May Drabbles
Pairing: Leslie/Ben
Rating: G through NC-17
Timeline: All over the place.
Summary: 1. Root canal, 2. Ben having a stress-related issue, 3. dognapping, 4. Darlene Johannsen and her assistant-turned-lover, Gregory Strong, 5. walked in on by the kids, 6. a secret, 7. Encounter at the Whiz Palace, 8. laundry room, 9. You need to wake up, 10. maple seeds, 11. naked in bed (This is How Eleanor Roosevelt Would Kiss), 12. Mother's Day 2019, 13. cookie time, 14. The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic Pre-Game.
1: “Come over here and make me.”
“Come over here and make me,” she tells him, without too much trouble, standing defiantly on the poofy white chair in the corner of their Pawnee bedroom.
He had managed to get her pants off and her shirt mostly unbuttoned before she decided to start laughing and run away, and she’s still a long way from being under the covers and safely asleep.
“Leslie,” Ben sighs. “Seriously? Honey, just get in the bed and lay down. You must be getting tired. I’ll tuck you in.”
“I don’t want to,” she responds and then, actually…sticks her tongue out at him? Well, she tries to stick her tongue out at him.
For a brief second, he feels kind of guilty for how he must have acted those two days he was drugged out of his mind on morphine when he had kidney stones and she had to drive them back to Indiana, because Leslie after a root canal is an absolute handful.
An adorable, drugged out, wide awake, nonsensical handful.
And really, why isn’t she tired? Shouldn’t the drugs be knocking her out?
“Babe,” he tries to reason, taking a step closer with his hands out towards her, “if you get in bed and lay down, I’ll bring you a prize.” Ben figures bribery works on their five-year olds sometimes, why not his forty-five year old wife.
“What kind?”
“What kind do you want?”
“A sexy prize.” Although it comes out more like a thexy pwize.
He makes a face. “Alright. I was thinking maybe a crossword puzzle book or something, but what-”
“You’re the best husband,” she says suddenly, staring blankly at him. “A sexy, smart, walking stick congressman with tight little buns and a heart of golden candycorn.”
“Thanks?”
“And a penis of iron.
“Sure,” Ben agrees, holding his hand out closer to her. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”
“What’s your favorite Friend?”
“What?”
“Wrong!” Leslie yells out. “It’s Phoebe. She had triplets too.”
“Right. Sorry. Come on. I can put in a Friends DVD for you. But you have to get into bed and watch it.”
“And I get a crossword funzle?”
“Yes,” Ben tells her, as she finally takes his hand and lets him lead her to the bed. She sits down on the edge and he manages to pull her socks off while she plays with his hair.
He decides to not even attempt to get her into pajamas. Her underwear and shirt are good enough.
“And the iron penis throne?”
“Well,” Ben says, then waits a beat, “let’s see how you do with the crosswords first.”
When he finally gets her under the sheet and comforter, both pulled up to just under her chin, he gives her a kiss on the forehead. “How are you doing?”
“I should really start flossing,” she tells him, right before closing her eyes and passing out.
2. Ben's having some - er - problems and is about to go into all out human disaster mode
“I…oh…no.”
She hears Ben at the same time that she feels him, feels him slipping out behind her and moaning in frustration as he eventually rests his head against her shoulder.
They’re on their sides so she cant exactly see him, but she’s pretty sure he’s not at all pleased with this unexpected turn of events.
“Babe?”
“Oh my god. I just…it starting going away and then it…what happened? I-”
“It’s okay,” Leslie says, turning around to face him.
“No. It’s not. I mean. Oh…my…god. Where did it go? Why-”
“You’ve been really stressed out lately,” she tells him softly.
And he has been wound so tight lately, more so than normal even.
He’s been struggling with a house vote that the majority of his district in Pawnee is against but that he knows is the right decision. It’s been weighing him down and after her own soda tax issue way back when she was on the City Council, Leslie really does understand.
“But this was helping with the stress. It was helping. But now…this is not helping at all.”
Of course, she also knows exactly how it feels to have a town (or at least most of it) hate you for wanting to vote your conscience.
Although, Leslie doesn’t exactly know how it feels to lose an erection in the middle of boning. Well, and not be on the receiving end of it-she now has that experience covered.
When she looks at Ben again, he still seems kind of shocked. And worried. And it makes her feel horrible for him-this really isn’t a big deal. She just wants Ben to feel better and know it’s going to be okay.
She loves all of him…not just his dick.
“Look, you’re over forty, overly stressed, and-”
“No. No. That’s not helping either,” Ben looks down at his penis, before demanding, “Why aren’t you working?”
They both look down at it. Unfortunately, Ben’s penis is not answering.
“Honey. Look. We can-”
“Please don’t say cuddle,” Ben says, hiding his eyes behind his arm. “Oh my god, don’t say cuddle.”
“Muddle…some limes and mint and make mojitos?” Leslie finishes.
Ben uncovers his face and stares at her before he almost kind of laughs, which eventually turns into a small smile. He sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
He gestures to his lap, eyes wide.
“This sort of thing happens. This is the first time it’s happened to us, but it’s normal. Hey, do you want me to call Ann to ask and just make sure?” She stretches towards her phone, but Ben reaches out and grabs her hand quickly before she can pick it up from the bedside table.
“God. No. Please don’t. Um. We don’t need to do that. I’m sure it’s stress-related.”
“Okay.”
“Wait. Why aren’t you more upset about this?” He asks, sitting up next to her.
“Well, it’s not like I wasn’t enjoying it, because I definitely was,” she tells him. “But I really don’t think this is anything other than a weird, one time thing. I bet as soon as the vote is over Friday, you’ll be fine. I mean, he does a great job normally. A lot of dedicated, hard work…” Leslie leans down so she’s eye-level and addresses his penis directly. “Hi there. I think we can give you a break this one time. I still love you and I understand. Feel better.”
Then she leans in further and gives it a little kiss. “Hey, do you think it would help if I-”
“No,” Ben sighs. “I think that ship has sailed.”
“The U.S.S Boner?”
“Yeah,” Ben agrees, laughing just a little. “You’re a goofball and I love you too,” he says and it looks like he’s feeling a little better. “Alright, I lied. I would actually like to cuddle.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Why don’t we put pajamas on, go peek in on the kids, and then come back here and watch a movie.”
“A Hard Day’s Night?” Leslie asks, trying not to giggle.
“No.”
“Up?”
“Alright, cool it,” he tells her. “That is not-”
“How to Train Your Dragon? Oh, what about-”
Ben’s pillow hits Leslie on the side of the head before she can even finish her next suggestion, and then he’s is holding her down and tickling her until she’s laughing and trying to wiggle away.
3: “Please, don’t leave.”
“Okay, what’s going on in here?” Ben asks, opening the door and sticking his head into the triplet’s bedroom.
It had been a mostly quiet, late Sunday morning, post-pancakes, but then there were a high number of happy screams and giggles that had alerted both Ben and Leslie out in the living room, that something was probably up.
And then Ben had lost the coin toss as Leslie had grinned and called him a sucker.
“Nothing daddy!” Sonia replies quickly, running over to him and hugging him around the legs. “We’re playing!”
“Yeah!” Stephen adds, smiling innocently at his father. “Just playing.”
Ben frowns as he looks around the room. There’s a little table set up with all their stuffed animals, big colorful legos, and little tea cups. And…he counts one, two triplets.
“Where’s your brother? Did he get outside again?”
“Who?” Sonia asks sweetly, looking up at Ben with her big, adorable, five-year old eyes.
“Alright. What have you two done? And you know who Wesley is, so don’t even try that.”
Just then there’s a squeal from under one of the beds and the next door neighbor’s dog, Brisket comes happily running out, followed by a still giggling Wesley.
“He was licking my nose!” The little boy announces.
“Guys, you can’t keep borrowing,” Ben air-quotes that word, “the dog and bringing it over here. No pets,” Ben tells his kids, bending over to pick the small animal up.
“Brisket’s not a pet, she’s our neighbor,” Sonia tells him.
“We were being friendly! Brisket came by for tea,” Wes adds.
“And cake. Daddy, do we have some cake for our guest?” Stephen asks with a surprisingly serious tone for the current situation.
“No,” Ben says slowly. “We’re not feeding a dog cake. And Brisket is going home now.”
“I named him Turnip,” Wesley says. “I think he likes that name better.”
Soon, all three kids are chanting, “Tur-nip. Tur-nip. Tur-nip.”
Ben shakes his head. “Nope. Not happening. Brisket is going back home,” he pauses and then adds, “And no more dognapping. I’m serious.”
“No!” Sonia yells out. “Brisket! Please, don’t leave.”
“Honey-”
Just as he’s about to patiently explain one more time why they just can’t handle a dog right now, Leslie walks up next to him and takes their furry, tail-wagging neighbor off his hands. They share a small smile and he knows she’s doing it so that Ben doesn’t have to be the bad guy-something they try to switch off while parenting.
He’s not even sure if it’s her turn, but he definitely appreciates the gesture. He’s making dinner tonight and they’re having broccoli along with the chicken, so that’s definitely going to put him in unpopular territory-with everyone.
“I’ll take her home. Because she needs to go home now. Brisket has an important meeting…with the cat across the street,” Leslie tells the triplets, before leaning in and whispering to Ben, “Well, at least it’s not 32 cats and dogs.”
As soon as Leslie and Brisket leave the room, Ben watches as his daughter’s face scrunches up like she’s going to cry. The boys seem okay with the turn of events but Sonia, probably the mastermind of the heist and the biggest, we-need-a-dog advocate, is definitely not okay.
“Mommy’s mean!” She even accents this outburst with a little stomp of her foot and an incredibly expressive, this isn’t fair! face that reminds him so much of Leslie that he has to hide a smile.
“Come here,” he says gently, as Ben leads Sonia over to one of the beds and they sit down. “She’s not mean. We just can’t have a dog right now. That’s both mine and mommy’s decision.”
“But why?” She asks, right before the tears start.
Ben pulls Sonia against him as she cries, strokes her hair. “Because we can’t. But I promise, we’ll talk about it next year. After you start first grade.”
He looks around the room as Sonia’s sobs start to quiet down and it’s just then that he notices a smell. A really, really bad smell coming from the direction of the closet.
“Um, how long was Brisket in your room?”
“Since last night!” Stephen tells his father cheerfully. “We had a slumber party!”
4: “YOU DID WHAT?!”
“Acorn. Acorn!”
As soon as Ben says it the first time, she stops immediately and instead of spanking his perfect flat butt again, she rests her palm against the slightly pink skin, where it’s just starting to feel a little warm. She rubs the area gently before bending down and giving his skin a little kiss.
“Oh, babe. Seriously? I was just getting into it,” Leslie teases, but she’s actually surprised that he let her do this as long as he did.
“I, uh..well, it started to hurt?”
“It’s supposed to hurt a little. I’m punishing my assistant for losing my award-winning architectural designs. This is my stern reminder to be more careful at work, Gregory.”
