On Anger
Anger comes in many different forms:
bitterness
wrath
envy
resentment
intolerance
revenge
hatred
jealousy
...
Stripped of all the facade and fancy excuses for condoning anger...we are confronted with an ugly word---selfishness. Although we love to excuse our weaknesses and justify them to ourselves as we nurse our grudges and indulge in angry, vengeful, bitter feelings, they are all motivated by selfishness. When I am angry, it is because someone has violated my rights and I am interested in myself. When I am bitter against someone, it is because they have done something against me, and again I come back to selfishness. Vengeance is always inspired by selfishness.
...I confronted [a christian lady] with the fact of her ang[er]. ...she blurted out in..defense, "well you'd be angry too if you lived with a man who constantly ran roughshod over you and treated you like dirt!' Admittedly, he was not treating her the way a Christian man should, but her reaction could not possibly be caused by generosity; instead it was...selfishness. The more she indulged in her selfishness and let her anger predominate, the worse her husband treated her.
I confronted her with the fact that she had 2 problems. ...Your husband is one problem, but your attitude toward your husband is another. Until you as a christian recognize your own sin of selfishness and look to God for a proper attitude, even in the face of these circumstances, you will continue to grieve the Holy Spirity of God.
The change...was almost unbelievable...instead of using her husband as an excuse to indulge in anger, she began to treat her relationship to Jesus Christ more than the indulgence of her own selfishness.
Instead of waiting for a change in her husband's behavior, she literally changed her husband's behavior by hers.
Since love begets love and we reap what we so, it was not long before the husband began to respond with kindness.
-Tim LaHaye
We are also letting the person who has hurt us or who we are 'indulging' our anger upon run our lives.
It is time to move on and admit that we're wrong and forget about those who have marked us so that we can begin to let God be the one with the marker....(cheesier than cheese toastie, I know...but it was meant well)