A Bunch of Tumblr Drabbles - 2
Rating: From G - (light) R. Long and short ones. Who knows? In the order of being posted at tumblr.
Summary: 1. Sonia and Ben are sick, 2. Leslie takes Jenn Barkley's advice, 3. Leslie crafts a bunny tail, 4. Calzone pregnancy cravings, 5. the purple bridesmaid dress, 6. Leslie + Ben + Dc + handcuffs
1. Two P’s in a Pod
Ben & Girl, also Leslie
G
It’s like a mini-Flu Season 3
Note: I have to believe that this day also becomes Pun Day in celebration of girl's first pun.
Leslie comes home at lunch, quietly opening the front door and shutting it softly behind her.
"Ben?" She whispers.
If they’re asleep she doesn’t want to wake them up, but she really wants to check on them. Needs to check on them and make sure everything is okay. And also she brought her laptop home with her so she can spend the rest of the day working at home.
Today Leslie has learned this-that she can’t concentrate at the office at all when both her daughter and husband are all sick, helpless, and miserable at home.
"Ben," she tries again, a little louder.
The living room is darker than usual, the heavy drapes drawn closed. It’s just when she moves past the back of the couch that she sees them-Ben on his back, still in sweat pants and his old Letters to Cleo t-shirt, laying down on the couch, eyes closed, their small daughter in her pink and green plaid pajamas laying on her stomach on his chest, both asleep. Ben is snoring. And drooling just a little.
But oh, still so cute even when he’s sick and leaking.
She walks forward, planning on touching their foreheads, giving them quick kisses when her daughter opens her eyes.
"Mommy?"
"Hi honey. How are you feeling?" Leslie kneels down, strokes her four-year old daughter’s hair, then sweeps her hand across the little sweaty forehead. She’s still warm, but maybe not quite as hot as earlier.
"Can’t sleep. Daddy’s snuggles good but noisy."
"Yes, well…" Leslie agrees, trying not to laugh. "You want me to take you up to your room for a bit?"
The little blonde head shakes side to side against Ben’s chest. “Stay with daddy.”
"Okay, sweetie," Leslie answers, giving the side of her head a kiss and then moving her hand to Ben’s face. He’s still burning up.
"Hey, babe, hi," he says sleepily, opening his eyes. "Is it time for dinner?"
"No, I came home for lunch. Did the nanny take the boys…?"
"To Ramsett Park, I think," Ben finishes, wrapping his arm tighter around the little form on his chest. "Or maybe the Ram’s Butter Pork-does that make any sense?"
Leslie shakes her head no. Picks the cool, damp washcloth up from the floor and sets it on the coffee table next to the bottle of baby aspirin.
Ben shrugs, gestures his head towards his sleeping daughter. “How’s she doing?”
"She seems better. It’s you I’m worried about."
"I’m just resting. I’m fine. Watch this," he says and then closes his eyes. "I’m doing cartwheels," he jokes eventually, eyes still closed.
"Okay, you can be funny, that’s a good sign. Do you want me to take her upstairs?" Leslie asks him.
"No. She’s all warm. Like a little snuggle blanket," Ben responds.
"You two are weird," Leslie tells him, smiling, as she gathers the soft blonde hair from over the small, sleepy face and smooths it back again.
"Like two letter P's in a pod,” her daughter tells Leslie sleepily, not even bothering to open her eyes.
Ben laughs. “Hey, that’s a good one,” he holds her little hand up and high-fives it with his.
"Okay, my two weird little P’s, I’m going to heat up some soup for lunch.”
---
2. And Then We Will Go Home and Make Out on Our Couch (Leslie/Ben)
PG-13-ish
Notes: Cleaning out my document of started drabbles/fics. I don’t think this one is going anywhere else, but it kind of works as a short thing. So, I’ll post it.
“Be the woman who moves away, climbs the ladder, and then confidently comes back and has sex with her hot old English teacher just for kicks.” Post-ep for Second Chunce.
"So, wait. My name is Mr. Ellsner?" Ben stops kissing Leslie to pull back, even though his hand is still cupping her breast over her bra, thumb lazily rubbing back and forth across her nipple.
They’re in their house, after eating club sandwiches and waffles for lunch at JJs, although she had been too excited about their upcoming trip to Paris to eat much. After stumbling in their front door, kissing and unbuttoning along the way, they ended up just as Leslie had said they would in her press conference-making out on their couch.
"Yes," she tells him. She honestly hadn’t thought of her English teacher Mr. Ellsner in years, until her consultation with Jen Barkley earlier in the afternoon, in fact.
"And this is what Jen said to do?" He narrows his eyes at her.
