When is a Train Ride Knott Berry Fun?
When is a Train Ride Knott Berry Fun?
By Jelsemium
For Numb3rs Write Off Challenge #14 - Megan!
Team: Schmoop
Prompt: Train
Numb3rs Grid: 1 Day Off, 4,533 Feet of Torture, 14 Drops and 3.14 Gravities
This was written for the Schmoop Vs. Angst Challenge over at Numb3rsWriteoff
Please head to the polls and rate this story based on Schmoopiness, Meganinity and Trains
Schmoopy Train Poll
Megan was grimly tapping away at her report, although she had been reduced to hunting and pecking instead of her usual quick fingered input. Her head hurt. Her back hurt. Her ears were still ringing from all the shooting at the bank... Gads, she was so tired of bank robbers/hostage takers/gang bangers. Maybe she SHOULD have chucked it all and retired. Maybe go back east to mend fences with her family... Get that PhD...
She sighed. What she really wanted right now was a cup full of Vicodin and a back rub.
A slight cough caught her attention and a familiar figure in a wildly colored Hawaiian shirt laid a sheet of paper on her desk. Oh... speaking of back rubs...
"Hello, Larry," Megan smiled.
"Good morning, Megan," Larry said seriously.
Megan glanced at the clock on her computer screen, it was almost 1 AM. "Wow, what are you doing here so late?" she asked.
"Waiting for you," Larry said quietly. He nodded at the paper he had just laid on her desk. "I require your signature on that paper."
"Oh!" Megan looked down. And here she thought that Larry had come to rescue her from back aches. When she focused on the paper she realized that Larry had much more in mind than a simple back rub. "That's a time off form?" she asked. "I didn't fill in a time off form?" She looked around.
Colby and David carefully avoided her eyes.
Megan looked at the paper again. Then she looked at the clock/calendar on her computer. "I can't take tomorrow off! I have training..."
"No, that's tomorrow," David said, still not looking at her. "You're taking TODAY off."
Oh. Right. 1 AM.
"But..." she protested again.
"Don't force me into the role of informant," Larry chided. "Just sign the time off form and we shall depart."
Megan eyed him narrowly. "Tattling on me to Don won't help you," she said. "He's going to be doing the training with me, and I'm sure he won't want me to be in a bad mood when I do a Krav Maga demo with him..."
"Actually, I was thinking of Alan."
That stopped Megan. She couldn't threaten to Krav Maga Alan Eppes, not even in jest.
She couldn't think of an argument against this day off, other than it would dump all the paperwork on David and Colby.
Which was actually another argument in favor of the day off.
She signed.
"Good!" Larry beamed. "I'll pick you up at nine."
"No."
Larry looked taken aback.
Megan leaned closer. "If you are going to strong arm me into this, then you will be spending the night at my place. I am in desperate need..." out of the corner of her eye, she saw David and Colby working very hard to NOT hear this. "Of a back rub."
Colby and David sighed with relief.
"My fingers are at your command, my lady," Larry assured her. "Shall we away?" He offered her his arm as Megan wondered if that sentence was grammatically correct, an anachronistic turn of phrase or if the fact that it was two AM was affecting Larry, too.
She didn't bother to question it, though. She just took his arm and left the paperwork to her conniving co-workers.
***
The next morning, after a vigorous back rub, a good night's sleep, another vigorous back rub and a hot shower, Megan was in a much better mood. Not that she wouldn't pass up the chance for a little "payback" on Larry for "forcing" her to take a day off, but she wasn't going to actively seek one out.
Larry held the door of his Model A for her and he smiled as she slid in. "I am so glad you could make it today, Agent Reeves," he said gravely. His eyes twinkled mischievously.
Megan laughed. "I am so glad that you invited me, Professor Fleinhardt," she replied. "So, where are we going?"
"Ah, that would be telling," Larry murmured.
"Well, that's sort of the point of me asking," Megan replied.
Larry went around to the driver's side of his Model A, got in and fastened the so-despised seat belt. He flashed a grin at Megan and started off.
After they went several miles, Megan gave up on the fond hope that Larry would actually tell her without further prompting.
"Where are we going?" she demanded.
Larry beamed. "First, we are traveling down the scenic Pacific Coast Highway," he explained. "Then we will switch over to Highway 39, which once was the main artery of travel between Los Angeles and Orange Counties."
Megan tilted her head and considered. "We're going to Disneyland?" she guessed.
"No," Larry teased. "We are headed to one of Disneyland's lesser known rivals. A berry fun place filled with ghosts, funnel cakes and fried chicken."
And that's all she would get from him.
***
Megan heard thundering long before she saw their destination. She looked out the window, wide-eyed. There were roller coasters and tall towers and some sort of parachute ride and definitely a tall log flume ride and a wooden structure that was bigger than her apartment building. "Oh, my, what is this place!" she blurted in delight.
"This is Knott's Berry Farm," Larry informed her.
Megan's eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. "No berries, I take it?" she asked.
"Actually, yes... well, probably not berries on the vine, not any more," Larry corrected himself. "Walter Knott once farmed berries here. In fact, he and a neighbor created the boysenberry."
"The neighbor being Mr. Boysen?" Megan asked.
Larry nodded. "Then, during the depression, Mrs. Knott turned her talent for cooking into a career as a restaurateur." He smiled. "Her fried chicken is unbeatable. We shall dine in that restaurant tonight."
Megan grinned at the very idea. "Fried chicken? With waffles?"
Larry shook his head. "No, with biscuits, and boysenberry pie to follow."
"Sounds delicious," Megan murmured.
"Oh it is," Larry assured her. "That's why the Knott's restaurant was so successful that the line to get in became extremely long. This inspired Walter Knott to create something for the diners to do."
"He built a theme park?" Megan asked.
"Well, it didn't start out that way," Larry said. "It started out as a mere recreation of a ghost town."
"So he and Walt Disney weren't competitors," Megan said.
"No, in fact, they often invited each other over to their respective parks," Larry said. "After a while, Knott's Berry Farm metamorphosed into a world class amusement park. About a decade ago, it was acquired by the Cedar Parks Group."
He smiled as he pulled into the parking lot. "But the best part is still the Ghost Town... especially the Haunted Shack."
"What about that?" Megan asked, pointing to the tall wooden structure. Just then, a train full of screaming riders swooped past their line of sight.