Since the kids are at her mom’s, after they had picked out appropriate attire and cover stories for their visit to Gryzzl, Leslie had suggested a little roleplay just to make sure they were comfortable with their new alter-egos, Darlene Johannsen and her assistant-turned-lover, Gregory Strong.
It had started with Leslie’s well-acted “YOU DID WHAT?!” and eventually led to a clearly startled but willing-to-go-with-it Gregory, bent over her desk to be disciplined for his carelessness.
Ben laughs. “Yeah, I know. But…maybe women are just better at tolerating pain?”
She laughs at his joke, but lightly slaps him one more time.
“Hey! I said acorn!”
“Yeah, I know. But that wasn’t part of a sexy roleplay thing, that was just me spanking your cute little butt for the sexist comment.” She gropes him a little more and then starts pulling his purple cardigan and shirt up in back, giving Ben little kisses along his spine.
“Alright. Point taken. Hey. Here’s an idea-can we have sex now? We only have an hour before we have to be at Gryzzl,” he suggests, already starting to stand up and turn around to face her, a grin on his face.
“Oh…yeah. Come on, let’s do this,” she says, not even bothering to remove the glasses or beret, as Ben maneuvers them around so she’s the one against the desk.
5. Anonymous asked: Prompt: Leslie giving Ben a blowjob on the couch and their kids walk in
“Oh god.”
She hears his words but it doesn’t really surprise her, because it’s hardly strange for Ben to mutter that phrase when he’s deep in her mouth.
“Oh god, oh god,” he says again and there’s an out of the ordinary, panicked edge to his voice that concerns her, so she’s just about to stop when Ben tugs on her hair much harder than normal and she knows something is really wrong. It’s just all happening so fast.
One minute they were giggling on the couch late at night, the next she’s sliding down to the floor in front of him and unzipping his pants.
But now, all of a sudden, Ben is clearly aware of some troubling turn of events that she is not.
If they were in Pawnee, she’d think that maybe another raccoon had gotten into the house, but so far their DC place has been pretty wildlife-proof.
It’s just when Leslie pulls back and looks up at him, as Ben quickly grabs a couch pillow and shoves it in front of his open pants, that she finally seems to get that he’s in full-on and complete, flustered crisis-mode.
“Daddy?”
Her eyes widen and now Leslie’s in crisis-mode too as she turns towards the voice on the stairs and sees one of their sons standing there in his little plaid pajamas, with his adorable, five-year old messy bed head.
“Oh…buddy. Hi. Hi there. What’s, uh, hi. You are, uh, we were-” Ben starts stammering out a string of words.
“Woke up and I can’t find my glasses,” the little boy answers, saving his father from probably saying something ridiculous due to the lack of blood in his brain.
Leslie closes her eyes and releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding, while Ben quickly adds a quiet, “Oh, thank god,” to the moment.
“Mommy! Were you hiding?” Wesley asks, surprised and excited to finally see her as he starts to come down the stairs quickly but with obvious care.
“Oh, daddy and I were playing a game…” she says, trying to think of what made up game could possible involve her having Ben’s penis in her mouth, when Leslie notices her husband’s incredulous expression so she quickly changes her story to, “I just dropped my…monocle, um, earring on the floor. I was looking for it. It’s okay. I can help you find your glasses, honey. Stay there, I don’t want you to trip if you can’t see.”
“I can see!” He insists, but even so, he stops where he is on the third step from the bottom.
Ben laughs nervously and holds up his right hand, two fingers pointing up.
“How many fingers?”
“Five!”
“Nope,” Ben answers with obvious relief and then holds his hand out for Leslie to grab onto as she stands up. He softly runs his fingers along her palm as they share a smile.
“Come on, my near-sighted little waffle cone,” Leslie tells her son, walking towards the stairs and finally taking his small hand in hers. “Let’s go find your glasses and get you all tucked back into bed.”
6: Tell Me a Secret
“Tell me a secret,” Leslie demands, curling up on her side and facing Ben’s side of the bed. He glances at the clock-just past midnight.
“Like what?”
“Like a secret, Ben. Something that I don’t know.”
He looks at her and closes his book, puts it on his bedside table. “A big secret or a little secret?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
It’s not like they really keep secrets from each other, but he does have a few.
He could tell her that when they were broken up last year, that there was one night, that night he had left the public forum for the Smallest Park, and had been so frustrated with her, that he had started packing. Ben just wanted to get in his car and leave Pawnee forever (he didn’t though-he took a bath instead, at least until April broke the lock on the door and shot at him with the marshmallow gun).
Not really a secret but an observation? Wet marshmallows are incredibly gross.
He could tell Leslie that he’d hid her Bangles CD (and the file folder with the mp3s) last month because he just couldn’t bear to listen to Walk Like an Egyptian one more time, no matter how much he loves her.
Finally, Ben decides to tell her this. “I’m the one that ate the last chocolate chip cookie the other day. After your campaign volunteer meeting? I blamed it on Andy, but it was really me.”
The face she makes isn’t exactly angry, but it is surprised…rage?
Uh-oh, maybe this was a mistake, he thinks. But then her features soften a little and Leslie rolls up close to him and kind of pins him down to the bed, pressing against him in all the right places.
“You are in so much trouble.”
Ben smiles. That’s kind of what he was hoping she’d say.
7. Anonymous asked: leslie/ben, “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
Title: Encounter at the Whiz Palace
The first thing Leslie becomes aware of, is that the room she’s currently in, is dark and unfamiliar.
The second thing, is that she’s no longer in Chris’s guest bedroom at all but, as her eyes slowly adjust to the slight amount of light coming from the low glow of a healing crystal-fronted nightlight, that she’s in his bathroom.
Finally, as everything comes slowly and clearly into focus all the way, she becomes very, very aware that she is sitting on someone and that her black sweatpants and panties are pulled down to just past her knees.
“Oh my god.” And although she meant it in a rhetorical-fashion, there’s definitely a reply.
“Um, hi.”
Leslie’s certainly relieved that it’s not Chris, but also slightly horrified that it’s Ben.
“Ben? What…oh my god.”
“Is it possible that you sleepwalk?”
Before answering him, she reaches behind and feels out the situation-mainly that Ben still has Chris’s tight biking pants on and that the toilet lid is closed.
Well that’s weird.
“Were you just sitting in here in the dark?” She asks, puzzling over the current turn of events.
“I had to pee and then afterwards I didn’t really want to go back out there, so I decided to stay in here and just think about some…okay, wait. I’m not quite sure why I’m the one who has to explain myself here.”
“Well, you’re-”
“Leslie, you’re being very judgmental for someone who’s currently sitting on someone else, with their pants pulled down.”
Since she’s not quite looking at him, Leslie can’t tell for sure if he’s annoyed or maybe mad but really, his tone sounds mostly amused, if anything.
“Yeah, okay,” she agrees because what else is there to really say since he does have a valid point.
She makes no effort to get up and off Ben and he seems pretty okay that she’s still sitting on him. In fact, his arm comes up around her and rests against her stomach and she leans her head back just a bit, so it’s resting lightly on his shoulder.
Just like it’s the most natural thing in the whole world. Yep.
“Do you actually have to-”
“Oh. No. I’m good,” she tells him. She doesn’t have to use the bathroom at all, this was just some strange middle of the night, pulling-pants-down situation apparently.
At least she’s not on TV this time.
Leslie can hear Ben breathing behind her and she’s also definitely hyper-aware of her current pants-less situation. And also of how warm and solid he feels underneath her, how the stretchy material covering his thighs makes her acutely aware of his legs as they strain beneath her.
She’s also incredibly aware of how Ben’s hand is now lightly touching her bare hip just below the hem of her red t-shirt, his thumb rubbing back and forth over a small patch of skin. It makes her shiver.
“I think we have two choices here,” he tells her after a few seconds. His voice is all low and soft and fuck, she’s getting really turned on, her stomach fluttering as he talks in his slow, deliberate tone.
“Okay.”
“I could close my eyes and you could get up and get everything…back on and go back to the guest room and we’ll just pretend this never happened.”
“We could do that. Should do that one,” she corrects. “But just out of curiosity, what do you think the other option is?”
“We could stay like this for a few more minutes and I could touch you. Um, since you already have your pants-”
“Oh. I really want to do the second one.”
“Yeah, me too,” Ben answers, as he spreads his legs and in doing so, her own knees open up more for him.
He cups her mound and then slowly slides his hand between her thighs. His fingers are soft but eagerly seeking her out, parting her folds, sliding around where she’s already getting so wet. When he touches her clit she gasps and quickly purses her lips together, which is very useful for the whole quiet thing they’re going for, because when Ben’s lips find the side of her neck and he kisses and then sucks at her skin, she wants to scream.
His hand works against her, fingers holding her open, rubbing, flicking, and sliding inside, building up a pattern that quickly takes over her whole body, from the tips of her toes to her eyes, as they snap shut.
Between grinding into his fingers, the feel of his mouth on her skin, and his growing erection against her lower back, she comes quickly, in quiet little pants and gasps.
Honestly, Leslie’s a little surprised that she had an orgasm at all, considering the strangeness of the current situation and also since it usually takes her a couple of times to relax enough with someone new. But at the same time, it hardly seems odd at all-of course Ben can do this to her right out of the gate.
Just like, of course he likes the wildflower mural at City Hall, and of course she sleepwalked into the bathroom this evening and sat right down in his lap.
When Leslie reaches behind her, Ben is definitely hard but he’s also still very much securely inside Chris’s tight biking pants. She tries to get her hand in underneath to return the favor, but the pants are just really stupid and form-fitting and she doesn’t want to accidentally hurt him or pinch anything while trying to get her palm on his dick.
“Oh my god,” Ben says finally, sounding a little desperate now. “Chris’s bike pants are like a fucking chastity belt. He’s actually trying to kill me on this trip and I’m going to die and-”
“If you die, I’m going to kill you. Just help me get them down a little,” she whispers back.
Sure, she could turn around and it would all be much easier, she could see what she was doing but if she did that, she could also sink right down on Ben and ride him on Chris’s stupid toilet seat and for some reason, fucking Ben in Chris’s bathroom seems much, much worse than just getting each other off in his bathroom.
Besides, it doesn’t really count if they’re not actually looking at each other right? If she can’t see Ben, who is of course, technically still her boss, how does she know that it’s actually his cock she’s going to be touching?
Wait…that sounds kind of bad too, just in a different way.
It’s just that, they’re doing really intimate things to each other but they haven’t even kissed yet, and they’re not even looking at each other, but she knows it’s Ben and he knows it’s her and it’s all so sexy that she kind of has to stop herself from moaning again.
But then Leslie can’t give any of that much more thought because he finally gets those super annoying, borrowed pants pushed down enough for her to grasp him in her hand.
They both groan in relief.
There’s an added level of challenge since she still can’s see what she’s doing, but his hand is guiding hers over the velvety hardness of his length and when her shirt gets pushed up a bit in back, the head of his cock brushes against her arched back every so often.
His grip around her waist tightens and eventually she feels, rather than hears Ben orgasm behind her.