"Yes, Ben. Well, kind of. Okay. It’s in the spirit of what she said. Do you want me to actually go find my old English teacher?"
"Um, no."
"I didn’t think so. I don’t either. I think he moved away? Or maybe he’s dead. I don’t know. This seems more productive. And easier."
"Are you calling me easy?" He asks with mock indignation.
"I’m calling you a sexy hot English teacher named Mr. Ellsner. But also, yes. You are pretty easy, honey."
Ben nods. “I am, ” he agrees, before getting into character. “Why, Leslie. I haven’t seen you in almost 20 years. Why are you unzipping my pants? This is very inappropriate, young lady,” he tells her in a weird, old man sounding voice she’s never heard before.
"Okay, babe. You need to be my hot English teacher, not a pervy, creepy grandfather-type."
"Oh gross. That’s not what I was going for," Ben says, while Leslie shakes her head and scrunches her eyes shut.
"Okay, wait. Stop. Let’s just start over," she says, shaking her arms out and rolling her neck from side to side, before letting one last "ewww,” out.
She takes a breath, sits up on the couch and moves Ben’s hand off her breast. “Mr. Ellsner, hello. I was in your Shakespeare class, senior year, Pawnee High.”
"Leslie Knope," he says with a grin. "I remember you."
"You do?"
"Of course I do. You’d sit in the first row and always take very detailed notes. Always paid attention in class. In fact, you were my best student."
"I did do that all of that," she responds, beaming. "I also had a huge crush on you."
"You did? Well, that is very serendipitous. I had a crush on you too. Well, by crush I mean I thought you were very cute and to be honest, and I know this is extremely inappropriate, you may have shown up in some school girl fantasies that I had late at night," he says, then frowns. "Is that too much?"
She stares at him. “No. Oh, okay, wow. That’s actually working.”
"Oh yeah?" Ben asks, moving closer and kissing her lips, sliding his hand back up to her chest. Leslie leans back against the couch cushions, as Ben settles between her spread thighs and unclasps her black satiny bra from the front.
"Yeah," she responds, grinding up into him.
"But this really doesn’t make any sense. You didn’t move away and come back. And although I’m very glad you decided not to run against Councilman Dexhart and we don’t have to move to a raccoon shantytown now, why am I pretending to be your old English teacher?" Ben asks.
Leslie shrugs, resumes unzipping his pants. “I just thought it would be fun.”
--
3. Bunny Tail
Leslie/Ann conversation
R (implied kinky stuff)
Ann lets herself into Leslie’s house with her key and is almost immediately greeted by her friend’s cheerful voice before she even gets the front door shut.
"Ann? Hi! I’m upstairs," Leslie shouts just as Ann’s wiping her feet on the doormat. "Come on up, I’ll be ready to go in a few minutes."
When Ann gets upstairs (stepping around piles as she goes), Leslie’s in her sewing room at her work table, finishing up what looks like a craft project. It’s almost the end of February, so maybe it’s for St. Patrick’s Day? Easter? A lot of times Leslie likes to get a head start on holiday projects. She always makes the cutest things - small plush scarecrows, valentine’s hearts, a Jack O’Lantern themed quit.
One time she even made an American history-themed Fourth of July diorama with the most amazing details, like Betsy Ross sewing a flag in one room and Benjamin Franklin flying a kite out in the yard.
"Oh, what is that?" Ann asks, walking closer and peering over Leslie’s shoulder. It looks cute-all white and fluffy.
Leslie holds up a poofy, white pom-pom, type ball. “Does this look like a bunny tail?”
"Yeah," Ann agrees, nodding her head. "That would make a perfect bunny tail. Are you working on something for the Easter Egg Hunt?"
"Good, that’s what I thought too. And no. No this is a personal project," Leslie says with a small laugh.
Then Ann watches as Leslie uses her hot glue gun to attach the tail to a…what? Ann frowns. “Is that…?”
"A purple butt plug?" Leslie asks, finishing her friend’s question. "Yes."
"Do I want to know why you’re hot glue gunning a fluffy bunny tail to the base of a butt plug?" But really, Ann has a pretty good idea, it just doesn’t hurt to get some clarification.
"Because it’ll look like I have a bunny tail," Leslie states matter-of-factly.
"Oh, right, of course," Ann agrees. "Leslie, why-"
"Ben found my bunny ears last week and he thought they were cute. And you know how stressed out he’s been during the campaign? So I drew on the nose and whiskers and wore the ears the other night, and we did it bunny-style,” Leslie says with a grin. “That’s like doggy-style, but with…well, we can talk about it at breakfast. But then I was thinking, I really need a tail. So…this is step one of Operation Bunny Tail.” She proudly holds the butt plug out in front of her. “I think this will work. What do you think? I’m just not sure if I should put it in first and be all ready, or let Ben add the tail?”
