sobriety sucks sometimes
My heartbeat is stuck at 20 years old. I had friends I could call or meet for drinks.' My sober mind says 'there are no friends out there,your friends are waiting for you at an AA meeting.'i have yet to accept my destiny. I have yet to accept that my life with those 10 years ago is dead and gone. The day I accept this is the day I will never feel alone. When i open myself up to new people i will have those relationships. Its hard to make friends when I've isolated from everyone but Dane and AA for 2yrs and 8months.i tried reconnecting but I'm just not the wild girl anymore. That's what people expect and want. I make them uncomfortable. They think if I see them drink alcohol I must want it. The obsession to drink was removed. I am in a neutral place. I don't hate it and I don't care what others do with it. But I might just tackle you for a cheese fry.lol
haven't had this much self-pty in a long while. Good thing I'm meeting rebecca(my sponsor) at the noon mtg.
good news is I don't want alcohol. That is not the answer. I will pray for the answer. Perhaps I will open myself up to more ppl. Taking my medication will help.
I have to open myself up to new places and ppl. I really thought I had...but obviously not.
haven't had this much self-pty in a long while. Good thing I'm meeting rebecca(my sponsor) at the noon mtg.
good news is I don't want alcohol. That is not the answer. I will pray for the answer. Perhaps I will open myself up to more ppl. Taking my medication will help.
I have to open myself up to new places and ppl. I really thought I had...but obviously not.