my mouth tastes like blood. that's cute.
so i guess i'm pretty bored. not much to do right now, that i feel like. i don't like writing in here but fuck me. well, today was quite boring, but good. got the hair cut that i was craving. momma and i got um auntie annies or whatev. then i got some pants because i needed some. i don't care about today. yesterday was not a waste. it would have been if i didn't do exactly everything i did, which was a combo of anger and boredom. i guess that addorall truly does make me feel depressed, as it is dying off. i hate it more than fake cotton balls. it was so dreadfully annoying- as soon as i figured that i felt so terrible, up pops this stupid cable man. i hate him for life. he acted so lame to me. so cocky. he knocked on my door and went "knock knock!" in one of those cheesy 70's host guy voices. ew i was like "k, now is a good time to leave..." uh..
so i started walking up to white oak shopping center
then i was like no, and turned around, and started walking to school.
then i started a short cut up to the mall.
i like going to the mall by myself. especially on some occasions, but eh- at first i wasn't feeling like it. i basically just sat in a chair for maybe.. an hour? and watched people walk by. it was fun. calming. omg. they took all the water out of the center fountain, and at one of the ends of the mall, the fountain is guarded by that gayass train LOL! i think the mall people are getting uber anal about kids and the fountains. i wonder if allison and i digging for money in those nasty things had anything to do with it. we made almost 2 dollars about a week ago because we were hungry, fyi. some moron lady told on us and the police were questioning us. i was all honest and al just stood there hesitating and thinking. good thing they didn't care. um it's been awhile since we hung out. -_- oh yeah, but back to yesterday. after i sat in a chair being a useless body, i went to boarders and read for a couple hours. it was funno. i saw flannery. before it got dark, i called my mom and she picked me up.
cable's up now. blah. idk what's goin on lately. i just got done watching bowling for columbine. i love that movie. i'm so highly annoyed at a certain boy. psh why did i bother? typical. it's so funny how i'm eyeing people lately. i never really cared about boys- i mean, like i never wanted to get to know a boy just by seeing him. i keep checking people out LOL i guess i want some lovin’
(by the way, if that sounded gross and/or reminded you of mcdonalds in some way or another, good.)
if i didn't have people talking right now to me, i would be able to think a lot more fluently. a lot of nights i just can't think at all. i can think tonight, but i know that if i start, i won't stop. i know i should keep writing because it'll make me feel better but i might not waste my time.
i feel like everyone is ignoring me latley.
grandparents came over this morning. mom made ruben sandwiches. they were so excellent. every day in the past week, i have been waking up 5-7am. except for today, i woke up at 7 but made myself go back to sleep until 11 because i hate waiting around all day to do something. it gets boring. the only reason i was waking up so early is because i kept passing out around 5-9pm. makes sense, but i think i'm ruining the nice little routine i was creating. fuck routines, but it was nice while it lasted. i could never do that every day. hung out with alex, brenden, jon, joe, and some kid named brad the other day. hung out with ian and his friends other days. some mike, no allison. i miss her but i'm kind of annoyed with her -_- it's no fun. i wonder what i'm going to do tomorrow. i hate how yesterday i called alex like "wanna do something" but he had guitar practice at 5 and annie was over and i could tell by the sound of their voices that they didn't want to hang out. i was so fucking bored too. seriously, that cable guy made me so angry.
a lot of funny things have happened lately. and gross things. lots of ironic things also, to the point of freakishness. there's a sparkle on my floor and it shines so bright. i hope no one ever picks it up. if someone does it trying to be friendly, i'm going to have a silent awkward "i hate you but i know you can't tell" moment. i need to paint my nails so badly. they remind me of ugly starving black crows. my room, being in the basement, is so cold. i shivered last night. i tried to sleep earlier but i felt so uncomfortable. the sleep was forced too, i wasn't tired enough. falling asleep when i'm tired is fucking so nice. i'm not use to doing it a lot. sleeping irregularity is starting to become a big problem.
when i saw the letter from school in the mail, i wanted someone to pee on it and give it back to school. fuck this, why is it comming back? it's still summer. leave it alone, you stupid cunts. taking pictures is going to be quite a laugh. my schedule seriously better fucking not suck because i have been stuck with the worst schedules ev in the past couple years. fuck the fucking ogt. when i took the math one, i answered like 7 questions, decided it was too boring and not worth my time, and filled the rest of the answers in as C. i didn't care if i failed it, i figured i could just do the math one again next year. of course i failed it- i wouldn't have fucking done that if i knew I HAD TO TAKE A FUCKING CLASS FOR FAILING IT NEXT YEAR! i'm going to be stuck in some room with fuckers who are incapable of thinking and people i hate and teachers babying me. i HATE WHEN TEACHERS BABY ME. HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE. i deserve it, but it just fucking completely sucks. hello brainless careless fgts. i hate school.
hair salon people always try to make friendly casual talk with you like they care. wtf, they do like 4398573948 people's hair, they don't care about your family, or if you like school, or what you're about. i wish they just wouldn't talk. i hate talking to people i don't know. especially when i know i have to, then i know that i might as well be friendly and it feels so fake. awkward and lame. i could never be that friendly. i don't know how they do it. i should just do my own hair, but i like having the satisfaction of feeling that it was done right. i mess hair up. it's not my specialty when it comes to cutting it.
