i hate life
(so i had to start this whole post over again after doing it once because by some horrible miracle it all got erased T___T)
i just had the worst day of my entire life. i had my two hardest finals today, physio and Spanish/ so i studied all last night to prepare (not like me i know). and i got up early to have a good breakfast before i go. i wake up at 5 which is an unholy hour to wake up on any day. i go to the kitchen to make breakfast and we have nothing. no eggs, no meat, no orange juice, no oatmeal, nothing! so i have cereal. fine whatever i'll live.
i get in the shower and im not in there for more than 4 minutes and not only does the hot water run out, but there's no water pressure either. so i have to take a shower under a cold trickle of water. it turns out that my sister had to wash her clothes and they just couldn't be washed in cold water. urgggggg
i get ready and i start walking to school (truck's not working of course) and guess what, it starts raining. *face palm* you have to be kidding me! all this in one morning!?
i get to school with a less than happy disposition. i get to my first final, Physio. i have my notes all ready to go and i studied my little heart out and i felt like i was ready. the test is handed to me and.........i have no clue!!! it might as well had been in another language. i got rapped so bad...oh so bad...like anal status.
by this point i a have a personal cloud of anger, sadness, and pure hate over my head. and i just don't give a shit./ i get to my Spanish test and i only try for like 30 minutes and then i start to just guess. i leave the class feeling like super shit.
now i had to go to theater until from 12:30 to 4. URGGGGGGGGGGGKFLKDHF;LKAHDF;KHADLFKHA;LKDSFH;LAKDSNF;LKAN SDFAJ VB'!!!!!!!!
im about to kill the first person i see. im gonna rape their mom and eat their children. im not happy to say the least. so im sitting in theater and i deiced i need to go out to get something to eat because cereal not enough for me. (friend has a car) on my way out i have to go down the techie hallway (a hallway infested with techies that connects the theater with the outside world.)
this one girl, no not just any girl, the girl im in love with. madly and utterly comes up to talk to me and..... she said "Jacob?" and...and... i answered "WHAT!?"
and she just kinda left me alone. it wasn't till later that i realized what i had just done. T_______T
f-list you don't know about this girl but you should. because i love her. i mean i've liked girls before but not like this. she's all i think about. day and night. it's ridiculous!! i get this feeling in my chest whenever she's around. i can't even explain it! i mean for Christ's sake, i wrote poetry for her. no other fucking human being can do that!!!
I am so in love.
I am so in love with you...
I have missed you every night since.
I don't know why. It's not important.
I can't sleep... I can't stop thinking about you.
I can't stop thinking about how sweet life will be with you in it.
You were the only one who have affected my pride.
You are the only one who is able to affect my emotions so deeply.
I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about you.
I miss you so much already. It is silly, I know...but I really do.
I just wish that you could be beside me. Smiling, talking, or just staring...I don't care.
I just want you beside me.
But I know that is wrong. I know that isn't enough to give you happiness.
I do not deserve you. It's the truth.
I don't deserve to even glance at such a cute smile. I don't deserve to be in such a beauty's presence.
I just don't deserve to be with you.
I will try my best for you. But it does not matter.
Because you would discover and you should be with someone so much better.
I love you so much. I can't describe how deep it is.
And that is why I won't be with you.
All I'll do is to dream of you...
Wish that you...
you are here...
but by fate's cruel hand, she cares not for me. that's not a joke. i can't imagine she would ever even care for me. so with this i am terribly despaired and depressed.
i just had the worst day of my entire life. i had my two hardest finals today, physio and Spanish/ so i studied all last night to prepare (not like me i know). and i got up early to have a good breakfast before i go. i wake up at 5 which is an unholy hour to wake up on any day. i go to the kitchen to make breakfast and we have nothing. no eggs, no meat, no orange juice, no oatmeal, nothing! so i have cereal. fine whatever i'll live.
i get in the shower and im not in there for more than 4 minutes and not only does the hot water run out, but there's no water pressure either. so i have to take a shower under a cold trickle of water. it turns out that my sister had to wash her clothes and they just couldn't be washed in cold water. urgggggg
i get ready and i start walking to school (truck's not working of course) and guess what, it starts raining. *face palm* you have to be kidding me! all this in one morning!?
i get to school with a less than happy disposition. i get to my first final, Physio. i have my notes all ready to go and i studied my little heart out and i felt like i was ready. the test is handed to me and.........i have no clue!!! it might as well had been in another language. i got rapped so bad...oh so bad...like anal status.
by this point i a have a personal cloud of anger, sadness, and pure hate over my head. and i just don't give a shit./ i get to my Spanish test and i only try for like 30 minutes and then i start to just guess. i leave the class feeling like super shit.
now i had to go to theater until from 12:30 to 4. URGGGGGGGGGGGKFLKDHF;LKAHDF;KHADLFKHA;LKDSFH;LAKDSNF;LKAN SDFAJ VB'!!!!!!!!
im about to kill the first person i see. im gonna rape their mom and eat their children. im not happy to say the least. so im sitting in theater and i deiced i need to go out to get something to eat because cereal not enough for me. (friend has a car) on my way out i have to go down the techie hallway (a hallway infested with techies that connects the theater with the outside world.)
this one girl, no not just any girl, the girl im in love with. madly and utterly comes up to talk to me and..... she said "Jacob?" and...and... i answered "WHAT!?"
and she just kinda left me alone. it wasn't till later that i realized what i had just done. T_______T
f-list you don't know about this girl but you should. because i love her. i mean i've liked girls before but not like this. she's all i think about. day and night. it's ridiculous!! i get this feeling in my chest whenever she's around. i can't even explain it! i mean for Christ's sake, i wrote poetry for her. no other fucking human being can do that!!!
I am so in love.
I am so in love with you...
I have missed you every night since.
I don't know why. It's not important.
I can't sleep... I can't stop thinking about you.
I can't stop thinking about how sweet life will be with you in it.
You were the only one who have affected my pride.
You are the only one who is able to affect my emotions so deeply.
I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about you.
I miss you so much already. It is silly, I know...but I really do.
I just wish that you could be beside me. Smiling, talking, or just staring...I don't care.
I just want you beside me.
But I know that is wrong. I know that isn't enough to give you happiness.
I do not deserve you. It's the truth.
I don't deserve to even glance at such a cute smile. I don't deserve to be in such a beauty's presence.
I just don't deserve to be with you.
I will try my best for you. But it does not matter.
Because you would discover and you should be with someone so much better.
I love you so much. I can't describe how deep it is.
And that is why I won't be with you.
All I'll do is to dream of you...
Wish that you...
you are here...
but by fate's cruel hand, she cares not for me. that's not a joke. i can't imagine she would ever even care for me. so with this i am terribly despaired and depressed.