes because she really, really wants to tell him.
“What?”
Good enough. Leslie smiles. “You should definitely quit if you don’t love your job.”
“Really?” He sounds like that was an unexpected response.
“Yes. Jack London, Ben--you can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. You shouldn’t be working at an accounting firm if it doesn’t make you feel impassioned and inspired, and if you don’t feel like you’re working hard at work worth doing, alongside a team of people you love…well, you should do something else,” she says, thinking of her own treasured position at the Parks and Recreations department and the co-workers that she’s definitely come to love.
After a few seconds of silence, Leslie also thinks that maybe she’s done it again-scared another one off with her tenacity and exuberance. All she really knows about Ben is that he seems to startle easily, he likes numbers and ledgers, has a great butt, and he has a three-legged dog.
And also, that he kicks the covers off during the night.
Leslie tries to backpedal and adds, “Sorry. Maybe that was too strong. It’s just…I don’t know you that well of course, but for someone who ran and won a mayoral election at eighteen--”
“I was impeached in disgrace during my first year in office,” Ben reminds her.
“It doesn’t matter. You cared and you obviously thought you could make a difference and you tried. So, stop being an account if you don’t love it. Teach, or run for office again, learn claymation, or go make this Cones of Dumplings--”
“Dunshire.”
“Right. Do that.” What the hell? She might as well go for broke, Leslie thinks, before adding dramatically, “Jack London and I believe in you, Ben.”
There’s another short silence and she gets herself ready to hear about how she’s too bossy or too pushy or too overzealous, but Ben doesn’t use any of those familiar words.
Instead he surprises her and says, “Oh my god. You are so…I mean…fuuuck.” The last word it comes out as a slow, low exhale that makes her stomach flutter. “Leslie. I am so attracted to you right now.”
“Oh yeah?” She asks in a throaty, flirty voice…just like Ann taught her last year.
“Yeah. So, I know we shouldn’t socialize outside of class, but how unethical do you think it would be for me to tell you all about how much I really want to touch you and make you feel really, really good? How I wish I could be right inside all of that passion again. Right now while we’re on the phone?”
“I’d say that depends, Mr. Solo,” Leslie teases. “What are you wearing?”
* * * * *
“We really need to stop doing this, at least for the next week and a half,” Ben tells her groggily, as his fingers lightly skim across her bare hip.
Leslie smiles as she opens her eyes again and takes in the sight of Ben’s neat, sparse, and comfortable bedroom. It’s all clean lines and order, with a big bed and a soft plaid comforter. At six in the morning, she hadn’t really been sleeping anymore, just closing her eyes and waiting for him to wake up.
Okay, fine, so maybe she lightly kicked him, trying to hurry him up a little.
“Ending up in bed together while I’m taking your class?” She asks, while turning over on her side, careful to avoid breathing on him once they’re facing each other.
Yeah,“ Ben agrees, letting his hand wander down and over the top of her thigh. The sensation makes her feel a little goosebumpy, like she wants to jump on top of him and have Ben for breakfast.
"It’s like state government-mandated instruction with…benefits.”
Ben makes a face. “That does not sound very good.”
“Well, you know what I mean. And besides, we were consoling each other last night.”
Ben looks confused for a moment, before quickly adding. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean…god, it’s so sad. I can’t believe he’s gone. Are you, um, doing okay?”
She had called him in tears the night before, right after hearing about Li'l Sebastian’s passing from Ron. Thirty minutes later, Leslie was standing in his living room in her sneaking-around clothes, Ben hugging her tight, and assuring her that it was okay to cry.
After she’d managed to calm down a bit, they had spent a few minutes discussing their favorite memories of the little guy-Leslie told him all about the recent Harvest Festival and Ben said that not only had he attended the festival (she couldn’t help but wonder if their paths had ever crossed at the event?) but that he’d had a great time. He had also seemed really impressed that she and her team had organized the event, and insisted that Li'l Sebastian was definitely his favorite part.
In fact, Ben was so upset about the little horse, he seemed to have a hard time getting the words out.
Within the hour, they were in his bedroom.
This second time, they skipped the historical kissing, as well as Han and Abigail, and gotten right to the good part-doing it Li'l Sebastian-style as a fitting tribute, Ben deep inside her from behind.
“Well, he was really old,” she tells him, turning to give him a wide awake morning smile. “And now Li'l Sebastian is in heaven and doing the things he loved most, eating carrots and urinating freely.”
Ben nods next to her. “Yeah. He was…um…an inspiration.”
“Really? With the urinating and all?” Leslie asks, laughing lightly.
“Well,” Ben grins at her, “I too enjoy a good carrot.”