i hate how i said i wouldn't write and then i kept on writing about nothing important. useless. i'm gonna get going now.
on another note, i love power. the power of controlling things. it's almost humorous sometimes.
so i started walking up to white oak shopping center
then i was like no, and turned around, and started walking to school.
then i started a short cut up to the mall.
i like going to the mall by myself. especially on some occasions, but eh- at first i wasn't feeling like it. i basically just sat in a chair for maybe.. an hour? and watched people walk by. it was fun. calming. omg. they took all the water out of the center fountain, and at one of the ends of the mall, the fountain is guarded by that gayass train LOL! i think the mall people are getting uber anal about kids and the fountains. i wonder if allison and i digging for money in those nasty things had anything to do with it. we made almost 2 dollars about a week ago because we were hungry, fyi. some moron lady told on us and the police were questioning us. i was all honest and al just stood there hesitating and thinking. good thing they didn't care. um it's been awhile since we hung out. -_- oh yeah, but back to yesterday. after i sat in a chair being a useless body, i went to boarders and read for a couple hours. it was funno. i saw flannery. before it got dark, i called my mom and she picked me up.
cable's up now. blah. idk what's goin on lately. i just got done watching bowling for columbine. i love that movie. i'm so highly annoyed at a certain boy. psh why did i bother? typical. it's so funny how i'm eyeing people lately. i never really cared about boys- i mean, like i never wanted to get to know a boy just by seeing him. i keep checking people out LOL i guess i want some lovin’
(by the way, if that sounded gross and/or reminded you of mcdonalds in some way or another, good.)
if i didn't have people talking right now to me, i would be able to think a lot more fluently. a lot of nights i just can't think at all. i can think tonight, but i know that if i start, i won't stop. i know i should keep writing because it'll make me feel better but i might not waste my time.
i feel like everyone is ignoring me latley.
grandparents came over this morning. mom made ruben sandwiches. they were so excellent. every day in the past week, i have been waking up 5-7am. except for today, i woke up at 7 but made myself go back to sleep until 11 because i hate waiting around all day to do something. it gets boring. the only reason i was waking up so early is because i kept passing out around 5-9pm. makes sense, but i think i'm ruining the nice little routine i was creating. fuck routines, but it was nice while it lasted. i could never do that every day. hung out with alex, brenden, jon, joe, and some kid named brad the other day. hung out with ian and his friends other days. some mike, no allison. i miss her but i'm kind of annoyed with her -_- it's no fun. i wonder what i'm going to do tomorrow. i hate how yesterday i called alex like "wanna do something" but he had guitar practice at 5 and annie was over and i could tell by the sound of their voices that they didn't want to hang out. i was so fucking bored too. seriously, that cable guy made me so angry.
a lot of funny things have happened lately. and gross things. lots of ironic things also, to the point of freakishness. there's a sparkle on my floor and it shines so bright. i hope no one ever picks it up. if someone does it trying to be friendly, i'm going to have a silent awkward "i hate you but i know you can't tell" moment. i need to paint my nails so badly. they remind me of ugly starving black crows. my room, being in the basement, is so cold. i shivered last night. i tried to sleep earlier but i felt so uncomfortable. the sleep was forced too, i wasn't tired enough. falling asleep when i'm tired is fucking so nice. i'm not use to doing it a lot. sleeping irregularity is starting to become a big problem.
when i saw the letter from school in the mail, i wanted someone to pee on it and give it back to school. fuck this, why is it comming back? it's still summer. leave it alone, you stupid cunts. taking pictures is going to be quite a laugh. my schedule seriously better fucking not suck because i have been stuck with the worst schedules ev in the past couple years. fuck the fucking ogt. when i took the math one, i answered like 7 questions, decided it was too boring and not worth my time, and filled the rest of the answers in as C. i didn't care if i failed it, i figured i could just do the math one again next year. of course i failed it- i wouldn't have fucking done that if i knew I HAD TO TAKE A FUCKING CLASS FOR FAILING IT NEXT YEAR! i'm going to be stuck in some room with fuckers who are incapable of thinking and people i hate and teachers babying me. i HATE WHEN TEACHERS BABY ME. HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE. i deserve it, but it just fucking completely sucks. hello brainless careless fgts. i hate school.
hair salon people always try to make friendly casual talk with you like they care. wtf, they do like 4398573948 people's hair, they don't care about your family, or if you like school, or what you're about. i wish they just wouldn't talk. i hate talking to people i don't know. especially when i know i have to, then i know that i might as well be friendly and it feels so fake. awkward and lame. i could never be that friendly. i don't know how they do it. i should just do my own hair, but i like having the satisfaction of feeling that it was done right. i mess hair up. it's not my specialty when it comes to cutting it.
i hate how i said i wouldn't write and then i kept on writing about nothing important. useless. i'm gonna get going now.
on another note, i love power. the power of controlling things. it's almost humorous sometimes.