peace, peace, when there is no peace
I am fairly convinced at this moment that that is what faith is. Peace, when there is no peace. It's a beautiful line from a Madison Greene song. But it's going through my head right now as I sit here overwhelmed from the day I just lived through.
Everything seems to be against me on this whole applying for grad school thing. Everything is last minute, and I HATE things being last minute. In college I procrastinated out of boredom, for the thrill of the chase, to see how well I could do with the least amount of advanced work. But that is not how I live my real life.
Martin said something about this in Uganda. What was the word he used? I don't remember, but he was saying that I'm not one to throw things together. I'm not. And yet my applications look like I am. Oh Jesus, let them read what you want them to read, not the craziness of all of this.
I am still unsure if this is one of the things where God is standing at the end of all these hertels and saying "come on! you can do it!" or it it's that He is putting the hurdles there to get me to stop trying for something which isn't His will. I don't know which it is... but if it's the latter He doesn't know me very well. I am a bit determined, to a fault sometimes I think.
I am just tired, and I am tired of being tired. It's been so long now, and I just want to be back on my feet. But I'm not. I guess it's called "recovery".
Stress actually makes my body shut down. It's like someone who is deathly allergic to bee stings being stung. The littlest bit makes me feel crappy. Hopefully this will change, or I will learn how to create a stress free life for myself. (haha)
Ah well... peace. peace, when there is no peace. peace. peace.
I have faith in the one who is peace. The light that enlightens all men.
peace.
Everything seems to be against me on this whole applying for grad school thing. Everything is last minute, and I HATE things being last minute. In college I procrastinated out of boredom, for the thrill of the chase, to see how well I could do with the least amount of advanced work. But that is not how I live my real life.
Martin said something about this in Uganda. What was the word he used? I don't remember, but he was saying that I'm not one to throw things together. I'm not. And yet my applications look like I am. Oh Jesus, let them read what you want them to read, not the craziness of all of this.
I am still unsure if this is one of the things where God is standing at the end of all these hertels and saying "come on! you can do it!" or it it's that He is putting the hurdles there to get me to stop trying for something which isn't His will. I don't know which it is... but if it's the latter He doesn't know me very well. I am a bit determined, to a fault sometimes I think.
I am just tired, and I am tired of being tired. It's been so long now, and I just want to be back on my feet. But I'm not. I guess it's called "recovery".
Stress actually makes my body shut down. It's like someone who is deathly allergic to bee stings being stung. The littlest bit makes me feel crappy. Hopefully this will change, or I will learn how to create a stress free life for myself. (haha)
Ah well... peace. peace, when there is no peace. peace. peace.
I have faith in the one who is peace. The light that enlightens all men.
peace.