And then, I beat Wes Craven to death with a flaming Joel Schumacher...
I was so angry, so ready to vent the frustration of pissing away five hard-earned bucks to watch a movie I figured would suck anyway-- but, I didn't expect the painful, ass-raping I got when I'd finished the harrowing journey that was the steaming pile of corn-nut-encrusted-fecal-flop-patty called "The Breed".
Let me start by saying that when it comes to contemporary Hollywood horror films, I've got pretty low expectations but HOLY FLAMING BABY JESUS, can't even a horror film legend like Wes Craven get it right anymore!?! I will admit that I was very pleasantly surprised by "The Feast", but everything that's had Craven's name attached to it since has made me angrier and angrier. I shouldn't get this worked-up about something so trivial but I've been spending more time at home due to alot of financial responsibilities, and therefore, blowing money on renting movies. I got pretty desperate when I rented "The Breed", and Wes didn't disappoint in that regard. After finishing that film, I really felt that my money was well-wasted-- not to mention the hour and a half of my life.
I'm not going to go into the details of why the movie was so bad because it would take up way too much time and I don't think a thesaurus and dictionary could quite give me all the words I could use to describe that screaming-bleeding-anal-fissuring-colon-blowing-diarrhea-fest put to film. The one good thing I could find was that Michelle Rodriguez looked pretty hot but, of course, she wasn't bikini-clad long enough to distract from all the other mind-numbing suck.
Wes, you're officially on the list, my list...fuck-wit.
Let me start by saying that when it comes to contemporary Hollywood horror films, I've got pretty low expectations but HOLY FLAMING BABY JESUS, can't even a horror film legend like Wes Craven get it right anymore!?! I will admit that I was very pleasantly surprised by "The Feast", but everything that's had Craven's name attached to it since has made me angrier and angrier. I shouldn't get this worked-up about something so trivial but I've been spending more time at home due to alot of financial responsibilities, and therefore, blowing money on renting movies. I got pretty desperate when I rented "The Breed", and Wes didn't disappoint in that regard. After finishing that film, I really felt that my money was well-wasted-- not to mention the hour and a half of my life.
I'm not going to go into the details of why the movie was so bad because it would take up way too much time and I don't think a thesaurus and dictionary could quite give me all the words I could use to describe that screaming-bleeding-anal-fissuring-colon-blowing-diarrhea-fest put to film. The one good thing I could find was that Michelle Rodriguez looked pretty hot but, of course, she wasn't bikini-clad long enough to distract from all the other mind-numbing suck.
Wes, you're officially on the list, my list...fuck-wit.