Aww Man!
Title: Aww Man!
Characters: Super Junior M
Pairings: HyukHae, MinKyu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: crack
Disclaimer: I wish
Warnings: gender switch, mentions of sex, language
Summary: Super Junior M wakes up one morning as girls. Some take it badly. Most take it too well.
The digital clock on the bedside table read 5:45 AM. Eunhyuk leaned over to turn the alarm off before it could start blaring. Turning his bleary gaze towards the human-shaped lump next to him (Donghae always hogged the blankets, but Eunhyuk didn’t have the heart to tell him off because, damn it, Donghae looked too cute in his blanket cocoon), Eunhyuk nudged Donghae with his foot.
“Hae, wake up. We have early schedules today.”
Without waiting for a response, Eunhyuk started looking for his boxers, which were no doubt thrown off into some corner due to their haste the previous night. There was a loud yawn behind him, accompanied by the rustling of blankets, and Eunhyuk knew that Donghae was awake.
“Do you see my boxers? I can’t-”
“Uh, Hyuk?” Donghae cut in abruptly. “You’re kind of a girl.”
Eunhyuk took great offense to the comment, because exactly who was it pounding who into the mattress last night? Yeah, that’s what he thought. “Stop spouting nonsense,” replied Eunhyuk, leaning down to pick up Donghae’s shirt and throwing it backwards in the younger’s general direction.
“I mean it, Eunhyuk.” The mattress springs squeaked slightly, and Eunhyuk felt rather then saw Donghae slide off the bed and walk towards him. “You’re really a girl. So am I.”
Eunhyuk rolled his eyes and tucked a strand his long hair behind his ears. “Donghae, stop being such a…” He trailed off as he realized something odd- long hair? Turning slowly, he looked behind him. There stood a girl with blonde hair and wide brown eyes; it was impossibly, yet unmistakably, Donghae. “Donghae?” Eunhyuk croaked.
The girl- no, Donghae- wiggled her fingers at him. “The one and only.”
Eunhyuk gaped, mouth flapping like a fish out of water. Once he regained control over his jaw, he dashed to the bathroom, frantically looking in the mirror. “Oh my god,” she breathed, eyes wide as she took in the image reflected back at her. “Oh my god, I’m a girl. I’m a fucking girl.”
Donghae poked her head into the bathroom. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re a really hot girl,” she supplied helpfully. Eunhyuk banged her head against the mirror.
-
“It must’ve been the bubble tea,” said Sungmin, putting her hands to her cheeks (because her face was much too pretty to slap) Home Alone style. “I knew I shouldn’t have drunk so much. Or maybe it was just the Chinese food in general. Kyu, why didn’t you warn me about this?”
“Because nothing like this happened the last couple of hundred times we ate Chinese food,” snapped Kyuhyun, on the verge of panic. She tangled her fingers into her long, curly brown hair, holding her head in despair. “Why is this happening?”
Sungmin tugged Kyuhyun’s hand away from her locks. “Don’t do that; you’ll mess up your hair and then the stylist unnies will get mad.”
“Noonas,” Kyuhyun shot back stubbornly.
“Unnies,” insisted Sungmin. “We’re girls now, so the proper honorific is now unnie.”
“I’m a boy,” cried Kyuhyun, looking near tears. “I’m a boy, damn it.”
Sungmin shrugged, pulling her hair into a perky ponytail and observing how it looked from different angles in the bedside mirror. “The sooner you accept what has happened, the happier you will be. Now, how do I look?”
“Cute,” Kyuhyun replied resignedly, scowling.
“Don’t pout like that,” admonished Sungmin, turning to pinch both of Kyuhyun’s cheeks. “You’ll look uglier than usual. If you really want to pout, do it properly.” Sungmin demonstrated, jutting her bottom lip out and opening her eyes wide. “Like this. Easy, right?”
“Hyung,” Kyuhyun started. “You-”
“Call me unnie,” Sungmin said easily, scooping up a brush on the table and running it through her hair.
