An Epic Quest to Find True Love Part 1
Title: An Epic Quest to Find True Love
Pairing: MinKyu
Minor Pairings: YeWook, EunHae, ninja! HanChul, even more ninja! KangTeuk
Part: 1
Rating: PG
Genre: romance, humor
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them
Warnings: nothing for now
Summary: Sungmin is banished from the land of Aegyo until he has found his one true love. He instead encounters a cowboy-esque stablehand, a Pokemon trainer, and aspiring campfire singers among others. And this is just the beginning.
Never in the 24 years of his existence had Lee Sungmin ever heard something so ridiculous.
He stood stiffly with both fists clenched into tight balls as he willed himself to regain control of his emotions. The muscle in his jaw twitched as he stared at the person before him, Her Royal Highness Majestic Grace Worship Excellency Honor Ladyship Reverence Awesomesauce the Queen of Aegyo. In less ink, that would be Sungmin’s mother.
“Sunny, that is the most ridiculous idea you’ve ever had, including the time you decided to cook us dinner and gave half the castle food poisoning,” declared Sungmin.
The glare he received from the normally cute girl would have melted any lesser being to a mass of quivering jello. Sungmin did not melt (his knees might have trembled a bit, but that was beside the point).
Sunny huffed and waved her scepter at Sungmin in an agitated manner. “Don’t be so informal with me! How many times do I have to tell you? I’m your mother! Call me Mother! Or Mom! Or Her Royal Highness Majestic Grace Worship Excellency Honor Ladyship Reverence Awesomesauce the Queen of Aegyo! Beyonce would be fine too.”
Sungmin ducked as the metal lollipop ornament detached itself from the scepter and flew over his head where his face had been not too long ago. “How many times do I have to tell you? You are not my mother. I’m older than you by a good three years.”
Sunny’s annoyed expression crumpled and she gazed at Sungmin, eyes filled with tears. “Sungmin, you’re such a strong child. You’ve grown up without parents, living in the pits of solitary despair! I just don’t want you to have parental issues when you grow up! Promise me you’ll never go around asking power shovels if they are your mother!”
Sungmin rolled his eyes at his cousin’s theatrics. “It’s a bit too late to worry about that,” Sungmin said dryly. “I can assure you that I grew up perfectly fine; it’s you that I worry about. Have you ever considered taking up acting? Or perhaps medication?”
Sunny’s tears disappeared in the blink of an eye and she beamed, twirling a finger around her long hair bashfully. “Aw, that’s so sweet of you!” she gushed. “Many other people tell me I should become a pop idol too! But who else would run this kingdom? There’s simply no one cute enough!”
Sunny glanced at Sungmin’s profile. The impassive expression did nothing to hide the blatant good looks. Smooth pale skin contrasted sharply with dark hair, which was styled into a fringe half covering one eye. Perfect cupid bow lips were drawn into a thin line and eyes like two black holes seem to bore into Sunny. Despite the intimidating picture she was presented, Sunny knew the carefully controlled power Sungmin had was only part of what made him so lethal.
Indeed, Sunny had once witnessed the full force of The Sungmin Aegyo and was proud to have escaped unscathed. Mostly. Sunny shook her head and flailed her arms around wildly. She got off her throne and glomped a mildly surprised Sungmin.
“Except for you! You would make the greatest ruler in the history of Aegyo! Never before has there been a recorded aegyo as powerful as yours!” Sunny peered up at Sungmin with wide doe eyes. “How about it? I’ll be a generous ruler and give you a choice! Which would you rather do?”
Sungmin sighed and set the girl down on her feet. “Sunny, you know I don’t want to rule Aegyo; I’ve been saying that for years. Nor do I want to ‘go on an epic quest to find true love.’ You should know that stuff only exists in fairytales.”
“You’re such a cold person, Lee Sungmin!” cried Sunny. “So be it! You will go on the quest! I won’t let you step foot back into the castle until you’ve found your true love!”
