(no subject)
as i lay in bed, pressing redial to freeman urgent care only to get a busy signal, coughing up blood, and silently crying in pain i realized the actual reason ive been dreading a family gathering so much.
its not that i hate people so much that i cant stand being around them for a few hours. my dads side of the family isnt really that bad.
the root of it is my mother. i was laying there, thinking about just calling jarrod and having him take me to the fucking hospital, and listening to her fucking bullshit more and more every minute.
shes telling my cousins wife about all this crap that she did to raise me that was soooo great, and how long it took for her to become such a good mother and what a good child i was and blah blah blah.
ok, my mother and i fuckign hated each other for most of my life. she beat the shit out of me, i shaved a mohawk and publicly embarassed her on more than one ocassion.
and shes still got the fucking audacity to sit here and lie about MY life in front of me?!?! i want to fucking choke her.
if you dont have anything good to say about your life than maybe you shouldnt have fucked it up for yourself.
im tired of the lies. i wish i could go out there and just say "your full of shit" and leave. but that would be "just like me" always "ruining everything", right mom? and im not taking the fucking fall for just being honest today.
i want to slit my wrists.
merry christmas.
its not that i hate people so much that i cant stand being around them for a few hours. my dads side of the family isnt really that bad.
the root of it is my mother. i was laying there, thinking about just calling jarrod and having him take me to the fucking hospital, and listening to her fucking bullshit more and more every minute.
shes telling my cousins wife about all this crap that she did to raise me that was soooo great, and how long it took for her to become such a good mother and what a good child i was and blah blah blah.
ok, my mother and i fuckign hated each other for most of my life. she beat the shit out of me, i shaved a mohawk and publicly embarassed her on more than one ocassion.
and shes still got the fucking audacity to sit here and lie about MY life in front of me?!?! i want to fucking choke her.
if you dont have anything good to say about your life than maybe you shouldnt have fucked it up for yourself.
im tired of the lies. i wish i could go out there and just say "your full of shit" and leave. but that would be "just like me" always "ruining everything", right mom? and im not taking the fucking fall for just being honest today.
i want to slit my wrists.
merry christmas.