Christmas from the outside
Whenever non-Jews ask me about my conversion to Judaism one of the most common concerns is how I could have ever given up Christmas. From the tone of their voices, I get the impression that they view this as the ultimate sacrifice. After all, unlike people who were born Jewish, I’ve actually celebrated the holiday. I even grew up in a house with a Christmas tree. I remember the joy of the holiday and the thrill of the gift giving and yet it wasn’t enough to prevent me from converting away from Christianity. It all seems unimaginable to them, and yet it’s really not an issue for me.
First, let me clarify the fact that I don’t have any feeling of hostility towards the Christmas holiday. I’ve never suffered any great trauma on Christmas that I’m trying to bury in the depths of my psyche. I have plenty of other neurosis to keep my psyche busy. In fact, I have wonderful memories of my childhood Christmas experiences. I like looking at Christmas trees and spent a pleasant hour this evening driving around looking at lights with my Mother. However, I must confess that I do get a little tired of the music, and the excessive gift giving leaves me weary.
The reality is that I really haven’t given much of anything up when it comes to Christmas. It’s virtually impossible to live in American society and not have your life impacted in some way by the holiday season. Granted I don’t have a Christmas tree in my house, but every Jew I know participates in the larger society where office or social holiday parties are the holiday custom. Given the high rate of intermarriage in the American Jewish community, most Jews have at least one or two non-Jewish relatives who celebrate the holiday, so there’s a lot of Jewish gift giving going on.
What is different for me, and what I truly have given up, is the fact that I now sit on the outside of the holiday looking in. While I may take part in the holiday celebrations, and even find myself immersed in a culture which adores Christmas, it’s no longer my holiday. I visit Christmas like one would visit an old neighborhood. It all looks familiar, but it’s not home anymore. In fact, it often looks quite different than I remember.
What you see when you look at Christmas from the outside, especially after having been an insider for many years, is a very bizarre holiday that is absolutely contradictory on many levels. First of all, it’s a celebration of the most sacred event in Christian theology, yet there is really very little that’s religious about the holiday. The date isn’t mentioned in the Bible, nor is there any Biblical instruction for its celebration. Any Jew will tell you that people are always inviting you to take part in the celebration on the basis that there’s nothing religious about the holiday. Then there’s the gift giving. People say it’s the thought that counts, not the gift. Yet, as any child sitting on Santa’s lap will immediately tell you, the gift matters. Christmas is done large in America from the excessive gift giving, to the over the top light displays, to the extravagant holiday parties. Maybe the thought is what matters, but more often our generosity is measured not by thoughts, but by excess.
I’m at a loss to explain the whole Santa Clause thing. Maybe he’s supposed to be some kind of reincarnated Jesus figure in a red suit. After all, he has all these magical powers that allow him to fly around in a sled pulled by reindeer. As every child soon learns, Santa also knows the secrets of children’s behavior and rewards them appropriately. He’s like this completely secular aspect of the holiday that’s somehow bestowed with divine powers. Of course, as children grow up and learn that he’s completely fictional parents are often dismayed when the children become skeptical about the whole Jesus and G-d thing. I guess the parents miss the parallels.
My house doesn’t have a Christmas tree, which seems very normal to me these days. Indeed, my house is my refuge from all the holiday chaos. I see plenty of Christmas trees as I go about my business during the holiday season. There’s one in the middle of the Courthouse that stands several stories tall and is covered with red bows that I really like. So far my office remains a Christmas tree free zone, but I’m sure that’s only a matter of time. My Mother always has a small artificial tree that she keeps on a table next to a dancing penguin display that sings Christmas tunes. I really like enjoying other people’s trees, and am so grateful that I don’t have to put up my own. I can just play with other people’s trees and then hand them back when the needles begin to shed.
In a way, that’s really my perspective these days. I like to watch the holiday season, partake in some of its social aspects, but I’m happiest not to have to actually do the holiday season. When I think about the spirit of the season, that is, concern for your fellow man, an effort for kindness and generosity, I realize that I’ve adopted a tradition where those concerns are never ending and not confined to one portion of the year. As a Jew I’m commanded to care for the homeless every day, to visit the sick whenever possible, to give charity, and to always strive to make the world a better place. If you look at Christmas from that perspective, maybe there are Jewish elements to it? After all, Jesus was Jewish, why shouldn’t his birthday be celebrated in a Jewish manner? Latke anyone?