Manifestation Journaling
I wrote this on November 3rd 2013 to imagine my dream life. I wrote in journal-entry format as though I already had the life I wanted, exactly as I wanted it. This exercise was highly effective, and later write about the results of this in an entry authored on December 5th 2014.
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I am sprawled comfortably across the laps of two men, both of whom I love, and both of whom love me. I lounge there comfortably, my butt on a cushion between them, my legs being caressed by a dark-skinned man, who we'll call Solomon. My upper body rests on Paladin.
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Solomon has long dreads that are kept clean, and a toned body that he loves to hone. He is a man of his heart, passionate in everything he does. He practices capoeira (a Brazilian martial art that is like a dance), plays the jambe drum, and loves to climb trees.
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Paladin, who holds me absently while he reads a book aloud to us, has shining hair of spun gold and a radiant smile that is like a second sunshine. My husband, my lover, my friend, my companion. He is my logic, my rock, my adviser and my engineer. My masterful Solutions Architect. He and I like to play video games, design new lodges for new members of our community, and talk about how to make our people more self-sustaining.
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On Paladin's other side is a woman who we'll call Kasandra. She has shining black hair, bright blue eyes, and the body of an athlete. She loves to play board games with Solomon and I, and she loves to discuss programming and old video games with Paladin. The four of us dance together on Friday and Saturday nights, when our whole community dances together and makes music. Solomon plays the drum for us, making intricate rhythms.
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Our community is one where love is the ultimate arbiter. The children don't know fear because they are never given an example of it. The children do not raise their voices because the adults do not do so either. When someone is hurt, they softly exclaim, “I am hurt, someone please help me.” But no one need yell unless they are somehow alone and in need of help.
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At dinner a large buffet of foods is arrayed. Many of us join together to prepare a variety of foods. Mostly raw foods, but some cooked for those of us who do not feel they wish to eat fully alive food all of the time. No meat is served, for our community is too loving to wish to eat the flesh of dead animals. Rarely we serve some fish that someone in the community caught, but not everyone partakes.
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No less than four different salads are always prepared, and a multitude of home-created dressings. Various sauces are made from citrus juice, tahini, coconut water, cashews, flax oil, hemp oil, mustard, tomatoes, and many other delicious things. Desserts include creative ideas like fresh-fig pie with cacao-carob-chia crust.
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A selection of dehydrated treats is always available for snacking and celebrating - kale chips, sunflower sprout patties, raw corn wraps, raw pizza crusts and marinated and dried toppings. Much more creative things are always available too - zucchini chips, watermelon cinnamon “candies” and many other delights.
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In our communal living room there are many shelves. There is an entire closet for yoga mats and other yoga props so that as many as of us can do yoga together as we want. Sometimes the entire community does yoga together. Pilates, Tai Chi, Qi Gong and Zumba too.
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On one set of shelves there are many board games. They range from party games like Cranium and Apples to Apples to more strategic games like Conquest and Taluva. And everything in between like Settlers of Catan, Race for the Galaxy, Citadel, Carcassonne, and Viva Java. Best of all, there are many games that I have designed myself, and some that I have made with others in the community.
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Every Tuesday and Thursday my friends and family gather to play games together, and I almost always join them. Only for the rarest things would I miss it.
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Like one time, Solomon, Kasandra, Paladin, and Oryx all went camping together. We missed several gaming nights, much dancing, and many delicious feasts. But we didn't mind since we hiked remote trails, went swimming, enjoyed sunny weather, made love to each other in many different ways in many different places, and experienced the joy of togetherness simultaneously with the joy of solitude in nature.
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[Note: Paladin is my husband. Oryx is a real-life friend of mine. Solomon, Kasandra and Harka are invented.]
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Oryx often visits and goes on adventures with us. She loves the community, and she and Kasandra seem to have a sizable spark. I enjoy watching them dance together, especially when one of my men is grinding on me as I watch. There is no shortage of affection or love.