Neither of them move or talk for for a few seconds.
“Oh fuck, I got it all over these stupid pants. And oh, your back too. God, I’m sorry. I’ll help you clean that off.“
And that’s when Leslie can’t hold in the ridiculousness of the situation any longer. Here she is, she’s sitting on Ben’s lap and she’s got his come on her back and they both have their pants pulled down, sitting on a closed toilet seat in a peaceful, Zen-inspired bathroom-all while Chris is sleeping just a few feet away.
If she got reprimanded for kissing Tom in the hallway at City Hall, Leslie doesn’t even want to think about what will happen if Chris walks in on her giving the Assistant City Manager a backwards hand job in his bathroom.
All of that collides along with her giddiness and happiness that it’s not just her, as well as her post-orgasm high and Leslie start giggling. Loudly.
“Shhhh,” Ben tells her, as his hand leaves her side and quickly comes up around her mouth loosely, trying to keep her from alerting Chris to the current situation. “Shhhh, Leslie. We need to be quiet. This looks really bad.”
But then as soon as he says that, she hears a snort from behind her and apparently Ben can’t help laughing either.
8. PROMPT! “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
“Is there a reason you’re hiding down here half-naked in the laundry room?” Ben asks, after walking down the stairs to the basement and seeing Leslie leaning against the dryer, with her pants pulled down to mid-hip and her hand in her underwear.
She looks a little startled at his sudden appearance, but otherwise happy to see him.
“Um. Well. I was going to put the clothes in the dryer.”
Ben gets an amused look on his face as he continues to watch her. It seems like she’s stopped moving her fingers but has made no attempt to pull her hand away.
“And how is that going?”
Before she can answer there’s a crash from upstairs and they hear Roz yell out, “It’s okay! It’s fine! Nothing broke!”
“Well, it was…going. And then I got distracted.”
“I can see that.”
He walks closer, close enough to put his hand on her hip and smell the dryer sheets from where the box is open on the shelf behind her. Slowly, he slides his palm to the front and then down and into Leslie’s underwear and beneath her own fingers.
Ben’s eyes widen in surprise at how incredibly wet she is. “Wow, what is going on down here?”
Leslie laughs. “I was just thinking about how you’re going to win and then in addition to being the sexiest husband in the history of the world, you’ll also be this super hot congressman that I’m married to.”
“Maybe,” Ben answers, taking over and slowly starting to finger her. “Well, the winning part, you’re always going to be married to me.”
“Yes,” she agrees, leaning in for a kiss.
“So I have to ask, is that what’s been going on lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he tells her, his free hand tugging her panties down to her thighs, as he moves a leg between hers, using his knee to encourage her to spread hers farther apart.
The noises from three rambunctious toddlers continue upstairs, followed by their nanny’s footsteps as she chases them, but there’s no way Ben can tear himself away quite yet to go and see what’s happening.
They should probably give Roz a raise. After all, he came down here to find Leslie and now they’ve both gone missing.
“Maybe,” she tells him, smiling. “The last couple of days I’ve just been thinking about the bills you’ll write and you might even be on an important congressional committee and…Oh god.”
“Uh-huh.” Ben nods, sliding another finger inside while he keeps working her clit, applying more pressure and enjoying the way his wife is grinding against him. And really, he gets it. He feels the same way about all of her accomplishments at the National Park Service and before that, when she was on the Pawnee City Council.
Councilwoman Knope might have turned off the majority of Pawnee’s citizens but she certainly turned Ben on.
“The same fingers you’ll use to create legislation are the same fingers-”
“That I’ll use to make you come?” He asks, finishing her sentence.
Leslie starts to nod but then Ben leans in and presses his lips to her, his nose touching Leslie’s briefly as he feels her start to shudder.
9. "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."
“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you,“ Ben implores her, as he gives Leslie one more shake and then calls Ann’s phone number in a panic.
She’s a nurse…maybe she’ll know what to do?
“Hello.”
“She won’t wake up.”
“What? Who…Leslie?”
“Yeah,” Ben confirms. He’s down by the end of the bed now and has resorted to tickling his girlfriend’s feet-something that would normally have Leslie kicking and screaming at him. “She’s doing that thing where-”
“She sleeps for twelve hours and it’s impossible to wake her up?”
“Yes. And she has to be on Pawnee Today in exactly one hour from right now. We were up late working on her talking points and-”
“Did she eat any NutriYum bars?” Ann asks.
“Um,” Ben looks around his bedroom. And then he sees them-four wrappers on the bedside table on Leslie’s side. “Oh fuck. Yeah. Four. Is that a lot? That seems like a lot.”
“Well, it’s not the most she’s ever eaten, but yeah, Ben, I’m not going to lie, it’s bad.”
“What do I do? I’ve tried shaking her, saying her name loudly, poking her-”
“Maybe, um, try doing something...intimate?” Ann suggests carefully.
“Oh,” Ben makes a face at the suggestion, then looks at Leslie. “That doesn’t sound…wait, can I do that? I wouldn’t think that I could do that while she’s asleep.“
“Well, no, you probably shouldn’t. That’s just really one of the only things I haven’t tried when she’s been like this. Oh! I know, how about talking like Joe Biden?”
“I thought you said I shouldn’t do-”
“Oh god, no. No. I just meant him talking about taking the train or something, not uh, wow, I don’t need to know that. I already know way too much about your-”
“Oh,” Ben makes a face and his eyes widen. “No. No. Right. You meant…okay. We definitely need to not talk about this,” he says, as he looks down at Leslie again.
She is awfully cute when she’s asleep (especially when she’s just in a pair of cotton sleep shorts and a thin t-shirt), and any other day he’d think this was adorable.
But today of all days, it’s just awful. They need to keep the momentum up and swinging hard if they have any hope of taking Bobby Newport down in only three more weeks.
“Agreed,” Ann tells him and then it’s only awkward for a few more seconds, while Ben tries not to think about just how much Ann Perkins probably knows about his and Leslie’s sex life.
Then she suggests, “You can try tickling her if you’re not afraid of the sleep-hitting.”
“I already tried tickling her feet. Nothing. Oh wait-”
Just then Leslie snores loudly and sits up. She looks right at Ben and then falls back against the pillow.
“Crap. False alarm. Hey,” he tells Ann, “what if I baked cookies or something. Do you think the smell of that or maybe a cake would-”
Leslie sits back up again and blinks a few times. “Cake. There’s cake?”
“Oh…my…god,” Ben says and then watches her with a careful eye, both relieved and kind of bewildered that the mere mention of cake is what did the trick.
“You’re actually awake now. For cake?” He can hear Ann laughing in his ear even as he asks.
“Where’s the cake? Oh and I have that Pawnee Today thing soon. So, you should go get me a slice. Hey, who’s on the phone?"
10: “Wanna bet?”
“Leslie, there’s no way you can eat another waffle.” Ben says, but even as he finishes his sentence, he stands up and heads back to the kitchen to get her one more. Of course, she doesn’t realize it, but he used half whole wheat flour in this batch and also put some shredded yellow squash in there.
One day he’ll possibly tell her about it. Maybe. But definitely not today when she’s five months pregnant and hormonal and using cutlery.
“Wanna bet?” She asks, just as he sets the plate down in front of her. “I’m eating for four Ben. And we all want waffles. Three waffles isn’t even a waffle each. It’s-”
“Three-quarters of a waffle each,” he fills in quickly.
“I knew that.”
“I know you did. I just like doing math. And I’m really glad that you feel well enough to keep food down.
Of course I’m happy to supply as many waffles as you and the babies want,” he says, before kissing the top of her head and then sitting back down next to his wife.
Leslie smiles at him and digs into her food. She’s just about to dip her first bite into some whipped cream when she frowns and picks up a small seed. “Hey, what’s this?”
“Oh,” Ben looks at her, then at the stray yellow squash seed, then back at Leslie. “Well. Um. That is a…maple seed. Yep. A maple seed. Hey. You know, what they say, right? No? Well, when you find a maple seed on your plate, it’s good luck.”
“Really?” She asks, pushing the seed back down on the side of her plate.
“Yes. Absolutely. Also you’re supposed to make a wish,” he adds and then he has to make himself stop rambling about maple seeds.
Just relax, he thinks. Stop freaking out, she believes you. Be Matthew McConaughey in a hammock on a beach. Alright. Alright.
Alright.
“Well, there’s really nothing else I could want. I already have the best husband, the best friends, the three best babies on the way, and the rest of this delicious waffle. Although, if I did make a wish for something…”
“More whipped cream?” Ben asks.
“God, babe. You just really get me,” she answers, her eyes filling up with tears.
“I really do.”
Yeah. He should probably never tell her about the vegetables in her waffles.
11: Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?
“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” His door is still open when Ben says it and he quickly walks all the way in and shuts the door behind him quietly.
When he turns back around Leslie is still there, sitting up, his comforter pulled up to her chest. But yeah, she looks pretty naked. Not that this is a bad thing, of course. Just maybe not the best idea with April and Andy only a few feet away out in the living room.
“I’m not naked,” she insists. “I’ve got something on. You just need to come over here and find out what it is,” Leslie finishes her words in a flirty tone.
Ben tries not to smile and points to where her hands are outside of the covers. “Is it the fingerless gloves?”
Leslie looks down. “Crap on a cracker,” and then quickly puts her hands under the covers, flashing him her breasts as she does. “Pretend you didn’t see those.”
“Alright,” Ben agrees, nodding. “How did you-”
“I stopped by to drop off some work stuff for April and then when she and Andy started playing their video game again, instead of leaving, I snuck into your bedroom. And then took my clothes off.”
She must notice his skeptical expression because Leslie tells him, “I was very, very sneaky. I opened and shut the front door and then I tip-toed in here. They didn’t see me.”
Ben puts his briefcase down on his desk and then sits down on the bed next to her-his naked, sneaky, secret girlfriend. Even though this is probably a dumb idea, he can’t help being glad that she’s here.
Her house is slightly terrifying.
“So you’ve just been in here waiting for me to get home?”
Leslie smiles and nods at him and Ben can’t resist leaning in for a kiss. This time, when the covers fall down again, she makes no attempt to pull them back up.
“What have you been doing? All naked in my bed?” Ben asks as he pushes a stray piece of soft blonde hair back behind her ear. He’s kind of hoping she’ll tell him how she got herself off while waiting for him, but her actual response is somehow even better.
So incredibly Leslie-like that he can’t help but smile.
“Thinking about last night. I’ve got a new one. Want to see how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss?”
12. Mother’s Day 2019 (Leslie/Ben/Assorted Triplets)
“Did you have a nice Mother’s Day, honey?” Ben asks, sitting down on the edge of their bathtub and handing Leslie a glass of wine.
“Are you kidding? It was the best! I had waffles in bed, a day at the park with my four favorite people, three new finger paintings for my office, a scrapbook documenting the last year, two hours of uninterrupted craft-time, and a new flag picture for the wall. It was even better than last year!” She tells him with a wide smile.