“Ew,” Leslie comments, sitting up in bed. She doesn’t bother to pull the sheet up as she sits with her back against his headboard. “This is a great apartment.”
“Huh?” Ben asks and when she looks at him, his eyes are very obviously not on her face but…a bit lower.
“Is this a problem for conversation?” She teases him, enjoying the way he blushes just a bit at getting caught staring at her boobs so obviously. It makes her feel sexy and powerful, and she definitely likes it.
“Well, it depends on how um, much attention you want me to devote to what you’re saying,” he smiles at her. “I’m sorry, but…they’re very nice. I like them a lot. And if they’re just there, I kind of want to look at them.”
“You’re talking about my shoulders, right?”
Ben laughs and being here with him, like this, she can’t believe she ever thought he was terrible or a jerk.
“Yes. Your shoulders. Here.” He pulls the comforter up and presses the material lightly against her breasts. “So, my apartment. Well, yeah, it’s very nice too. But, now that I’ve given notice at the accounting firm, thanks to you and our mutual friend Jack London, it’s not really practical stay here. Besides, my lease is up at the end of the month, so I didn’t renew.”
“You’re looking for a new place to live? Soon?” Leslie looks over at the corner of his bedroom, where he has an overnight bag set out. It looks like he’s even started to pack.
“Oh that?” Ben motions towards the bag. “Unrelated. My brother and his wife are having babies. Twins. And Champion and I are taking a road trip to Chicago when it happens. It could honestly be any time now. I need to be ready to leave when I get the call.”
“Wow,” Leslie comments. Two babies, she can’t even imagine what a handful that would be. Although…
“Yeah. Twins actually run in my family and-”
“You know, I’ve been told I have an industrial-sized oven. That I could go triplets right off the bat,” she blurts out. Crap on a tricycle. She didn’t scare him off last week with her enthusiasm for being inspired by work, but now she can watch him run over her impressive and ample uterus.
“Oh, alright,” Ben says, eyes wide. “Um-”
“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “No. That’s okay. Good to know. That is good to know. But, um, yeah. I am looking for a cheaper place to live until I know what I’m going to be doing. I’m trying to be…fiscally responsible.” He tells her with a smirk, her over-share seeming to already be forgotten.
But really? Fiscal-responsibility? Class talk while in bed? That’s definitely against the rules. Leslie leans over quickly and pulls his side of the covers back, startling Ben in the process.
“Hey. What’s happening?”
“Checking for pants. Nope, just what I thought,” she comments, admiring his definite lack of pants. “That’s a penis.”
“That is accurate,” Ben agrees, nodding.
“You know what they say, penis out, calculator not out.” When he still looks confused she adds, “Going commando? No Math-mando. If the one-eyed snake is awake, then-”
“Alright,” Ben laughs. “I get it. So, I am looking for a new place…just, um, because? So, can we uh…” he takes the covers from her and puts them back down, covering himself up, still clearly a bit flustered.
“But you’re staying in Pawnee, right?”
“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Why?”
“Because, I know just the place for you to live.”
“Really? Where?”
“My friends’ house. They're looking for a roommate,” she starts telling him and gets so excited that she lets the comforter fall down around her waist again. “April and Andy. She works in the Parks Department and is the most promising, gifted, beautiful government employee in the world and Andy also works in City Hall and gives great piggy-back rides. He’s also in the best band ever-Mouse Rat. Have you heard of them?”
“The band? Or your friends?”
“Oh, well, the band…or my friends,” Leslie confirms.
“Nope. Neither.”
“Well, you’ll love them. And-”
“But what about Champion? I need to move some place where I can have a dog.”
“Don’t worry, it’s perfect,” Leslie bounces up and down a little more in excitement, before adding, “focus Ben.”
“Sorry. I am paying one hundred percent attention.”
She’s pretty sure his attention is like sixty percent on her chest and forty percent on the words coming out of her mouth, but…she decides that she’s pretty okay with that.
“They love animals and it’s a house, so Champion will have a yard. Oh!” She bounces again, mainly because the expression he makes whenever she does is really, really cute-like a sexy, sleepy, aroused porcupine with his messy hair sticking up in all directions.
“It’s also only a few blocks from Ramsett Park so you can take Champion on walks. And not just a walk in any park. One of the best parks in the city, dare I say, all of Indiana. Probably the nation. A gem of a green space that is provided to the citizens of Pawnee by the local government, the Parks and Recreation Depart…” she stops talking when Ben pulls the covers all the way off her.
