long month
Well, I haven't been to the LJ site for about a month now.
It's not LJ's fault.
Lots going on and my tolerance for most of the 'net is low.
Updated my laptop to Suse 9.3 from 9.1.
The differences are staggering.
Hard to believe they were released less than a year apart.
Fixed my laptop's power cord with a soldering iron and a glue gun.
Note to electricians: glue guns work better than heat-shrink tubing for low power jobs.
But if the wires get hot durring normal use a glue gun ain't a good idea.
Been looking for a job.
Sent out about 6 online resumes so far to various places, most of which are the mega job listing sites.
A friend just emailed me a lead or two. I'll have to check it out on monday.
My spawn has been geting better at manipulating electronics.
The television rarely stays on the same channel for more than a half hour.
I had to move the dvd player because the tray ejecting was far too much fun to leave alone.
Ex-gf hates the tv being accessable at all, but I think it's great that there's a distraction from tearing pages out of books and throwing blocks.
The other day the tone control for the karioke(sp?) function was discovered.
What I found shocking was that it affected the movie I was watching at the time.
Everyone suddenly got very squeaky.
Harmonicly sqeaky, actually.
It was funny as heck.
Still no Black and White 2 in the house.
Guess it goes on the holiday list.
Along with a stack of books, other games, etc.
Strangely, I'm not in the market for components this year.
I could use some more RAM and a better GPU, but that's all.
I could use a new Palm Pilot, but I really don't care too much.
I've changed a bit since my computer barfed a silicon hairball a couple months ago.
I don't get as excited about new advances in tech.
I'm far more excited by software updates and coding.
I've been studying Java (Head First series ROXORZ!) and wading through game engine code.
I think I could make a fair pass at the Stratagus engine if I get the time to dig into it a bit more.
Thing is, I got Homeworld 2 for two reasons:
One, it was Homeworld's sequal and the first one was awesome.
Two, Relic released a modding kit for it.
I finished the game, and yes, it was pretty good.
But the mod kit was just some Maya 3.0 plugins and the docs for them.
Yes, the designers used a $2000 per workstation modeler to build the game objects.
The mod community has managed to update the plugins for more recent versions of Maya,
but that still leaves a very large financial gap.
The file format for the modeled objects is still only partially known.
There are a number of company employees that are chearleaders in the forums, but they can't tell us anything specific due to NDAs.
Thus it is that I cannot at this time mod Homeworld 2 as I'd like to.
X-Plane, on the other hand, keeps getting easier to work with.
The plugin system has matured alot.
The file formats are handed out whenever someone asks.
The new scenery system just went public, so that's going to add some spark to the community for a while.
Unlike most games, X-Plane is updated about once every month or two.
That means that if you buy it in June, by August it could have 15 new features and squashed 12 bugs.
It's never "finished".
Many of us believe it's only goingto be "finished" when the Austin croaks, and then only if someone else doesn't pick it up again.
The project has gone from two or three main people to almost ten in less than two years.
And the quality has gone up.
I've tried to make a couple plugins, but the bindings didn't work like I thought and they had to be shelved.
I have made a clouple planes though.
The program comes with a plane creation program that is very easy to use once you get the hang of it.
You can even make your own airfoils.
The reason I started this blog was to work out my problems by typing them.
It's helped a bit.
The problems I had have changed into the problems I have now.
I'm angry all the time.
At everyone for every little thing.
It gets old very quickly.
I guess I'm even angry at myself for being so angry at people and things that don't deserve it.
Maybe the anger is why the internet has seemed so empty.
There's mothing there when you get down to it.
You can't be angry at CNN.com for being a tool of the Man.
You can be angry at Sony for putting an illegal destructive rootkit in CDs, but they're not here where I can beat them about the head with a textbook on ethics.
My relationships with people in general are suffering right now.
I'm 20+ pounds overweight (I used to be 20+ pounds underweight).
I'm cranky at everyone.
I'm getting old with very little to show for it.
I can't afford more classes to keep my skilz sharp.
I don't have a job despite being willing and able.
I have a mental block that keeps me from being more pro-active in life.
I can't afford a shrink to help me around the mental block.
The mental block also prevents me from searching for a job most of the time.
So it goes like this:
I have very bad people skills at the moment, which doesn't endear me to potential employers.
My long standing mental block is preventing me from looking for a job.