Larry shuddered. "Definitely not Ghost Rider," he said. "That thing is an eyesore and the neighbors have complained about it since it was built."
Megan looked up at the huge wooden construction and imagined what it would be like to sit in the train of cars as they thundered through the sky.
She yanked her mind back to the present. "But they don't grow berries here any more?" she asked. She was sure that she'd seen Knott's jams in the grocery store.
"No," Larry said. "They do, however, still sell the Knott's brand here. They're especially well known for their boysenberry jams and syrup." He grinned. "I shall be purchasing a Sunrise Breakfast Kit... pancake batter mix and boysenberry syrup... for tomorrow."
"Sounds like you have everything planned out," she said with a grin.
"I believe I have every contingency planned for," Larry said. "Our first stop will be to break our fast on funnel cakes. Then..." He beamed. "Then we shall enjoy the mysteries of the Haunted Shack."
They strolled into the tunnel that led from the parking lot under Highway 39 to the park entrance. Before they disappeared underground, Megan shot a look over her shoulder at the roaring, wooden monstrosity that mortals knew as Ghost Rider.
***
Larry stopped and gazed around in horror. "It's gone!" he gasped. He looked around wildly. "Unless I'm lost?"
Megan had never heard anybody actually hope to be lost before. She wiped some powdered sugar off her chin and walked back to the food cart where they had bought their funnel cakes. Larry stopped looking around and followed her.
Before Megan could say anything, Larry asked timidly. "Excuse me, Miss? But where is the Haunted Shack?"
The girl smiled sadly and Larry winced. "I'm afraid they took it down," she said. "They needed the space for the roller coaster."
"Another roller coaster?" Larry glared at a steel roller coaster support that stood where the Haunted Shack had once been.
The funnel cake vendor shrugged and smiled apologetically.
Larry wandered off with a discouraged sigh. Megan flashed a smile at the vendor that was half a thank you and half an apology.
She hurried after Larry and caught up to him and she slipped her arm through his.
"I really wanted you to see The Haunted Shack," Larry said. "It was one of my special joys. A veritable cornucopia of physics and optical illusions all disguised as a haunted house."
"Sounds like it was a lot of fun," Megan said. She looked around. "So, now what? Do you want to leave?"
Larry shook himself. "Um, well... no. We're here and there are many other things to see... I hope." A crowd of people standing near a pool of water caught his eye. "They seem to be waiting for something."
They sauntered up to find out what was going on.
"What's up, guys?" Megan asked a group of teenagers.
One of the teens looked over, apparently annoyed at having his train of thought interrupted When he got a good look at Megan, his expression lightened up. "Oh, there's a fountain show starting in a few minutes."
"Oh, that sounds lovely!" Megan said, maybe a little too heartily in an attempt to get Larry's mind off the Haunted Shack.
A few minutes later, the music started. Water rose from the pool in sprays. The jets swayed gracefully, weaving intricate patterns. Lights came on, a constantly shifting pattern of color and water. All in perfect time to the background music.
Or so Megan assumed. It was hard to judge, with the constant roaring of a nearby roller coaster drowning out the music.
After a few minutes, Larry sighed and walked away. Megan tilted her head and watched the fountains for a few minutes longer. The patterns were lovely, but the roller coaster ruined the show.
She hurried after Larry again as he wandered around, looking at the rambling, roaring roller coasters that seemed to block out the horizon in all directions.
"Larry? Larry! Wait!" Megan called.
Larry stopped and she took his arm.
"You okay?" Megan asked.
Larry sighed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't remember this place as being so... noisy."
"Times change," Megan said. "Not your fault."
Larry smiled wryly. "You know, people mock the Disney parks as being overpriced and overly commercial. However, one cannot fault their designers."
They paused at some train tracks and looked both ways before crossing it. "When you are in Disneyland, not only is the outside world blocked out, but every section is blocked off from every other section. There's none of this... roaring from one ride disrupting another attraction."
Megan blinked and cast her mind back. She hadn't been to Disneyland since she was a child. However, she had some vivid memories. Larry was right. When a person was in Tomorrowland, there was no trace of Fantasyland, or Frontierland or ever Main Street.
"This place used to be so... charming! Quaint!" Larry complained. He waved his arms. "Now it's just a ... hodgepodge."
Megan followed his gestures. She could see metal roller coasters all around. Ghost Rider to the south seemed to fill the sky.
Then something closer to hand caught her eye. "What is that building?" she exclaimed, directing Larry's gaze down the street to a building that seemed to be covered with little round windows.
"The Bottle House!" Larry exclaimed. He perked up. "Oh, it's still here!"
They hurried over to the one story building and Larry ran his hand over the wall like he was greeting a favored pet.
Megan studied the wall curiously. "These are all... bottle bottoms set into the wall?" she asked.
Larry shook her head. "No, that's not it," he said. He took her elbow and escorted her into the building which turned out to be a gift shop filled with Native American crafts. "The walls are actually MADE from bottles."
Megan's eyes bugged out as she took in the sight. The inside wall had... bottle mouths. She bent down and peeked through one of the bottlenecks. "Amazing!" she said.
"The first such bottle house known was built by William Peck back in 1902," Larry informed her. "Sadly, it was torn down in the early 1980's." He scowled.
"When was this house built?" Megan asked hurriedly to distract him from thoughts of destructive heathens. "And what is the point of building a house from bottles?"
Larry grinned. "Back then, you built things with what you had on hand," he said. "Even it it's just three thousand whiskey bottles."
"They had whiskey bottles, but no bricks," Megan said dryly. She looked around, more intrigued by the building than the souvenirs for sale.
"Yes," Larry said, his good humor restored. "Bricks were expensive to import, whiskey paid for itself. There were many places in the Old West where the first commercial establishment was a saloon."
Megan laughed. "They had their priorities straight, didn't they?"
Larry grinned. He looked around and waved his hands to indicate the entire interior of the building. "This house is a recreation of Kelly's bottle house in Rhyolite, Nevada." He beamed at one of the salesclerks.
"Walter Knott was very interested in ghost towns," the clerk, Susan, according to her name tag said. "He restored the ghost town of Calico and gave it to San Bernardino county as a gift. Much of Knott's Berry's ghost town is based on Calico."
Larry nodded. "You have no idea how happy I am to see this building is still in existing," he said. "I was disappointed to learn that the Haunted Shack is no more."
