y can't i be different
i'm trying so damn hard to change myself for the better...i know my problems and i know that i'm not happy with myself right now. i feel like a completely worthless piece of shit...i'm having a really really horrible time controlling my anger...with as much stress as i've been under lately it feels like its getting worse, i might be looking into anger managment classes or something...i hope so at least...and the absolute worst part of this entire situation is that i completely only use against the two people i care about the most. Y can't i do what i say i'm gunna do? y can't i NOT be like who i say i've learned from? and most importantly...y has this all happeneded to me...sometimes i feel like my life couldn't get any lower, and then it does. or it gets better and then i just ruin it all...i can't stand who i am...i know if ur reading this i've grown apart from u...i dont hang out with the same crowds nemore and i know this is all really emo...but hey its a journal after all. i really wish that something will happen to make me happy again...and not walk around acting like i hate the world