“Well, yeah. But it wasn’t that hard to improve on last year considering no one wound up at the emergency room this time,” Ben responds, as Leslie nods in agreement before taking a sip of wine.
“Although that did make for some riveting scrapbook pages,” she tells him and hands her wine glass back to Ben. He takes a sip.
Right after last year’s celebratory waffle breakfast in bed, Wesley had shoved a wooden bead up his sister’s nose and they had spent two hours at Saint Joseph’s getting it removed. And then later that day, Ben had walked in on Sonia trying to push a raisin up Stephen’s nose.
For some reason, the triplets were really big into trying to put things up their noses last year.
“Yeah, I thought you would appreciate that part,” Ben answers with a grin, before setting the glass down on the wide part of the ledge up by Leslie’s head.
“Are they all in bed?”
“Yes. Finally.”
Leslie lifts a soapy, bubble bath-scented leg up out of the tub and pokes her toes against Ben’s leg. “Wanna join me, sailor?”
Ben makes a face and laughs. “I really would, but I think we have another hour or so until we’re out of the danger zone. But don’t worry, I have a whole special Mother’s Day after-dark plan for later. And I think you’ll-”
As if on cue, a little blonde head peeks around the corner of the bathroom door.
“Mommy! Are you playing mermaids?” Their daughter asks, before running into the bathroom and towards the tub. Ben makes a grab for her before she can actually get into the soapy water with Leslie.
“You are supposed to be in bed,” Ben tells the four-and-a-half year old in his arms, as he tickles her.
“Say goodnight Sonia.”
“Goodnight Sonia!” She yells and then giggles, while Leslie and Ben laugh along with her and the familiar joke.
“Give me a hug,” Leslie instructs, as Ben stands up and angles their daughter towards Leslie.
“I love you mommy!” She says, her little arms wrapped around Leslie’s neck.
“I love you too sweetie. Now let daddy take you back to bed.”
As Ben carries her out of the bathroom, Sonia continues to wave at her mother.
It’s only a few seconds later when Wesley quietly walks into the bathroom and right up to the bathtub. Her son starts telling her about the day, super excited about all the bugs he found at the park. He and Leslie talk about insects and she tells him about what kinds of bugs he’ll see later in the summer.
She loves every single part about being a mom but really, some of these quiet, one-on-one times are her favorites. Teaching Wesley about bugs, brushing Sonia’s hair in the morning and hearing about her stuffed animals, or making cookie dough with Stephen.
“So, she had about fifteen stuffed animals in a line leading to the bathroom. Apparently there was a whole scouting party involved-” Ben stops talking when he sees Wesley at the tub’s edge. “Now how did that happen?”
“It’s okay. We’re just discussing the day,” Leslie says with a smile as she runs her hand through Wesley’s hair.
“It’s nature daddy. You don’t understand,” his son turns around to tell him patiently.
“Alright. But now it’s bedtime, buddy. Come on.”
“But-”
“If you go to bed right now, there will be more spiders this summer,” Leslie tells their son, even as Ben cringes behind him.
“Really?”
“Yes. But you have to go back to bed right now. And go to sleep.”
“Okay! Goodnight mommy. I love you. Come on daddy, let’s go. You need to tuck me in,” Wes says taking Ben’s hand and trying to lead him out of the bathroom, as Leslie watches from the tub.
“Be back in a minute, babe,” Ben tells her, and then he bends down and swoops Wesley up in his arms and throws him over his shoulder to take him back to bed.
Wesley squeals and yells, “Happy Mommy’s Day,” before disappearing around the corner and towards the triplet’s bedroom.
13. Anonymous asked: “I thought you were dead.”
“I thought you were dead,” he tells Stephen, as his son reaches for a cookie from the plate that Ben just set down on the coffee table.
“No, daddy. I’m fine,” says the little voice, cookie now in hand, as the four-year old climbs up and sits next to Ben on the couch.
“But I don’t understand. Just a couple of minutes ago, when the tickle-monster was going to attack you, you hid under the afghan and said, Oh no, I’m dead. No tickles needed.”
Stephen starts giggling. “I was playing!”
Ben tries not to laugh. “Alright. But now that I have cookies, you’re not playing?”
Stephen shakes his head and takes a bite of the sugar cookie, before telling Ben very seriously, “No. Now it’s cookie time.”
14: Rough, biting, scratching
Title: The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic Pre-Game
Later that night, after a near-silent dinner and a lot of door slamming, she still can’t believe he had lied to her. Lied to her…about helping Eagleton of all things!
Leslie takes a deep breath before she enters their bedroom, which is where she finds Ben, lying in bed with his laptop propped up against his knees, watching an episode of Battlestar Galactica like absolutely nothing’s wrong.
He pauses it and looks up at her as she walks towards the bed.
“I’m still mad at you,” she says tightly.
Ben meets her eyes. “Well, okay. That’s convenient. I’m still mad at you too.”
“Great,” she answers, grabbing her pillow.
“Great,” he parrots back at her. “What? You’re not sleeping in here now?”
“I’m working,” she resists the urge to add I have to try and figure out how to stop being recalled, no thanks to you. “I might fall asleep in the living room. I want my pillow.”
He rolls his eyes passive-aggressively.
“What?” Leslie demands.
“Nothing. Have fun working.”
But before she can leave the room, Ben gets up and tells her, “Oh my god, you are so stubborn! I know you dislike Eagleton, but their town is in real trouble. And I know it’s their own fault but…”
“But what?”
He pauses and shakes his head and says in a low, measured voice, “But I thought your financial recovery presentation was a really crappy thing to do and extremely unprofessional. And after that I felt like I had to help them-Chris and I both did, that’s why we volunteered. So, really Leslie, that was your fault.”
“It was my fault you lied to me?”
He sighs and his voice softens considerably. “No. That was me. That was wrong. I said I was sorry and I am. But-”
“Well, I don’t accept your apology!”
He practically throws his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Unbelievable!”
They go back and forth for a few more minutes, arguing about how Ben had betrayed her and Pawnee, probably the whole state of Indiana (maybe the world?) by agreeing to assist Ingrid de Forest.
Borrow her husband for the evening? Just thinking about that makes Leslie want to set something on fire.
As they argue further, they keep moving closer until they’re just inches away.
It’s when Ben says something about Eagleton being on the edge of an epic financial disaster again that she lunges forward, quickly pressing her lips to his, the privacy in their bedroom this time allowing Ben to push forward and cup her breast through her shirt and bra as she kisses him, his fingers pinching her nipple roughly-just a bit harder than usual.
He pulls back. “I’m not sure this is a good idea right now.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re angry at each other.”
“Well, I think it’s a great idea, Ben. Because I really want to try to fuck some sense into you.”
He snorts. “Okay, I’m pretty sure you’d be the one who is going to get fucked. And believe me, there’s nothing I’d like better than to try to pound some sense into you right now.”
“So try.”
“Leslie…” There’s just a bit of hesitation in his voice even though she can tell that he’s more than interested.
And there’s no doubt that something in the way he’s staring at her, still kind of exasperated and still pretty mad, makes her insides absolutely clench. God, she’s so angry at him too. Him and his stupid face-how could she possibly be this turned on?
“Try.” She repeats slowly. “Try to pound some sense into me.”
“Is that what you want?” He moves even closer.
Is it? Maybe. God. Yes.
Definitely, yes.
“Yes.”
He doesn’t even give her time to change her mind (not that she would), before Ben grips her arms and pulled her into a rough kiss and this time, there’s no question that he’s the one that’s kissing her.
They stumble backwards towards the bed, separating only to pull shirts off and pants down and off, Leslie unhooking her bra as Ben slides his fingers through her folds, gauging her readiness.
Once the dark pink silky undergarment is flung towards the dresser, his lips are around a nipple, while his fingers continue to push and rub, making her even wetter. It’s when his teeth graze the side of her breast, starting to nibble and bite lightly, then harder, that Leslie rakes her nails down his chest and grasps at his cock, just a little rougher than usual.
Ben pulls back to look at her and yep…he still looks mad but not in an overly-aggressive way, and honestly, even Ben mad is not something that would cause her concern.
If anything, the edge to the way he grips at her, pinches and squeezes, uses his teeth is exciting.
Soon they’re on the bed, Leslie on top straddling him, but not sinking down yet, just leaning forward and working her mouth against the crook of his neck, but up higher above where the collar of his shirt would be. Biting and sucking, giving him the mother of all hickeys-let Ingrid check that out next time she wants some help with her budget disaster.
Ben seems to get what she’s doing and indulges her for a bit but then he grips her hips, squeezing tightly, digging his fingers in until she releases the skin on his neck.
He swiftly pulls her up and down, impaling her right onto his cock.
She’s so incredibly wet that he enters her easily and Leslie wastes no time in sitting up and riding him-at one point she leans down, holding his wrists up above his head, her nipples brushing against his chest with her movements.
They’re both moaning now.
It’s not long before Ben seems to remember he’s supposed to be pounding sense into her, and Leslie ends up on her back, her legs wrapped up high on his, and it feels so good that she doesn’t even care that he’s the one that’s fucking her. Her nails scratch down his back, and just like his neck, she kind of wants to mark him as hers.
And then he gets up close and whispers in her ear.
“Turn over.”
Fuck.
Well, actually, it’s more like a growled order when he says it and the words send a shiver all the way through her.
Ben slides out and moves back and when she doesn’t move fast enough, he just flips her over himself.
Leslie groans loudly and while she absolutely knows with every fiber of her being that if she said bluebird, that he would stop immediately, it’s…god, it’s so sexy and hot and even though it makes her feel a little weird, it turns her on all the more just thinking that she might have to say it.
When she’s on her stomach, Ben grips her hips again, pulls her up on her knees, and he slaps her ass.
First one cheek and then the other. He’s spanked her before playfully, but this is a lot harder than he typically does it, and instead of giggling like usual, she half yells and moans, her bottom stinging and her thighs and pussy completely soaked with her arousal.
In contrast to the sharp slaps, when he does push back into her, it’s so excruciatingly slow, his fingers digging into her hips lightly as he slides in inch by inch.
Usually they’re both very chatty during sex, there’s giggling and laughing and saying silly things but tonight, it’s mainly grunts, gasps, moans, and the noise of him just absolutely fucking her.
He’s so deep inside and it feels so good and when he starts playing with her clit, Leslie’s eyes snap shut.
She comes fast and hard and when she’s done, his hand moves back up, curls around her hip as he slams into her-pushing all of his frustration into her body. He comes soon after her, squeezing and pressing hard enough that Leslie wonders if she’ll have finger-shaped bruises in the morning.
Afterwards, she decides that she can probably get just as much work done in the bedroom as the living room and when they’re both in pajamas, Leslie settles on the bed next to him, her binders spread out.
“I’m still mad at you,” she tells him, but in a much softer tone than earlier.
“I’m still mad at you too,” he returns, but with just the briefest hint of a smile, before putting his headphones on and starting to watch cylons and humans battle again.
Later, when Leslie’s leg brushes up against his while she’s working, he doesn’t move away, but presses lightly back against hers.
