My Descent Into Idiocy
So, I'm really glad this film got an 82% rating at Rotten Tomatoes.
I'm glad that I'm making this entry simply because of a movie.
I'm glad that I used 99 minutes of my time to watch this AMAZING! movie.
In fact, I am so happy with this movie, that I was inspired to create art that relates to it.
I am so glad that apparantly the PROFESSIONAL critics who "reviewed" this movie were actually getting paid to go to the theme park of their choice, drink at some bar, pay their bills, attend a Steely Dan concert or something even more exciting. I mean there's no way that someone who actually watched this movie could say:
"Taut direction and convincing performances impart a terrifying sense of claustrophobia and isolation." -- M. K. Terrell
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR
"[Marshall] expertly maps out those raw nerve endings while creating credible characters who speak and act like real people rather than the usual horror archetypes." -- Michael Rechtshaffen HOLLYWOOD REPORTER
"An object lesson in making a tightly-budgeted, no-star horror pic work through razor-sharp technique and committed performances alone." -- Derek Elley VARIETY
"Soap opera performances, a script of supreme inanity and a totality of celluloid that's about as innovative and fresh as the shit that no longer exists on the bottom of my rotting baby diapers from 25 years ago." -- Josh
Only one of the above 4 reviews is even remotely accurate.
And just so I don't come off too one-sided (too late, I know), I can give credit to some of the score, eye-gouging and 3 scenes that made my stomach turn slightly.
And that's the sum of it all.
I'm glad that I'm making this entry simply because of a movie.
I'm glad that I used 99 minutes of my time to watch this AMAZING! movie.
In fact, I am so happy with this movie, that I was inspired to create art that relates to it.
I am so glad that apparantly the PROFESSIONAL critics who "reviewed" this movie were actually getting paid to go to the theme park of their choice, drink at some bar, pay their bills, attend a Steely Dan concert or something even more exciting. I mean there's no way that someone who actually watched this movie could say:
"Taut direction and convincing performances impart a terrifying sense of claustrophobia and isolation." -- M. K. Terrell
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR
"[Marshall] expertly maps out those raw nerve endings while creating credible characters who speak and act like real people rather than the usual horror archetypes." -- Michael Rechtshaffen HOLLYWOOD REPORTER
"An object lesson in making a tightly-budgeted, no-star horror pic work through razor-sharp technique and committed performances alone." -- Derek Elley VARIETY
"Soap opera performances, a script of supreme inanity and a totality of celluloid that's about as innovative and fresh as the shit that no longer exists on the bottom of my rotting baby diapers from 25 years ago." -- Josh
Only one of the above 4 reviews is even remotely accurate.
And just so I don't come off too one-sided (too late, I know), I can give credit to some of the score, eye-gouging and 3 scenes that made my stomach turn slightly.
And that's the sum of it all.