I've checked out...

[nullset]

...on everything. It's not so much senioritis hitting me, but my hatred of computer science hitting me. As the semester has progressed, I've started thinking about how I see my life after high school. I've come to the conclusion I want to be in film, I suppose that bite has been there for a while, but I followed things that weren't film when it came to college. My dream would be to graduate from here, get my BA, and go for my MA in film somewhere. I've been looking at communities for prospective students at the big schools I want to apply to (USC, NYU Tisch, and FSU film), and I laugh. 3.9's, 1470 SAT's, that's not me. My portfolio is another thing...I don't really have one, which has been my own fault for a while. I have tried to bring others with me, but no one really has the drive/dream I have. I guess that's something about being here in Farmington, I'm not immersed in that idea of film. One of the communities I looked at had current students asking for actors, musicians (for scores), fucking boom operators. I'd be a boom operator if it meant just being a part of (oh goodness) student films. My shit sandwich of a portfolio needs to be something different.

Fuck. This.

I've been on edge all semester, broken way more items than I should be breaking, and snapping at everyone. It's a good time to get out and move on.

No sleep tonight.