In-laws in my Dreams
I dream of Paladin's family a lot, which seems weird since I see them only once or twice a year. I've had maybe ten encounters with them over a five-year stretch of time. Yet they've impacted me strongly.
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Last night I dreamed I was with Paladin's family for some sort of reunion.
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The beds for guests had been lined up with a curtain around a bunch of them, right next to the eating area.
Paladin's grandpa's place had been renovated to be a huge place than could accommodate everyone, but with very little privacy. In the dream I didn't recall that his grandfather had recently passed away. I didn't see him in the dream.
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I got upset at the dinner table and became doubly upset that there was no where to retreat to because my bed was right beside the dinner table.
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My things had been taken somewhere upon arrival, but they were not next to the bed and nobody told me where they were. I started hunting for them, missing some big holiday dinner and not caring.
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I ran into some uncle or cousin of Paladin's who helped me find my things (while I cried and was embarrassed).
When I woke from this nightmare I felt that it had been a nightmare, even though nothing truly terrible happened. It seemed to accurately reflect the emotions I feel when around his family, even if the situation has never been quite so extreme...
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In another dream Paladin was supposed to be watching my things and he let people come in and trample them. It was at a convention center or something, so they were literally just gone and people were everywhere, and one couldn't even tell where my things had been.
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I notice in both of these dreams my things were missing, and both times I woke up thinking it was a nightmare. In one dream it is centered on Paladin, being his fault, but in the other dream it was some random family member of his.
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Do I feel like I am losing things because of him or his family or both? If so, why?
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In another dream Paladin was starting to have sex with me without a condom and I said, “Wait, it isn't the right time of the month for that!” And I got a condom and put it on him.
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I realized belatedly it was an oversized condom and didn't fit him right at all. He just looked down at his penis and didn't have sex with me. I tried to get him to, but he wouldn't. I wondered if it was because he was upset about the condom size, or the condom itself, but didn't ask and he didn't explain.
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This last dream makes a lot of sense to me, since Paladin has said part of why he doesn't have sex with me more often is because he doesn't like condoms and what they represent. Part of him feels that sex should be for making children, and he can't have children with me right now, perhaps not ever. He also says he has realized that he wants children for the same poor reason that everyone else does: to help him with his own sense of purpose, to make him feel like he belongs in the world.
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Back in September (on the 27th, in 2014), I had a dream that seems related:
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I was with Paladin's family for Thanksgiving, except that nobody familiar was anywhere, as though there was a dirge of family members I hadn't met.
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There were strange rituals I was unfamiliar with, such as the “ladies dinner” except that I couldn't figure out which table that was because there were some women at all of the tables and a lot of different tables. I got so frustrated wandering from one table to another, trying to interpret a shrug or a hand-gesture that I set my plate on the floor and sat next to my plate.
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Then someone finally came to me and explained where I was expected to sit.