Build higher walls around me. Change every lock and key. My heart's far, far away. Home and free.
I visited Kutztown on Monday...it went really well. They have a beautiful campus down there. They also have a very good art education program...but the idea of college depresses me. I'm not ready. I'm just not. I have no idea what I want to do with my life...in fact I'm downright confused about a lot of things. I don't know what I want my career to be...I don't even know if I want to do art for the rest of my life. Sure I'm good at it, but I HATE doing it sometimes. I can't imagine having to do it all the time, every day. I'd be miserable. Maybe not, but I don't know.
As for going away, I don't know if I can. I really don't think I can leave everybody. My heart breaks even thinking about it. I don't know how I could function if I didn't have these caring people in my life. I've never been away from my home for more than a couple of days and I can't even fathom what life would be like having to stay away for several months with nothing to do but sit around in a tiny dorm and go to class. I really don't want to go into this miserable, but I don't think I can do it. All I want is to be 14 years old starting high school again. I can't believe that I only have a year left...wow I hate myself right now.
As for going away, I don't know if I can. I really don't think I can leave everybody. My heart breaks even thinking about it. I don't know how I could function if I didn't have these caring people in my life. I've never been away from my home for more than a couple of days and I can't even fathom what life would be like having to stay away for several months with nothing to do but sit around in a tiny dorm and go to class. I really don't want to go into this miserable, but I don't think I can do it. All I want is to be 14 years old starting high school again. I can't believe that I only have a year left...wow I hate myself right now.