blah.....june gloom sets in, puts me in a daze
Im at home
alone
I have a million things to do
and I cant do a single one
I cant function
I cant function alone
I just want my mom
but shes never around
I want someone to help me who will do what they say they will
I need someone to depend on
to help me
I cant do this on my own
I need my mom
but when she gets home shell just yell at me for not getting anything done
and she wont listen
she wont understand
she doesnt understand my depression
Im so alone
Im in a black hole
and I cant get out
I cant do any of it
I cant do anything
without my mom
god
I wish Id had parents who would stick around
my mom doesnt see how desperatley I need her these days
Im so alone
so helpless
this is the first time in my entire life Ive been co-dependant
I dont really like it
but I just need my mom
is that such a bad thing so say?
to need?
to want?
to admit?
Ive got hours until she comes home and I dont know what to do with myself until then
I want her
I need her
I need someone
I hope Amanda (AKA chika) calls me today
I really love talking to her
I wish she lived closer
or I lived closer to her
shes absolutley amazing
I just freaking love her
I wish I could crochette (sp?)
Im so broke
christmas is ganna suck
all I want to do is give the people I care about amazing gifts to show how much I love them
and I cant
everything sucks
Im supposed to be packing all my shit to move and I just cant
I miss my mom
I want my mom
I wish we were moved into our house already
but that wont happen today
cause I cant pack my things without her
Im surrounded by mass clutter and I dont know where to start
Im such a fucking failure at everything
Im a worthless piece of shit
god
I cant even do anything
I cant show the people I care about that I care
I hate my life
I want to cry
Im ganna go and try to take myself out of my misery
maybe Ill do some sort of art thing
maybe
I dunno
maybe my mom would get mad if I did that instead of packing
ugh
mom hates my art anyways
heh
blah
I just want to die and if I keep typing Ill never stop
so Ill just stop here
<33
alone
I have a million things to do
and I cant do a single one
I cant function
I cant function alone
I just want my mom
but shes never around
I want someone to help me who will do what they say they will
I need someone to depend on
to help me
I cant do this on my own
I need my mom
but when she gets home shell just yell at me for not getting anything done
and she wont listen
she wont understand
she doesnt understand my depression
Im so alone
Im in a black hole
and I cant get out
I cant do any of it
I cant do anything
without my mom
god
I wish Id had parents who would stick around
my mom doesnt see how desperatley I need her these days
Im so alone
so helpless
this is the first time in my entire life Ive been co-dependant
I dont really like it
but I just need my mom
is that such a bad thing so say?
to need?
to want?
to admit?
Ive got hours until she comes home and I dont know what to do with myself until then
I want her
I need her
I need someone
I hope Amanda (AKA chika) calls me today
I really love talking to her
I wish she lived closer
or I lived closer to her
shes absolutley amazing
I just freaking love her
I wish I could crochette (sp?)
Im so broke
christmas is ganna suck
all I want to do is give the people I care about amazing gifts to show how much I love them
and I cant
everything sucks
Im supposed to be packing all my shit to move and I just cant
I miss my mom
I want my mom
I wish we were moved into our house already
but that wont happen today
cause I cant pack my things without her
Im surrounded by mass clutter and I dont know where to start
Im such a fucking failure at everything
Im a worthless piece of shit
god
I cant even do anything
I cant show the people I care about that I care
I hate my life
I want to cry
Im ganna go and try to take myself out of my misery
maybe Ill do some sort of art thing
maybe
I dunno
maybe my mom would get mad if I did that instead of packing
ugh
mom hates my art anyways
heh
blah
I just want to die and if I keep typing Ill never stop
so Ill just stop here
<33