Kyuhyun rolled her eyes. “Unnie, you-”
“Hey,” Sungmin interrupted, staring at Kyuhyun.
“What?” grumbled Kyuhyun, slightly miffed at being cut off for the second time.
“My boobs are bigger than yours,” observed Sungmin, reaching out to poke Kyuhyun’s boob.
Kyuhyun recoiled, eyes wide and arms curling protectively over her chest. “Hey, careful, they’re sensitive, okay? A girl’s boobs are like a guy’s dick.”
“And I touch your dick on a regular basis,” Sungmin shot back, reaching out again. “You seemed to enjoy it last night.” Despite Kyuhyun’s flailing, Sungmin was still stronger than Kyuhyun, and the older easily poked him into submission.
“I feel sad for you,” sighed Sungmin when she at last withdrew. “No chest to speak of, whatsoever. How would you seduce people?”
“I am not going to seduce people,” squawked Kyuhyun, turning red.
“Me, on the other hand…I can take over the world with this face and body,” mused Sungmin, making seductive faces at the mirror. “Both men and women alike will fall at my feet. I will have a loyal, hot, right-hand bitch who will dress in nothing but a loincloth and be my willing sex slave.” Sungmin paused in the middle of her monologue and gave Kyuhyun a meaningful look.
Kyuhyun’s eyes widened. “No, I refuse. I will not wear a loincloth.”
Sungmin’s lips curved up into a smirk. “Then you agree to the part of being my sex toy.”
“NO!” shouted Kyuhyun.
“Would you prefer I fuck someone else then?” asked Sungmin, eyes dancing mischievously.
Kyuhyun opened and closed her mouth. Finally, she set her lips into a thin line. “Fine,” she grumbled in defeat. “But no loincloth.”
“That’s my girl,” cooed Sungmin before adding, “What about a pointed bikini?”
-
Ryeowook looked the same.
-
Zhou Mi observed her reflection in the full length mirror, hands smoothing down the fabric of her fashionable hot pants. “Henli, Henli, what do you think?” Turning, she danced a small part of Gee. “Are my legs better than Sooyoung’s?”
Henry did not hear her as she was sitting desolately in the corner, bemoaning their current situation. As the younger’s face was buried in her hands, all Zhou Mi could make out was, “I’m never going back to Canada,” and, “Barely got over the fur hat thing and now this.”
“Why can’t you go back to Canada?” asked Zhou Mi, choosing to be a good jie jie and talking to Henry about her problems, because Henry clearly needed help.
Henry raised her head from her hands and stared up at Zhou Mi with adorable bloodshot eyes and snot running from her nose adorably (because Zhou Mi thought Henry was always adorable, no matter what). “My friends will laugh at me,” she sniffed, tears welling up.
Zhou Mi wibbled at the sight before her. Taking her vintage Tammis Keefe handkerchief from her pocket, she wiped Henry’s tear-streaked cheeks delicately. “There, there,” Zhou Mi said comfortingly, sympathizing. She felt considerably less sympathetic when Henry grabbed the handkerchief and noisily blew her nose.
“Thanks,” snuffled Henry, handing the snot-covered hanky back to Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi forced a smile and reminded herself that Henry was worth more than a vintage Tammis Keefe handkerchief, and there was a reason dry cleaning existed, and she could always buy another one (she had been eyeing the hippo design one for some time now), and by then, the forced smile was a sincere smile.
“Your friends will understand,” said Zhou Mi confidently to cheer the younger up.
It didn’t work.
“They already think I’m gay,” wailed Henry, a fresh round of tears coming up. “And now I’m a girl? I thought the response to our last concept was bad!”
“What did they say?” asked Zhou Mi curiously.
Henry looked at Zhou Mi, chin quivering. “They asked if I got my shirt at Eaton’s. And they asked how many Thumpers I killed for the hat.”
“No, they didn’t,” gasped Zhou Mi, scandalized. Henry nodded miserably. “Now listen here, Henli,” said Zhou Mi, putting on her best jie jie face. “You know what you’re doing here with us?”
