(no subject)
i must be going crazy. lately i have just very emotional and i dont want to be here anymore. i hate school...it reminds me a lot of adam. why is always on my mind? he doesnt like me. i know this. sure he can hi to me...but i dont want him too. what i really want is another story and should never happen again. its funny there are other guys interested me...at least i am told so, why do i push them away? am i suppose to be alone? i want to go away...far far away. i need to clear my head. get some fresh air. i dont understand why i feel so depressed? i have truly dont have anything to be depressed about. im so tired. all the time. i want to run fast again. i dont want to hurt anymore. i dont want to think about adam. i dont understand why he is still in my head. i seriously think i am going f-ing crazy. i hate love. love has done nothing for me. it makes me hurt. it makes me cry. i feel like crying right now. how do you know when your depressed? oh damn it..i am talking to nobody anyway. im going to bed, i have a track meet tomorrow. like i matter...im not every good. i dont think im good at anything. i really need to get away from midland. i hate this place. i hate everything about it. i want to leave! leave for good. disappear. nobody would miss me anyway. im a terrible friend. i am terrible. i dont think that i have ever liked myself. ever. what is there to like about me? im overweight. i cant run well. i drive people away from me. i just dont know anymore. i really dont think there is a meaning to my life.