“Yep,” he nods. “Just as I suspected. No pants. In fact, if I am not mistaken, and I don’t think I am, that is definitely a pu…” he stops talking abruptly and studies her. “Vagina?”
It’s so easy to forget that they’ve only known each other about two and a half weeks and that this is only the second time they’ve slept together. They’re still learning what the other likes and doesn’t and Ben is obviously trying not to offend her. She should probably help him out.
Instead, Leslie says, “I prefer lady pocket,” and then has to use all her will power to keep from giggling. Somehow she manages to keep it together and it’s completely worth it for the utterly confused look on Ben’s face.
“Seriously? Like a…calzone?”
“Ugh. No, Ben. I’m just kidding! Besides, a calzone? No one like calzones. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat,” Leslie insists with a shudder, taking the covers from him. Ben, of course, is grinning all smugly and looks like he’s about to disagree, but before he can, she adds, “But, you’re right, I’m not wearing pants, so I will just say that you should move in with my friends because it’s near a really great place…with trees.”
“Do you have-”
“Yeah,” Leslie quickly leans over the side of the bed to grab her bag and as she does, she can feel Ben’s hand gripping her hip, probably to keep her from tumbling off the bed. It’s sweet. And yeah, he sort of squeezes her ass a little, but that’s definitely more than okay too.
When she returns she has her planner. Leslie pulls one of her business cards from the little compartment and grabs her pen from the elastic holder. “I’m going to give you one of my cards, but I’m going to write down April’s…well, actually, I think I’ll give you the phone number to the shoe polishing stand. You should talk to Andy first,” she says as she carefully writes out the number and correct extension and hands it to him.
“Andy Dwyer,” Ben reads out loud.
“Yeah. Your new roommate. Call him. Today.”
“Alright, Leslie. I will.” He smiles at her.
“Good. Ben,” she says his name slowly, unable to keep from grinning back. “Hey, you know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think Li'l Sebastian would want us to make out with each other, and then probably make pancakes.”
Ben studies her for a second and then moves closer, finally reaching out to touch her exposed skin. “I think you’re probably right about that.”
* * * * *
Of course, it's a little disappointing, Leslie thinks walking down the hallway at Pawnee Community College, knowing that as soon as this last class is over, that Ben is going to go drive off to Chicago with Champion for who knows how long.
How long does it usually take to meet a couple of babies? It's not like they can do much besides cry, eat, and poop.
No, she tells herself, no, of course Ben should go be an uncle--Uncle Ben. Leslie giggles at that.
Besides, the two of them were going to need to find a way to keep their hands off each other for a few days anyway, just so it didn't look too obvious, so this birth of his brother's twins is fairly convenient.
When Leslie gets to the classroom a few minutes early, Ben is at the desk in front and organizing test booklets, looking like a hot, sexy professor. God, yeah. And after this class is over, they're totally going to have to roleplay something like that. Mmmmmm...professor hot butt and she can be a naughty student. Oh! Or maybe she's the strict principal and he's the new teacher? So many possibilities.
"Hey," she tells him, trying to get her mind out of the gutter and into the mode to ace this test.
Ben looks up and grins as soon as he sees her. A big, wide flirty smile that makes the pit of her stomach flutter regardless of how much she tells herself to reign it in.
"Oh, hi, Ms. Knope. It's nice to see you tonight."
She smiles back and hands him a bag. "I brought you an apple. You know, for being a great teacher."
"Really?" He asks, looking surprised and pleased. "Thank you. But...I thought no one liked my class."
Now Ben is clearly messing with her, throwing her own words after the first class back at her. Jerk.
Sexy, teasing, jerk.
She smiles. "I may have been exaggerating just a tiny bit."
"Oh, alright. Well, I appreciate the apple, then."
Leslie looks around the still empty classroom. Since they're still alone, she leans in and tells him, "It's not really an apple, I made you cookies and also some dog biscuits for Champion. For your trip."
Ben smiles at her, then down at the paper bag in his hands. He sets it on the desk. "That's really sweet. I'm sure we'll enjoy them."
"The cookies are chocolate chip and the biscuits don't have anything gross in them, so if you accidentally eat one of those, it should be okay. But the cookies are much better."
"Cookies for me, biscuits for Champion. Got it," he tells her, as students start coming in. Then he doesn't say anything else, just kind of smiles and blushes at her in a way that makes Leslie want to jump on him and climb him like a tree--a wise, coy, sexy oak tree in a cute brown cardigan.
Instead, she nods. "And you'd be really good at teaching...Mr. Wyatt. For real. If you wanted to do that. You'd be good at a lot of things," Leslie moves closer and says softer, "You are good at a lot of things."