Susan winced. "Yeah, I miss it, too," she said. She perked up a bit. "Have you seen the Mystery Lodge? It's pretty special. It's based on an attraction from Expo '86, up in Canada."
"Oh, I remember the Mystery Lodge!" Megan and Larry both exclaimed. They looked at each other, wide-eyed. "You were at Expo '86?" they said, again in unison.
Susan laughed. "One of you owes the other a coke!" she said.
"I shall be most happy to purchase the aforementioned beverage," Larry said. He bowed gallantly to Megan and followed her out into the sunshine.
Their search for Coca Cola was halted by a western 'shoot out' between stuntmen... ah... desperadoes ... in the street.
After the 'show down', Larry bought two sodas and they continued on their way to the Mystery Lodge.
They sipped and chatted about Expo '86 while they waited for the next Mystery Lodge show to begin. The show was considerably different than the one that they remembered from Expo '86. However, it was still a wise old shaman talking about the history of his people, while curls of 'smoke' formed pictures. An altogether enchanting performance. And not one roller coaster disrupted the mood.
They strolled out, Larry's mood obviously much brighter than it had been forty minutes ago. "There is still much to recommend this park," he said happily.
A rumbling noise caught Megan's attention and she turned her head to eye the wooden behemoth to the south. She pulled out the guide that they had been given when they came into the park and read, "Looming 118 feet over historic Ghost Town, Ghost Rider is the single-largest attraction in park history and one of the longest and tallest wooden roller coasters in the world. Brave riders enter a mysterious mine, only to be strapped into gold, silver and copper mining cars and sent along 4,533 feet of twisting, unforgiving timber. Highlights of this massive themed white-knuckle ride include a dramatic, 108-foot initial banked drop, 13 additional drops, sudden dips, banked turns and maximum G-forces of 3.14!"
"No."
"That's PI!"
"Well, yes, an approximation..."
"Come on, Larry," Megan wheedled. "Aren't you the least bit intrigued by PI G-Forces?"
"Absolutely not."
Megan sighed and shelved the problem for the moment. "So, where to, then?" she asked.
"I wonder..." Larry mused. "Oh, we shall have to look," he said. "Although I'm almost scared to..."
Larry's nervous dithering distracted Megan from the Ghost Rider. She hoped that whatever attraction Larry was worried about would still be there. She followed Larry through the park, across the train tracks and the unmistakable odor of horses wafted their way.
"It's still here!" Larry exclaimed happily.
Megan's jaw dropped. "It's a ... stagecoach!"
"A real stagecoach," Larry added. "A restored Butterfield coach, in fact."
Megan squealed like a little girl. She had always loved westerns. Hence her large collection of western movies (and the cowboy pajamas.) Now she got to live out a fantasy. She surged past Larry. Then she turned on her heel, grabbed Larry by the arm and dragged him, laughing, to the line for the stagecoach ride. "Can we sit on top?" she asked the line attendant.
The western attired attendant, whose name tag read 'Spike', grinned. "For you, m'am, anything," she said.
It probably helped that the crowd was light enough for them to be able to pick and choose their seats. Larry and Megan found themselves seated next to the driver, Rod, as he guided the team of four horses around the dirt track.
They bantered with the driver and he explained how the horses were trained and housed. "They have a better union than we do!" Rod explained. "They only work two hours a day until they're used to the work. Then they work four hours a day. And they get food, board and grooming thrown in."
"Sounds like my kind of job," Megan agreed.
After the Stagecoach ride, they had lunch. "What would you like to do after lunch?" Larry said.
"How about some rides?" Megan said.
Larry hesitated. "We should do something mild until our dinners settle," he said. "How about a show?"
Megan smiled. "If you'd like."
There was, of course, many shows including a display of Native American dance and another stunt show, this one in a special arena, that allowed for a lot of shooting and running around and falling off of buildings.
"So, is your stomach sufficiently settled?" Megan asked after the show.
"I guess so," Larry said. "How about the Log Flume?" he suggested hopefully.
"That will do... for a start," Megan grinned wickedly.
Larry swallowed. "And we can go on the Merry-Go-Round and some... bumper cars..." he enticed.
"I want to go on some roller coasters," Megan said. "If they're going to interrupt my show, then I want to get some use from them!"
They compromised by alternating easy-going rides such as the Log Flume with more thrilling rides like the Jaguar roller coaster. They went on the sky cabin for Larry, followed by the Supreme Scream for Megan.
There was a place where they could pan for gold in the Ghost Town portion and they came away from that with a sprinkling of gold dust in a small bottle.
The Calico Mine Train ride whipped through gloriously beautiful (if artificial) caverns at a pace that satisfied both Megan's need for speed and Larry's desire to maintain his lunch internally.
Megan caved in on the bumper cars and even consented to go on the carousel. Twice.
After they alighted from the genuine antique carousel, Larry guided her through the gates and they contemplated the park before them. They both agreed there was no need to see Camp Snoopy. The only adult type attraction there was the ice show, and they both preferred to see that sort of show on television.
"Oh, dear," Larry murmured.
"What's wrong?" Megan asked.
"I just realized that I picked the last two attractions we went on, three, if you count going on the merry-go-round twice as two rides," Larry said.
"I do."
"I guess that means I owe you a ride," Larry said judiciously.
"Good," Megan replied.
Larry looked at her and froze in horror.
Because she was grinning at him, revealing that she'd deliberately set him up.
Then Megan looked south, towards the rumbling, wooden monstrosity that dominated the southern skyline.
"Oh. You. Wouldn't."
"I wanna go on Ghost Rider," Megan whined.
Larry looked up at the heavens.
"You've always said that you loved to ride on trains," Megan continued.
Larry looked at her sternly. "A roller coaster is not a train," he said.
"Sure it is," Megan said. "A string of cars, traveling on a track..."
"With no engine and no means of braking to a halt..."
"That's the fun part!"
"If that's your idea of fun, then I certainly must present you with a more reliable dictionary," Larry said dourly.
However, she thought he was weakening. "Please??" Megan said. "It would make me feel ever so much better." She made puppy eyes for all she was worth.
"Megan, my sweet, as much as it pains me to refuse you anything, in this case, I must decline to acquiesce to your desires."
Megan giggled and changed tactics. "Don't tell me you're chic-ken," she said in a sing-song voice.