“Becoming gayer every day?” Henry guessed.
“No,” Zhou Mi shook her head. “What you’re doing is being a pioneer in the fashion world! These are the latest, most innovative fashions out there, so wear it with pride! We look fabulous!” Zhou Mi then squished Henry against her chest affectionately.
“But I don’t want to look fabulous,” Henry mumbled into the valley between Zhou Mi’s torpedoes. “I just want to be a boy.”
Zhou Mi released Henry, smiling widely. “I’m so glad we had this talk, Henli. Now, I know just what you need.”
“A penis?” suggested Henry.
“Retail therapy!” cried Zhou Mi. “It’s the best cure for anything in the world! Now that we’re girls, a whole new world of fashion has opened up to us, and I have been dying to get my hands on anything Givenchy.”
-
The phone in the living room rang.
“Siwon,” called their frazzled manager, pausing in his frantic conversation on his cell phone (“Yes, they are all girls! No, I don’t think it was the bubble tea or any of the food they ate. Do you have a good reason to think it was the fur hats?”). “Can you get that?”
Siwon paused in the middle of her abs workout (girl or not, she still prized her body). Wiping off the sweat on her forehead, she answered the phone mid ring. “Hello?”
“Hello,” said a voice in English. “May I speak to Choi Siwon?”
Siwon’s eyebrows shot up. “Speaking,” she replied politely, thanking the Lord that she had brushed up on her English recently.
“Ah, Ms. Choi. This is Lori Greeley, the CEO of Victoria’s Secret,” said the voice, sounding delighted. “You have recently come to attention of my company. And I must say, you have a fabulous body, one to die for.”
“Ah, thank you very much.” Siwon automatically bowed her head a little.
“We’ve discussed this over, and we’ve decided that you have what it takes to become one of our models.”
Siwon’s eyes widened, and she waved her free hand in front of her frantically. “Me, a model? I’m not sure about that. You see, I would have to bring this up with my company-”
“Your company is not a problem,” Lori Greeley interrupted smoothly. “We’ve already spoken with Lee Soo Man and worked out an agreement. All that’s left would be your consent.”
“Oh.” Siwon thought through this carefully. If she went, she could further her career. But at the same time, she would be abandoning Super Junior, her friends and family for the past several years. “I’m sorry, but-”
“Think about it,” Lori Greeley interrupted once more. “We are coming to you and offering you the chance to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, the most coveted position in the modeling world. Your name could be up there with the greats like Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, Gisele Bundchen…”
Siwon had always wanted to be an angel. “Do I get to wear wings?” she asked, tone eager.
“Of course,” was the definite reply. “A halo too, if you want. We’ll also throw the Fantasy Bra into the deal.”
She had Siwon at ‘halo.’ “Alright,” Siwon agreed happily. She was going to be an angel!
-
“Don’t you think it’s sad that Siwon is leaving us for the modeling industry?” asked Donghae breathlessly. “I’ll miss her so much.”
“It’s such a tragedy,” Eunhyuk mumbled against Donghae’s neck, leaning forward to nibble her ear. As much as Eunhyuk thought of Siwon as her brother (or sister), the only thing she could bring herself to care about at the moment was the way Donghae’s body was moving, all soft and pliant beneath her touch.
“It’s like Kibum all over again,” Donghae continued, giggling a little as Eunhyuk ran her hand down the curves of her figure. “I feel like everyone is leaving. You won’t leave, will you, Hyuk?”
“Of course not, why would I do such a thing?” replied Eunhyuk absentmindedly, sliding her hand past and behind Donghae’s hips to shamelessly grope her butt.
Donghae’s body bucked upwards slightly at the squeeze. “What if you decide that you’d rather live and dance on the streets? You know, like in our Sorry Sorry- Answer video?”
