On Wednesdays, we ponder our lives
My two girlfriends and I finally resumed our weekly Wednesday breakfast dates after the whirlwind of a holiday season, with one friend just finishing her law exams and the other coming from her Europe sojourn. It's nice to have that sense of normalcy back, in a way. This morning, we were vaguely discussing the next year. It dawned on me, how fast "real life" is happening, as weird a statement that is. One friend is getting married and moving to LA next year to practice law as well, the other one is also getting hitched next year, but in Amsterdam. It just hit me this morning that it's really happening, that I'm about to have two of my closest lifelines moving away so soon. I'm not sad, exactly, I'm so excited for their new lives. They've been hurtling towards a version of their current plans now for as long as I've know them, and I'm proud of them. It's really their thing, if that makes sense. I have my own thing here, and for the first time in a while, I feel like I have tangible goals set for the next couple of years. I'm just a bit anxious that I won't have the two of them around nearby, never mind that there are things like Skype and social media to keep the umbilical cord going.
Just, no weekly breakfast dates, no impromptu workouts, no hopping just a few blocks for a quick coffee break, no spontaneous "I need it for my sanity" drives down south. I met the both of them in college, and feel like the decade that has passed since we all met for the first time has just further cemented that the three of us get each other like no one can. I'm not afraid that our connections will weaken or sever, we've bared too much of ourselves among the three of us for that happen in this lifetime. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that they won't be living in the same zip code as I am, much less the same continent. Life really gives us our own courses to run through, doesn't it? Ah, I already miss them, even if I have a whole year left to enjoy them! Do you get what I mean? I want to spend time with them as I know them in this moment in our lives, in a place that's still home for all of us, for now. We will all change, eventually, and I look forward to all the discovery and unfolding to be done in the next few years.
But for now, for a little bit more, let me just hang on to our breakfast dates.
And now I'm ridiculously emotional because this song came up on Spotify and it's so beautiful and apt and I'm just. Sigh. Isn't feeling optimistic about the future but also being slightly wistful such a complicated feeling? There's no other way than just to breathe through it and accept it as one of life's ebbs and flows.