(no subject)
Hello to those who are bored and reading my lj.
What's new in the life of Darcey? depression -sigh* What else? I don't know what to do...some, well, most, say I don't know what I want. & they're right. I thought I knew, but how can things ever work out if I'm afraid to talk to any0ne. I can't open up to anyone. I feel like I'm here sitting in front of the computer doing pointless things and those who care about me, or at least I hope care, are just passing me by. I'm growing farther and farther away from them. I don't want to make anyone else depressed. I feel like that's all I am nowadays. My sense of complete bad timing has seen more than one person I thought I might be able to talk to move on and basically out of my life. I want to talk to you, but I'm so scared... What can an awkward phone call do? Nothing. .
And on the other side. Those whom I dare to even consider getting close to, I just hurt. I hate myself for that. You could say I push people away. I don't intend to. I wish I had someone who would drop anything if I needed to talk, well to an extent. But I suppose....happiness is just a selfish dream. .
But I'll always be here, if anyone else needs anything. =/
Darcey
What's new in the life of Darcey? depression -sigh* What else? I don't know what to do...some, well, most, say I don't know what I want. & they're right. I thought I knew, but how can things ever work out if I'm afraid to talk to any0ne. I can't open up to anyone. I feel like I'm here sitting in front of the computer doing pointless things and those who care about me, or at least I hope care, are just passing me by. I'm growing farther and farther away from them. I don't want to make anyone else depressed. I feel like that's all I am nowadays. My sense of complete bad timing has seen more than one person I thought I might be able to talk to move on and basically out of my life. I want to talk to you, but I'm so scared... What can an awkward phone call do? Nothing. .
And on the other side. Those whom I dare to even consider getting close to, I just hurt. I hate myself for that. You could say I push people away. I don't intend to. I wish I had someone who would drop anything if I needed to talk, well to an extent. But I suppose....happiness is just a selfish dream. .
But I'll always be here, if anyone else needs anything. =/
Darcey