whens going to be my time?
well today was a shitty one my family was fighting at my grandmas calling. my life it iat its lowest of low. whale shit aint go nothing on this motherfucker. my friends, the only two i call friends are helping me during this time in my life. so i am going to miss the funeral and piss off some people but i have a test to take for the best job a dumb ass college drop out can get. for all that give a fuck its $13.00 an hour with a dollar raise every since months and a max out at $20.00. i get great benefits and all that shit but i am going to be an american working for the damn japs. im not racist i drive a honda. so i hope to be fucking set for quite sometime. hours are going to be terrible, something around 48+ a week but shit for a single guy with a few friends in chitown and one who will be working with me. i think life will be on the up and up. i really need to get back in school so i can start my business and work for myself. myself and my best man bud travis are going to do soemthing together and become rich and watch the world pass by. talks of rejoining the army when my suspension is up have been in my mind. it seemed more people talked to me when i was gone so why not do it again. but then i might not be able to come home when the rest of my family dies. shitty thing to say i know but i have lost 7 this year. in other news i cant keep a steady girlfriend because im too fucked up to care about anyone at the time. or that is what i keep telling myself at least. there is someone but under the circumstances she is in it makes it hard to see her. she is great and im happy when i get to talk to her. which at sometimes it can be quite some time before that happens. i am here talking over my thoughts with my one friend that will never leave... bud light, and my mr. t action figure who only has one leg and his head falls off. i have one question for who every controls the shitty world that i live, when do i get a fucking break? that has fucking been the question i ask myself too many times a day. yet to be answered but the son of a bitch but i guess it will hit me when i just dont give a fuck. hmm that could be right now. but its not going to happen. i dont think this power knows what to do with me but it is showing me the way in a very fucked up manner. how can life be so hard sometimes? enough of this shit there is you update for all that read my bud light babble to all that dont care to read fuck off and i wish my life on you.