"Well, Ms. Knope...you are very passionate and spirited. And I'm sure you'll also be great at whatever you get your little paws...um, fingers on."
Leslie laughs. "Well, I'm going to take my little paws and go get in my seat now."
And then she kind of walks backwards, grinning at him until she bumps into her desk. When she finally gets settled and gets her pen out in preparation for the test, she looks up again and sees Chris now also standing in front, right along with Ben.
"Hi class. Let's get started. I'm sure you all know Chris Traeger, Pawnee's City Manager?" Ben asks everyone as Chris smiles and waves. "Well, he's going to sit in for me tonight and collect the tests at the end of the session. I have a family situation and need to leave class early."
"Exactly. I'm just going to sit here and be so, so proud of all of you. Just bask in the glow of your new-found knowledge of Fiscal Responsibility," Chris says enthusiastically.
"Right...so, Chris has an express mail envelope that he'll be dropping off after class, so your tests should be in Indianapolis by Monday morning first thing and the grades will be available by 5PM that afternoon. If you get at least and eighty percent on the test you'll get a certificate saying that you passed the course. And if you don't, you or a different department representative will need to take and pass this course the next time it's offered. I believe that's August in..." Ben riffles through some papers. "Snerling."
"Oh, Snerling," Chris says, enthusiastically. "I'm sure that will affect no one here, but if so, Snerling has a great health food store--Grain and Simple. If you go, tell them Chris says Hi!"
"Well, I'm sure you'll all do great," Ben tells the classroom, while handing out all the test booklets. He sits up front for a few minutes, just to make sure everyone is doing okay with their tests and then he grabs his briefcase and the bag of cookies and dog treats, and heads towards the door.
Leslie watches his cute little butt until it disappears into the hallway. And then she turns her attention back to her test booklet and begins to kick a little fiscal responsibility ass.
* * * * *
She gets a text from Ben late Thursday night, after she gets home from Ann's house after the class, letting her know that he got to his brother's alright and that he officially has two nieces--Chloe and Frances. And also that both he and Champion enjoyed the cookies and biscuits.
Friday morning, she even gets a photo of Ben holding a tiny baby in a hospital room. When she texts back and asks which one it is, he tells her that he's not really sure, but that they're both very small and wrinkly (but cute!) and that the twins look completely alike. And although Leslie and Ben text and email a couple of times over the next few days, she doesn't actually talk to him on the phone until Monday night.
"I told you I would have no problem passing the test," she says, smiling as she sits on her couch, a plate of celebratory brownies in front of her.
"Yeah, well, you certainly passed it. I mean, you got a hundred percent Leslie. You didn't miss any of the questions. It was the highest score in the class."
"You sound surprised?" Leslie asks.
"Well, no. Maybe? I thought you didn't believe in any of the fascist hard-ass points I was making and then you got a perfect score."
"Oh, I still don't think you're right. But I'm excellent at taking tests."
Ben laughs, warm and happy in her ear. "Okay."
"But...I maybe see the benefit to keeping the department budget under control, and this weekend I may have come up with a plan that reduces the overall Parks and Recreation department's budget by twenty percent."
"You did that? Seriously?" He sounds surprised again. "Because of the class?"
"Seriously," Leslie confirms. "Because of you and the class. And I'd actually appreciate it if you could take a look at it. Maybe when you get back into town?"
"I could do that. I'd be happy to do that. And, I'm actually driving back tomorrow. I was thinking we could have dinner? Kind of go out officially now that we don't have to sneak around while having an illicit student-teacher relationship."
"But I liked sneaking around while having an illicit student-teacher relationship."
She hears him laugh.
"Yeah, Yeah. But...that was a disaster waiting to happen. Neither of us are that good at it. Plus, it honestly made me feel a little unethical and pervy. But now? We can just be pervy, but also one-hundred percent ethical."
"Yay!" Leslie says enthusiastically but then remembers that tomorrow is the first night of her soup-making class. And for how much she enjoys arguing with Ben over the importance of the community center classes, she kind of wants to start fresh when they do this thing for real.
"Oh, wait, no. Sorry, I want to be pervy with you, but I actually have plans tomorrow. A plan. It's nothing, I mean, it's not a date or anything, with someone, just a prior engagement. A commitment. Just...how about the next night. Wednesday?"
There's a pause. "Oh, Wednesday works. I mean, if you can't do Tuesday," he tells her, sounding a little disappointed.
"I want to," she repeats, "but I have a thing. It's...well, it's just a thing. No big deal. But hey, we still have to come up with a good story of how we met anyway."
"Um. You were in my class?"
