Actions Speak Louder
Title: Actions Speak Louder
Pairing: HaeHyuk, HyukHae
Rating: PG
Genre: romance, fluff
Disclaimer: I wish
Warnings: mentions of sex, language
Summary: Hyukjae thinks about words, love, and, most of all, Donghae.
Hyukjae stares at Donghae’s sleeping form, wondering how it is possible for one person to have such an impact on his life. Then again, Donghae has proven time and again to defy all of Hyukjae’s expectations. Propping himself up on his elbow, Hyukjae traces the familiar features of Donghae’s face with his eyes before reaching out to do it with his fingers.
Years of the thick, corrosive make-up they wear has taken its toll on Donghae, and his skin isn’t quite as soft as it was the first time Hyukjae dared to touch it so many moons ago. There are blemishes, a few scars left over from Donghae’s war with pimples during his stay in China. But these imperfections don’t do anything to mar Donghae’s beauty (yes, Hyukjae thinks the word “beautiful” is for women, but no other word does Donghae justice); if anything, they only serve to emphasize his natural good looks.
Donghae’s hair is getting long again, and the younger usually keeps it tied back in a small, messy half ponytail. But because his hair isn’t quite long enough yet, the shorter strands escape captivity to fall all around Donghae’s face. Hyukjae secretly likes Donghae’s hair like this, because even though shorter hair gives Donghae a sexier edge, this style gives Hyukjae an excuse to run his fingers through the smooth tresses under the pretense of fixing it.
Donghae has a really refined nose, straight and symmetrical. It gives him an almost regal air, like the finishing touch to a beautifully sculpted countenance. Of course, there are also those times when Donghae makes a face and his nose wrinkles in the most adorable manner, but what Hyukjae likes most about Donghae’s nose is what Donghae does with it. When they lie in bed together, limbs tangled, Donghae likes to nuzzle Hyukjae’s hair affectionately before moving lower to trace his jaw line, an action that, coupled with Donghae’s words (“It’s not weird. This is how Eskimos kiss, don’t you know?”), without fail, always makes Hyukjae’s pulse quicken.
If eyes are the windows to a person’s soul, then Donghae never closes the curtains. The brown orbs convey exactly what the brunette is feeling- happy, sad, angry, tired- without any restraint. Hyukjae is grateful for Donghae’s ability to express his feelings like so as it allows Hyukjae a peek into the inner workings of Donghae’s mind, but although he would never admit it, it is also the part of Donghae that Hyukjae fears the most. Because if one look can lift Hyukjae from the darkest corners of his own mind, another can cut Hyukjae deeper than any knife ever can.
Lips like Donghae’s are practically a sin. Although they are thin, Hyukjae swears that no one has more kissable lips than Donghae (except himself, naturally). Sometimes, Hyukjae can’t stop himself from staring whilst licking his own lips. There’s also the fact that Donghae more often than not has his mouth open. The very visible moist tongue is enough to distract Hyukjae from the performance with thoughts of what exactly that tongue is capable of (Donghae does it on purpose, Hyukjae swears as the younger runs that tongue over his teeth and flashes Hyukjae a cheeky wink).
When Donghae smiles, his lips first stretch into a thin line. Then, the corners will curl up and his infamous eye smile comes out. There’s a flash of white teeth before a hand comes up to try and suppress a laugh. A fruitless effort as, not five seconds later, a chuckle will bubble up and escape as brown eyes sparkle merrily like they contain all the joy in the world. The reason Hyukjae knows this is not because he’s been held, entranced, for the million and one times Donghae has smiled at him. No, absolutely not entranced (okay, maybe a little).
If Donghae’s body is a grand piano, then Hyukjae is ready to be the next Beethoven. He knows a kiss to the foot will earn him a soft laugh; caresses along the length of the arm receive a sigh of content; running a finger down the spine gets a shiver and an almost inaudible moan; most interestingly, touching Donghae’s inner thighs will probably mean a knee to the face (Hyukjae had a swollen nose for two days after that particular accident. Donghae’s, “At least it’s not broken,” really didn’t help). Hyukjae’s favorite parts of Donghae’s body, though, are his abs. He could spend hours just tracing the toned muscles, doodling whatever nonsense comes to mind. But he will never in his life admit to Donghae that he thinks the younger’s abdominal muscles are better than his own (imagine how insufferable Donghae would get).
But it’s not Donghae’s physical self that makes him so entirely lovable.