Larry smirked at her. "My dear, one difference between being in a sedentary occupation, such as a professor of physics, and being in a more active job, such as a federal law enforcement officer, is the lack of expectations of physical audacity."
Megan mulled that over for a few minutes, and then she got his meaning. "You mean, if, say, Colby refused to go on Ghost Rider, then Nikki would never let him live it down."
"Exactly."
"Where as Charlieeeeeee..." she dragged out the name as a look of horror crossed Larry's face. "Would never, ever be so childish as to tease you for your lack of... physical audacity."
Larry's eyes bugged out. "You. Wouldn't!"
"This from the man who threatened to rat me out to Alan Eppes."
Larry closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he opened his eyes, sighed, shook his head sadly. He drew himself up to his full height and offered her his arm. "Whatever Megan wants, Megan gets," he said gallantly. Or as gallantly as he could manage through clenched teeth.
Megan smirked.
Megan would never knowingly put Larry in danger. She would never force him to do something abhorrent to him. She would never consider forcing him to go on this ride if he was really afraid.
However, he stood in line with an exaggerated air of martyrdom that she was certain was put on for comedic effect.
His high-pitched screams during 4,533 feet of twisting track, 14 drops, and 3.14 G's, however, might well have been genuine.
***
Megan couldn't stop giggling.
Larry walked stiffly beside her, not touching her hand.
"Aww... c'mon Larry, you have to admit, that was fun!" Megan punched him lightly on the arm.
Larry looked down his nose at her, not an easy feat considering that she was four and a half inches taller than he was.
"Aww... don't be mad at me, Larry," the pathos of her plea was spoiled by another giggle.
"Hmpf." He didn't look at her when he said. "You will not speak of this incident to anybody. Ever."
"Of course not," Megan said with a feeble attempt at keeping a straight face. "Except maybe on my blog."
Larry gave her a dour look.
"Nobody knows that 'LongCoolWoman' is me," Megan assured him.
"Except Amita, who helped you create your blog, and Charlie, who reads and comments on it regularly, and reports on it to Don, Alan, David, Colby...Oh, did I mention that Millie, my BOSS also reads it..."
"I'll make it up tooo youuuu..." Megan crooned in his ear. She kissed his cheek.
Larry struggled to maintain his scowl.
Megan grinned. "We can go home now, I could give you a nice back rub."
Larry looked torn.
"Unless there's something else you want to do here?" Megan added. They'd gone on the ride that she'd really wanted to try. She figured that Ghost Rider was actually worth five or six of the tame rides that Larry favored.
"Actually, I wanted to go on the train," Larry said. "You must have noticed the tracks." He gestured towards the ground, although there were no actual tracks in sight.
Megan nodded.
"And I still want that fried chicken dinner with boysenberry pie to follow," Larry said, sounding like a child wanting a treat before bedtime.
Of course, Larry's main treat would come after bedtime, but Megan could go for a nice chicken dinner, and poisonberry pie.
"Okay," she said. "Train ride, chicken dinner, boysenberry pie... and don't forget that you wanted to pick up that breakfast kit. Then on to home..."
The corner of Larry's mouth twitched, just a little.
Megan chortled to herself.
Larry harrumphed, but Megan could tell that it was an act.
They strolled up to the train station in companionable silence.
Megan chuckled and slipped her arm through his. "So, tell me about this train of yours," she said.
"I wish it were my train," Larry said wistfully. "Unlike a lot of amusement parks, the Ghost Town Calico Railroad is a heritage railway. Walter Knott bought equipment from the Colorado's Rio Grande Southern and Denver & Rio Grande Western Railroads. He had them restored and they now travel around this lovely, if over roller coastered and noisy park."
Megan smiled. She refrained from looking south, but just barely. The train was almost as good at the stage coach, and actually more comfortable. Larry hesitated before sitting.
"You can have the window seat," Megan said gallantly. She felt she should start making up for the Ghost Rider as soon as possible and in as many ways as possible.
Larry shot her a grateful smile and settled near the window.
Megan sat next to him on the plush seat and leaned her cheek on his shoulder. She looked past him out the window as the park flowed past. Larry, she knew, was keeping an eye out for any attraction they may have missed. She, on the other hand, was letting her mind drift. She began planning some ways to seriously "make it up" to Larry.
Her reverie was disrupted by a series of rapid fire explosions close to her ear. Shades of yesterday's bank robber/hostage situation flooded her mind.
The two men, masked with bandannas, had fired their revolvers into the ceiling were standing in the aisle.
The train car was too narrow for Megan to maneuver properly, of she might have done some real damage. However, she managed to knock the first gunmen sprawling and had the other pinned across some unoccupied seats before she caught sight of Larry's face.
Larry was clearly torn between alarm and… amusement?
Megan's rational brain came back on line.
Men masked with bandannas, like bandits of the 19th century.
In an theme park.
Ohlord.
She released the stuntman that she had been trying to handcuff and backed away. She felt heat in her face and knew that she had turned as red as the "bandits" bandannas. She stammered out apologies and explanations.
The stuntmen, fortunately, took it all in stride. Laughing away her apologies and making as if being assaulted by federal officers was an everyday occurrence.
Megan couldn't wait to get off the train.
Larry on the other hand, said nothing.
"Don't you dare blog about this!" Megan warned.
Larry merely smiled. "You know I don't have a blog, my dear," he said in mild tones.
Megan wasn't even tempted to sigh with relief because she knew there was a second shoe waiting to drop.
"Of course, should I accidentally mention something to Charles…" He grinned wickedly.
"Okay," Megan sighed. "I guess I deserved that for the Ghost Rider thing."
"Hm.." Larry said.
"So, what do I have to do to keep this little incident a secret from my co-workers?" Megan asked. She could think of several bribes that she thought Larry would like. That she'd like, too.
"Well," Larry said benevolently. "This day was mostly a success. I would really like to come back here in the near future."
Megan sighed. That was certainly doable. Even if it was 'G' rated.
"Provided we can bring Charles and Amita," Larry added, with a significant look towards the Ghost Rider.
Megan gave him a sly look. "And Colby? Maybe Nikki and her camera?"
Larry laughed. "Done! I'll even brave Ghost Rider again for a chance to hear Charles scream like a little girl," he smirked. He offered her his arm.
"Ha! I knew I could... train ... you to like roller coasters," Megan said. She took his arm and they strolled off into the sunset.