Eunhyuk placed a trail of wet kisses along Donghae’s jawline as her hand slowly stroked up and down the younger’s smooth thighs. “If I lived on the streets, I’d be a hobo,” Eunhyuk said distractedly as Donghae’s slender legs moved to wrap around her waist. “I don’t want to be a hobo. And you were living and dancing on the streets in the video too, so in the case that I do become a hobo, which I won’t, you’ll be there with me, and we will be living and dancing and hobo-ing together, so I really don’t see what the problem is.”
Donghae blinked. “That’s true,” she acknowledged. “But what if-”
Eunhyuk groaned, pulling back in exasperation. “Donghae, I’m really horny right now, and I’m sure you are too, so can we stop talking about irrelevant things and get on with the fucking?”
“Oh.” Donghae tilted her head and smiled prettily up at Eunhyuk, eyes glittering naughtily. “It’s just that you fuck better when you’re frustrated.”
Eunhyuk stared at Donghae for a moment before a smirk started forming. “You devious little mastermind,” she laughed before leaning down to capture Donghae’s lips for a passionate kiss. Biting Donghae’s bottom lip slightly, she slipped her tongue into Donghae’s mouth. As their tongues battled for dominance, Eunhyuk’s hand glided downwards, slipping into Donghae’s pants. Just as Eunhyuk was about to enter the Chamber of Secrets (because girl!Donghae’s body was not the same as guy!Donghae’s, and therefore was a mystery to Eunhyuk), Donghae abruptly sat up, nearly smashing Eunhyuk’s nose with her forehead.
“Wait,” Donghae gasped.
“What is it now?” asked Eunhyuk, annoyed at the interruption.
“How are we going to do this?” questioned Donghae, frowning at Eunhyuk.
Eunhyuk gave Donghae an odd look. “What do you mean? The same way we always do it.”
Donghae shook her head. “What I mean is, how are we going to do this? It’s like having two outlets and no plugs.”
Eunhyuk blinked at her lover. Damn, Donghae had a point. Reluctantly, Eunhyuk pulled her hand out of Donghae’s pants and sat back to contemplate their dilemma.
After a moment of silence, Donghae spoke up. “How about we watch lesbian porn?” she suggested. “You know, for reference.”
“For reference,” Eunhyuk agreed. “I’ll go get my laptop.”
-
“Hello?”
“I’m a girl. Why the fuck am I a girl?”
“Why, hello to you too, handsome. Or should I say, beautiful.”
“Shut up and tell me why I’m a girl.”
“How am I supposed to know?”
“Whenever anything goes wrong, it’s your fault.”
“Hey, not that one time with the egg in the microwave. That was all Eunhyuk.”
“Well, Eunhyuk belongs to Donghae, who is your favorite dongsaeng, so in the end, it’s still your fault.”
“You’re not making any sense,” snorted Heechul. “I think your Korean has gotten worse. Caaaaan youuuu understaaaand meee?”
“There is no sense in this situation!” cried Hangeng’s accented voice over the phone, an octave higher than usual. “S-stop making fun of me!” Heechul sniggered as Hangeng stumbled over the words, clearly flustered by Heechul’s teasing.
“Look, all I know is that this morning, we received a call saying all of Super Junior M turned into girls,” relayed Heechul, lazily flicking a strand of hair from his face. “And I’ve been watching Jungsu run around like a headless chicken all day, so you can’t say I did anything.”
“But I’m not even officially part of Super Junior anymore,” Hangeng howled.
Heechul raised an eyebrow. “You will always be part of Super Junior, even if not in body, in mind and spirit,” he insisted vehemently.
Heechul could almost see Hangeng flailing. “Heechul, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, I’d really rather not be a girl.”
“Nothing I can do about that,” grunted Heechul, sticking his legs out and crossing them. An idea then crossed his mind. “Hey, do you realize what this means?”
“That I’m a girl?” Hangeng’s voice crackled through the line.
Heechul nodded slowly. “You’re a girl. My penis is still intact. So that means next time we meet, I top.”
There was a pregnant pause. “Fuck you,” was Hangeng’s eloquent reply.
A smug smile formed on Heechul’s lips. “Love you too.”
-
A/N: Written a looong time ago during the Perfection promotions at 1-3 AM, if that explains any of this madness.