Donghae is warm. Being hugged by him is not unlike basking in the sun. Like turning one’s face to better soak up the heat, Hyukjae automatically leans into the hugs despite his aversion to too much public skinship. Donghae’s arms are always strong yet gentle, comforting despite his body being almost stiflingly hot, especially after a performance or in the summer- a little heat that Hyukjae can deal with if it means feeling Donghae’s body pressed against his.
The dance moves don’t come as naturally to Donghae as they do for Hyukjae; he struggles to learn the sharp, clean steps of the routines. But what he lacks in precision, he makes up in passion, flowing across the practice room with wide, strong movements. Donghae dances like he wants to break the dance floor, and more often than not, Hyukjae worries that Donghae will injure himself. However, there’s no denying the look in Donghae’s eyes, so full of life and exhilaration, so Hyukjae keeps his silence and joins in, moves in near perfect sync with Donghae’s from years and years of practice.
Donghae has one of the better voices in Super Junior, but definitely not the best. Hyukjae concedes that Donghae’s singing is superior to his own, but compared to Yesung, Sungmin, Ryeowook, or Kyuhyun? Not a chance. Hyukjae knows, however, that Donghae works hard on his singing, perhaps even more so than he does on his dancing. Because all dreams should be fulfilled, no matter in what shape or form, Donghae tells him, with a forced quirk of his lips. Hyukjae wants so much to say something in those moments (to tell him that Hyukjae knows that he is definitely proud of Donghae), but he can never (will never) find the right words to alleviate the burden Donghae carries in his heart.
Donghae is very open with his emotions, never hesitating to show his affection and love. He says, “I love you,” to Hyukjae at least three times a day. As though that isn’t already enough, his eyes and body language reflect the exact same thing a million times over. Hyukjae knows Donghae wants to hear it too, but for someone so good at speaking, Hyukjae finds those three little words terrifying and binding. So when Donghae professes his feelings and waits for a response, Hyukjae can only hope that Donghae knows what his short non-responses really mean (Hyukjae pretends that he doesn’t see the light in Donghae’s eyes fade a little).
Donghae is not the god fans make him out to be. He is imperfect, almost annoyingly so, and has more flaws then Hyukjae can count.
One reason Hyukjae doesn’t get enough sleep is Donghae. Everything would be going perfectly fine, with Hyukjae deep in his dreams about life-sized roasted chickens dancing to Gee, when he would be unceremoniously awoken by a loud thump. Peeking out of the covers, he would notice Donghae had, once again, fallen out of bed (jeez, was there ever a night that the stupid fish didn’t fall out of bed? What’s so hard about not falling out of bed?). And the nerve of him, Donghae would always shove Hyukjae off the bed as though it is all Hyukjae’s fault, and proceed to hog the blankets for the rest of the night, leaving Hyukjae cold and very much awake.
Donghae isn’t as spacey as fans seem to think; in fact, there are times when Hyukjae thinks it’s plausible for Donghae to be one of the smartest members of the group (must be a byproduct of Heechul’s company). That being said, Donghae can also be the most oblivious person in the world. Does he not notice when Siwon slings an arm over Hyukjae’s shoulders and pulls him in for an all too touchy hug? Or when Hyukjae chooses to peck Sungmin’s cheek? Or when he and Heechul kiss right in front of Donghae’s face? Hyukjae knows jealousy is not a good emotion, but why is Donghae so laidback about his skinship with other people? Oddly enough, Donghae reacts a lot more to his watching porn, complaining, whining, and throwing out statements such as, “So am I not good enough?” and, “I would not tap that”. So Hyukjae continues watching, more for the reaction than the porn itself, not caring if his reputation goes down the drain (too late to save it anyways, with people like Jungsu and Youngwoon revealing dorm secrets) because what’s reputation compared to proof that Donghae cares?
To say Donghae is clingy is an understatement; Hyukjae swears that the resident fish must be part barnacle. Honestly, the fact that Donghae feels the need to text him every ten minutes when they’re in the same city befuddles him. It pisses him off even more when Donghae is in China, as though the younger is constantly reminding him what a great time he is having without Hyukjae, winning the hearts of foreign fangirls and learning how to say, “You’re my precious angels,” and eating things like roast duck, spicy lobsters, and mutton kebabs. As much as Hyukjae’s inner child wants to hate Donghae for this, he knows that it’s not true, that under that cheerful façade, Donghae is feeling lost, overwhelmed, and more than a little lonely. But Hyukjae doesn’t know how to deal with this, how to tell Donghae that hearing his teeny voice over the hundreds of miles makes him miss Donghae all the more, so Hyukjae stops picking up the phone all together, ignoring the guilt gnawing at his conscience.