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I don't have my own children yet, but I'm no longer afraid to have them. Here they would have dozens of people to love them and look after their wellbeing. There are even many people who are wiser than myself, like Harka. His hair is white, but his eyes are sharp. He spends time with all of the children and tells them clever stories that teach them lessons without being corny or obviously educational.
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Harka can sense when something is wrong even better than I. His intuition is strong and keeps the community safe. It is a psychological joy to converse with him, and a spiritual joy to meditate with him.
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We have meditations every week, sometimes every day. Harka and I always participate, but not everyone always does. Nothing is ever required of anyone except their willingness to return to love. In our meditations we gather light for our community, and we also send out healing and messages to the planet. We especially guide those who are near the “turning point” where their life becomes more about love than about fear.
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Many people love to visit us to spend some time away from their personal sagas. Here we have a united saga, one that is lighted by truth and compassion. Our friends and family like and respect that. Many try to emulate us. Paladin's younger sister, Panthera, likes to visit with her baby and her husband. Paladin feels happy that even his younger sister can appreciate this joyous place.
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My parents have visited, and they seem interested in joining us. My mom enjoyed playing board games with everyone. My father enjoyed spending time with the children. They seemed to enjoy my dad too. I think they both wonder when/if I'll have children.
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There is plenty of productive work for everyone to do. We sell our ceramics and our paintings in a beautiful little shop. We also sell books, raw treats, and “fast health food” such as quickly prepared wraps, “sun burgers”, and many other creative snacks. It is wonderful to see how much my superfood treats sell. The spiriulina flavor is particularly popular, perhaps in part because of its bright green color.
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I have a team who helps me prepare my treats - including Kasandra and Oryx. Solomon or Paladin only get involved when we request taste testers. Then even Harka gets a bit curious.
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We also have a trance dance club. Its the only dance club where no smoking is allowed in or around the building, where fresh juice is sold instead of beer, and where no toxic smog is added to the air. Instead, we have natural humidifiers, fun lights, and a wide variety of dancing music. One night a week we play only belly-dancing music.
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During the day we rent the dance club to various dance troupes, yoga classes, and other people who want to host groups and require a large smooth floor. Our location is beautiful and in high demand. Members of the community can create classes there any time. I teach a variety of classes, including belly dancing, Zumba, yoga, pilates, meditative dance, and tantra. I love being at the studio.
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We also have retreats at our community several times a year. That is both exhausting and rewarding. It is always surprising to encounter people with severe health problems. They start out negative, overweight, unhappy, drooping and in a lot of pain. A few days of healthy meals and they begin to lighten up (in more ways than one!). After a couple weeks with us they often begin to participate in our endless dancing.
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The retreat goers have their own cabins so that the entire community isn't continually burdened by them, but we try to integrate them as much as we can so that they can get the most healing. We know that some of the best realizations come from connection with nature, so a daily nature hike is arranged, and everyone who desires to participate is encouraged to do so.
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Paladin loves leading nature hikes. He leads us down hidden trails, shows us unusual wild edible foods and incredible vistas.
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I love working with the children. I organize crafts for them (and for anyone else who wants to join) and we create the most fun things. Sometimes I get frustrated with the boundless artistic “style” of youth, but Solomon and Mira do not. They come to my rescue and let me retreat into my own art when I've gotten myself glued to a project. It feels good to be understood. I think the children can see what Mira is doing for me when she comes in and leads them when my interest has shifted. They can appreciate the subtleties of love without it being explained to them.
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[Mira is also invented.]
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Mira is an older woman with no children of her own, but she is more than mother enough for everyone. It is her passion to nurture, and nurture she does! When I am feeling sad and in need of a “mother”, she is always there to stroke my hair, and sometimes to tell me to “snap out of it!”
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Mira knows the way to cradle the neck so that one feels just as at-ease as a babe in its mother's arms. Solomon and Mira have a lot in common, despite the differences in height, age, skin color, background and more. They are people of a nurturing, compassionate sort.