Rating: G through NC-17
Timeline: All over the place.
Summary: 1. Root canal, 2. Ben having a stress-related issue, 3. dognapping, 4. Darlene Johannsen and her assistant-turned-lover, Gregory Strong, 5. walked in on by the kids, 6. a secret, 7. Encounter at the Whiz Palace, 8. laundry room, 9. You need to wake up, 10. maple seeds, 11. naked in bed (This is How Eleanor Roosevelt Would Kiss), 12. Mother's Day 2019, 13. cookie time, 14. The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic Pre-Game.
1: “Come over here and make me.”
“Come over here and make me,” she tells him, without too much trouble, standing defiantly on the poofy white chair in the corner of their Pawnee bedroom.
He had managed to get her pants off and her shirt mostly unbuttoned before she decided to start laughing and run away, and she’s still a long way from being under the covers and safely asleep.
“Leslie,” Ben sighs. “Seriously? Honey, just get in the bed and lay down. You must be getting tired. I’ll tuck you in.”
“I don’t want to,” she responds and then, actually…sticks her tongue out at him? Well, she tries to stick her tongue out at him.
For a brief second, he feels kind of guilty for how he must have acted those two days he was drugged out of his mind on morphine when he had kidney stones and she had to drive them back to Indiana, because Leslie after a root canal is an absolute handful.
An adorable, drugged out, wide awake, nonsensical handful.
And really, why isn’t she tired? Shouldn’t the drugs be knocking her out?
“Babe,” he tries to reason, taking a step closer with his hands out towards her, “if you get in bed and lay down, I’ll bring you a prize.” Ben figures bribery works on their five-year olds sometimes, why not his forty-five year old wife.
“What kind?”
“What kind do you want?”
“A sexy prize.” Although it comes out more like a thexy pwize.
He makes a face. “Alright. I was thinking maybe a crossword puzzle book or something, but what-”
“You’re the best husband,” she says suddenly, staring blankly at him. “A sexy, smart, walking stick congressman with tight little buns and a heart of golden candycorn.”
“Thanks?”
“And a penis of iron.
“Sure,” Ben agrees, holding his hand out closer to her. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.”
“What’s your favorite Friend?”
“What?”
“Wrong!” Leslie yells out. “It’s Phoebe. She had triplets too.”
“Right. Sorry. Come on. I can put in a Friends DVD for you. But you have to get into bed and watch it.”
“And I get a crossword funzle?”
“Yes,” Ben tells her, as she finally takes his hand and lets him lead her to the bed. She sits down on the edge and he manages to pull her socks off while she plays with his hair.
He decides to not even attempt to get her into pajamas. Her underwear and shirt are good enough.
“And the iron penis throne?”
“Well,” Ben says, then waits a beat, “let’s see how you do with the crosswords first.”
When he finally gets her under the sheet and comforter, both pulled up to just under her chin, he gives her a kiss on the forehead. “How are you doing?”
“I should really start flossing,” she tells him, right before closing her eyes and passing out.
2. Ben's having some - er - problems and is about to go into all out human disaster mode
“I…oh…no.”
She hears Ben at the same time that she feels him, feels him slipping out behind her and moaning in frustration as he eventually rests his head against her shoulder.
They’re on their sides so she cant exactly see him, but she’s pretty sure he’s not at all pleased with this unexpected turn of events.
“Babe?”
“Oh my god. I just…it starting going away and then it…what happened? I-”
“It’s okay,” Leslie says, turning around to face him.
“No. It’s not. I mean. Oh…my…god. Where did it go? Why-”
“You’ve been really stressed out lately,” she tells him softly.
And he has been wound so tight lately, more so than normal even.
He’s been struggling with a house vote that the majority of his district in Pawnee is against but that he knows is the right decision. It’s been weighing him down and after her own soda tax issue way back when she was on the City Council, Leslie really does understand.
“But this was helping with the stress. It was helping. But now…this is not helping at all.”
Of course, she also knows exactly how it feels to have a town (or at least most of it) hate you for wanting to vote your conscience.
Although, Leslie doesn’t exactly know how it feels to lose an erection in the middle of boning. Well, and not be on the receiving end of it-she now has that experience covered.
When she looks at Ben again, he still seems kind of shocked. And worried. And it makes her feel horrible for him-this really isn’t a big deal. She just wants Ben to feel better and know it’s going to be okay.
She loves all of him…not just his dick.
“Look, you’re over forty, overly stressed, and-”
“No. No. That’s not helping either,” Ben looks down at his penis, before demanding, “Why aren’t you working?”
They both look down at it. Unfortunately, Ben’s penis is not answering.
“Honey. Look. We can-”
“Please don’t say cuddle,” Ben says, hiding his eyes behind his arm. “Oh my god, don’t say cuddle.”
“Muddle…some limes and mint and make mojitos?” Leslie finishes.
Ben uncovers his face and stares at her before he almost kind of laughs, which eventually turns into a small smile. He sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
He gestures to his lap, eyes wide.
“This sort of thing happens. This is the first time it’s happened to us, but it’s normal. Hey, do you want me to call Ann to ask and just make sure?” She stretches towards her phone, but Ben reaches out and grabs her hand quickly before she can pick it up from the bedside table.
“God. No. Please don’t. Um. We don’t need to do that. I’m sure it’s stress-related.”
“Okay.”
“Wait. Why aren’t you more upset about this?” He asks, sitting up next to her.
“Well, it’s not like I wasn’t enjoying it, because I definitely was,” she tells him. “But I really don’t think this is anything other than a weird, one time thing. I bet as soon as the vote is over Friday, you’ll be fine. I mean, he does a great job normally. A lot of dedicated, hard work…” Leslie leans down so she’s eye-level and addresses his penis directly. “Hi there. I think we can give you a break this one time. I still love you and I understand. Feel better.”
Then she leans in further and gives it a little kiss. “Hey, do you think it would help if I-”
“No,” Ben sighs. “I think that ship has sailed.”
“The U.S.S Boner?”
“Yeah,” Ben agrees, laughing just a little. “You’re a goofball and I love you too,” he says and it looks like he’s feeling a little better. “Alright, I lied. I would actually like to cuddle.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Why don’t we put pajamas on, go peek in on the kids, and then come back here and watch a movie.”
“A Hard Day’s Night?” Leslie asks, trying not to giggle.
“No.”
“Up?”
“Alright, cool it,” he tells her. “That is not-”
“How to Train Your Dragon? Oh, what about-”
Ben’s pillow hits Leslie on the side of the head before she can even finish her next suggestion, and then he’s is holding her down and tickling her until she’s laughing and trying to wiggle away.
3: “Please, don’t leave.”
“Okay, what’s going on in here?” Ben asks, opening the door and sticking his head into the triplet’s bedroom.
It had been a mostly quiet, late Sunday morning, post-pancakes, but then there were a high number of happy screams and giggles that had alerted both Ben and Leslie out in the living room, that something was probably up.
And then Ben had lost the coin toss as Leslie had grinned and called him a sucker.
“Nothing daddy!” Sonia replies quickly, running over to him and hugging him around the legs. “We’re playing!”
“Yeah!” Stephen adds, smiling innocently at his father. “Just playing.”
Ben frowns as he looks around the room. There’s a little table set up with all their stuffed animals, big colorful legos, and little tea cups. And…he counts one, two triplets.
“Where’s your brother? Did he get outside again?”
“Who?” Sonia asks sweetly, looking up at Ben with her big, adorable, five-year old eyes.
“Alright. What have you two done? And you know who Wesley is, so don’t even try that.”
Just then there’s a squeal from under one of the beds and the next door neighbor’s dog, Brisket comes happily running out, followed by a still giggling Wesley.
“He was licking my nose!” The little boy announces.
“Guys, you can’t keep borrowing,” Ben air-quotes that word, “the dog and bringing it over here. No pets,” Ben tells his kids, bending over to pick the small animal up.
“Brisket’s not a pet, she’s our neighbor,” Sonia tells him.
“We were being friendly! Brisket came by for tea,” Wes adds.
“And cake. Daddy, do we have some cake for our guest?” Stephen asks with a surprisingly serious tone for the current situation.
“No,” Ben says slowly. “We’re not feeding a dog cake. And Brisket is going home now.”
“I named him Turnip,” Wesley says. “I think he likes that name better.”
Soon, all three kids are chanting, “Tur-nip. Tur-nip. Tur-nip.”
Ben shakes his head. “Nope. Not happening. Brisket is going back home,” he pauses and then adds, “And no more dognapping. I’m serious.”
“No!” Sonia yells out. “Brisket! Please, don’t leave.”
“Honey-”
Just as he’s about to patiently explain one more time why they just can’t handle a dog right now, Leslie walks up next to him and takes their furry, tail-wagging neighbor off his hands. They share a small smile and he knows she’s doing it so that Ben doesn’t have to be the bad guy-something they try to switch off while parenting.
He’s not even sure if it’s her turn, but he definitely appreciates the gesture. He’s making dinner tonight and they’re having broccoli along with the chicken, so that’s definitely going to put him in unpopular territory-with everyone.
“I’ll take her home. Because she needs to go home now. Brisket has an important meeting…with the cat across the street,” Leslie tells the triplets, before leaning in and whispering to Ben, “Well, at least it’s not 32 cats and dogs.”
As soon as Leslie and Brisket leave the room, Ben watches as his daughter’s face scrunches up like she’s going to cry. The boys seem okay with the turn of events but Sonia, probably the mastermind of the heist and the biggest, we-need-a-dog advocate, is definitely not okay.
“Mommy’s mean!” She even accents this outburst with a little stomp of her foot and an incredibly expressive, this isn’t fair! face that reminds him so much of Leslie that he has to hide a smile.
“Come here,” he says gently, as Ben leads Sonia over to one of the beds and they sit down. “She’s not mean. We just can’t have a dog right now. That’s both mine and mommy’s decision.”
“But why?” She asks, right before the tears start.
Ben pulls Sonia against him as she cries, strokes her hair. “Because we can’t. But I promise, we’ll talk about it next year. After you start first grade.”
He looks around the room as Sonia’s sobs start to quiet down and it’s just then that he notices a smell. A really, really bad smell coming from the direction of the closet.
“Um, how long was Brisket in your room?”
“Since last night!” Stephen tells his father cheerfully. “We had a slumber party!”
4: “YOU DID WHAT?!”
“Acorn. Acorn!”
As soon as Ben says it the first time, she stops immediately and instead of spanking his perfect flat butt again, she rests her palm against the slightly pink skin, where it’s just starting to feel a little warm. She rubs the area gently before bending down and giving his skin a little kiss.
“Oh, babe. Seriously? I was just getting into it,” Leslie teases, but she’s actually surprised that he let her do this as long as he did.
“I, uh..well, it started to hurt?”
“It’s supposed to hurt a little. I’m punishing my assistant for losing my award-winning architectural designs. This is my stern reminder to be more careful at work, Gregory.”
