I cracked my head and broke my heart
Title: I cracked my head and broke my heart
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan, Brendon/Gerard
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Brendon gets hit by a bottle, falls in love with Gerard Way and is together with Ryan.
“Get well soon,” Gerard says and leans away again, just in time. A second later Mikey is entering the room with Ryan, who looks pale and doesn't look at anyone in the room except Brendon.
Warning(s): kissing, masturbation
Author’s Notes: Title by Hurt.
Word Count: 1.335
Beta: figilio_vampiri
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~1~
He wakes up to pain and too-bright light.
“Am I dead?” he asks, because, hmm...light at the end of the tunnel.
“I hope not, because if you were, I would be as well. And I don't think I could handle that. Also I would be so pissed off, because there are a lot of things I want to do,” Gerard answers. He is exhaling smoke and gesturing with his hand around.
“I must be dead,” Brendon says. No way is he talking to Gerard fucking Way. Gerard pinches his arm. “Fuck! That hurt! What did you do that for?” he asks annoyed.
Gerard shrugs. “So you would believe me when I'm saying you're not. Dead, that is.”
“That's only something your supposed to do when you think you're dreaming,” Brendon answers. Gerard waves his answer aside, inhaling more smoke. He looks pretty, so close up and shit.
“Doesn't matter, you are not dead when you can feel pain.”
“I could be in hell?” Brendon asks, a bit unsure.
“There is no hell and if there were I would not be... Wait! I actually could lend my ass in hell,” he answers, frowning.
“I'm not dead?”
“Yes, that's what I said, didn't I, Mikey?” Gerard says, nodding at his brother who is leaning on the other side of the room. Looking mildly concerned. Mikey nods.
“So...what am I doing here? And why does my head hurt so fucking much?” Brendon asks.
“You got hit by something that was aimed at Frank, I think, or Mikey or me...if we are taking guesses.”
“I got hit with a bottle?” Brendon asks in disbelief.
“Seems so,” Gerard answers.
“And that's why we're here so he could look after you, check if you're okay or going to sue us...even if it is not our fault,” Mikey says.
“Mikey!” Gerard answers, mock scandalised. Mikey shrugs, but a small smile is playing around his lips.
“I'm okay... I need... Where is Ryan?” Brendon asks.
“That skinny little kid? With the make-up?” Gerard asks, Mikey rolls his eyes and Brendon snickers, because fucking yeah, could have been really any kid who was there tonight.
“Yeah,” he says nevertheless.
“Outside.”
“Can I see him?” Brendon asks.
“Sure,” Mikey says and goes to fetch Ryan.
“So...” Brendon says, sitting up. “Thanks, I guess and I am not going to press charges or anything,” he adds. Gerard inhales smoke and exhales it slowly. And then he leans down to Brendon and kisses him. Just a soft dry press to his lips that smells like smoke.
“Get well soon,” Gerard says and leans away again, just in time. A second later Mikey is entering the room with Ryan, who looks pale and doesn't look at anyone in the room except Brendon.
“I'm okay,” Brendon says, dazed.
“Let's get you home,” Ryan answers in his perfect monotone. Mikey and Gerard give him a look, but Brendon knows Ryan, Ryan is fucking worried. Brendon nods, and doesn't look at Gerard as he leaves the room.
~+~
Ryan is in one of his moods again and Spencer is out because he has no urge to deal with it right now. Brendon tries to be as still as he can. He doesn't want to provoke Ryan by breathing or something. It would be suicide.
“What did he do to you?” Ryan asks and Brendon has no idea what they are talking about. Or more precisely Ryan is talking about. Brendon raises an eyebrow, it doesn't look as cool as when Spencer does it, but he thinks it gets the point across.
“Gerard fucking Way?” Ryan asks.
“Nothing,” Brendon lies and doesn't even know why he is lying to Ryan.
“Right,” Ryan answers huffing.
It's one of Ryan's moods. Brendon just sometimes doesn't get him at all.
~+~
The thing is, Brendon can't forget Gerard's soft dry lips. He dreams about them and it doesn't stay only a soft dry kiss in these dreams. It turns to stroking hands, and fingers pressing into hips and tongues and heat and sweat and moans.
~2~
He forgets with the years, he forgets details, but he remembers, always, the soft whisper of Gerard's lips on his.
~+~
The bottle brings everything back in technicolor. He hears Ryan's voice, the clattering of the guitar, feels the sharp pain. And he thinks he can smell smoke and hear Gerard's words in the split second he opens his eyes to see Ryan stare down on him.
“I'm okay,” he says, because he thinks he really is.
“You sure, I... We can just go,” Ryan says, biting his lip. Brendon wants to kiss him, so he doesn't worry anymore.
“It's just one asshole, besides it's not like this is new,” Brendon answers. Ryan nods with a jerky kind of motion. As if remembering it would make it real just for another painful second. Brendon sits up carefully and smiles at Ryan. “I'm okay,” he repeats and lets the paramedics patch him up.