"Uhhh…" Ann starts. What exactly do you say in response to a question like this-especially at eight in the morning. One thing is sure, she needs coffee for this conversation.
It’s almost like Leslie reads her mind when she says, “Oh, we can talk about it at JJ’s. Plus, I want to run my healthy school lunch talking points by you. I have a few notes but I want to get your astute professional opinion,” before propping the bunny tailed-butt plug up to dry.
Ann stares at her best friend.
"Okay, let’s go! I need waffles and some breakfast lady-time with the most beautiful, noble, and insightful nurse and best friend in all of Pawnee," Leslie says as she walks by, giving Ann an affectionate squeeze on her arm as she passes.
---
4. Leslie Knope and the Secret Calzones
Leslie/Ben
PG
"Oh my god, I am so mad at you right now," she says before taking another bite and then chewing furiously, eyes closed. And if Ben didn’t know better, he’d guess that Leslie was very close to moaning, right at their dining room table during dinner. She usually only does that when chocolate is involved.
Well, as far as food goes.
"I know," Ben replies, but he can’t help but smile just a bit.
"How could you do this to me?"
"Well, it’s not like I planned this or that it’s actually my doing. It’s just an amusing side-effect."
Leslie takes another large bite from her plate, glaring at him while she eats.
"This is ridiculous Ben. Does it want to be picked up? Eaten with a fork? Who knows? It’s just…so completely pointless and confusing. But oh my god, it’s so incredibly, fucking delicious.”
He nods. “This is a really good batch. I used full-fat mozzarella and I put some sauteed cremini mushrooms in with the spinach. And oh, just a touch of fresh basil.”
"I can’t believe our children are making me eat a spinach and mushroom calzone. Spinach! That’s a…vegetable,” she tells him, her voice full of disdain. “And also that you’re enjoying it so much, you jerk. You can’t tell anyone about this.”
"Really? So I shouldn’t send out that press release that I wrote? But I already arranged that singing telegram for Ron, it may be too late to cancel that," he makes a point of looking like he’s trying to remember all of his Leslie-likes-calzones-now commitments. “Oh, and I’m supposed to go on Pawnee Today tomorrow to discuss…calzone-gate.”
"Ben," she says, trying not to laugh.
"Leslie, relax. I’m not going to tell anyone. Why would I even…Who would even care that you like calzones now?"
"You’re joking, right?"
"Um, no. That was serious. But if you find it this upsetting, I promise, I will never make calzones for dinner again," he gives her a smirk. "No matter how much you beg me to."
"Well, no. We don’t need to go that far. You did this to me and over the coming months you are going to keep me in secret calzones," she pauses. "And also lots and lots of sex. Basically, if you’re not in the kitchen with an apron on, you’re in the bedroom with your pants off," she teases--at least he thinks she’s teasing. He does actually have a job. "Got it?"
"Good lord, that sounds horrible," he says with a grin. "But I think I can manage. Hey, this weekend I was thinking of making calzones stuffed with mac and cheese." He decides not to mention the kale salad that’s going to accompany his latest calzone experiment.
"Mac and cheese calzone? You’re making that?" She asks, voice raised. And when she comes over and sits in his lap (she’s a bit slower getting up this time than that day in her office), he’s completely prepared for it, wraps his arms around her as she straddles him, and pulls her close for a spinach calzone-flavored kiss.
---
5. Lollipopping
Leslie/Ben
light R
Notes: drabble based on spoiler pics from filming 9/2014. It's just an outfit, so I'm not sure how spoliery it is, but there you go. Also, I re-worked the parts of this that were still bothering me, so it's different from the original Tumblr post. Hopefully, I'm done messing with it now.
"Well, what do you think?"
Ben looks up from his laptop and takes in her appearance as Leslie walks into the dining room. She’s in a strapless, purple flowing dress and her hair is pulled back into a sloppy pony tail. As she walks towards him, the dress kind of swishes across their hardwood floors.
"Wow. That’s it?" he gets up from the table, meets her in the middle of their dining room.
"Yeah. But picture it with better hair. And heels. So it won’t drag on the ground when I wear it for real. And I’ll probably look less tired."
"Well, I think you look beautiful right now. And your hair is looking cute too."
She tilts her head and smiles warmly at him. “Well also, picture my hair without the cheese sauce in it.”
Ben laughs. “Yeah, I think they got me too.” he looks down on his shirt, shows her the faded orange sauce stain on his side. He meant to change out of it after dinner, but then kind of got side-tracked by bath time craziness.