By Jelsemium
For Numb3rs Write Off Challenge #14 - Megan!
Team: Schmoop
Prompt: Train
Numb3rs Grid: 1 Day Off, 4,533 Feet of Torture, 14 Drops and 3.14 Gravities
This was written for the Schmoop Vs. Angst Challenge over at Numb3rsWriteoff
Please head to the polls and rate this story based on Schmoopiness, Meganinity and Trains
Schmoopy Train Poll
Megan was grimly tapping away at her report, although she had been reduced to hunting and pecking instead of her usual quick fingered input. Her head hurt. Her back hurt. Her ears were still ringing from all the shooting at the bank... Gads, she was so tired of bank robbers/hostage takers/gang bangers. Maybe she SHOULD have chucked it all and retired. Maybe go back east to mend fences with her family... Get that PhD...
She sighed. What she really wanted right now was a cup full of Vicodin and a back rub.
A slight cough caught her attention and a familiar figure in a wildly colored Hawaiian shirt laid a sheet of paper on her desk. Oh... speaking of back rubs...
"Hello, Larry," Megan smiled.
"Good morning, Megan," Larry said seriously.
Megan glanced at the clock on her computer screen, it was almost 1 AM. "Wow, what are you doing here so late?" she asked.
"Waiting for you," Larry said quietly. He nodded at the paper he had just laid on her desk. "I require your signature on that paper."
"Oh!" Megan looked down. And here she thought that Larry had come to rescue her from back aches. When she focused on the paper she realized that Larry had much more in mind than a simple back rub. "That's a time off form?" she asked. "I didn't fill in a time off form?" She looked around.
Colby and David carefully avoided her eyes.
Megan looked at the paper again. Then she looked at the clock/calendar on her computer. "I can't take tomorrow off! I have training..."
"No, that's tomorrow," David said, still not looking at her. "You're taking TODAY off."
Oh. Right. 1 AM.
"But..." she protested again.
"Don't force me into the role of informant," Larry chided. "Just sign the time off form and we shall depart."
Megan eyed him narrowly. "Tattling on me to Don won't help you," she said. "He's going to be doing the training with me, and I'm sure he won't want me to be in a bad mood when I do a Krav Maga demo with him..."
"Actually, I was thinking of Alan."
That stopped Megan. She couldn't threaten to Krav Maga Alan Eppes, not even in jest.
She couldn't think of an argument against this day off, other than it would dump all the paperwork on David and Colby.
Which was actually another argument in favor of the day off.
She signed.
"Good!" Larry beamed. "I'll pick you up at nine."
"No."
Larry looked taken aback.
Megan leaned closer. "If you are going to strong arm me into this, then you will be spending the night at my place. I am in desperate need..." out of the corner of her eye, she saw David and Colby working very hard to NOT hear this. "Of a back rub."
Colby and David sighed with relief.
"My fingers are at your command, my lady," Larry assured her. "Shall we away?" He offered her his arm as Megan wondered if that sentence was grammatically correct, an anachronistic turn of phrase or if the fact that it was two AM was affecting Larry, too.
She didn't bother to question it, though. She just took his arm and left the paperwork to her conniving co-workers.
***
The next morning, after a vigorous back rub, a good night's sleep, another vigorous back rub and a hot shower, Megan was in a much better mood. Not that she wouldn't pass up the chance for a little "payback" on Larry for "forcing" her to take a day off, but she wasn't going to actively seek one out.
Larry held the door of his Model A for her and he smiled as she slid in. "I am so glad you could make it today, Agent Reeves," he said gravely. His eyes twinkled mischievously.
Megan laughed. "I am so glad that you invited me, Professor Fleinhardt," she replied. "So, where are we going?"
"Ah, that would be telling," Larry murmured.
"Well, that's sort of the point of me asking," Megan replied.
Larry went around to the driver's side of his Model A, got in and fastened the so-despised seat belt. He flashed a grin at Megan and started off.
After they went several miles, Megan gave up on the fond hope that Larry would actually tell her without further prompting.
"Where are we going?" she demanded.
Larry beamed. "First, we are traveling down the scenic Pacific Coast Highway," he explained. "Then we will switch over to Highway 39, which once was the main artery of travel between Los Angeles and Orange Counties."
Megan tilted her head and considered. "We're going to Disneyland?" she guessed.
"No," Larry teased. "We are headed to one of Disneyland's lesser known rivals. A berry fun place filled with ghosts, funnel cakes and fried chicken."
And that's all she would get from him.
***
Megan heard thundering long before she saw their destination. She looked out the window, wide-eyed. There were roller coasters and tall towers and some sort of parachute ride and definitely a tall log flume ride and a wooden structure that was bigger than her apartment building. "Oh, my, what is this place!" she blurted in delight.
"This is Knott's Berry Farm," Larry informed her.
Megan's eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. "No berries, I take it?" she asked.
"Actually, yes... well, probably not berries on the vine, not any more," Larry corrected himself. "Walter Knott once farmed berries here. In fact, he and a neighbor created the boysenberry."
"The neighbor being Mr. Boysen?" Megan asked.
Larry nodded. "Then, during the depression, Mrs. Knott turned her talent for cooking into a career as a restaurateur." He smiled. "Her fried chicken is unbeatable. We shall dine in that restaurant tonight."
Megan grinned at the very idea. "Fried chicken? With waffles?"
Larry shook his head. "No, with biscuits, and boysenberry pie to follow."
"Sounds delicious," Megan murmured.
"Oh it is," Larry assured her. "That's why the Knott's restaurant was so successful that the line to get in became extremely long. This inspired Walter Knott to create something for the diners to do."
"He built a theme park?" Megan asked.
"Well, it didn't start out that way," Larry said. "It started out as a mere recreation of a ghost town."
"So he and Walt Disney weren't competitors," Megan said.
"No, in fact, they often invited each other over to their respective parks," Larry said. "After a while, Knott's Berry Farm metamorphosed into a world class amusement park. About a decade ago, it was acquired by the Cedar Parks Group."
He smiled as he pulled into the parking lot. "But the best part is still the Ghost Town... especially the Haunted Shack."
"What about that?" Megan asked, pointing to the tall wooden structure. Just then, a train full of screaming riders swooped past their line of sight.