"No. No. I mean, yes. I know that. But how we re-met," she tells him. "Maybe we unexpectedly ran into each other, somewhere cute, and then started dating."
"Like at the store?"
"Too boring," Leslie says.
Ben laughs. "But that was our actual situation. You tried to hide behind a box of cereal at the grocery store and then we went to a gay bar and you got me drunk and then seduced me with your blow job swilling and political kissing."
"No, you seduced me with your cute butt, coy demeanor, and grumpy fiscal responsibility."
"You seduced and inspired me with Jack London-talk and your Theodore Roosevelt biography," Ben says.
"See, that's what I mean. That sounds weird. We really need to come up with a better story, Ben. Plus, it has to be something that we can tell Chris that is completely ethical, but is also super adorable. Maybe it's that you ran into Andy at the store, decided to move in with them, and then I met you over there?"
"Maybe," Ben responds, but he really doesn't sound convinced. "Oh, and by the way, on that topic? Your friends are insane. But they seem to really like Champion already, so I think it'll work out." Ben pauses, the adds. "But they are seriously crazy."
"But you're still moving in, right?"
"Yeah. Next week."
"Good. Oh! I know! How about this--I entered a radio contest during Crazy Ira and the Douche and you entered the same one, and we both won in a tie and had to split the prize--a trip to Belize. No, we met there on the beach. No--we met in the ocean. I got a cramp in my side as I swam by and you rescued me."
There's a pause, before he asks, "Like in the movie Grease?"
She doesn't have to be looking at him to know that Ben is making his adorable confused face.
"Yeah, but in Belize," she confirms. "It's not like we need to come up with songs. Oh, but if we did, that would be so awesome!"
"I don't know. Maybe we should pick something a little simpler. But, at least we have a couple of days to think about it," Ben adds.
* * * * *
When she gets to the classroom at Pawnee High School Tuesday night, the instructor is at the board, writing out:
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN'T MAKE A GOOD SOUP?
"Oh, Leslie. Hi."
"Hi Tanya," she returns. Great, Leslie thinks, she's probably going to try and sneak a salad recipe into the soup-making lessons.
"Take a seat anywhere on this side. We're going to have a brief lecture...you know, going over kitchen safety and basics like, what is a vegetable? over here, and then we'll head over to the kitchen area and get cooking."
"Sounds good," she agrees, taking a seat.
A lecture on vegetables? Maybe she should have just gone out with Ben tonight.
Leslie's deep in thought over the choices she's made, when she realizes that someone is standing next to her. Someone in tan pants and a nice butt and...
"Is this seat taken?"
"Ben."
"Ms. Knope, hi. Wow, this is such a surprise, running into you."
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I don't know, I was browsing through the Parks Department catalog of community rec center classes and this fun-sounding, yet fairly unnecessary soup-making class caught my attention. Imagine my surprise when I noticed it started tonight."
Leslie laughs, and then makes a serious face, playing along with the Ben's planned serendipity. "Yes. Mr. Wyatt. I remember you. I was in your Fiscal Responsibility class last week," she says loudly, so most of the other students can hear her.
Ben smiles at her, nods his head. "You were. What a funny coincidence that we're now both taking this class."
"Yes, the class that I insisted had a great deal of value to the community. It's so nice that you've realized that I was right," she smirks at him while Ben rolls his eyes, and mouths the words damn pants at her.
Then for good measure, Leslie adds, "Where absolutely no one has any kind of supervisory-type role over the other."
When he finally sits down next to her, Ben leans in and says quietly, "So, when I figured out this must be what your prior engagement tonight probably was, I thought you might appreciate us re-meeting here. Besides, I was hoping to sit next to a girl that would let me practice my French kissing skills on her later. I hear these classes are good for that sort of thing."
Leslie grins. "Oh, I think that can be arranged. But what happened to, uh, people should go buy a cookbook?" She teases.
"All of mine are packed up," Ben cracks back.
Before she can respond, Tanya turns around to address the class.
"Hi and welcome to So You Think You Can't Make a Good Soup, a four-week course on how to create simple yet elegant soups at home. Anyone can make a good soup--you just need the right ingredients and a little know-how. Over the next month, this class will be making a gazpacho, a clam chowder, chicken noodle soup, and a borscht. We'll even talk about salad accompaniments."
Leslie groans.
"But tonight," Tanya continues, and then pauses to turn around and write on the board again. "We'll be making....turkey chili. The person sitting next to you will be your cooking partner when we head over to the class kitchen."
"Mmmmmm," Leslie says, raising her eyebrow in interest at the sexiness of the evening's soup and then touching Ben's knee under the table. "Turkey chili."
* * * THE END * * *