Since the kids are at her mom’s, after they had picked out appropriate attire and cover stories for their visit to Gryzzl, Leslie had suggested a little roleplay just to make sure they were comfortable with their new alter-egos, Darlene Johannsen and her assistant-turned-lover, Gregory Strong.
It had started with Leslie’s well-acted “YOU DID WHAT?!” and eventually led to a clearly startled but willing-to-go-with-it Gregory, bent over her desk to be disciplined for his carelessness.
Ben laughs. “Yeah, I know. But…maybe women are just better at tolerating pain?”
She laughs at his joke, but lightly slaps him one more time.
“Hey! I said acorn!”
“Yeah, I know. But that wasn’t part of a sexy roleplay thing, that was just me spanking your cute little butt for the sexist comment.” She gropes him a little more and then starts pulling his purple cardigan and shirt up in back, giving Ben little kisses along his spine.
“Alright. Point taken. Hey. Here’s an idea-can we have sex now? We only have an hour before we have to be at Gryzzl,” he suggests, already starting to stand up and turn around to face her, a grin on his face.
“Oh…yeah. Come on, let’s do this,” she says, not even bothering to remove the glasses or beret, as Ben maneuvers them around so she’s the one against the desk.
5. Anonymous asked: Prompt: Leslie giving Ben a blowjob on the couch and their kids walk in
“Oh god.”
She hears his words but it doesn’t really surprise her, because it’s hardly strange for Ben to mutter that phrase when he’s deep in her mouth.
“Oh god, oh god,” he says again and there’s an out of the ordinary, panicked edge to his voice that concerns her, so she’s just about to stop when Ben tugs on her hair much harder than normal and she knows something is really wrong. It’s just all happening so fast.
One minute they were giggling on the couch late at night, the next she’s sliding down to the floor in front of him and unzipping his pants.
But now, all of a sudden, Ben is clearly aware of some troubling turn of events that she is not.
If they were in Pawnee, she’d think that maybe another raccoon had gotten into the house, but so far their DC place has been pretty wildlife-proof.
It’s just when Leslie pulls back and looks up at him, as Ben quickly grabs a couch pillow and shoves it in front of his open pants, that she finally seems to get that he’s in full-on and complete, flustered crisis-mode.
“Daddy?”
Her eyes widen and now Leslie’s in crisis-mode too as she turns towards the voice on the stairs and sees one of their sons standing there in his little plaid pajamas, with his adorable, five-year old messy bed head.
“Oh…buddy. Hi. Hi there. What’s, uh, hi. You are, uh, we were-” Ben starts stammering out a string of words.
“Woke up and I can’t find my glasses,” the little boy answers, saving his father from probably saying something ridiculous due to the lack of blood in his brain.
Leslie closes her eyes and releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding, while Ben quickly adds a quiet, “Oh, thank god,” to the moment.
“Mommy! Were you hiding?” Wesley asks, surprised and excited to finally see her as he starts to come down the stairs quickly but with obvious care.
“Oh, daddy and I were playing a game…” she says, trying to think of what made up game could possible involve her having Ben’s penis in her mouth, when Leslie notices her husband’s incredulous expression so she quickly changes her story to, “I just dropped my…monocle, um, earring on the floor. I was looking for it. It’s okay. I can help you find your glasses, honey. Stay there, I don’t want you to trip if you can’t see.”
“I can see!” He insists, but even so, he stops where he is on the third step from the bottom.
Ben laughs nervously and holds up his right hand, two fingers pointing up.
“How many fingers?”
“Five!”
“Nope,” Ben answers with obvious relief and then holds his hand out for Leslie to grab onto as she stands up. He softly runs his fingers along her palm as they share a smile.
“Come on, my near-sighted little waffle cone,” Leslie tells her son, walking towards the stairs and finally taking his small hand in hers. “Let’s go find your glasses and get you all tucked back into bed.”
6: Tell Me a Secret
“Tell me a secret,” Leslie demands, curling up on her side and facing Ben’s side of the bed. He glances at the clock-just past midnight.
“Like what?”
“Like a secret, Ben. Something that I don’t know.”
He looks at her and closes his book, puts it on his bedside table. “A big secret or a little secret?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
It’s not like they really keep secrets from each other, but he does have a few.
He could tell her that when they were broken up last year, that there was one night, that night he had left the public forum for the Smallest Park, and had been so frustrated with her, that he had started packing. Ben just wanted to get in his car and leave Pawnee forever (he didn’t though-he took a bath instead, at least until April broke the lock on the door and shot at him with the marshmallow gun).
Not really a secret but an observation? Wet marshmallows are incredibly gross.
He could tell Leslie that he’d hid her Bangles CD (and the file folder with the mp3s) last month because he just couldn’t bear to listen to Walk Like an Egyptian one more time, no matter how much he loves her.
Finally, Ben decides to tell her this. “I’m the one that ate the last chocolate chip cookie the other day. After your campaign volunteer meeting? I blamed it on Andy, but it was really me.”
The face she makes isn’t exactly angry, but it is surprised…rage?
Uh-oh, maybe this was a mistake, he thinks. But then her features soften a little and Leslie rolls up close to him and kind of pins him down to the bed, pressing against him in all the right places.
“You are in so much trouble.”
Ben smiles. That’s kind of what he was hoping she’d say.
7. Anonymous asked: leslie/ben, “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
Title: Encounter at the Whiz Palace
The first thing Leslie becomes aware of, is that the room she’s currently in, is dark and unfamiliar.
The second thing, is that she’s no longer in Chris’s guest bedroom at all but, as her eyes slowly adjust to the slight amount of light coming from the low glow of a healing crystal-fronted nightlight, that she’s in his bathroom.
Finally, as everything comes slowly and clearly into focus all the way, she becomes very, very aware that she is sitting on someone and that her black sweatpants and panties are pulled down to just past her knees.
“Oh my god.” And although she meant it in a rhetorical-fashion, there’s definitely a reply.
“Um, hi.”
Leslie’s certainly relieved that it’s not Chris, but also slightly horrified that it’s Ben.
“Ben? What…oh my god.”
“Is it possible that you sleepwalk?”
Before answering him, she reaches behind and feels out the situation-mainly that Ben still has Chris’s tight biking pants on and that the toilet lid is closed.
Well that’s weird.
“Were you just sitting in here in the dark?” She asks, puzzling over the current turn of events.
“I had to pee and then afterwards I didn’t really want to go back out there, so I decided to stay in here and just think about some…okay, wait. I’m not quite sure why I’m the one who has to explain myself here.”
“Well, you’re-”
“Leslie, you’re being very judgmental for someone who’s currently sitting on someone else, with their pants pulled down.”
Since she’s not quite looking at him, Leslie can’t tell for sure if he’s annoyed or maybe mad but really, his tone sounds mostly amused, if anything.
“Yeah, okay,” she agrees because what else is there to really say since he does have a valid point.
She makes no effort to get up and off Ben and he seems pretty okay that she’s still sitting on him. In fact, his arm comes up around her and rests against her stomach and she leans her head back just a bit, so it’s resting lightly on his shoulder.
Just like it’s the most natural thing in the whole world. Yep.
“Do you actually have to-”
“Oh. No. I’m good,” she tells him. She doesn’t have to use the bathroom at all, this was just some strange middle of the night, pulling-pants-down situation apparently.
At least she’s not on TV this time.
Leslie can hear Ben breathing behind her and she’s also definitely hyper-aware of her current pants-less situation. And also of how warm and solid he feels underneath her, how the stretchy material covering his thighs makes her acutely aware of his legs as they strain beneath her.
She’s also incredibly aware of how Ben’s hand is now lightly touching her bare hip just below the hem of her red t-shirt, his thumb rubbing back and forth over a small patch of skin. It makes her shiver.
“I think we have two choices here,” he tells her after a few seconds. His voice is all low and soft and fuck, she’s getting really turned on, her stomach fluttering as he talks in his slow, deliberate tone.
“Okay.”
“I could close my eyes and you could get up and get everything…back on and go back to the guest room and we’ll just pretend this never happened.”
“We could do that. Should do that one,” she corrects. “But just out of curiosity, what do you think the other option is?”
“We could stay like this for a few more minutes and I could touch you. Um, since you already have your pants-”
“Oh. I really want to do the second one.”
“Yeah, me too,” Ben answers, as he spreads his legs and in doing so, her own knees open up more for him.
He cups her mound and then slowly slides his hand between her thighs. His fingers are soft but eagerly seeking her out, parting her folds, sliding around where she’s already getting so wet. When he touches her clit she gasps and quickly purses her lips together, which is very useful for the whole quiet thing they’re going for, because when Ben’s lips find the side of her neck and he kisses and then sucks at her skin, she wants to scream.
His hand works against her, fingers holding her open, rubbing, flicking, and sliding inside, building up a pattern that quickly takes over her whole body, from the tips of her toes to her eyes, as they snap shut.
Between grinding into his fingers, the feel of his mouth on her skin, and his growing erection against her lower back, she comes quickly, in quiet little pants and gasps.
Honestly, Leslie’s a little surprised that she had an orgasm at all, considering the strangeness of the current situation and also since it usually takes her a couple of times to relax enough with someone new. But at the same time, it hardly seems odd at all-of course Ben can do this to her right out of the gate.
Just like, of course he likes the wildflower mural at City Hall, and of course she sleepwalked into the bathroom this evening and sat right down in his lap.
When Leslie reaches behind her, Ben is definitely hard but he’s also still very much securely inside Chris’s tight biking pants. She tries to get her hand in underneath to return the favor, but the pants are just really stupid and form-fitting and she doesn’t want to accidentally hurt him or pinch anything while trying to get her palm on his dick.
“Oh my god,” Ben says finally, sounding a little desperate now. “Chris’s bike pants are like a fucking chastity belt. He’s actually trying to kill me on this trip and I’m going to die and-”
“If you die, I’m going to kill you. Just help me get them down a little,” she whispers back.
Sure, she could turn around and it would all be much easier, she could see what she was doing but if she did that, she could also sink right down on Ben and ride him on Chris’s stupid toilet seat and for some reason, fucking Ben in Chris’s bathroom seems much, much worse than just getting each other off in his bathroom.
Besides, it doesn’t really count if they’re not actually looking at each other right? If she can’t see Ben, who is of course, technically still her boss, how does she know that it’s actually his cock she’s going to be touching?
Wait…that sounds kind of bad too, just in a different way.
It’s just that, they’re doing really intimate things to each other but they haven’t even kissed yet, and they’re not even looking at each other, but she knows it’s Ben and he knows it’s her and it’s all so sexy that she kind of has to stop herself from moaning again.
But then Leslie can’t give any of that much more thought because he finally gets those super annoying, borrowed pants pushed down enough for her to grasp him in her hand.
They both groan in relief.
There’s an added level of challenge since she still can’s see what she’s doing, but his hand is guiding hers over the velvety hardness of his length and when her shirt gets pushed up a bit in back, the head of his cock brushes against her arched back every so often.
His grip around her waist tightens and eventually she feels, rather than hears Ben orgasm behind her.
Neither of them move or talk for for a few seconds.
