Pinch Me
Well I bet you all were expecting to hear about how we're in sunny California, kicking back and sipping Corona by the beach.
But we barely made it out the door. Hell, we almost didn't make it at all...and by that I mean we almost died! Things didn't turn out too bad though...
...Wait. Let me start from the beginning:
OK, so 21 and I had the ( Read more... )
Well that was a mental picture I could have done without.
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Just... don't do the mattress mambo on my bed for a thrill or something. I CAN TELL. DON'T THINK I CAN'T.
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Could you do me a personal favor and lock shit like that? Because now 21's going to read that and get ideas...
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OH HE BETTER NOT. So help me I WILL booby trap your ass.
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Part of me wants to do it just to piss you off, the other half of me would be totally grossed out by it. What a conundrum!
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Heaven hath no fury like a thief whose bed smells like nerd sweat.
... and why would you be grossed out? PEOPLE... SOMEWHERE... probably... pay to sleep in beds I've slept in!
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I'm KIDDING! Do you realize how much trouble I am with the Monarch right now?!I can't afford to get myself in even deeper shit.
...And are these people you speak of homeless? Because bums will scrap up change to sleep in ANY bed. Even yours.
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Oh yeah, you're pretty much dead. He's so mad he's making up new curse words just for the occasion. He's fuckdamn mad.
I happen to be an international celebrity, thank you very much.
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Yeah, trust me, I know. He basically just told me I have two hours to live. I'd like to say "it was nice knowing ya," but...
Whatever dude. Just keep in mind that being a celebrity doesn't make one hygienic.
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