Larry shuddered. "Definitely not Ghost Rider," he said. "That thing is an eyesore and the neighbors have complained about it since it was built."
Megan looked up at the huge wooden construction and imagined what it would be like to sit in the train of cars as they thundered through the sky.
She yanked her mind back to the present. "But they don't grow berries here any more?" she asked. She was sure that she'd seen Knott's jams in the grocery store.
"No," Larry said. "They do, however, still sell the Knott's brand here. They're especially well known for their boysenberry jams and syrup." He grinned. "I shall be purchasing a Sunrise Breakfast Kit... pancake batter mix and boysenberry syrup... for tomorrow."
"Sounds like you have everything planned out," she said with a grin.
"I believe I have every contingency planned for," Larry said. "Our first stop will be to break our fast on funnel cakes. Then..." He beamed. "Then we shall enjoy the mysteries of the Haunted Shack."
They strolled into the tunnel that led from the parking lot under Highway 39 to the park entrance. Before they disappeared underground, Megan shot a look over her shoulder at the roaring, wooden monstrosity that mortals knew as Ghost Rider.
***
Larry stopped and gazed around in horror. "It's gone!" he gasped. He looked around wildly. "Unless I'm lost?"
Megan had never heard anybody actually hope to be lost before. She wiped some powdered sugar off her chin and walked back to the food cart where they had bought their funnel cakes. Larry stopped looking around and followed her.
Before Megan could say anything, Larry asked timidly. "Excuse me, Miss? But where is the Haunted Shack?"
The girl smiled sadly and Larry winced. "I'm afraid they took it down," she said. "They needed the space for the roller coaster."
"Another roller coaster?" Larry glared at a steel roller coaster support that stood where the Haunted Shack had once been.
The funnel cake vendor shrugged and smiled apologetically.
Larry wandered off with a discouraged sigh. Megan flashed a smile at the vendor that was half a thank you and half an apology.
She hurried after Larry and caught up to him and she slipped her arm through his.
"I really wanted you to see The Haunted Shack," Larry said. "It was one of my special joys. A veritable cornucopia of physics and optical illusions all disguised as a haunted house."
"Sounds like it was a lot of fun," Megan said. She looked around. "So, now what? Do you want to leave?"
Larry shook himself. "Um, well... no. We're here and there are many other things to see... I hope." A crowd of people standing near a pool of water caught his eye. "They seem to be waiting for something."
They sauntered up to find out what was going on.
"What's up, guys?" Megan asked a group of teenagers.
One of the teens looked over, apparently annoyed at having his train of thought interrupted When he got a good look at Megan, his expression lightened up. "Oh, there's a fountain show starting in a few minutes."
"Oh, that sounds lovely!" Megan said, maybe a little too heartily in an attempt to get Larry's mind off the Haunted Shack.
A few minutes later, the music started. Water rose from the pool in sprays. The jets swayed gracefully, weaving intricate patterns. Lights came on, a constantly shifting pattern of color and water. All in perfect time to the background music.
Or so Megan assumed. It was hard to judge, with the constant roaring of a nearby roller coaster drowning out the music.
After a few minutes, Larry sighed and walked away. Megan tilted her head and watched the fountains for a few minutes longer. The patterns were lovely, but the roller coaster ruined the show.
She hurried after Larry again as he wandered around, looking at the rambling, roaring roller coasters that seemed to block out the horizon in all directions.
"Larry? Larry! Wait!" Megan called.
Larry stopped and she took his arm.
"You okay?" Megan asked.
Larry sighed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't remember this place as being so... noisy."
"Times change," Megan said. "Not your fault."
Larry smiled wryly. "You know, people mock the Disney parks as being overpriced and overly commercial. However, one cannot fault their designers."
They paused at some train tracks and looked both ways before crossing it. "When you are in Disneyland, not only is the outside world blocked out, but every section is blocked off from every other section. There's none of this... roaring from one ride disrupting another attraction."
Megan blinked and cast her mind back. She hadn't been to Disneyland since she was a child. However, she had some vivid memories. Larry was right. When a person was in Tomorrowland, there was no trace of Fantasyland, or Frontierland or ever Main Street.
"This place used to be so... charming! Quaint!" Larry complained. He waved his arms. "Now it's just a ... hodgepodge."
Megan followed his gestures. She could see metal roller coasters all around. Ghost Rider to the south seemed to fill the sky.
Then something closer to hand caught her eye. "What is that building?" she exclaimed, directing Larry's gaze down the street to a building that seemed to be covered with little round windows.
"The Bottle House!" Larry exclaimed. He perked up. "Oh, it's still here!"
They hurried over to the one story building and Larry ran his hand over the wall like he was greeting a favored pet.
Megan studied the wall curiously. "These are all... bottle bottoms set into the wall?" she asked.
Larry shook her head. "No, that's not it," he said. He took her elbow and escorted her into the building which turned out to be a gift shop filled with Native American crafts. "The walls are actually MADE from bottles."
Megan's eyes bugged out as she took in the sight. The inside wall had... bottle mouths. She bent down and peeked through one of the bottlenecks. "Amazing!" she said.
"The first such bottle house known was built by William Peck back in 1902," Larry informed her. "Sadly, it was torn down in the early 1980's." He scowled.
"When was this house built?" Megan asked hurriedly to distract him from thoughts of destructive heathens. "And what is the point of building a house from bottles?"
Larry grinned. "Back then, you built things with what you had on hand," he said. "Even it it's just three thousand whiskey bottles."
"They had whiskey bottles, but no bricks," Megan said dryly. She looked around, more intrigued by the building than the souvenirs for sale.
"Yes," Larry said, his good humor restored. "Bricks were expensive to import, whiskey paid for itself. There were many places in the Old West where the first commercial establishment was a saloon."
Megan laughed. "They had their priorities straight, didn't they?"
Larry grinned. He looked around and waved his hands to indicate the entire interior of the building. "This house is a recreation of Kelly's bottle house in Rhyolite, Nevada." He beamed at one of the salesclerks.
"Walter Knott was very interested in ghost towns," the clerk, Susan, according to her name tag said. "He restored the ghost town of Calico and gave it to San Bernardino county as a gift. Much of Knott's Berry's ghost town is based on Calico."
Larry nodded. "You have no idea how happy I am to see this building is still in existing," he said. "I was disappointed to learn that the Haunted Shack is no more."