Characters: Super Junior M
Pairings: HyukHae, MinKyu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: crack
Disclaimer: I wish
Warnings: gender switch, mentions of sex, language
Summary: Super Junior M wakes up one morning as girls. Some take it badly. Most take it too well.
The digital clock on the bedside table read 5:45 AM. Eunhyuk leaned over to turn the alarm off before it could start blaring. Turning his bleary gaze towards the human-shaped lump next to him (Donghae always hogged the blankets, but Eunhyuk didn’t have the heart to tell him off because, damn it, Donghae looked too cute in his blanket cocoon), Eunhyuk nudged Donghae with his foot.
“Hae, wake up. We have early schedules today.”
Without waiting for a response, Eunhyuk started looking for his boxers, which were no doubt thrown off into some corner due to their haste the previous night. There was a loud yawn behind him, accompanied by the rustling of blankets, and Eunhyuk knew that Donghae was awake.
“Do you see my boxers? I can’t-”
“Uh, Hyuk?” Donghae cut in abruptly. “You’re kind of a girl.”
Eunhyuk took great offense to the comment, because exactly who was it pounding who into the mattress last night? Yeah, that’s what he thought. “Stop spouting nonsense,” replied Eunhyuk, leaning down to pick up Donghae’s shirt and throwing it backwards in the younger’s general direction.
“I mean it, Eunhyuk.” The mattress springs squeaked slightly, and Eunhyuk felt rather then saw Donghae slide off the bed and walk towards him. “You’re really a girl. So am I.”
Eunhyuk rolled his eyes and tucked a strand his long hair behind his ears. “Donghae, stop being such a…” He trailed off as he realized something odd- long hair? Turning slowly, he looked behind him. There stood a girl with blonde hair and wide brown eyes; it was impossibly, yet unmistakably, Donghae. “Donghae?” Eunhyuk croaked.
The girl- no, Donghae- wiggled her fingers at him. “The one and only.”
Eunhyuk gaped, mouth flapping like a fish out of water. Once he regained control over his jaw, he dashed to the bathroom, frantically looking in the mirror. “Oh my god,” she breathed, eyes wide as she took in the image reflected back at her. “Oh my god, I’m a girl. I’m a fucking girl.”
Donghae poked her head into the bathroom. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re a really hot girl,” she supplied helpfully. Eunhyuk banged her head against the mirror.
-
“It must’ve been the bubble tea,” said Sungmin, putting her hands to her cheeks (because her face was much too pretty to slap) Home Alone style. “I knew I shouldn’t have drunk so much. Or maybe it was just the Chinese food in general. Kyu, why didn’t you warn me about this?”
“Because nothing like this happened the last couple of hundred times we ate Chinese food,” snapped Kyuhyun, on the verge of panic. She tangled her fingers into her long, curly brown hair, holding her head in despair. “Why is this happening?”
Sungmin tugged Kyuhyun’s hand away from her locks. “Don’t do that; you’ll mess up your hair and then the stylist unnies will get mad.”
“Noonas,” Kyuhyun shot back stubbornly.
“Unnies,” insisted Sungmin. “We’re girls now, so the proper honorific is now unnie.”
“I’m a boy,” cried Kyuhyun, looking near tears. “I’m a boy, damn it.”
Sungmin shrugged, pulling her hair into a perky ponytail and observing how it looked from different angles in the bedside mirror. “The sooner you accept what has happened, the happier you will be. Now, how do I look?”
“Cute,” Kyuhyun replied resignedly, scowling.
“Don’t pout like that,” admonished Sungmin, turning to pinch both of Kyuhyun’s cheeks. “You’ll look uglier than usual. If you really want to pout, do it properly.” Sungmin demonstrated, jutting her bottom lip out and opening her eyes wide. “Like this. Easy, right?”
“Hyung,” Kyuhyun started. “You-”
“Call me unnie,” Sungmin said easily, scooping up a brush on the table and running it through her hair.
