oooh, emotionally taxing few weeks
so today i went over and spent a few hours at Matt's parents house. his mom had wanted to give me some of his stuff, and she wanted some pictures i had taken of Matt when he was home last year. she gave me some clothes, one of his old hacky sacs, some pictures, an album, a piece of his pottery, and his snow board and boots. it was really nice to sit down with her and just talk for a while. oh man... i held in all the tears till i left, so i was kinda proud of myself haha. im wearing a pair of his sleep pants right now. i wish they smelled more like him.... his smell is there, but its pretty faint. the smell of wooden closet shelfs is pretty overwhelming.
i miss him so fucking much... i just cant stand it... every time i think "ok, he is gone, there is nothing i can do, i cant fix it... i can handle it....", i remember that i cant...at all......
its been three months and i still feel like i think about him every day... there is always something that reminds me of him, and i get this sunken feeling in my stomach. i just miss him so much.......
i miss him so fucking much... i just cant stand it... every time i think "ok, he is gone, there is nothing i can do, i cant fix it... i can handle it....", i remember that i cant...at all......
its been three months and i still feel like i think about him every day... there is always something that reminds me of him, and i get this sunken feeling in my stomach. i just miss him so much.......