Susan winced. "Yeah, I miss it, too," she said. She perked up a bit. "Have you seen the Mystery Lodge? It's pretty special. It's based on an attraction from Expo '86, up in Canada."
"Oh, I remember the Mystery Lodge!" Megan and Larry both exclaimed. They looked at each other, wide-eyed. "You were at Expo '86?" they said, again in unison.
Susan laughed. "One of you owes the other a coke!" she said.
"I shall be most happy to purchase the aforementioned beverage," Larry said. He bowed gallantly to Megan and followed her out into the sunshine.
Their search for Coca Cola was halted by a western 'shoot out' between stuntmen... ah... desperadoes ... in the street.
After the 'show down', Larry bought two sodas and they continued on their way to the Mystery Lodge.
They sipped and chatted about Expo '86 while they waited for the next Mystery Lodge show to begin. The show was considerably different than the one that they remembered from Expo '86. However, it was still a wise old shaman talking about the history of his people, while curls of 'smoke' formed pictures. An altogether enchanting performance. And not one roller coaster disrupted the mood.
They strolled out, Larry's mood obviously much brighter than it had been forty minutes ago. "There is still much to recommend this park," he said happily.
A rumbling noise caught Megan's attention and she turned her head to eye the wooden behemoth to the south. She pulled out the guide that they had been given when they came into the park and read, "Looming 118 feet over historic Ghost Town, Ghost Rider is the single-largest attraction in park history and one of the longest and tallest wooden roller coasters in the world. Brave riders enter a mysterious mine, only to be strapped into gold, silver and copper mining cars and sent along 4,533 feet of twisting, unforgiving timber. Highlights of this massive themed white-knuckle ride include a dramatic, 108-foot initial banked drop, 13 additional drops, sudden dips, banked turns and maximum G-forces of 3.14!"
"No."
"That's PI!"
"Well, yes, an approximation..."
"Come on, Larry," Megan wheedled. "Aren't you the least bit intrigued by PI G-Forces?"
"Absolutely not."
Megan sighed and shelved the problem for the moment. "So, where to, then?" she asked.
"I wonder..." Larry mused. "Oh, we shall have to look," he said. "Although I'm almost scared to..."
Larry's nervous dithering distracted Megan from the Ghost Rider. She hoped that whatever attraction Larry was worried about would still be there. She followed Larry through the park, across the train tracks and the unmistakable odor of horses wafted their way.
"It's still here!" Larry exclaimed happily.
Megan's jaw dropped. "It's a ... stagecoach!"
"A real stagecoach," Larry added. "A restored Butterfield coach, in fact."
Megan squealed like a little girl. She had always loved westerns. Hence her large collection of western movies (and the cowboy pajamas.) Now she got to live out a fantasy. She surged past Larry. Then she turned on her heel, grabbed Larry by the arm and dragged him, laughing, to the line for the stagecoach ride. "Can we sit on top?" she asked the line attendant.
The western attired attendant, whose name tag read 'Spike', grinned. "For you, m'am, anything," she said.
It probably helped that the crowd was light enough for them to be able to pick and choose their seats. Larry and Megan found themselves seated next to the driver, Rod, as he guided the team of four horses around the dirt track.
They bantered with the driver and he explained how the horses were trained and housed. "They have a better union than we do!" Rod explained. "They only work two hours a day until they're used to the work. Then they work four hours a day. And they get food, board and grooming thrown in."
"Sounds like my kind of job," Megan agreed.
After the Stagecoach ride, they had lunch. "What would you like to do after lunch?" Larry said.
"How about some rides?" Megan said.
Larry hesitated. "We should do something mild until our dinners settle," he said. "How about a show?"
Megan smiled. "If you'd like."
There was, of course, many shows including a display of Native American dance and another stunt show, this one in a special arena, that allowed for a lot of shooting and running around and falling off of buildings.
"So, is your stomach sufficiently settled?" Megan asked after the show.
"I guess so," Larry said. "How about the Log Flume?" he suggested hopefully.
"That will do... for a start," Megan grinned wickedly.
Larry swallowed. "And we can go on the Merry-Go-Round and some... bumper cars..." he enticed.
"I want to go on some roller coasters," Megan said. "If they're going to interrupt my show, then I want to get some use from them!"
They compromised by alternating easy-going rides such as the Log Flume with more thrilling rides like the Jaguar roller coaster. They went on the sky cabin for Larry, followed by the Supreme Scream for Megan.
There was a place where they could pan for gold in the Ghost Town portion and they came away from that with a sprinkling of gold dust in a small bottle.
The Calico Mine Train ride whipped through gloriously beautiful (if artificial) caverns at a pace that satisfied both Megan's need for speed and Larry's desire to maintain his lunch internally.
Megan caved in on the bumper cars and even consented to go on the carousel. Twice.
After they alighted from the genuine antique carousel, Larry guided her through the gates and they contemplated the park before them. They both agreed there was no need to see Camp Snoopy. The only adult type attraction there was the ice show, and they both preferred to see that sort of show on television.
"Oh, dear," Larry murmured.
"What's wrong?" Megan asked.
"I just realized that I picked the last two attractions we went on, three, if you count going on the merry-go-round twice as two rides," Larry said.
"I do."
"I guess that means I owe you a ride," Larry said judiciously.
"Good," Megan replied.
Larry looked at her and froze in horror.
Because she was grinning at him, revealing that she'd deliberately set him up.
Then Megan looked south, towards the rumbling, wooden monstrosity that dominated the southern skyline.
"Oh. You. Wouldn't."
"I wanna go on Ghost Rider," Megan whined.
Larry looked up at the heavens.
"You've always said that you loved to ride on trains," Megan continued.
Larry looked at her sternly. "A roller coaster is not a train," he said.
"Sure it is," Megan said. "A string of cars, traveling on a track..."
"With no engine and no means of braking to a halt..."
"That's the fun part!"
"If that's your idea of fun, then I certainly must present you with a more reliable dictionary," Larry said dourly.
However, she thought he was weakening. "Please??" Megan said. "It would make me feel ever so much better." She made puppy eyes for all she was worth.
"Megan, my sweet, as much as it pains me to refuse you anything, in this case, I must decline to acquiesce to your desires."
Megan giggled and changed tactics. "Don't tell me you're chic-ken," she said in a sing-song voice.