Kyuhyun rolled her eyes. “Unnie, you-”
“Hey,” Sungmin interrupted, staring at Kyuhyun.
“What?” grumbled Kyuhyun, slightly miffed at being cut off for the second time.
“My boobs are bigger than yours,” observed Sungmin, reaching out to poke Kyuhyun’s boob.
Kyuhyun recoiled, eyes wide and arms curling protectively over her chest. “Hey, careful, they’re sensitive, okay? A girl’s boobs are like a guy’s dick.”
“And I touch your dick on a regular basis,” Sungmin shot back, reaching out again. “You seemed to enjoy it last night.” Despite Kyuhyun’s flailing, Sungmin was still stronger than Kyuhyun, and the older easily poked him into submission.
“I feel sad for you,” sighed Sungmin when she at last withdrew. “No chest to speak of, whatsoever. How would you seduce people?”
“I am not going to seduce people,” squawked Kyuhyun, turning red.
“Me, on the other hand…I can take over the world with this face and body,” mused Sungmin, making seductive faces at the mirror. “Both men and women alike will fall at my feet. I will have a loyal, hot, right-hand bitch who will dress in nothing but a loincloth and be my willing sex slave.” Sungmin paused in the middle of her monologue and gave Kyuhyun a meaningful look.
Kyuhyun’s eyes widened. “No, I refuse. I will not wear a loincloth.”
Sungmin’s lips curved up into a smirk. “Then you agree to the part of being my sex toy.”
“NO!” shouted Kyuhyun.
“Would you prefer I fuck someone else then?” asked Sungmin, eyes dancing mischievously.
Kyuhyun opened and closed her mouth. Finally, she set her lips into a thin line. “Fine,” she grumbled in defeat. “But no loincloth.”
“That’s my girl,” cooed Sungmin before adding, “What about a pointed bikini?”
-
Ryeowook looked the same.
-
Zhou Mi observed her reflection in the full length mirror, hands smoothing down the fabric of her fashionable hot pants. “Henli, Henli, what do you think?” Turning, she danced a small part of Gee. “Are my legs better than Sooyoung’s?”
Henry did not hear her as she was sitting desolately in the corner, bemoaning their current situation. As the younger’s face was buried in her hands, all Zhou Mi could make out was, “I’m never going back to Canada,” and, “Barely got over the fur hat thing and now this.”
“Why can’t you go back to Canada?” asked Zhou Mi, choosing to be a good jie jie and talking to Henry about her problems, because Henry clearly needed help.
Henry raised her head from her hands and stared up at Zhou Mi with adorable bloodshot eyes and snot running from her nose adorably (because Zhou Mi thought Henry was always adorable, no matter what). “My friends will laugh at me,” she sniffed, tears welling up.
Zhou Mi wibbled at the sight before her. Taking her vintage Tammis Keefe handkerchief from her pocket, she wiped Henry’s tear-streaked cheeks delicately. “There, there,” Zhou Mi said comfortingly, sympathizing. She felt considerably less sympathetic when Henry grabbed the handkerchief and noisily blew her nose.
“Thanks,” snuffled Henry, handing the snot-covered hanky back to Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi forced a smile and reminded herself that Henry was worth more than a vintage Tammis Keefe handkerchief, and there was a reason dry cleaning existed, and she could always buy another one (she had been eyeing the hippo design one for some time now), and by then, the forced smile was a sincere smile.
“Your friends will understand,” said Zhou Mi confidently to cheer the younger up.
It didn’t work.
“They already think I’m gay,” wailed Henry, a fresh round of tears coming up. “And now I’m a girl? I thought the response to our last concept was bad!”
“What did they say?” asked Zhou Mi curiously.
Henry looked at Zhou Mi, chin quivering. “They asked if I got my shirt at Eaton’s. And they asked how many Thumpers I killed for the hat.”
“No, they didn’t,” gasped Zhou Mi, scandalized. Henry nodded miserably. “Now listen here, Henli,” said Zhou Mi, putting on her best jie jie face. “You know what you’re doing here with us?”
