Make Change for a World that Needs Some...
It's a Monday, near end of the work day, and I have nothing better to do really so why not update, ay?
Went to Pritchard's Island this weekend to see some turtles. Didn't see any but I did see some terrible people who reminded me of my old roommates, the really bad ones. K. is pretty much one of the coolest people alive and def. not deserving of such treatment. But that's the way it always goes, the good people get constantly screwed over and the evil bad people continue being evil and bad and nothing happens to them. They'll get theirs eventually though.
So, I'm bouncing back from a couple recent personal/social failures. Life was so much easier when I didn't care about.. things. No jealousy, no anger, no sadness.... life was just plain and good. But now it's craziness. In a good sort of way I suppose but I'm still not a big fan of the crazy. I just wish for once things could work out in some manner and everything could settle down again and I could focus on work... instead of letting my mind constantly wander to other things.
One lesson learned though: rejection is never easy.
It's one thing to be able to blame an unsuccessful fling on some mild shortcoming of the environment like, I forgot to put eyeliner on that day or I shouldn't have made that stupid joke or even better to blame the whole debauchery on "they just weren't ready for anything." It's a whole different ballgame when you have to look at it and realize they just didn't want you. They were ready and your eyeliner was great and your joke hysterical, but they still didn't want you. You are not what their thoughts drift to during the day, you are not what they wrote blog entries about... you are nothing to them. Well, maybe not nothing, but certainly not the thing. Someone else is.
Someone is better than you.
It doesn't matter if in your mind this person is less attractive, whiney, selfish and all together lame b/c it's in your mind. In theirs, this person is exactly what they want. And you can try to mold yourself into this model of what they want but you'll only be cheating yourself in the end b/c it will never be you they love, it will be this fake you that is actually someone else.
Maybe it'll all be ok in the end and there really is someone for everyone and all that other advice people give you in these sorts of situations (me included). Who knows. I'm still far too young to be terribly concerned with finding the one and all that overrated jazz, but just like any other competition, it would still be nice to win one. If I wasn't so competitive this may be easier and I could just let it roll off easier but I like being 1st, the best. And unfortunately for me, there is no way to study and practice for this kind of battle. There's no practice tests or training schedule to follow. There's just is or is not.
We'll see... I'll keep you posted on my record. Maybe I'll make it to the post season as a wild card...
" So please be honest
What's it mean
Now what have you done
Can't it just be another risk you're running tonight
It's simple soaked and always on my mind..."
~Straylight Run
Went to Pritchard's Island this weekend to see some turtles. Didn't see any but I did see some terrible people who reminded me of my old roommates, the really bad ones. K. is pretty much one of the coolest people alive and def. not deserving of such treatment. But that's the way it always goes, the good people get constantly screwed over and the evil bad people continue being evil and bad and nothing happens to them. They'll get theirs eventually though.
So, I'm bouncing back from a couple recent personal/social failures. Life was so much easier when I didn't care about.. things. No jealousy, no anger, no sadness.... life was just plain and good. But now it's craziness. In a good sort of way I suppose but I'm still not a big fan of the crazy. I just wish for once things could work out in some manner and everything could settle down again and I could focus on work... instead of letting my mind constantly wander to other things.
One lesson learned though: rejection is never easy.
It's one thing to be able to blame an unsuccessful fling on some mild shortcoming of the environment like, I forgot to put eyeliner on that day or I shouldn't have made that stupid joke or even better to blame the whole debauchery on "they just weren't ready for anything." It's a whole different ballgame when you have to look at it and realize they just didn't want you. They were ready and your eyeliner was great and your joke hysterical, but they still didn't want you. You are not what their thoughts drift to during the day, you are not what they wrote blog entries about... you are nothing to them. Well, maybe not nothing, but certainly not the thing. Someone else is.
Someone is better than you.
It doesn't matter if in your mind this person is less attractive, whiney, selfish and all together lame b/c it's in your mind. In theirs, this person is exactly what they want. And you can try to mold yourself into this model of what they want but you'll only be cheating yourself in the end b/c it will never be you they love, it will be this fake you that is actually someone else.
Maybe it'll all be ok in the end and there really is someone for everyone and all that other advice people give you in these sorts of situations (me included). Who knows. I'm still far too young to be terribly concerned with finding the one and all that overrated jazz, but just like any other competition, it would still be nice to win one. If I wasn't so competitive this may be easier and I could just let it roll off easier but I like being 1st, the best. And unfortunately for me, there is no way to study and practice for this kind of battle. There's no practice tests or training schedule to follow. There's just is or is not.
We'll see... I'll keep you posted on my record. Maybe I'll make it to the post season as a wild card...
" So please be honest
What's it mean
Now what have you done
Can't it just be another risk you're running tonight
It's simple soaked and always on my mind..."
~Straylight Run