The Movie
"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
I have a problem. I hate superchango's best friend. I've mentioned him before as Angry Young Kept Screenwriter. We might as well give him a name. Kurt.
Kurt manages to bundle ten thousand issues into my least favorite type of physique: stocky, tall, blond and ruddy. The date rapist. The Hemmingway. The hard-livin' true-tellin' man's man, bro'ing around the world on a mission to come up with some important truths and git famous doin it. What the world needs is this dude. With nothin but a dream and lots and lots of money.
I need to summarize Kurt's background before I can proceed. He was born in Kenya to upper-middle class anthropologist parents from the Midwest on "field research", and he lived there for all of about six months. However, this experience gave him a magical superpower to intuitively understand the plight of everybody in the world without bothering to actually learn about it. Like Michael Moore with no ideas, Kurt senses the injustice in the world but refuses to sully his perception of it with facts or experiences. His favorite pastimes include getting drunk and wanking for hours about his dream of filming a father-son drama set in the Bolivian highlands.
Kurt is also quite the ladies' man, something I fail to understand since the best way I can describe him to you is "pig face". Put him in a cop uniform and do not turn up the dance music. But now, as I have mentioned, he lives in a luxury Gramercy duplex with Aging Starlet. Before that, it was Poor Little" Rich Girl in SoHo.
With all the money he saved on rent, Kurt was able to invest in expensive gym memberships, designer shoes and plane tickets to L.A., where he began schmoozing with producers and somehow managed to finance his first movie, which begins shooting this Spring.
About this movie. I tried to read the screenplay, but I couldn't force myself to get past the first twenty pages. Have you ever had the experience of trying to read, say, a Jackie Collins book, or The New York Post, and suddenly you realize that the writing is so predigested, consisting so entirely of cliché, that what you're reading means absolutely nothing? The experience of reading has become so passive that you sort of doze off and can't find your way back?
Well, ************ is the story of a young spitfire Mexican 16-year old who takes a coyote (note use of authentic slang) to illegally cross the border into Los Estados Unidos, and then meets up with the one female character in the movie, a young Mexican prostitute, who eventually dies because of a misunderstanding, kills his male costar and impersonates him to collect his inheritance, and I don't remember what else. There are a lot of shots of Williamsburg, including inside my apartment and at any place around the neighborhood I might ever have thought was visually interesting.
Because superchango is Assistant Directing this film.
Let me repeat that. superchango, who is a musician, has no film experience whatsoever, is going to Assistant Direct the film. Because, get this, superchango is latino! Therefore, in the places in the script where blanks have been left and "street slang?" put in brackets, superchango will fill in with his native informant's ability. Never mind that he's not Mexican! Plus, he can communicate with the token Mexican actors Kurt will be flying in from South of the Border!
Hate, hate hate hate hate hate hate scream hate hate
Edit:
cuz they are bros. they can turn the world on with their smile. They can take a nothing day, and make it all seem worthwhile. Cuz it's BROS! an you know it, BROS! they gonna do it, GO! GO! DOOOO IT!!!
I have a problem. I hate superchango's best friend. I've mentioned him before as Angry Young Kept Screenwriter. We might as well give him a name. Kurt.
Kurt manages to bundle ten thousand issues into my least favorite type of physique: stocky, tall, blond and ruddy. The date rapist. The Hemmingway. The hard-livin' true-tellin' man's man, bro'ing around the world on a mission to come up with some important truths and git famous doin it. What the world needs is this dude. With nothin but a dream and lots and lots of money.
I need to summarize Kurt's background before I can proceed. He was born in Kenya to upper-middle class anthropologist parents from the Midwest on "field research", and he lived there for all of about six months. However, this experience gave him a magical superpower to intuitively understand the plight of everybody in the world without bothering to actually learn about it. Like Michael Moore with no ideas, Kurt senses the injustice in the world but refuses to sully his perception of it with facts or experiences. His favorite pastimes include getting drunk and wanking for hours about his dream of filming a father-son drama set in the Bolivian highlands.
Kurt is also quite the ladies' man, something I fail to understand since the best way I can describe him to you is "pig face". Put him in a cop uniform and do not turn up the dance music. But now, as I have mentioned, he lives in a luxury Gramercy duplex with Aging Starlet. Before that, it was Poor Little" Rich Girl in SoHo.
With all the money he saved on rent, Kurt was able to invest in expensive gym memberships, designer shoes and plane tickets to L.A., where he began schmoozing with producers and somehow managed to finance his first movie, which begins shooting this Spring.
About this movie. I tried to read the screenplay, but I couldn't force myself to get past the first twenty pages. Have you ever had the experience of trying to read, say, a Jackie Collins book, or The New York Post, and suddenly you realize that the writing is so predigested, consisting so entirely of cliché, that what you're reading means absolutely nothing? The experience of reading has become so passive that you sort of doze off and can't find your way back?
Well, ************ is the story of a young spitfire Mexican 16-year old who takes a coyote (note use of authentic slang) to illegally cross the border into Los Estados Unidos, and then meets up with the one female character in the movie, a young Mexican prostitute, who eventually dies because of a misunderstanding, kills his male costar and impersonates him to collect his inheritance, and I don't remember what else. There are a lot of shots of Williamsburg, including inside my apartment and at any place around the neighborhood I might ever have thought was visually interesting.
Because superchango is Assistant Directing this film.
Let me repeat that. superchango, who is a musician, has no film experience whatsoever, is going to Assistant Direct the film. Because, get this, superchango is latino! Therefore, in the places in the script where blanks have been left and "street slang?" put in brackets, superchango will fill in with his native informant's ability. Never mind that he's not Mexican! Plus, he can communicate with the token Mexican actors Kurt will be flying in from South of the Border!
Hate, hate hate hate hate hate hate scream hate hate
Edit:
cuz they are bros. they can turn the world on with their smile. They can take a nothing day, and make it all seem worthwhile. Cuz it's BROS! an you know it, BROS! they gonna do it, GO! GO! DOOOO IT!!!