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Solomon's passion also finds vent in art. He and I can spend hours at the potter's wheel only to be followed by hours of cob-molding to make decorative shelves and door frames. We'll easily move from these creative projects on to creating a collage with the children, and then beating out a the details of our latest board game design by firelight long after many have gone to bed.
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After all of this creativity, we find we still have endless expression within ourselves, and so we talk a little and make love a lot. Spent and happy we will curl up together with whoever has decided to sleep in our communal bed. Oryx usually likes her own separate sleep system, but Kasandra is usually there in the communal bed. She delights when we join her, and Solomon kisses her breasts playfully.
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Paladin often isn't there, but when he joins us we smile at him and draw him into the center to make him warm. We know he likes to work himself into the late of the night, especially after we've built a new cob hut that needs wiring and is proving troublesome. He gets on our cases about designing for art instead of function sometimes. I love it when he does that. We produce the best results when we design for art and function together.
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Paladin and I like to go off together for a walk in nature sometimes. It's one of the easiest ways for us to connect. There are no board games or classes or cuddle puddles to distract me when I'm surrounded by tall trees. His bright spirit becomes part of the joy of the scenery. When its just the two of us and the giant redwoods, I feel a comfortable companionship with all that is. It is almost the same as being alone in the forest, because we are so closely connected, and have been for so long. But better, because I can hold his hand in mine and find it warm and splendid.
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He also provides the perfect contrast to the nature around me, reminding me of what I am, and what I look like among the trees - small, adorable, cherishable, delicate, smooth, lithe, playful and incredibly young. We fleshy things look strange amongst all that bark, and yet also precious. We become the “salt of the Earth” when it's just the two of us in the forest.
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I am almost jealous sometimes when Oryx goes out hiking with Paladin. But then I remember to feel relieved instead. We can both be who we are all the time and be loved for it all the time instead of always having to make sacrifices for one another. It makes me smile knowing that he can go out and connect with her and with nature even when I want to connect with my latest painting, my newest book or with a freshly turned patch of soil ready for a loving planting.
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Kias is my friend in gardening. She is always telling me something new about plants and insects. She is a master of permaculture, and becoming a master of aquaponics as well. Paladin and her are often working pipes, fish and creative bits of recycled material into fountains and food.
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[Kias and Jonah are invented.]
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Kias is master grower, and her husband, Jonah, organizes a weekly harvest and trip to the farmer's market. There we sell the extra from the week. We can't sell all of our extra - there is too much for that. That is why we also donate dozens of boxes of fresh produce to the nearest soup kitchens, and why we have arrangements made with nearby establishments to trade our extra for theirs.
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We grow lots of fruit. I keep finding another spot where a fruit tree could be planted and sweet-talking it into happening. Kias and Jonah aren't hard to convince, and Solomon is always delighted to take off his shirt and carry around things in the garden while I watch with delighted admiring eyes. Not to be outdone, Paladin often will arrive (after solving the latest technical complication), strip off his shirt and begin helping unload the newest trees, bricks or bags of sand. Then I'll have two beautiful men shining with sweat in the sunlight.
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Kasandra always jokes that she would do it too, but that she wouldn't want to carry around heavy objects with her breasts exposed. We laugh and hug fondly then, natural and happy in each others' company.
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We teach most everything by demonstration. The children partake in building cob with the adults, as well as in food preparation, healing those who come to us to retreat, and in every other activity of the community. But on Mondays we set aside time for lectures and discourse on esoteric topics. Monday is a day of presentation.
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I like to speak on the nature of the universe, spirituality, nutrition, antioxidants, manifestation, love, forgiveness and many other topics. It feels good to give a well-received lecture. So many listening minds, attentive eyes and mailable brains - all focused on me! What a fantastic joy it is!
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Afterward I let Paladin answer the questions of the visitors, and Mira and Solomon answer the questions of the children. Kasandra helps me escape, making excuses for me sometimes - when necessary. Sometimes when I'm stressed from many people demanding my attention, she leads me away into her bedroom and pushes me onto my bed.
