going completely out of my mind
So i havent updated in like 10 months or something crazy like that, but i kinda miss it. Especially the being able to organize my thoughts part of writing in here. The past 10 months have been crazy to say the least. I dont think hardly anyone i talk to regularly is ever on here anymore. And the only people that i think i would care not to see this would be kayne.
Well the past ten months... First week of school i got diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Not something we expected since alot of the symptomology is GI symptoms, and my wonderful issues seemed to point more towards lupis. I went on a buttload of medicines including one immunomodulating drug, 6mp, that lowered my white count. We messed with the dosage for a while and i was getting bloodwork every week, sometimes every three days. Needless to say my mother was driving me mad. Then i also went on another immunomodulating drug, remicade, that is an IV infusion every 8 weeks. Initially though i had to do infusions at 0,2,4, and finally 6 weeks apart. Now im at every 8 weeks. This one wipes me out for the whole day, all i want to do is sleep. So all of this went on first semester, and all i wanted to do was sleep. I ended the semester with a 3.07 gpa. Which blows. I got a C+ in chemistry which murdered my gpa so i decided to retake it over the summer.
Second semester i ended with a 3.20, better but still sucky.
I finally got taken off of the 6mp in may and have gained weight over the past 6 months. I guess im healthier. I'm not anemic anymore, and a lot of the joint pain has dissapeared. My doctor wants to keep me on the remicade indefinitely though. Which is mildly upsetting, because its expensive and it puts me at risk for a multitude of cancers. I will be off of it though by the time i have a family, because theres too many risks being on it and having kids, but thats at least 10 years.
Also im an idiot. I should not open my own bills. My mom tells me that shes not taking the calls from the hospital because she doesnt want to have to make a payment plan, so im like okay.. Initially when i went on the remicade she told me that the insurance was only going to cover about half of the cost, and that we were going to have to pay about 1,000 per dose out of pocket. So to date ive had about ten infusions. So you can imagine what im thinking. Also ive had to apply for a loan for school, and the first one i did (last year) i got screwed over with a 12.25% interest rate, and i had to borrow 6,000$ from my grandparents. So now i apply for a loan for this year, and i have to do a private student loan so i can include the 6 grand i owe my grandparents. I applyed for a chase loan, and got conditionally approved with a 13% variable interest rate. NO THANK YOU. So i applyed for a sallie mae loan and got turned down. I was debating on going to financial aid to see if i could get more cash from the school, but i told my mother and she was like no no no no no it wont work blah blah blah. I was thinking of using the medical bills as an out to see if they will give me help, but she said that we need to have proof that we are paying it out of pocket. This also is my mom not wanting to look at how much we owe. I confronted her a while ago about how much we owe them, saying look its got to be close to 8,000$ by now and she was like no no no, no way is it that high. Im like are you on crack?! So stupid me goes home this weekend and goes digging through the mail and picks out everything addressed to me. I opened the wonderful past due notice from the hospital only to see that i have a balance of 8,976.25$ and that they want a 1,500$ payment like 2 months ago. Yay me..
So now im sitting in summer school. Aced my first test, highest grade in the class. Got buttraped by the one today. yay..
Anyway, i cut and dyed my hair like 3 or 4 weeks before school ended. I loved it, is too long now and im going to re-dye it soon, actually im staring at the box of hair dye now haha.
3 days after finals ended i broke up with kayne. I just got to the point where i couldnt deal with the pointless fights anymore. And i was really sick of having to put such a huge amount of effort into a relationship and then have nothing back. It didnt really go that great. But im over it for the most part, i couldnt get back into the relationship now.
Ive been talking alot with this one guy that really likes me, i think i like him too. But i dont know, sometimes we talk like nonstop, and other times its like he doesnt want to have anything to do with me. Rawr i hate boys. But whatever nothing is going to happen till school starts anyway.
Gah so i guess i have to go study. I kinda cant bomb another test haha.
Hopefully ill be able to update this more often haha.
Well the past ten months... First week of school i got diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Not something we expected since alot of the symptomology is GI symptoms, and my wonderful issues seemed to point more towards lupis. I went on a buttload of medicines including one immunomodulating drug, 6mp, that lowered my white count. We messed with the dosage for a while and i was getting bloodwork every week, sometimes every three days. Needless to say my mother was driving me mad. Then i also went on another immunomodulating drug, remicade, that is an IV infusion every 8 weeks. Initially though i had to do infusions at 0,2,4, and finally 6 weeks apart. Now im at every 8 weeks. This one wipes me out for the whole day, all i want to do is sleep. So all of this went on first semester, and all i wanted to do was sleep. I ended the semester with a 3.07 gpa. Which blows. I got a C+ in chemistry which murdered my gpa so i decided to retake it over the summer.
Second semester i ended with a 3.20, better but still sucky.
I finally got taken off of the 6mp in may and have gained weight over the past 6 months. I guess im healthier. I'm not anemic anymore, and a lot of the joint pain has dissapeared. My doctor wants to keep me on the remicade indefinitely though. Which is mildly upsetting, because its expensive and it puts me at risk for a multitude of cancers. I will be off of it though by the time i have a family, because theres too many risks being on it and having kids, but thats at least 10 years.
Also im an idiot. I should not open my own bills. My mom tells me that shes not taking the calls from the hospital because she doesnt want to have to make a payment plan, so im like okay.. Initially when i went on the remicade she told me that the insurance was only going to cover about half of the cost, and that we were going to have to pay about 1,000 per dose out of pocket. So to date ive had about ten infusions. So you can imagine what im thinking. Also ive had to apply for a loan for school, and the first one i did (last year) i got screwed over with a 12.25% interest rate, and i had to borrow 6,000$ from my grandparents. So now i apply for a loan for this year, and i have to do a private student loan so i can include the 6 grand i owe my grandparents. I applyed for a chase loan, and got conditionally approved with a 13% variable interest rate. NO THANK YOU. So i applyed for a sallie mae loan and got turned down. I was debating on going to financial aid to see if i could get more cash from the school, but i told my mother and she was like no no no no no it wont work blah blah blah. I was thinking of using the medical bills as an out to see if they will give me help, but she said that we need to have proof that we are paying it out of pocket. This also is my mom not wanting to look at how much we owe. I confronted her a while ago about how much we owe them, saying look its got to be close to 8,000$ by now and she was like no no no, no way is it that high. Im like are you on crack?! So stupid me goes home this weekend and goes digging through the mail and picks out everything addressed to me. I opened the wonderful past due notice from the hospital only to see that i have a balance of 8,976.25$ and that they want a 1,500$ payment like 2 months ago. Yay me..
So now im sitting in summer school. Aced my first test, highest grade in the class. Got buttraped by the one today. yay..
Anyway, i cut and dyed my hair like 3 or 4 weeks before school ended. I loved it, is too long now and im going to re-dye it soon, actually im staring at the box of hair dye now haha.
3 days after finals ended i broke up with kayne. I just got to the point where i couldnt deal with the pointless fights anymore. And i was really sick of having to put such a huge amount of effort into a relationship and then have nothing back. It didnt really go that great. But im over it for the most part, i couldnt get back into the relationship now.
Ive been talking alot with this one guy that really likes me, i think i like him too. But i dont know, sometimes we talk like nonstop, and other times its like he doesnt want to have anything to do with me. Rawr i hate boys. But whatever nothing is going to happen till school starts anyway.
Gah so i guess i have to go study. I kinda cant bomb another test haha.
Hopefully ill be able to update this more often haha.