accept it
accept it
just learn to accept everything you're given
everything you hate
just accept it
today I was guaranteed 100% that I would have sex
as in I could have with out any 'mabeys' or 'it could happens'
I have been talking about getting laid for....
well forever
but I just didnt want to
I cancelled
no matter what I would want or how I might regret it
I didnt
accept it
I dont want to be around people
I dont want to have sex
I dont want to talk
accept it
on any normal occasion I would have done it anyways just for the 'normalness' of it
I always do things that are normal
to feel normal
to make someone think Im normal
to pretend if just for an instant that I am normal and do normal things
accept it
but I am so far gone
so far from anywhere I have ever been near
accept it
at this point I dont even care
dont care to feel normal
dont care to seem normal
dont care to do normal things
dont care to pretend Im normal
accept it
I dont know what to do with myself honestly
Ive never felt like this before
no where close
accept it
but oddly Im comftorable where I am
I dont seem to care where I am
I suppose because Im not trying to convience myself Im normal anymore
I just dont know
accept it
I want to be alone
always
I dont want to hear you talk
I dont want you to talk to me
I just want my music and ciggarettes
hearing you talk makes me have anxiety attacks and angry and like I will explode
she will never stop yelling
yelling every word that come out of her god damn mouth
every word that I long to choke and watch turn blue and die
just fade away
I want silence
accept it
accept it
accept it
I have more things that I cant accept
but I dont want to tell you
you will think Im just an exagerating teenager
you wont understand the seriousness
even if I tell you
its like the most favorite man in a town that is perfect
everyone loves him
he can do no wrong
but his daughter claims he molests her
but because of what they thought before of the man they call the daughter a liar
she made it up
and the daughter will continue being raped everynight by her own father
and no one cares
no one wants to believe her
no one does believe her
accept it
I just closed the door to the computer room and as I closed the door my aunt made a face
it was a 'just shut the door again like you always do and no one wants you to...you'r such a fuckup, you're so weird'
to understand the face I should tell you I almost cried
but decided it wasnt worth it
because everyone thinks that way of me now
no one cares
and Im just taking up space, air, and a computer chair
accept it
at this point I want to fill myself with drugs
drink till I cant feel
cut until I cant breathe
but thats not even worth it
its just not worth the time and effort
Im not worth it
accepted
Im not just telling you to accept these things when I write it
Im telling myself too
some are just for you
some are just for me
some are for everyone
Im telling myself too
trying to make myself
convience myself
just accept these things
because they wont change
I cant do anything about them
I will never be able to
no matter how bad they hurt
nothing will change
and they wont get better
unless you accept it
accept it
Ive almost stopped talking completley
I cant fake a smile anymore
I cant fake happy
Im just a lump moving around
and smoking too much
but Im fine
Ive never been better
because this is me
this is me being me
not trying to be normal to anyone
not even myself
and Im happy with you thinking Ive lost it
Im trying to accept that I do not and will not have friends
not aslong as I live here
Ive accepted the fact
because its already true
its just the lonliness I have to accept
but its ok
I dont know why I try
because Im comftorable lonley
not happy
but Im happy being me
which is odd
unexcepted
unwanted
lonley
and Im happy
there are more things I need to accept
but I wont put them here
I already told you why
Im going to smoke and think of what I will do
which will probably be to sit on here writing some thing to myself that no one will read
and Im ok with that
accepted
Why do I do this?
you dont even know the question
so dont anwser
accept it
END OF POST.
just learn to accept everything you're given
everything you hate
just accept it
today I was guaranteed 100% that I would have sex
as in I could have with out any 'mabeys' or 'it could happens'
I have been talking about getting laid for....
well forever
but I just didnt want to
I cancelled
no matter what I would want or how I might regret it
I didnt
accept it
I dont want to be around people
I dont want to have sex
I dont want to talk
accept it
on any normal occasion I would have done it anyways just for the 'normalness' of it
I always do things that are normal
to feel normal
to make someone think Im normal
to pretend if just for an instant that I am normal and do normal things
accept it
but I am so far gone
so far from anywhere I have ever been near
accept it
at this point I dont even care
dont care to feel normal
dont care to seem normal
dont care to do normal things
dont care to pretend Im normal
accept it
I dont know what to do with myself honestly
Ive never felt like this before
no where close
accept it
but oddly Im comftorable where I am
I dont seem to care where I am
I suppose because Im not trying to convience myself Im normal anymore
I just dont know
accept it
I want to be alone
always
I dont want to hear you talk
I dont want you to talk to me
I just want my music and ciggarettes
hearing you talk makes me have anxiety attacks and angry and like I will explode
she will never stop yelling
yelling every word that come out of her god damn mouth
every word that I long to choke and watch turn blue and die
just fade away
I want silence
accept it
accept it
accept it
I have more things that I cant accept
but I dont want to tell you
you will think Im just an exagerating teenager
you wont understand the seriousness
even if I tell you
its like the most favorite man in a town that is perfect
everyone loves him
he can do no wrong
but his daughter claims he molests her
but because of what they thought before of the man they call the daughter a liar
she made it up
and the daughter will continue being raped everynight by her own father
and no one cares
no one wants to believe her
no one does believe her
accept it
I just closed the door to the computer room and as I closed the door my aunt made a face
it was a 'just shut the door again like you always do and no one wants you to...you'r such a fuckup, you're so weird'
to understand the face I should tell you I almost cried
but decided it wasnt worth it
because everyone thinks that way of me now
no one cares
and Im just taking up space, air, and a computer chair
accept it
at this point I want to fill myself with drugs
drink till I cant feel
cut until I cant breathe
but thats not even worth it
its just not worth the time and effort
Im not worth it
accepted
Im not just telling you to accept these things when I write it
Im telling myself too
some are just for you
some are just for me
some are for everyone
Im telling myself too
trying to make myself
convience myself
just accept these things
because they wont change
I cant do anything about them
I will never be able to
no matter how bad they hurt
nothing will change
and they wont get better
unless you accept it
accept it
Ive almost stopped talking completley
I cant fake a smile anymore
I cant fake happy
Im just a lump moving around
and smoking too much
but Im fine
Ive never been better
because this is me
this is me being me
not trying to be normal to anyone
not even myself
and Im happy with you thinking Ive lost it
Im trying to accept that I do not and will not have friends
not aslong as I live here
Ive accepted the fact
because its already true
its just the lonliness I have to accept
but its ok
I dont know why I try
because Im comftorable lonley
not happy
but Im happy being me
which is odd
unexcepted
unwanted
lonley
and Im happy
there are more things I need to accept
but I wont put them here
I already told you why
Im going to smoke and think of what I will do
which will probably be to sit on here writing some thing to myself that no one will read
and Im ok with that
accepted
Why do I do this?
you dont even know the question
so dont anwser
accept it
END OF POST.