... HMMM ....
So if anybody noticed, i was semi-happy today. I dunno if there was a difference or anything but i was. After a long 3 hours ill finally update BRAD.
Last night my brothers GF slept over, dont ask me why. School night? my mom's strictness? Nothing played its part. Made me kinda mad cuz we all had to go to bed around 10:15 (my mom made us all so she would know that my brother wouldnt sneak down or stay down here all night with her and fuck). Like thatd stop them anyway.
So its sunday night - naturally nobody can fall asleep easily because theyve been waking up late and going to bed late for the weekend. Gave lotsa time to think.
-But what i thought about was pretty... abnormal. I mean for me. For some reason i flashed back to when i was in kindergarden. A good memory. Then i decided (since it made me a little happier) id reflect my entire life. All i can remember, every event. Suprisingly i had about 30000 stored somewhere in my C drive. (brain) lol. Believe it or not, i had about 3 flashbacks every 10 seconds (could tell because i was listening to music), and it went on for about 10 or 20 minutes. Nonstop. Lotsa memories, no?
Everything ranging from... simply taking a picture when i was 3 (remembered it being taken), homedays, conventions, or little conversations that i thought i forgot about with people from elementry and middle school. Just.. my whole life played like a movie. Clear as water. By the end?
I was really excited. I couldnt sleep, my heart was racing with joy and everything. I realize that as i look back - i didnt have such a bad life. So i made a pact with myself.
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I know this didnt work before, but remember way back when i had a xanga and i kept pretending to be happy hoping id be happy because of it? I believe allyse mentioned this a few weeks ago too. Im trying it again. Because quite honestly, i have nothing to be sad about. Well of course i do but why let things get to you? Starting VERY soon, i think im gonna be a happier kid. Hopefully.
And this stuff about wanting a girlfriend? Nope, i dont need one. I realized that all i really want is someone (thats a girl because its usually more fun of course) to just hang out with and have a good time. Ive had all of those good times without one, i could continue without one. -If youre enjoying your time. Enjoying your life? What more do you need? Think the light might turning back on finally. Not to sound like a prophet...
Last night my brothers GF slept over, dont ask me why. School night? my mom's strictness? Nothing played its part. Made me kinda mad cuz we all had to go to bed around 10:15 (my mom made us all so she would know that my brother wouldnt sneak down or stay down here all night with her and fuck). Like thatd stop them anyway.
So its sunday night - naturally nobody can fall asleep easily because theyve been waking up late and going to bed late for the weekend. Gave lotsa time to think.
-But what i thought about was pretty... abnormal. I mean for me. For some reason i flashed back to when i was in kindergarden. A good memory. Then i decided (since it made me a little happier) id reflect my entire life. All i can remember, every event. Suprisingly i had about 30000 stored somewhere in my C drive. (brain) lol. Believe it or not, i had about 3 flashbacks every 10 seconds (could tell because i was listening to music), and it went on for about 10 or 20 minutes. Nonstop. Lotsa memories, no?
Everything ranging from... simply taking a picture when i was 3 (remembered it being taken), homedays, conventions, or little conversations that i thought i forgot about with people from elementry and middle school. Just.. my whole life played like a movie. Clear as water. By the end?
I was really excited. I couldnt sleep, my heart was racing with joy and everything. I realize that as i look back - i didnt have such a bad life. So i made a pact with myself.
-----------
I know this didnt work before, but remember way back when i had a xanga and i kept pretending to be happy hoping id be happy because of it? I believe allyse mentioned this a few weeks ago too. Im trying it again. Because quite honestly, i have nothing to be sad about. Well of course i do but why let things get to you? Starting VERY soon, i think im gonna be a happier kid. Hopefully.
And this stuff about wanting a girlfriend? Nope, i dont need one. I realized that all i really want is someone (thats a girl because its usually more fun of course) to just hang out with and have a good time. Ive had all of those good times without one, i could continue without one. -If youre enjoying your time. Enjoying your life? What more do you need? Think the light might turning back on finally. Not to sound like a prophet...