[for Lennox]
Miguel doesn't know why he keeps coming back here, when the stream running away from it passes so much closer to the hut, and the other waterfall is marginally closer.
The other waterfall doesn't remind him of Shane, though, of night swimming and gentle ribbing, harsher splashing--harmless things. Or just getting his feet wet, smoking in the quiet and trying to fathom the man who lives nearby. The big waterfall just makes him think of Jenny, and his meds--the crash of water evoking more than memory, but giving reference to the sensation of being so out of it, so helpless to every little feeling, every interaction and irritation.
Maybe he just wants the peace, once in awhile. Solitude without confinement.
Maybe he wants Jim to find him again, this time without the animals in tow, so he can feel like tinfoil in a microwave, collapsing and opening and throwing sparks, without having to go back to his hut, without knocking on his door.
What he does know is that he wants a swim, now that he doesn't have the cat to chase from the water's edge, the rabbit to sooth. Shirt and sneakers left on the shore, he slides into the water, the cold shocking against his skin, exciting enough if he spends another afternoon on his own.
The other waterfall doesn't remind him of Shane, though, of night swimming and gentle ribbing, harsher splashing--harmless things. Or just getting his feet wet, smoking in the quiet and trying to fathom the man who lives nearby. The big waterfall just makes him think of Jenny, and his meds--the crash of water evoking more than memory, but giving reference to the sensation of being so out of it, so helpless to every little feeling, every interaction and irritation.
Maybe he just wants the peace, once in awhile. Solitude without confinement.
Maybe he wants Jim to find him again, this time without the animals in tow, so he can feel like tinfoil in a microwave, collapsing and opening and throwing sparks, without having to go back to his hut, without knocking on his door.
What he does know is that he wants a swim, now that he doesn't have the cat to chase from the water's edge, the rabbit to sooth. Shirt and sneakers left on the shore, he slides into the water, the cold shocking against his skin, exciting enough if he spends another afternoon on his own.