"I don’t know how I’m going to manage to keep this clean before I have to wear it next week. We’ll have to hide it way back in the closet."
He nods. “That’s where I keep my tux.”
"I can’t believe how many times you’ve had to wear that recently."
"I know, right? So, now that you’ve tried the dress on and made sure it looks amazing, you should take it off. Oh, hey, here’s an idea-do you need any help with that?"
Leslie gives him a smile. “I think I can manage. But you can certainly help if you want,” she starts to walk away but he grabs her hand, gently tugs her back towards him.
"Or…" he walks her back towards the dining room table, next to where his laptop is open. He grips her waist, guiding her so that she’s sitting right next to his Mac. Then he moves in between her legs.
Leslie’s lips are soft against his and soon his hands are wandering over her hips and back, while she uses her calves to push his hips into hers.
"Why don’t I take a quick look under the dress?" He asks with a grin, after they break apart.
"Quick?" Leslie asks.
"Well, the amount of time I spend under there really depends on you and how fast you can-"
"Ben, your children eat at this table," she teases.
"You mean the children I put in you?
"Stop," Leslie chastises lightly, but not before groaning slightly at his words.
"What?"
"You know how turned on I get when you talk like that.”
"You do? I did not at all know that," Ben feigns innocence, while he starts to find the bottom of the dress. With all of the flowing material, it takes him a few seconds.
He moves back a few inches, runs his hand along her bare foot, making her giggle, then starts to slide it up her leg, pulling the flouncy purple fabric up as he goes.
"Come on. We shouldn’t…"
"What?"
"I have to wear this dress soon. It’s important. We can’t get it dirty," she tells him.
"Are you suggesting that there’s going to be some sort of a Clinton/Lewinsky situation here with this dress."
Leslie lightly slaps at his arm, gives him a look.
"Sorry. I know. That’s not funny," he responds.
"It’s not, Ben. We don’t joke about that. Even if the situation you’re suggesting would…kind of make you Monica," she says, trying not to laugh.
"God, you’re right," he shakes his head. "You know, just once, I’d like to be the president."
Leslie gives him a quick kiss. “How about this. I’ll go upstairs, get out of this dress, jump in the shower and wash my hair, and then you can be whichever president you want. We just have to be quiet.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Kennedy?”
"Sounds good, Mr. President" she agrees in a breathy, sexy voice.
"Oh! Wait. No, I want to be Gaius Baltar-he was was elected president of the Twelve Colonies. That counts. You can be Six."
"Is that…Battlestar Galactica?" She guesses.
"Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll walk you through it."
Leslie smiles and gets down from the dark wooden table, starts to head towards the stairs.
"Oh shit. Babe, come back here."
"What?"
"Turn around," he makes a spinning motion with his finger.
"What? What happened," she asks, starting to panic.
"No, it’s okay, just…Okay, I got it." He pulls something from the back her dress. "There was a grape lollipop kind of stuck back here on your butt. Well, that’s convenient-same color, you can’t even really tell."
She spins around, sees him holding up the half-eaten sucker. “Except that my ass is going to have a sticky spot and…wait. The kids didn’t have any lollipops tonight,” Leslie gives him a confused look.
"No, it wasn’t one of them," he says, pausing, trying not to laugh. "I’m pretty sure this was you. After we put them to bed? Remember? Then Ann called and you must have set it down when you were talking to her.”
"Crap on a corn cob-I lollipopped myself again.”
"Yeah but it actually could have been worse. I could have set my new laptop down on that."
---
6. Ben and Leslie in DC
PG-ish
"Ben!"
He looks up at her, concerned at her outburst. “What? What’s wrong?”
"You can’t do that."
"Why not?"
"No. No tickling! No tickling feet."
He grins at her. “But can I tickle you here?” He asks, while moving up her legs, settling his hands on her thighs and sliding his fingers over her skin as she squirms.
Leslie starts to…kind of squeal and his hands continue to tickle around her hips and stomach. And then she spreads her legs, trying to encourage him to move his hands between her thighs. He doesn’t and she sighs, pulls against her restraints while he looks on and smirks.
"Problem?"
"You’re enjoying this too much."
"What? Having my hot, amazing girlfriend visit me in DC and let me handcuff her to my bed? I’d say that I’m enjoying this just the right amount. Besides, you were the one who mailed the handcuffs to me in one of the boxes last week."
"I miss you," she says suddenly. Because really all of the phone calls, the emails, the texts, and the Skype are absolutely no substitute for this-Ben and her in the same room, laughing, touching, being naked together.
Ben smiles at her. “I miss you too. But we have all weekend, so let’s not do that yet. Right now I’m not missing you at all.”