As much as what you did was a great betraying of everyone's trust, now's the time for you to make amends and to prove to everyone you're going to do the right thing. In this case, the first obvious thing will be to refund the money people spent on you. I think that one, you're already aware of it. The second will be to work to gain back the trust of those who don't beleive in you anymore. That's going to be the harder part.
I'm a big believer in the "forgive but don't forget" kind of thing. IE: you fucked up, BIG time. Show to us you're willing to work to make things better, to prove you're a good person despite your decision.
I still think that, despite everything, you're a good person that did something for the wrong reasons. I'm very honestly happy that, in the end, you didn't put an end to your life. But now comes the hard part of your decision, which is repairing everything.
Frankly, I have no clue how you can do it. I wasn't in a financial situation to give any money, so I don't feel bad about that part. However, I feel bad about how you lied to me, and every one else who feels that you deceived them, and make amends.
Personally, I know that, for myself, your actions from this point on will dictate my views of you. The simple fact that you made this post is a sign that you're most likely headed in the right direction. It'll hard, it'll be taxing and it sure as hell will be testing, but you gotta do it.
DO YOU REALLY think he'll give back one penny that people spent on him?! GET A CLUE! He took people for hundreds of thousands of dollars not to mention their time and effort. How do you repay THAT? Tell me.
I honestly think that your "hundred of thousands" of dollars is a way exaggerated figure and would really like to know where you get your figures from. I do believe a plane ticket goes to about 2K$CDN from Europe to the USofAs, and if 8K$CDN was spent during the 16 days he was in the US, then he really went ALL OUT. I mean, hell, I can hardly think of a way to spent 2K$ a day on experiences. After all, there is only so many hours in a day. Your "hundreds of thousands of dollars" would mean he spent upwards 10K$/day. Somehow, I can't think of ANYTHING besides a new car a day that could be that expensive.
And even if it was 15K$, how do you repay people that money? One. Person. At. A. Time. If some people can spend that much money on furry art, there's no way someone can't repay debt of the same amount within a decent amount of time.
So, again, do show me where you get your 100,000+$ figure. Because I doubt that it's a number that's even REMOTELY close to the actual figures. Do it. I dare you. Prove me wrong.
It's around what? 5-10k? that's in PHYSICAL money spent. PERIOD. You can't fucking measure out in dollars the HOURS people spent on their own time, campaigning for him, getting donations, and shit like that. You also can't factor on how in my situation I was supposed to get presents.. and it was used to help this asshole
I LOVE how you're taking his side tho. Keep it up. Did I blow it out of proportion? Sure I did. But you have to realize something. I sent friends of mine.. FRIENDS OF MINE to help out with a fucking cause that I thought was noble and just and have it turn out to be a sham.
This isn't going to be repaid. There's not going to be refunds. Don't fucking expect it.
Yes, physical money. As you so blatantly pointed out, you can't measure the hours. But, last I checked, despite the fact that he lied about his condition, those folks had a good time too. Should he have to repay their fun, as well, which he catalysed with his lie? Or would that have to be them to pay him for such quality time?
And you were supposed to get presents? And you're whining? How old exactly are you? You automatically expect presents because it was your birthday or something? I'm going on 27, and I don't expect any other presents from my friends than being there and have fun with me to celebrate. If they get me something, cool, but I don't expect presents. Every minute spent with my friends and family is worth more than any kind of pecuniary return that time investment could return. If the way you measure friendship is by how much stuff they give you, by how much monetary gain you get, then you seriously need to look back at your way of life and do major clean up.
And your friends should be repaid the money that they didn't spend on your presents. And then, they should spend it on you, as you so loudly put it.
Yes, it sucks. The whole situation reeks of months-old pig poop. But where ever you came from, here we are. Every day, people get scammed. Heck, my aunt got scammed in a ponzi scheme for over 500,000$CDN. Only her retirement fund. By an actual banker with a good repuation. But that's more than likely chump change compared to your presents. But I'll hold the same discourse I've held: I'll help her in any way I can. But, ultimately, she got scammed and probably lost everything because she didn't look at the whole picture.
Ask yourself why you were fooled and some other people weren't. Because in a scam, it takes two for it to work: the scammer and the scammee. I told my aunt the same thing. She failed to see the signs, and now she's paying dearly for it. And I still help her as much as I can. I, too, got scammed by a furry artist once. Since then, I've grown wiser about how to deal with money within the fandom. I had my post about how I got ripped off and moved on. No need to have an aneurysm over it, as life goes on, money comes and goes.
And yes, I expect Num to repay those who gave money to his cause. Because it's the right thing to do. And I'm sure he hurts more than you could ever fathom. And that he's angrier with himself with every passing minute. And because if everyone had the same reaction you have, if he thought nobody was there to still be his friend after what happened, after he willfully confessed and put it out in the open instead of "faking" his death by creating a new personality online and making sure nobody's none the wiser about what truly happened, he then would have even more reasons to wish to die and were he to do it, then you can be 100% certain nobody will ever be repaid their money. As long as there's life, there's hope.