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She pulls off my clothing, slowly, teasing me as she does, drawing all of my attention to her.
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Kasandra alights the fire within me with her delicate touches, especially those of her tongue. She delights in my pleasure and has no expectations for returned favors. She doesn't need me to, for she has many willing admirers, including Solomon.
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After pleasurable encounters, we often take a hot bath together. The spacious hot tub often already has other occupants who we greet enthusiastically in the nude. Some of the older men in the community get a (literal) rise out of Kasandra and I arriving at the hot tub, especially when we're flushed and obviously fresh from a pleasing experience. We continue “the show” when we go on to wash each other. I love washing Kasandra. Her body is so fun to explore with my hands and soap.
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Oryx will sometimes arrive at the tub shortly after us. She is always able to tell when we've just been having fun. She touches my spine and can feel how relaxed I am. She'll smile and wink at me.
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Aloe Spine and Pea Sprout visit the community. They love it there and feel at home.
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My friends from the time when Paladin and I used to live alone together in his apartment have visited a few times, and I think some of them will come to stay at some point down the road. I've extended the invitations to many people I've known over the years.
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My nephew is making arrangements to move in with us, which is a delight to me. It is good to see him somewhere where he no longer feels the need to repress himself.
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Papaya and Farm Ox have visited at the same time as Oryx before, bringing their triad to our community. I think it is good for the children to see so many different examples of what love looks like.
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Basket Bear and many members of the polyamorous community have expressed interest in our home. It isn't necessarily a polyamorous community as a rule, just as it isn't vegan or “raw” as a rule either. We're just open-minded here, loving, and compassionate. This paves the way for many different walks of life. We've attracted a number of gay couples into the community, who are a delight.
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Among the visitors we enjoy are Paladin's parents. They have changed with time and can see that we're in a place of love and light. We're not overt about our polyamorous relationships, but I think the loving bond we share with the entire community speaks for itself. They seem very happy when they're here, and I think they are happy to know that this will be the place their grandchilden grow up.
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Kasandra has been talking about wanting a baby, and I am excited for her. I'm also a bit nervous, because sometimes I think she'll have a baby with Paladin before I do, which makes my insides turn a bit. But then I realize that my fears are groundless. Paladin and Kasandra will not love me less if they have a baby together. I do not need to compete! And isn't that grand? I do not need to compete with anyone to receive love or anything else that I require.
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Eating pomegranates, I listen to the chatter of a young girl who has just had her first cob-building experience. She wants me to come and see what she has done. She is excited and beautiful in her happiness. I follow her, knowing that the pomegranate will still be there for me when I return.
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And later, when finishing my pomegranate, Paladin comes to talk to me about a new idea he has for a more efficient aquaponic system. I listen and somewhat understand. Kias, who joins us partway into the discussion, understands more of the implications and begins to add to the idea with enthusiasm.
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Kasandra joins us and begins to work at extracting the arils of a pomegranate as well, listening to the excited talk. We touch our foreheads together for a moment, joining our energy at the crown chakra. We smile, listen, and after hugging Paladin and playfully touching Kias's curly hair, we part. Kasandra leads me to where Solomon and Oryx are stretching together. An impromptu yogic exercise session begins, shifting toward Qi Gong as it progresses.
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Occasionally we travel. Sometimes I go with Paladin, sometimes with another. Sometimes a bunch of us pack together in a hybrid van with solar panels on the top. We tour around the country and give talks on sustainability and community. We provide workshops for turning solar cells into solar panels, for turning recycled parts into aquaponic systems, for “being present” and for “finding life's purpose.” We also do chocolate-making demonstrations, showing how easy it is to eat decadently as well as healthfully at the same time!