“Becoming gayer every day?” Henry guessed.
“No,” Zhou Mi shook her head. “What you’re doing is being a pioneer in the fashion world! These are the latest, most innovative fashions out there, so wear it with pride! We look fabulous!” Zhou Mi then squished Henry against her chest affectionately.
“But I don’t want to look fabulous,” Henry mumbled into the valley between Zhou Mi’s torpedoes. “I just want to be a boy.”
Zhou Mi released Henry, smiling widely. “I’m so glad we had this talk, Henli. Now, I know just what you need.”
“A penis?” suggested Henry.
“Retail therapy!” cried Zhou Mi. “It’s the best cure for anything in the world! Now that we’re girls, a whole new world of fashion has opened up to us, and I have been dying to get my hands on anything Givenchy.”
-
The phone in the living room rang.
“Siwon,” called their frazzled manager, pausing in his frantic conversation on his cell phone (“Yes, they are all girls! No, I don’t think it was the bubble tea or any of the food they ate. Do you have a good reason to think it was the fur hats?”). “Can you get that?”
Siwon paused in the middle of her abs workout (girl or not, she still prized her body). Wiping off the sweat on her forehead, she answered the phone mid ring. “Hello?”
“Hello,” said a voice in English. “May I speak to Choi Siwon?”
Siwon’s eyebrows shot up. “Speaking,” she replied politely, thanking the Lord that she had brushed up on her English recently.
“Ah, Ms. Choi. This is Lori Greeley, the CEO of Victoria’s Secret,” said the voice, sounding delighted. “You have recently come to attention of my company. And I must say, you have a fabulous body, one to die for.”
“Ah, thank you very much.” Siwon automatically bowed her head a little.
“We’ve discussed this over, and we’ve decided that you have what it takes to become one of our models.”
Siwon’s eyes widened, and she waved her free hand in front of her frantically. “Me, a model? I’m not sure about that. You see, I would have to bring this up with my company-”
“Your company is not a problem,” Lori Greeley interrupted smoothly. “We’ve already spoken with Lee Soo Man and worked out an agreement. All that’s left would be your consent.”
“Oh.” Siwon thought through this carefully. If she went, she could further her career. But at the same time, she would be abandoning Super Junior, her friends and family for the past several years. “I’m sorry, but-”
“Think about it,” Lori Greeley interrupted once more. “We are coming to you and offering you the chance to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, the most coveted position in the modeling world. Your name could be up there with the greats like Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, Gisele Bundchen…”
Siwon had always wanted to be an angel. “Do I get to wear wings?” she asked, tone eager.
“Of course,” was the definite reply. “A halo too, if you want. We’ll also throw the Fantasy Bra into the deal.”
She had Siwon at ‘halo.’ “Alright,” Siwon agreed happily. She was going to be an angel!
-
“Don’t you think it’s sad that Siwon is leaving us for the modeling industry?” asked Donghae breathlessly. “I’ll miss her so much.”
“It’s such a tragedy,” Eunhyuk mumbled against Donghae’s neck, leaning forward to nibble her ear. As much as Eunhyuk thought of Siwon as her brother (or sister), the only thing she could bring herself to care about at the moment was the way Donghae’s body was moving, all soft and pliant beneath her touch.
“It’s like Kibum all over again,” Donghae continued, giggling a little as Eunhyuk ran her hand down the curves of her figure. “I feel like everyone is leaving. You won’t leave, will you, Hyuk?”
“Of course not, why would I do such a thing?” replied Eunhyuk absentmindedly, sliding her hand past and behind Donghae’s hips to shamelessly grope her butt.
Donghae’s body bucked upwards slightly at the squeeze. “What if you decide that you’d rather live and dance on the streets? You know, like in our Sorry Sorry- Answer video?”
Eunhyuk placed a trail of wet kisses along Donghae’s jawline as her hand slowly stroked up and down the younger’s smooth thighs. “If I lived on the streets, I’d be a hobo,” Eunhyuk said distractedly as Donghae’s slender legs moved to wrap around her waist. “I don’t want to be a hobo. And you were living and dancing on the streets in the video too, so in the case that I do become a hobo, which I won’t, you’ll be there with me, and we will be living and dancing and hobo-ing together, so I really don’t see what the problem is.”