~+~
When he listens to all his messages that evening there is one that says softly: Get well soon. And even if the caller didn't state his name, Brendon knows who it is from. He closes his eyes and doesn't fight the sudden rush of desire and heat and longing.
Goes with it instead, releases it the only way he knows how by know. With long strokes on his dick.
~3~
He only goes because it's one of Pete's stupid parties. It's the fucking truth. And maybe because Ryan gave him looks that promised so much more than...well. If he had known that part of My Chem would be there as well, he would've stayed home. For fucking sure.
He doesn't even know how he ends up outside sharing a smoke with Gerard Way, as he doesn't even smoke, for god's sake!
“I see you are better,” Gerard says, exhaling smoke slowly. Brendon has seen this up close before, but still.
“It was only a bottle to my head, I’ve had worse,” he answers and it's true. He has.
Gerard laughs. “You aren't hardcore at all, Brendon.”
“Doesn't mean we aren't hard...” Brendon answers.
Gerard exhales smoke and then flips the butt of his cigarette onto the pavement. He turns his head to look at Brendon and whispers: “I was thinking about you, later, for weeks later I was thinking about you and your mouth and how it felt.”
Brendon takes a sharp breath. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“I'm with Ryan,” he says, because that's how things are now and maybe Gerard doesn't know that, but Brendon thinks he should. Gerard nods, leaning forward as he does, so that his lips are just a few inches away from Brendon's and Brendon should lean away, but he just can't.
“You were thinking about me too,” Gerard says, Brendon can feel his breath on his skin, smell smoke and thinks that there is no smoke without fire and if he doesn't get away now he will get burned badly, really badly.
“I was,” he admits.
“You are,” Gerard says and Brendon closes his eyes in acknowledgement or maybe because he can't look at Gerard any longer. He takes a deep shuddering breath and leans away.
“I'm going to find Ryan,” he says. Gerard looks at him and then nods slowly.
~+~
“What did he do to you?” Ryan asks between kisses to Brendon's collarbone.
“Nothing,” Brendon answers and Ryan bites hard. His sharp teeth leaving marks, maybe drawing blood.
“Liar,” Ryan says and Brendon takes his face into his hands and kisses him softly.
~+~
He jerks off to Gerard's last message as soon as he is sure Ryan is asleep, lying on the couch, trying to keep quiet.
~end~
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan, Brendon/Gerard
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Brendon gets hit by a bottle, falls in love with Gerard Way and is together with Ryan.
“Get well soon,” Gerard says and leans away again, just in time. A second later Mikey is entering the room with Ryan, who looks pale and doesn't look at anyone in the room except Brendon.
Warning(s): kissing, masturbation
Author’s Notes: Title by Hurt.
Word Count: 1.335
Beta: figilio_vampiri
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~1~
He wakes up to pain and too-bright light.
“Am I dead?” he asks, because, hmm...light at the end of the tunnel.
“I hope not, because if you were, I would be as well. And I don't think I could handle that. Also I would be so pissed off, because there are a lot of things I want to do,” Gerard answers. He is exhaling smoke and gesturing with his hand around.
“I must be dead,” Brendon says. No way is he talking to Gerard fucking Way. Gerard pinches his arm. “Fuck! That hurt! What did you do that for?” he asks annoyed.
Gerard shrugs. “So you would believe me when I'm saying you're not. Dead, that is.”
“That's only something your supposed to do when you think you're dreaming,” Brendon answers. Gerard waves his answer aside, inhaling more smoke. He looks pretty, so close up and shit.
“Doesn't matter, you are not dead when you can feel pain.”
“I could be in hell?” Brendon asks, a bit unsure.
“There is no hell and if there were I would not be... Wait! I actually could lend my ass in hell,” he answers, frowning.
“I'm not dead?”
“Yes, that's what I said, didn't I, Mikey?” Gerard says, nodding at his brother who is leaning on the other side of the room. Looking mildly concerned. Mikey nods.
“So...what am I doing here? And why does my head hurt so fucking much?” Brendon asks.
“You got hit by something that was aimed at Frank, I think, or Mikey or me...if we are taking guesses.”
“I got hit with a bottle?” Brendon asks in disbelief.
“Seems so,” Gerard answers.
“And that's why we're here so he could look after you, check if you're okay or going to sue us...even if it is not our fault,” Mikey says.
“Mikey!” Gerard answers, mock scandalised. Mikey shrugs, but a small smile is playing around his lips.
“I'm okay... I need... Where is Ryan?” Brendon asks.
“That skinny little kid? With the make-up?” Gerard asks, Mikey rolls his eyes and Brendon snickers, because fucking yeah, could have been really any kid who was there tonight.
“Yeah,” he says nevertheless.