Sungmin blinked at her outburst. In an exasperated tone, he said “Sunny, you’re being-“
“If you tell me I’m being unreasonable, I’ll strap you to the floor and walk all over you with my sharpest stilettos,” snarled Sunny. “I’ll allow you to bring one person with you, so choose wisely, my dear son.” Sunny threw back her head and let out the scariest, evil laugh known to mankind. Then she made an odd choking noise.
“Sunny?” asked Sungmin hesitatingly, taking a step forward towards the violently coughing girl. “Are you alright?”
Sunny’s head snapped up and she sent Sungmin a dazzling smile. “Lollipops?” she offered sweetly, holding up the sugary treat.
Sungmin shook his head in disbelief and left the room. Perhaps an extended trip away from his clearly insane cousin would do him much good
-
“So Sunny is forcing you to go on an epic quest to find true love? When are you leaving?”
Sungmin gave a long suffering sigh. “Knowing her, she’ll throw me out as soon as possible. An hour, give or take.”
Shindong and Zhou Mi gave Sungmin identical looks of pity.
“It can’t be that bad,” said Shindong consolingly, patting Sungmin’s smooth hand with his pruney fingers.
“I think it’s very romantic!” cried Zhou Mi. Sungmin quickly pulled his hand away before Zhou Mi could touch him with his grimy hands.
The three friends were currently sitting under the shade of a tree that was positioned at the top of a hill a little ways from the castle. It was a favorite spot of theirs, as the slight height advantage the hill gave a great back view of the castle and allowed them to observe the servants’ activities undetected. Also, the tree occasionally dropped apples on their heads. There was an ongoing bet as to who would be hit first each day.
Sungmin looked at his friends, a rare feeling of affection rising in him. He wondered when he would see them again.
Shindong was Sungmin’s childhood friend. They knew everything about each other and Sungmin suspected Shindong knew Sungmin more than he did himself. He took note of Shindong’s normal skin tone.
“I take it the pool was safe today?” Sungmin said, more as a statement.
Shindong nodded. “Nothing was wrong,” he said, puffing out his chest. He took great pride in his job as a pool tester, a position created ten years prior. Sungmin’s uncle, then the king, had cannonballed into the pool, only to discover that some prankster had put blue dye into the pool. The king spent weeks with sapphire blue skin and was even mistaken as a member of a small, blue clan that resided deep in the forest. After Shindong’s appointment to the position, Sungmin had seen his friend in every color of the rainbow, but unsuspecting swimmers were now safe.
Zhou Mi snorted. “Only Sunny and Yuri use the pool. The chimneys are much more important. A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be.”
Zhou Mi had floated down via umbrella years ago and declared himself to be Gentleman Mimi the chimney sweep. He was also wearing a dress that appeared to be made from meat. Very odd. The oddest part, however, was that no one questioned him and he was readily accepted, meaty dress and all.
Shindong sniffed condescendingly at Zhou Mi and turned his attention to Sungmin. “So who are you going to bring with you?”
Zhou Mi perked up. “Oh, oh, oh! Pick me, pick me!”
Sungmin frowned slightly. “I’ve considered everyone in the castle and the person I think will be best is Kyuhyun.”
“Yay!” cheered Zhou Mi. “Oh, wait what? Kyuhyun? You chose a snarky stable boy over me?!”
“Yes,” was the short reply.
“You’re such a cold person!” wailed Zhou Mi. He flung himself to the ground and sobbed dramatically.
“Kyuhyun is really smart and can think on his feet,” said Shindong acknowledging. He paused thoughtfully. “Hey Sungmin, the one person rule…it doesn’t include Henry, right?”
There was a small squeak overhead at the mention of the name.
Sungmin glanced up at the tree, slightly amused. “No, I don’t think so. It’s not like I’m taking him by choice; Sunny of all people should know that.”
“Don’t be so cold to the poor kid,” chided Shindong.