Unforgettable doesn't mean unforgivable. Learn from your mistake so it doesn't happen to you or anyone you know again.
In this case, the first obvious thing will be to refund the money people spent on you. I think that one, you're already aware of it.
The second will be to work to gain back the trust of those who don't beleive in you anymore. That's going to be the harder part.
I'm a big believer in the "forgive but don't forget" kind of thing. IE: you fucked up, BIG time. Show to us you're willing to work to make things better, to prove you're a good person despite your decision.
I still think that, despite everything, you're a good person that did something for the wrong reasons. I'm very honestly happy that, in the end, you didn't put an end to your life. But now comes the hard part of your decision, which is repairing everything.
Frankly, I have no clue how you can do it. I wasn't in a financial situation to give any money, so I don't feel bad about that part. However, I feel bad about how you lied to me, and every one else who feels that you deceived them, and make amends.
Personally, I know that, for myself, your actions from this point on will dictate my views of you. The simple fact that you made this post is a sign that you're most likely headed in the right direction.
It'll hard, it'll be taxing and it sure as hell will be testing, but you gotta do it.
*hugs*
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DO YOU REALLY think he'll give back one penny that people spent on him?! GET A CLUE! He took people for hundreds of thousands of dollars not to mention their time and effort. How do you repay THAT? Tell me.
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and the amount is about 5000$
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I mean, hell, I can hardly think of a way to spent 2K$ a day on experiences. After all, there is only so many hours in a day. Your "hundreds of thousands of dollars" would mean he spent upwards 10K$/day. Somehow, I can't think of ANYTHING besides a new car a day that could be that expensive.
And even if it was 15K$, how do you repay people that money?
One. Person. At. A. Time.
If some people can spend that much money on furry art, there's no way someone can't repay debt of the same amount within a decent amount of time.
So, again, do show me where you get your 100,000+$ figure. Because I doubt that it's a number that's even REMOTELY close to the actual figures.
Do it. I dare you. Prove me wrong.
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I LOVE how you're taking his side tho. Keep it up. Did I blow it out of proportion? Sure I did. But you have to realize something. I sent friends of mine.. FRIENDS OF MINE to help out with a fucking cause that I thought was noble and just and have it turn out to be a sham.
This isn't going to be repaid. There's not going to be refunds. Don't fucking expect it.
Johnny
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Should he have to repay their fun, as well, which he catalysed with his lie? Or would that have to be them to pay him for such quality time?
And you were supposed to get presents? And you're whining? How old exactly are you? You automatically expect presents because it was your birthday or something?
I'm going on 27, and I don't expect any other presents from my friends than being there and have fun with me to celebrate. If they get me something, cool, but I don't expect presents.
Every minute spent with my friends and family is worth more than any kind of pecuniary return that time investment could return. If the way you measure friendship is by how much stuff they give you, by how much monetary gain you get, then you seriously need to look back at your way of life and do major clean up.
And your friends should be repaid the money that they didn't spend on your presents. And then, they should spend it on you, as you so loudly put it.
Yes, it sucks. The whole situation reeks of months-old pig poop. But where ever you came from, here we are. Every day, people get scammed. Heck, my aunt got scammed in a ponzi scheme for over 500,000$CDN. Only her retirement fund. By an actual banker with a good repuation.
But that's more than likely chump change compared to your presents.
But I'll hold the same discourse I've held: I'll help her in any way I can. But, ultimately, she got scammed and probably lost everything because she didn't look at the whole picture.
Ask yourself why you were fooled and some other people weren't. Because in a scam, it takes two for it to work: the scammer and the scammee. I told my aunt the same thing. She failed to see the signs, and now she's paying dearly for it.
And I still help her as much as I can.
I, too, got scammed by a furry artist once. Since then, I've grown wiser about how to deal with money within the fandom. I had my post about how I got ripped off and moved on. No need to have an aneurysm over it, as life goes on, money comes and goes.
And yes, I expect Num to repay those who gave money to his cause. Because it's the right thing to do. And I'm sure he hurts more than you could ever fathom. And that he's angrier with himself with every passing minute.
And because if everyone had the same reaction you have, if he thought nobody was there to still be his friend after what happened, after he willfully confessed and put it out in the open instead of "faking" his death by creating a new personality online and making sure nobody's none the wiser about what truly happened, he then would have even more reasons to wish to die and were he to do it, then you can be 100% certain nobody will ever be repaid their money.
As long as there's life, there's hope.
Unforgettable doesn't mean unforgivable. Learn from your mistake so it doesn't happen to you or anyone you know again.
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