For all of his imperfections, Donghae has proven time and again to be the most compatible person for Hyukjae.
They don’t have any kind of telepathic connection, thankfully, because frankly, Hyukjae is a little scared of what goes on in Donghae’s head. But there really is no need for guessing; Donghae’s thoughts are written all over his face. Therefore, Hyukjae knows what Donghae wants, knows he wants Hyukjae to talk to him, confide in him, trust him with his problems. But never has Donghae vocalized this, as though sensing Hyukjae’s discomfort with such things, simply choosing to be there should Hyukjae ever need him. For this, Hyukjae is forever grateful, and hopes that by listening to Donghae vent about his problems, he can repay a fraction of the empathy the younger has shown him.
They do have this strange link though, something that mortifies Hyukjae a little. Truthfully, Donghae is the member that cries the most, but somehow Hyukjae is often stuck with the title. Why? Because whenever Donghae cries (and he does do that often), Hyukjae, whether he is feeling emotional or not, automatically starts crying too.
Their relationship would probably be a lot less exciting without all the competitions they have with each other. Hyukjae doesn’t know why, but they enjoy clashing over everything, from who can jump the highest (Donghae) to who can garner the loudest screams from the fans (Hyukjae of course) to, the most important of them all, who gets to top that night (Hyukjae doesn’t keep track of this because, pssh, who cares if Donghae topped eleven more times than he did?). There’s no reason for these games, pointless really. But when Hyukjae sees the animated expression on a determined Donghae’s face, he supposes that it’s all worth it. And the bragging rights are nice too.
Donghae shifts a little in his sleep, rousing Hyukjae from his thoughts. Amused, Hyukjae watches as Donghae scrunches his nose before his face relaxes, expression not unlike that of a satisfied cat. With a small laugh, Hyukjae quietly slips out of bed to search for his camera, wanting to capture the moment. He gets to the second drawer of his desk when the sheets rustle, indicating the younger is awake.
“What are you doing, Hyukjae?” mumbles Donghae sleepily.
“Sorry,” Hyukjae says apologetically. “Did I wake you?”
Donghae snorts. “Nothing new there.” There’s the sound of Donghae rolling over, and Hyukjae can feel eyes watching his movements. “Hey, come back to bed.”
“In a minute,” Hyukjae replies, shutting the drawer. “I can’t find my camera.”
“Bookshelf, next to the mug of pencils.”
Hyukjae successfully locates the camera and walks back over to the bed to snap a picture of Donghae laid bare in all his glory. “Thanks babe,” says Hyukjae, leaning over to peck Donghae on the lips.
“Hmm,” Donghae hums, lifting a hand to idly stroke Hyukjae’s face. “That picture better not find its way onto Twitter.”
“It won’t,” Hyukjae assures him. After all, the beautiful sight of Donghae with tousled hair, half-lidded eyes, and a lazy smile playing on his lips is a privilege that is for him and him alone. Hyukjae glances hesitantly at Donghae. “Donghae?”
“Yeah?”
Hyukjae swallows, pulse quickening. “I…I, you know, I…” He pauses as his heart thumps impossibly hard in his chest. Hyukjae hears Donghae’s quiet intake of breath, feels the way the fingers on his cheek stiffen for a fraction of a second. “I-”
Donghae chuckles a little, much to Hyukjae’s surprise. “I know, Hyukjae. You don’t have to say it. I love you too.”
“But,” Hyukjae protests. That is what Donghae wants.
Donghae tugs Hyukjae down to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Just because you don’t say it doesn’t mean you don’t feel it,” he whispers, breath warm on Hyukjae’s skin. “And it’s alright. I mean, you show it even though you deny it every time.”
A smile tugs at Hyukjae’s lips, and he wonders not for the first time what he has done to deserve this much. It’s not easy to describe how his heart seems to swell or how complete he feels, so he changes the subject. “Hey, how about we go for round two?” he suggests, smile turning into a smirk.
Donghae eyeballs him. “Would love to, but my butt hurts.”
“Well, mine doesn’t,” Hyukjae points out suggestively.
Donghae grins, pulling Hyukjae in for a long kiss. “Let’s do something about that then.”
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A/N: I think this one is a lot choppier than the other one. I blame it on the fact that Eunhyuk's POV is so hard for me to write.
By the way, does anyone know how to post to the pretty white page? I still can't figure it out OTL