Sungmin shrugged indifferently. “What Henry does is none of my business.”
Shindong frowned and would have launched into a lecture had Zhou Mi, who had been pouting on the side due to the fact that his two friends ignored his tears of distress, not suddenly made an excited noise.
“Look!” cried Zhou Mi, pointing towards the sky.
Sungmin and Shindong followed his gaze and gaped at the spectacle they were presented: a cute (that’s a given) pink pig with white wings was flying over the castle towards the morning sun.
“A flying pig,” murmured Sungmin, voice laced with disbelief and reverence.
“Seeing a flying pig is even luckier than shaking hands with me!” Zhou Mi snatched up Sungmin’s hand before the latter could pull away. “It’s a sign from the pure goddess Lady Gaga! You will find true love very soon!”
Sungmin gave his two friends a small smile. “Maybe.”
-
Sungmin started his epic quest to find true love. He walked as quickly as possible as to distance himself from the embarrassing display being put up. He hummed a song loudly in a failed attempt to ignore his cousin’s ‘good luck’s, ‘have fun’s, ‘bring me back a souvenir’s, and ‘Lee Sungmin pink does not go with leather’s.
Sungmin breathed a sigh of relief as the castle doors shut behind him, effectively cutting Sunny off. Sungmin smoothed down his pink leather jacket (because despite what Sunny thinks, Sungmin is gosh darn hot in it) and looked at the path he was slated to take.
The road extended farther than the eye could see. Judging by the green blotches at the horizon, Sungmin surmised the road would lead right through a forest to the next kingdom over. He mentally calculated how long it would take. Most likely, he would have to set up camp in the middle of the forest and continue the journey the next day. Sungmin nodded, satisfied, and started walking.
“Hyung?”
Sungmin blinked at the smooth voice and he looked over at the person whose presence he momentarily forgot.
“Yes, Kyuhyun-sshi?”
The stable boy, Sungmin noted with distaste, was several inches taller than him despite the fact that said stable boy was two years his junior. He glanced down at Kyuhyun’s black boots. That must be the reason why, Sungmin concluded. No, Sungmin was absolutely not jealous of those long legs encased in black pants.
Kyuhyun fiddled with his open black leather jacket (Sungmin wondered why the boy was wearing all black. Surely pink would have been a better choice for travel clothing).
“Hyung, we don’t have anything but the clothes on our backs,” stated Kyuhyun with a slight frown.
“I can see that,” said Sungmin, rolling his eyes. “What’s your point?”
Kyuhyun’s frown deepened. “My point is we’re going to die in the wilderness.”
“No we’re not,” scoffed Sungmin. He reached out and tugged Kyuhyun’s cowboy hat down over his dongsaeng’s eyes.
Kyuhyun swatted Sungmin’s hand away irritably. “What’s your great plan then, smart one?” he asked sarcastically.
Sungmin frowned at the tone in Kyuhyun’s voice. It was so cheeky, it wasn’t even cute. “Are you sure you can from Aegyo? You’re not cute at all.”
It was Kyuhyun’s turn to scoff. “I wish I came from somewhere else. All that cuteness is more than I can bear.” He then gave Sungmin a once over. “Like a pig calling a cow delicious. You’re not cute either.”
Sungmin picked up his walking pace, not liking how effortlessly Kyuhyun kept up with him. “You know, I’m really starting to regret picking you. You really are a big pain in the butt.”
Kyuhyun made a heart with his fingers. “I love you too,” he said mockingly. “And the pain you feel is because you have a lollipop up yours.”
Sungmin congratulated himself on not punching out the younger boy then and there.
-
A/N: I wasn't planning on posting this just yet, but I was listening to the new OST and I realized Sungmin only sings two lines! Preposterous! That guy deserves so much more promotion than they give him. Anyways, this fic was actually written for Autumn Night's contest (if you don't know her, go Google her now. She's an insanely amazing author). I love Sunny; can anyone tell?