“Oh fuck, I got it all over these stupid pants. And oh, your back too. God, I’m sorry. I’ll help you clean that off.“
And that’s when Leslie can’t hold in the ridiculousness of the situation any longer. Here she is, she’s sitting on Ben’s lap and she’s got his come on her back and they both have their pants pulled down, sitting on a closed toilet seat in a peaceful, Zen-inspired bathroom-all while Chris is sleeping just a few feet away.
If she got reprimanded for kissing Tom in the hallway at City Hall, Leslie doesn’t even want to think about what will happen if Chris walks in on her giving the Assistant City Manager a backwards hand job in his bathroom.
All of that collides along with her giddiness and happiness that it’s not just her, as well as her post-orgasm high and Leslie start giggling. Loudly.
“Shhhh,” Ben tells her, as his hand leaves her side and quickly comes up around her mouth loosely, trying to keep her from alerting Chris to the current situation. “Shhhh, Leslie. We need to be quiet. This looks really bad.”
But then as soon as he says that, she hears a snort from behind her and apparently Ben can’t help laughing either.
8. PROMPT! “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
“Is there a reason you’re hiding down here half-naked in the laundry room?” Ben asks, after walking down the stairs to the basement and seeing Leslie leaning against the dryer, with her pants pulled down to mid-hip and her hand in her underwear.
She looks a little startled at his sudden appearance, but otherwise happy to see him.
“Um. Well. I was going to put the clothes in the dryer.”
Ben gets an amused look on his face as he continues to watch her. It seems like she’s stopped moving her fingers but has made no attempt to pull her hand away.
“And how is that going?”
Before she can answer there’s a crash from upstairs and they hear Roz yell out, “It’s okay! It’s fine! Nothing broke!”
“Well, it was…going. And then I got distracted.”
“I can see that.”
He walks closer, close enough to put his hand on her hip and smell the dryer sheets from where the box is open on the shelf behind her. Slowly, he slides his palm to the front and then down and into Leslie’s underwear and beneath her own fingers.
Ben’s eyes widen in surprise at how incredibly wet she is. “Wow, what is going on down here?”
Leslie laughs. “I was just thinking about how you’re going to win and then in addition to being the sexiest husband in the history of the world, you’ll also be this super hot congressman that I’m married to.”
“Maybe,” Ben answers, taking over and slowly starting to finger her. “Well, the winning part, you’re always going to be married to me.”
“Yes,” she agrees, leaning in for a kiss.
“So I have to ask, is that what’s been going on lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he tells her, his free hand tugging her panties down to her thighs, as he moves a leg between hers, using his knee to encourage her to spread hers farther apart.
The noises from three rambunctious toddlers continue upstairs, followed by their nanny’s footsteps as she chases them, but there’s no way Ben can tear himself away quite yet to go and see what’s happening.
They should probably give Roz a raise. After all, he came down here to find Leslie and now they’ve both gone missing.
“Maybe,” she tells him, smiling. “The last couple of days I’ve just been thinking about the bills you’ll write and you might even be on an important congressional committee and…Oh god.”
“Uh-huh.” Ben nods, sliding another finger inside while he keeps working her clit, applying more pressure and enjoying the way his wife is grinding against him. And really, he gets it. He feels the same way about all of her accomplishments at the National Park Service and before that, when she was on the Pawnee City Council.
Councilwoman Knope might have turned off the majority of Pawnee’s citizens but she certainly turned Ben on.
“The same fingers you’ll use to create legislation are the same fingers-”
“That I’ll use to make you come?” He asks, finishing her sentence.
Leslie starts to nod but then Ben leans in and presses his lips to her, his nose touching Leslie’s briefly as he feels her start to shudder.
9. "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."
“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you,“ Ben implores her, as he gives Leslie one more shake and then calls Ann’s phone number in a panic.
She’s a nurse…maybe she’ll know what to do?
“Hello.”
“She won’t wake up.”
“What? Who…Leslie?”
“Yeah,” Ben confirms. He’s down by the end of the bed now and has resorted to tickling his girlfriend’s feet-something that would normally have Leslie kicking and screaming at him. “She’s doing that thing where-”
“She sleeps for twelve hours and it’s impossible to wake her up?”
“Yes. And she has to be on Pawnee Today in exactly one hour from right now. We were up late working on her talking points and-”
“Did she eat any NutriYum bars?” Ann asks.
“Um,” Ben looks around his bedroom. And then he sees them-four wrappers on the bedside table on Leslie’s side. “Oh fuck. Yeah. Four. Is that a lot? That seems like a lot.”
“Well, it’s not the most she’s ever eaten, but yeah, Ben, I’m not going to lie, it’s bad.”
“What do I do? I’ve tried shaking her, saying her name loudly, poking her-”
“Maybe, um, try doing something...intimate?” Ann suggests carefully.
“Oh,” Ben makes a face at the suggestion, then looks at Leslie. “That doesn’t sound…wait, can I do that? I wouldn’t think that I could do that while she’s asleep.“
“Well, no, you probably shouldn’t. That’s just really one of the only things I haven’t tried when she’s been like this. Oh! I know, how about talking like Joe Biden?”
“I thought you said I shouldn’t do-”
“Oh god, no. No. I just meant him talking about taking the train or something, not uh, wow, I don’t need to know that. I already know way too much about your-”
“Oh,” Ben makes a face and his eyes widen. “No. No. Right. You meant…okay. We definitely need to not talk about this,” he says, as he looks down at Leslie again.
She is awfully cute when she’s asleep (especially when she’s just in a pair of cotton sleep shorts and a thin t-shirt), and any other day he’d think this was adorable.
But today of all days, it’s just awful. They need to keep the momentum up and swinging hard if they have any hope of taking Bobby Newport down in only three more weeks.
“Agreed,” Ann tells him and then it’s only awkward for a few more seconds, while Ben tries not to think about just how much Ann Perkins probably knows about his and Leslie’s sex life.
Then she suggests, “You can try tickling her if you’re not afraid of the sleep-hitting.”
“I already tried tickling her feet. Nothing. Oh wait-”
Just then Leslie snores loudly and sits up. She looks right at Ben and then falls back against the pillow.
“Crap. False alarm. Hey,” he tells Ann, “what if I baked cookies or something. Do you think the smell of that or maybe a cake would-”
Leslie sits back up again and blinks a few times. “Cake. There’s cake?”
“Oh…my…god,” Ben says and then watches her with a careful eye, both relieved and kind of bewildered that the mere mention of cake is what did the trick.
“You’re actually awake now. For cake?” He can hear Ann laughing in his ear even as he asks.
“Where’s the cake? Oh and I have that Pawnee Today thing soon. So, you should go get me a slice. Hey, who’s on the phone?"
10: “Wanna bet?”
“Leslie, there’s no way you can eat another waffle.” Ben says, but even as he finishes his sentence, he stands up and heads back to the kitchen to get her one more. Of course, she doesn’t realize it, but he used half whole wheat flour in this batch and also put some shredded yellow squash in there.
One day he’ll possibly tell her about it. Maybe. But definitely not today when she’s five months pregnant and hormonal and using cutlery.
“Wanna bet?” She asks, just as he sets the plate down in front of her. “I’m eating for four Ben. And we all want waffles. Three waffles isn’t even a waffle each. It’s-”
“Three-quarters of a waffle each,” he fills in quickly.
“I knew that.”
“I know you did. I just like doing math. And I’m really glad that you feel well enough to keep food down.
Of course I’m happy to supply as many waffles as you and the babies want,” he says, before kissing the top of her head and then sitting back down next to his wife.
Leslie smiles at him and digs into her food. She’s just about to dip her first bite into some whipped cream when she frowns and picks up a small seed. “Hey, what’s this?”
“Oh,” Ben looks at her, then at the stray yellow squash seed, then back at Leslie. “Well. Um. That is a…maple seed. Yep. A maple seed. Hey. You know, what they say, right? No? Well, when you find a maple seed on your plate, it’s good luck.”
“Really?” She asks, pushing the seed back down on the side of her plate.
“Yes. Absolutely. Also you’re supposed to make a wish,” he adds and then he has to make himself stop rambling about maple seeds.
Just relax, he thinks. Stop freaking out, she believes you. Be Matthew McConaughey in a hammock on a beach. Alright. Alright.
Alright.
“Well, there’s really nothing else I could want. I already have the best husband, the best friends, the three best babies on the way, and the rest of this delicious waffle. Although, if I did make a wish for something…”
“More whipped cream?” Ben asks.
“God, babe. You just really get me,” she answers, her eyes filling up with tears.
“I really do.”
Yeah. He should probably never tell her about the vegetables in her waffles.
11: Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?
“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” His door is still open when Ben says it and he quickly walks all the way in and shuts the door behind him quietly.
When he turns back around Leslie is still there, sitting up, his comforter pulled up to her chest. But yeah, she looks pretty naked. Not that this is a bad thing, of course. Just maybe not the best idea with April and Andy only a few feet away out in the living room.
“I’m not naked,” she insists. “I’ve got something on. You just need to come over here and find out what it is,” Leslie finishes her words in a flirty tone.
Ben tries not to smile and points to where her hands are outside of the covers. “Is it the fingerless gloves?”
Leslie looks down. “Crap on a cracker,” and then quickly puts her hands under the covers, flashing him her breasts as she does. “Pretend you didn’t see those.”
“Alright,” Ben agrees, nodding. “How did you-”
“I stopped by to drop off some work stuff for April and then when she and Andy started playing their video game again, instead of leaving, I snuck into your bedroom. And then took my clothes off.”
She must notice his skeptical expression because Leslie tells him, “I was very, very sneaky. I opened and shut the front door and then I tip-toed in here. They didn’t see me.”
Ben puts his briefcase down on his desk and then sits down on the bed next to her-his naked, sneaky, secret girlfriend. Even though this is probably a dumb idea, he can’t help being glad that she’s here.
Her house is slightly terrifying.
“So you’ve just been in here waiting for me to get home?”
Leslie smiles and nods at him and Ben can’t resist leaning in for a kiss. This time, when the covers fall down again, she makes no attempt to pull them back up.
“What have you been doing? All naked in my bed?” Ben asks as he pushes a stray piece of soft blonde hair back behind her ear. He’s kind of hoping she’ll tell him how she got herself off while waiting for him, but her actual response is somehow even better.
So incredibly Leslie-like that he can’t help but smile.
“Thinking about last night. I’ve got a new one. Want to see how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss?”
12. Mother’s Day 2019 (Leslie/Ben/Assorted Triplets)
“Did you have a nice Mother’s Day, honey?” Ben asks, sitting down on the edge of their bathtub and handing Leslie a glass of wine.
“Are you kidding? It was the best! I had waffles in bed, a day at the park with my four favorite people, three new finger paintings for my office, a scrapbook documenting the last year, two hours of uninterrupted craft-time, and a new flag picture for the wall. It was even better than last year!” She tells him with a wide smile.
“Well, yeah. But it wasn’t that hard to improve on last year considering no one wound up at the emergency room this time,” Ben responds, as Leslie nods in agreement before taking a sip of wine.