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Often we go abroad and see countries we've never seen before. Sometimes I have retreats in remote places. For these retreats we always have a number of facilitators, helping the participants relax and heal from every angle we can. Depending on the other facilitators, I take on different roles. Sometimes I am the yoga teacher. Sometimes I am the healer who helps each individual go into their own “junk” and clean it out. Sometimes I am the chef. I am comfortable and happy in all of these roles. I especially enjoy when I am being the “adventurer” and exploring a new place I've never been before.
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When I am at my desk I am comfortable. I don't have to slouch to see my monitor, and because of this my spine rarely ever comes out of alignment anymore. That, and plenty of vegetable juice. Paladin has built me a variety of desk solutions, including portable ones. After others saw these creative ideas, he was conscripted to build more for other members of the community. Between Oryx's skills helping me connect with my spine and Paladin's special desk designs, we're a very healthy community, known for our “straight backs.”
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We have a glorious sprout room that is like a giant shower. It has a drain in the bottom center, and many shower heads on the top of the room. We have a shower room like this for people to shower together, but the sprout room is full of shelves. The shelves are covered in trays of sprouts. We scatter seeds in shallow trays of dirt, and then the sprout room does the rest up until the point of harvest. Water from the trays drains into the trays below, allowing for sprouts to be grown floor to ceiling.
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Paladin has engineered for air to circulate through the sprout room and into the bedrooms and offices of the community. This means fresh oxygen-rich air reaches us where we work and sleep, and that the plants have suitable ventilation that brings them what they need and also prevents mold from developing.
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One side of the room is windows, and this is where we put sprouts that we want to green up a little before we harvest them. We also have other plants near the windows, such as basil, aloe and lemongrass.
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Nobody has secrets and we have no real need for privacy. We sometimes don't mention things because it would bore someone, or do something behind closed doors so we don't distract others from what they are doing, but none of us need to be afraid to share anything. Sometimes we dance naked around the fire. Sometimes we tell stories about the people we used to be before we all found each other. Sometimes we make love openly in public parts of the community.
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Some of the community members particularly like when I choose to have sex in public. I enjoy their extra attention perhaps as much as they enjoy the display. I admit to being an exhibitionist quite happily.
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I love to read. There is no end to the joy of reading in the community. Our library is packed with books, and many of us have a Nook or a Kindle. With just the exchange of one of these little devices, we can trade personal libraries and see what another is currently reading, and what they have bookmarked as special to them. I like to spend time in the library, reading among many others who are also quietly lost in their own universes.
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I think this must be a lot like being alive. On the other side we're “quietly” among others who are also going out into this reality. On the one side, we're beside each other and in the “same reality” and yet here, on Earth, we could be on entirely different parts of the globe!
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The library is nice because it has so many comfortable reading chairs, many of which are near large windows looking out into the gardens. Kias even tries to be careful not to disturb the readers with her gardening when she is near the library windows. But often I look up and out the window and see her nursing and loving a plant to even greater splendor.
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I feel like life is one great big effort to nurse things into greater splendor. And there is no end to it. When reaches “greatness” there is still even more “greatness” it can yet attain. And that is the beauty of it. Everything can only get better and more wondrous as we grow and experience more and more of the reality we have created for ourselves.
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It is easy to see myself as a part of God among many other parts of God when we all are so happy and contributing so much to each other and the world. None of us ever gets sick because none of us are ever stressed out, over-worked, or fed unhealthy food. We all have the power to choose what is best for ourselves every single day.
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Things I love in my life: Naked sun bathing, cuddling up with many people I love together, dancing to live naturally-created music, evolved meditation in large groups, harvesting lots of beautiful fruit, creating board games, playing board games, healing people, lecturing, providing art workshops, hiking, skiing, traveling aboard, drinking fresh vegetable juice every morning, and eating a creative and different salad every afternoon, inventing new incredibly healthful treats, building cob structures, drawing, swimming in the ocean, swimming in the hot tub, sweating in our sauna, walking among giant trees, planting flowers, attending interesting seminars, making great money doing things I love, and having sex with wonderful people I love.