life lessons
my biggest lesson to ever learn is the fact that people don't like you for the things you do or like. or, more accurately, "you are more than the sum of what you consume". i'm still holding on to some outdated high school mentality that if i like the right bands or act the right way, people will like me for that, or at least be attracted to me because of that. i expect people to fawn over me because i fancy myself giving off some cool-guy "rock and roll" image. it's total bullshit, and i'm really only starting to realize it now, fucking 10 years out of high school. kind of sad.
i guess the reason i've been holding on to that for so long is the fact that what really attracts people to you is personality, and i have a horrible personality. i'm completely anti-social to anyone that i don't know well, and once i know people well, i treat them like garbage. i feel absolutely horrible about the way i've treated some of my greatest friends. i take far too many things for granted and just assume everyone will bend over backwards for me like i'm some sort of princess.
just doing a lot of thinking lately, considering mistakes and trying to make myself a better person. i don't know if it's working or not.
i guess the reason i've been holding on to that for so long is the fact that what really attracts people to you is personality, and i have a horrible personality. i'm completely anti-social to anyone that i don't know well, and once i know people well, i treat them like garbage. i feel absolutely horrible about the way i've treated some of my greatest friends. i take far too many things for granted and just assume everyone will bend over backwards for me like i'm some sort of princess.
just doing a lot of thinking lately, considering mistakes and trying to make myself a better person. i don't know if it's working or not.