“Although that did make for some riveting scrapbook pages,” she tells him and hands her wine glass back to Ben. He takes a sip.
Right after last year’s celebratory waffle breakfast in bed, Wesley had shoved a wooden bead up his sister’s nose and they had spent two hours at Saint Joseph’s getting it removed. And then later that day, Ben had walked in on Sonia trying to push a raisin up Stephen’s nose.
For some reason, the triplets were really big into trying to put things up their noses last year.
“Yeah, I thought you would appreciate that part,” Ben answers with a grin, before setting the glass down on the wide part of the ledge up by Leslie’s head.
“Are they all in bed?”
“Yes. Finally.”
Leslie lifts a soapy, bubble bath-scented leg up out of the tub and pokes her toes against Ben’s leg. “Wanna join me, sailor?”
Ben makes a face and laughs. “I really would, but I think we have another hour or so until we’re out of the danger zone. But don’t worry, I have a whole special Mother’s Day after-dark plan for later. And I think you’ll-”
As if on cue, a little blonde head peeks around the corner of the bathroom door.
“Mommy! Are you playing mermaids?” Their daughter asks, before running into the bathroom and towards the tub. Ben makes a grab for her before she can actually get into the soapy water with Leslie.
“You are supposed to be in bed,” Ben tells the four-and-a-half year old in his arms, as he tickles her.
“Say goodnight Sonia.”
“Goodnight Sonia!” She yells and then giggles, while Leslie and Ben laugh along with her and the familiar joke.
“Give me a hug,” Leslie instructs, as Ben stands up and angles their daughter towards Leslie.
“I love you mommy!” She says, her little arms wrapped around Leslie’s neck.
“I love you too sweetie. Now let daddy take you back to bed.”
As Ben carries her out of the bathroom, Sonia continues to wave at her mother.
It’s only a few seconds later when Wesley quietly walks into the bathroom and right up to the bathtub. Her son starts telling her about the day, super excited about all the bugs he found at the park. He and Leslie talk about insects and she tells him about what kinds of bugs he’ll see later in the summer.
She loves every single part about being a mom but really, some of these quiet, one-on-one times are her favorites. Teaching Wesley about bugs, brushing Sonia’s hair in the morning and hearing about her stuffed animals, or making cookie dough with Stephen.
“So, she had about fifteen stuffed animals in a line leading to the bathroom. Apparently there was a whole scouting party involved-” Ben stops talking when he sees Wesley at the tub’s edge. “Now how did that happen?”
“It’s okay. We’re just discussing the day,” Leslie says with a smile as she runs her hand through Wesley’s hair.
“It’s nature daddy. You don’t understand,” his son turns around to tell him patiently.
“Alright. But now it’s bedtime, buddy. Come on.”
“But-”
“If you go to bed right now, there will be more spiders this summer,” Leslie tells their son, even as Ben cringes behind him.
“Really?”
“Yes. But you have to go back to bed right now. And go to sleep.”
“Okay! Goodnight mommy. I love you. Come on daddy, let’s go. You need to tuck me in,” Wes says taking Ben’s hand and trying to lead him out of the bathroom, as Leslie watches from the tub.
“Be back in a minute, babe,” Ben tells her, and then he bends down and swoops Wesley up in his arms and throws him over his shoulder to take him back to bed.
Wesley squeals and yells, “Happy Mommy’s Day,” before disappearing around the corner and towards the triplet’s bedroom.
13. Anonymous asked: “I thought you were dead.”
“I thought you were dead,” he tells Stephen, as his son reaches for a cookie from the plate that Ben just set down on the coffee table.
“No, daddy. I’m fine,” says the little voice, cookie now in hand, as the four-year old climbs up and sits next to Ben on the couch.
“But I don’t understand. Just a couple of minutes ago, when the tickle-monster was going to attack you, you hid under the afghan and said, Oh no, I’m dead. No tickles needed.”
Stephen starts giggling. “I was playing!”
Ben tries not to laugh. “Alright. But now that I have cookies, you’re not playing?”
Stephen shakes his head and takes a bite of the sugar cookie, before telling Ben very seriously, “No. Now it’s cookie time.”
14: Rough, biting, scratching
Title: The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic Pre-Game
Later that night, after a near-silent dinner and a lot of door slamming, she still can’t believe he had lied to her. Lied to her…about helping Eagleton of all things!
Leslie takes a deep breath before she enters their bedroom, which is where she finds Ben, lying in bed with his laptop propped up against his knees, watching an episode of Battlestar Galactica like absolutely nothing’s wrong.
He pauses it and looks up at her as she walks towards the bed.
“I’m still mad at you,” she says tightly.
Ben meets her eyes. “Well, okay. That’s convenient. I’m still mad at you too.”
“Great,” she answers, grabbing her pillow.
“Great,” he parrots back at her. “What? You’re not sleeping in here now?”
“I’m working,” she resists the urge to add I have to try and figure out how to stop being recalled, no thanks to you. “I might fall asleep in the living room. I want my pillow.”
He rolls his eyes passive-aggressively.
“What?” Leslie demands.
“Nothing. Have fun working.”
But before she can leave the room, Ben gets up and tells her, “Oh my god, you are so stubborn! I know you dislike Eagleton, but their town is in real trouble. And I know it’s their own fault but…”
“But what?”
He pauses and shakes his head and says in a low, measured voice, “But I thought your financial recovery presentation was a really crappy thing to do and extremely unprofessional. And after that I felt like I had to help them-Chris and I both did, that’s why we volunteered. So, really Leslie, that was your fault.”
“It was my fault you lied to me?”
He sighs and his voice softens considerably. “No. That was me. That was wrong. I said I was sorry and I am. But-”
“Well, I don’t accept your apology!”
He practically throws his hands up in the air in exasperation. “Unbelievable!”
They go back and forth for a few more minutes, arguing about how Ben had betrayed her and Pawnee, probably the whole state of Indiana (maybe the world?) by agreeing to assist Ingrid de Forest.
Borrow her husband for the evening? Just thinking about that makes Leslie want to set something on fire.
As they argue further, they keep moving closer until they’re just inches away.
It’s when Ben says something about Eagleton being on the edge of an epic financial disaster again that she lunges forward, quickly pressing her lips to his, the privacy in their bedroom this time allowing Ben to push forward and cup her breast through her shirt and bra as she kisses him, his fingers pinching her nipple roughly-just a bit harder than usual.
He pulls back. “I’m not sure this is a good idea right now.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re angry at each other.”
“Well, I think it’s a great idea, Ben. Because I really want to try to fuck some sense into you.”
He snorts. “Okay, I’m pretty sure you’d be the one who is going to get fucked. And believe me, there’s nothing I’d like better than to try to pound some sense into you right now.”
“So try.”
“Leslie…” There’s just a bit of hesitation in his voice even though she can tell that he’s more than interested.
And there’s no doubt that something in the way he’s staring at her, still kind of exasperated and still pretty mad, makes her insides absolutely clench. God, she’s so angry at him too. Him and his stupid face-how could she possibly be this turned on?
“Try.” She repeats slowly. “Try to pound some sense into me.”
“Is that what you want?” He moves even closer.
Is it? Maybe. God. Yes.
Definitely, yes.
“Yes.”
He doesn’t even give her time to change her mind (not that she would), before Ben grips her arms and pulled her into a rough kiss and this time, there’s no question that he’s the one that’s kissing her.
They stumble backwards towards the bed, separating only to pull shirts off and pants down and off, Leslie unhooking her bra as Ben slides his fingers through her folds, gauging her readiness.
Once the dark pink silky undergarment is flung towards the dresser, his lips are around a nipple, while his fingers continue to push and rub, making her even wetter. It’s when his teeth graze the side of her breast, starting to nibble and bite lightly, then harder, that Leslie rakes her nails down his chest and grasps at his cock, just a little rougher than usual.
Ben pulls back to look at her and yep…he still looks mad but not in an overly-aggressive way, and honestly, even Ben mad is not something that would cause her concern.
If anything, the edge to the way he grips at her, pinches and squeezes, uses his teeth is exciting.
Soon they’re on the bed, Leslie on top straddling him, but not sinking down yet, just leaning forward and working her mouth against the crook of his neck, but up higher above where the collar of his shirt would be. Biting and sucking, giving him the mother of all hickeys-let Ingrid check that out next time she wants some help with her budget disaster.
Ben seems to get what she’s doing and indulges her for a bit but then he grips her hips, squeezing tightly, digging his fingers in until she releases the skin on his neck.
He swiftly pulls her up and down, impaling her right onto his cock.
She’s so incredibly wet that he enters her easily and Leslie wastes no time in sitting up and riding him-at one point she leans down, holding his wrists up above his head, her nipples brushing against his chest with her movements.
They’re both moaning now.
It’s not long before Ben seems to remember he’s supposed to be pounding sense into her, and Leslie ends up on her back, her legs wrapped up high on his, and it feels so good that she doesn’t even care that he’s the one that’s fucking her. Her nails scratch down his back, and just like his neck, she kind of wants to mark him as hers.
And then he gets up close and whispers in her ear.
“Turn over.”
Fuck.
Well, actually, it’s more like a growled order when he says it and the words send a shiver all the way through her.
Ben slides out and moves back and when she doesn’t move fast enough, he just flips her over himself.
Leslie groans loudly and while she absolutely knows with every fiber of her being that if she said bluebird, that he would stop immediately, it’s…god, it’s so sexy and hot and even though it makes her feel a little weird, it turns her on all the more just thinking that she might have to say it.
When she’s on her stomach, Ben grips her hips again, pulls her up on her knees, and he slaps her ass.
First one cheek and then the other. He’s spanked her before playfully, but this is a lot harder than he typically does it, and instead of giggling like usual, she half yells and moans, her bottom stinging and her thighs and pussy completely soaked with her arousal.
In contrast to the sharp slaps, when he does push back into her, it’s so excruciatingly slow, his fingers digging into her hips lightly as he slides in inch by inch.
Usually they’re both very chatty during sex, there’s giggling and laughing and saying silly things but tonight, it’s mainly grunts, gasps, moans, and the noise of him just absolutely fucking her.
He’s so deep inside and it feels so good and when he starts playing with her clit, Leslie’s eyes snap shut.
She comes fast and hard and when she’s done, his hand moves back up, curls around her hip as he slams into her-pushing all of his frustration into her body. He comes soon after her, squeezing and pressing hard enough that Leslie wonders if she’ll have finger-shaped bruises in the morning.
Afterwards, she decides that she can probably get just as much work done in the bedroom as the living room and when they’re both in pajamas, Leslie settles on the bed next to him, her binders spread out.
“I’m still mad at you,” she tells him, but in a much softer tone than earlier.
“I’m still mad at you too,” he returns, but with just the briefest hint of a smile, before putting his headphones on and starting to watch cylons and humans battle again.
Later, when Leslie’s leg brushes up against his while she’s working, he doesn’t move away, but presses lightly back against hers.