Donghae blinked. “That’s true,” she acknowledged. “But what if-”
Eunhyuk groaned, pulling back in exasperation. “Donghae, I’m really horny right now, and I’m sure you are too, so can we stop talking about irrelevant things and get on with the fucking?”
“Oh.” Donghae tilted her head and smiled prettily up at Eunhyuk, eyes glittering naughtily. “It’s just that you fuck better when you’re frustrated.”
Eunhyuk stared at Donghae for a moment before a smirk started forming. “You devious little mastermind,” she laughed before leaning down to capture Donghae’s lips for a passionate kiss. Biting Donghae’s bottom lip slightly, she slipped her tongue into Donghae’s mouth. As their tongues battled for dominance, Eunhyuk’s hand glided downwards, slipping into Donghae’s pants. Just as Eunhyuk was about to enter the Chamber of Secrets (because girl!Donghae’s body was not the same as guy!Donghae’s, and therefore was a mystery to Eunhyuk), Donghae abruptly sat up, nearly smashing Eunhyuk’s nose with her forehead.
“Wait,” Donghae gasped.
“What is it now?” asked Eunhyuk, annoyed at the interruption.
“How are we going to do this?” questioned Donghae, frowning at Eunhyuk.
Eunhyuk gave Donghae an odd look. “What do you mean? The same way we always do it.”
Donghae shook her head. “What I mean is, how are we going to do this? It’s like having two outlets and no plugs.”
Eunhyuk blinked at her lover. Damn, Donghae had a point. Reluctantly, Eunhyuk pulled her hand out of Donghae’s pants and sat back to contemplate their dilemma.
After a moment of silence, Donghae spoke up. “How about we watch lesbian porn?” she suggested. “You know, for reference.”
“For reference,” Eunhyuk agreed. “I’ll go get my laptop.”
-
“Hello?”
“I’m a girl. Why the fuck am I a girl?”
“Why, hello to you too, handsome. Or should I say, beautiful.”
“Shut up and tell me why I’m a girl.”
“How am I supposed to know?”
“Whenever anything goes wrong, it’s your fault.”
“Hey, not that one time with the egg in the microwave. That was all Eunhyuk.”
“Well, Eunhyuk belongs to Donghae, who is your favorite dongsaeng, so in the end, it’s still your fault.”
“You’re not making any sense,” snorted Heechul. “I think your Korean has gotten worse. Caaaaan youuuu understaaaand meee?”
“There is no sense in this situation!” cried Hangeng’s accented voice over the phone, an octave higher than usual. “S-stop making fun of me!” Heechul sniggered as Hangeng stumbled over the words, clearly flustered by Heechul’s teasing.
“Look, all I know is that this morning, we received a call saying all of Super Junior M turned into girls,” relayed Heechul, lazily flicking a strand of hair from his face. “And I’ve been watching Jungsu run around like a headless chicken all day, so you can’t say I did anything.”
“But I’m not even officially part of Super Junior anymore,” Hangeng howled.
Heechul raised an eyebrow. “You will always be part of Super Junior, even if not in body, in mind and spirit,” he insisted vehemently.
Heechul could almost see Hangeng flailing. “Heechul, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, I’d really rather not be a girl.”
“Nothing I can do about that,” grunted Heechul, sticking his legs out and crossing them. An idea then crossed his mind. “Hey, do you realize what this means?”
“That I’m a girl?” Hangeng’s voice crackled through the line.
Heechul nodded slowly. “You’re a girl. My penis is still intact. So that means next time we meet, I top.”
There was a pregnant pause. “Fuck you,” was Hangeng’s eloquent reply.
A smug smile formed on Heechul’s lips. “Love you too.”
-
A/N: Written a looong time ago during the Perfection promotions at 1-3 AM, if that explains any of this madness.