“Outside.”
“Can I see him?” Brendon asks.
“Sure,” Mikey says and goes to fetch Ryan.
“So...” Brendon says, sitting up. “Thanks, I guess and I am not going to press charges or anything,” he adds. Gerard inhales smoke and exhales it slowly. And then he leans down to Brendon and kisses him. Just a soft dry press to his lips that smells like smoke.
“Get well soon,” Gerard says and leans away again, just in time. A second later Mikey is entering the room with Ryan, who looks pale and doesn't look at anyone in the room except Brendon.
“I'm okay,” Brendon says, dazed.
“Let's get you home,” Ryan answers in his perfect monotone. Mikey and Gerard give him a look, but Brendon knows Ryan, Ryan is fucking worried. Brendon nods, and doesn't look at Gerard as he leaves the room.
~+~
Ryan is in one of his moods again and Spencer is out because he has no urge to deal with it right now. Brendon tries to be as still as he can. He doesn't want to provoke Ryan by breathing or something. It would be suicide.
“What did he do to you?” Ryan asks and Brendon has no idea what they are talking about. Or more precisely Ryan is talking about. Brendon raises an eyebrow, it doesn't look as cool as when Spencer does it, but he thinks it gets the point across.
“Gerard fucking Way?” Ryan asks.
“Nothing,” Brendon lies and doesn't even know why he is lying to Ryan.
“Right,” Ryan answers huffing.
It's one of Ryan's moods. Brendon just sometimes doesn't get him at all.
~+~
The thing is, Brendon can't forget Gerard's soft dry lips. He dreams about them and it doesn't stay only a soft dry kiss in these dreams. It turns to stroking hands, and fingers pressing into hips and tongues and heat and sweat and moans.
~2~
He forgets with the years, he forgets details, but he remembers, always, the soft whisper of Gerard's lips on his.
~+~
The bottle brings everything back in technicolor. He hears Ryan's voice, the clattering of the guitar, feels the sharp pain. And he thinks he can smell smoke and hear Gerard's words in the split second he opens his eyes to see Ryan stare down on him.
“I'm okay,” he says, because he thinks he really is.
“You sure, I... We can just go,” Ryan says, biting his lip. Brendon wants to kiss him, so he doesn't worry anymore.
“It's just one asshole, besides it's not like this is new,” Brendon answers. Ryan nods with a jerky kind of motion. As if remembering it would make it real just for another painful second. Brendon sits up carefully and smiles at Ryan. “I'm okay,” he repeats and lets the paramedics patch him up.
~+~
When he listens to all his messages that evening there is one that says softly: Get well soon. And even if the caller didn't state his name, Brendon knows who it is from. He closes his eyes and doesn't fight the sudden rush of desire and heat and longing.
Goes with it instead, releases it the only way he knows how by know. With long strokes on his dick.
~3~
He only goes because it's one of Pete's stupid parties. It's the fucking truth. And maybe because Ryan gave him looks that promised so much more than...well. If he had known that part of My Chem would be there as well, he would've stayed home. For fucking sure.
He doesn't even know how he ends up outside sharing a smoke with Gerard Way, as he doesn't even smoke, for god's sake!
“I see you are better,” Gerard says, exhaling smoke slowly. Brendon has seen this up close before, but still.
“It was only a bottle to my head, I’ve had worse,” he answers and it's true. He has.
Gerard laughs. “You aren't hardcore at all, Brendon.”
“Doesn't mean we aren't hard...” Brendon answers.
Gerard exhales smoke and then flips the butt of his cigarette onto the pavement. He turns his head to look at Brendon and whispers: “I was thinking about you, later, for weeks later I was thinking about you and your mouth and how it felt.”
Brendon takes a sharp breath. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“I'm with Ryan,” he says, because that's how things are now and maybe Gerard doesn't know that, but Brendon thinks he should. Gerard nods, leaning forward as he does, so that his lips are just a few inches away from Brendon's and Brendon should lean away, but he just can't.
“You were thinking about me too,” Gerard says, Brendon can feel his breath on his skin, smell smoke and thinks that there is no smoke without fire and if he doesn't get away now he will get burned badly, really badly.
“I was,” he admits.
“You are,” Gerard says and Brendon closes his eyes in acknowledgement or maybe because he can't look at Gerard any longer. He takes a deep shuddering breath and leans away.
“I'm going to find Ryan,” he says. Gerard looks at him and then nods slowly.
~+~
“What did he do to you?” Ryan asks between kisses to Brendon's collarbone.
“Nothing,” Brendon answers and Ryan bites hard. His sharp teeth leaving marks, maybe drawing blood.
“Liar,” Ryan says and Brendon takes his face into his hands and kisses him softly.
~+~
He jerks off to Gerard's last message as soon as he is sure Ryan is asleep, lying on the couch, trying to keep quiet.
~end~