Larry smirked at her. "My dear, one difference between being in a sedentary occupation, such as a professor of physics, and being in a more active job, such as a federal law enforcement officer, is the lack of expectations of physical audacity."
Megan mulled that over for a few minutes, and then she got his meaning. "You mean, if, say, Colby refused to go on Ghost Rider, then Nikki would never let him live it down."
"Exactly."
"Where as Charlieeeeeee..." she dragged out the name as a look of horror crossed Larry's face. "Would never, ever be so childish as to tease you for your lack of... physical audacity."
Larry's eyes bugged out. "You. Wouldn't!"
"This from the man who threatened to rat me out to Alan Eppes."
Larry closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he opened his eyes, sighed, shook his head sadly. He drew himself up to his full height and offered her his arm. "Whatever Megan wants, Megan gets," he said gallantly. Or as gallantly as he could manage through clenched teeth.
Megan smirked.
Megan would never knowingly put Larry in danger. She would never force him to do something abhorrent to him. She would never consider forcing him to go on this ride if he was really afraid.
However, he stood in line with an exaggerated air of martyrdom that she was certain was put on for comedic effect.
His high-pitched screams during 4,533 feet of twisting track, 14 drops, and 3.14 G's, however, might well have been genuine.
***
Megan couldn't stop giggling.
Larry walked stiffly beside her, not touching her hand.
"Aww... c'mon Larry, you have to admit, that was fun!" Megan punched him lightly on the arm.
Larry looked down his nose at her, not an easy feat considering that she was four and a half inches taller than he was.
"Aww... don't be mad at me, Larry," the pathos of her plea was spoiled by another giggle.
"Hmpf." He didn't look at her when he said. "You will not speak of this incident to anybody. Ever."
"Of course not," Megan said with a feeble attempt at keeping a straight face. "Except maybe on my blog."
Larry gave her a dour look.
"Nobody knows that 'LongCoolWoman' is me," Megan assured him.
"Except Amita, who helped you create your blog, and Charlie, who reads and comments on it regularly, and reports on it to Don, Alan, David, Colby...Oh, did I mention that Millie, my BOSS also reads it..."
"I'll make it up tooo youuuu..." Megan crooned in his ear. She kissed his cheek.
Larry struggled to maintain his scowl.
Megan grinned. "We can go home now, I could give you a nice back rub."
Larry looked torn.
"Unless there's something else you want to do here?" Megan added. They'd gone on the ride that she'd really wanted to try. She figured that Ghost Rider was actually worth five or six of the tame rides that Larry favored.
"Actually, I wanted to go on the train," Larry said. "You must have noticed the tracks." He gestured towards the ground, although there were no actual tracks in sight.
Megan nodded.
"And I still want that fried chicken dinner with boysenberry pie to follow," Larry said, sounding like a child wanting a treat before bedtime.
Of course, Larry's main treat would come after bedtime, but Megan could go for a nice chicken dinner, and poisonberry pie.
"Okay," she said. "Train ride, chicken dinner, boysenberry pie... and don't forget that you wanted to pick up that breakfast kit. Then on to home..."
The corner of Larry's mouth twitched, just a little.
Megan chortled to herself.
Larry harrumphed, but Megan could tell that it was an act.
They strolled up to the train station in companionable silence.
Megan chuckled and slipped her arm through his. "So, tell me about this train of yours," she said.
"I wish it were my train," Larry said wistfully. "Unlike a lot of amusement parks, the Ghost Town Calico Railroad is a heritage railway. Walter Knott bought equipment from the Colorado's Rio Grande Southern and Denver & Rio Grande Western Railroads. He had them restored and they now travel around this lovely, if over roller coastered and noisy park."
Megan smiled. She refrained from looking south, but just barely. The train was almost as good at the stage coach, and actually more comfortable. Larry hesitated before sitting.
"You can have the window seat," Megan said gallantly. She felt she should start making up for the Ghost Rider as soon as possible and in as many ways as possible.
Larry shot her a grateful smile and settled near the window.
Megan sat next to him on the plush seat and leaned her cheek on his shoulder. She looked past him out the window as the park flowed past. Larry, she knew, was keeping an eye out for any attraction they may have missed. She, on the other hand, was letting her mind drift. She began planning some ways to seriously "make it up" to Larry.
Her reverie was disrupted by a series of rapid fire explosions close to her ear. Shades of yesterday's bank robber/hostage situation flooded her mind.
The two men, masked with bandannas, had fired their revolvers into the ceiling were standing in the aisle.
The train car was too narrow for Megan to maneuver properly, of she might have done some real damage. However, she managed to knock the first gunmen sprawling and had the other pinned across some unoccupied seats before she caught sight of Larry's face.
Larry was clearly torn between alarm and… amusement?
Megan's rational brain came back on line.
Men masked with bandannas, like bandits of the 19th century.
In an theme park.
Ohlord.
She released the stuntman that she had been trying to handcuff and backed away. She felt heat in her face and knew that she had turned as red as the "bandits" bandannas. She stammered out apologies and explanations.
The stuntmen, fortunately, took it all in stride. Laughing away her apologies and making as if being assaulted by federal officers was an everyday occurrence.
Megan couldn't wait to get off the train.
Larry on the other hand, said nothing.
"Don't you dare blog about this!" Megan warned.
Larry merely smiled. "You know I don't have a blog, my dear," he said in mild tones.
Megan wasn't even tempted to sigh with relief because she knew there was a second shoe waiting to drop.
"Of course, should I accidentally mention something to Charles…" He grinned wickedly.
"Okay," Megan sighed. "I guess I deserved that for the Ghost Rider thing."
"Hm.." Larry said.
"So, what do I have to do to keep this little incident a secret from my co-workers?" Megan asked. She could think of several bribes that she thought Larry would like. That she'd like, too.
"Well," Larry said benevolently. "This day was mostly a success. I would really like to come back here in the near future."
Megan sighed. That was certainly doable. Even if it was 'G' rated.
"Provided we can bring Charles and Amita," Larry added, with a significant look towards the Ghost Rider.
Megan gave him a sly look. "And Colby? Maybe Nikki and her camera?"
Larry laughed. "Done! I'll even brave Ghost Rider again for a chance to hear Charles scream like a little girl," he smirked. He offered her his arm.
"Ha! I knew I could... train ... you to like roller coasters," Megan said. She took his arm and they strolled off into the sunset.