Without a job, I cannot afford therapy.
Without therapy, I will have a very very very hard time getting a job.
Ex-gf has been having very bad bouts of depression recently.
A couple days ago she started talking about killing herself and being done with it.
I freaked out and started hitting her.
Not the most compassionate thing to do.
I broke down when I realized what I was doing.
My breakdown helped pull her out of her hole.
I don't want to ever go through that again.
I still like her.
We've managed to stay friends, which is good.
The guy she's with is a good person.
The depression she's got now is mostly biological.
She was on meds for it a couple years ago, before our child was born.
She stopped taking them for the kid's sake, being physiologicaly attatched and all.
She then decided she didn't want to take them again.
I keep wondering why she won't when she gets so bad now.
I can't force her to, though.
It's a bit frustrating when she can get help and refuses, yet I can't get help and want it.
Well, back to keeping books out of small hands...
It's not LJ's fault.
Lots going on and my tolerance for most of the 'net is low.
Updated my laptop to Suse 9.3 from 9.1.
The differences are staggering.
Hard to believe they were released less than a year apart.
Fixed my laptop's power cord with a soldering iron and a glue gun.
Note to electricians: glue guns work better than heat-shrink tubing for low power jobs.
But if the wires get hot durring normal use a glue gun ain't a good idea.
Been looking for a job.
Sent out about 6 online resumes so far to various places, most of which are the mega job listing sites.
A friend just emailed me a lead or two. I'll have to check it out on monday.
My spawn has been geting better at manipulating electronics.
The television rarely stays on the same channel for more than a half hour.
I had to move the dvd player because the tray ejecting was far too much fun to leave alone.
Ex-gf hates the tv being accessable at all, but I think it's great that there's a distraction from tearing pages out of books and throwing blocks.
The other day the tone control for the karioke(sp?) function was discovered.
What I found shocking was that it affected the movie I was watching at the time.
Everyone suddenly got very squeaky.
Harmonicly sqeaky, actually.
It was funny as heck.
Still no Black and White 2 in the house.
Guess it goes on the holiday list.
Along with a stack of books, other games, etc.
Strangely, I'm not in the market for components this year.
I could use some more RAM and a better GPU, but that's all.
I could use a new Palm Pilot, but I really don't care too much.
I've changed a bit since my computer barfed a silicon hairball a couple months ago.
I don't get as excited about new advances in tech.
I'm far more excited by software updates and coding.
I've been studying Java (Head First series ROXORZ!) and wading through game engine code.
I think I could make a fair pass at the Stratagus engine if I get the time to dig into it a bit more.
Thing is, I got Homeworld 2 for two reasons:
One, it was Homeworld's sequal and the first one was awesome.
Two, Relic released a modding kit for it.
I finished the game, and yes, it was pretty good.
But the mod kit was just some Maya 3.0 plugins and the docs for them.
Yes, the designers used a $2000 per workstation modeler to build the game objects.
The mod community has managed to update the plugins for more recent versions of Maya,
but that still leaves a very large financial gap.
The file format for the modeled objects is still only partially known.
There are a number of company employees that are chearleaders in the forums, but they can't tell us anything specific due to NDAs.
Thus it is that I cannot at this time mod Homeworld 2 as I'd like to.
X-Plane, on the other hand, keeps getting easier to work with.
The plugin system has matured alot.
The file formats are handed out whenever someone asks.
The new scenery system just went public, so that's going to add some spark to the community for a while.
Unlike most games, X-Plane is updated about once every month or two.
That means that if you buy it in June, by August it could have 15 new features and squashed 12 bugs.
It's never "finished".
Many of us believe it's only goingto be "finished" when the Austin croaks, and then only if someone else doesn't pick it up again.
The project has gone from two or three main people to almost ten in less than two years.
And the quality has gone up.
I've tried to make a couple plugins, but the bindings didn't work like I thought and they had to be shelved.
I have made a clouple planes though.
The program comes with a plane creation program that is very easy to use once you get the hang of it.
You can even make your own airfoils.
The reason I started this blog was to work out my problems by typing them.
It's helped a bit.
The problems I had have changed into the problems I have now.
I'm angry all the time.
At everyone for every little thing.
It gets old very quickly.
I guess I'm even angry at myself for being so angry at people and things that don't deserve it.
Maybe the anger is why the internet has seemed so empty.
There's mothing there when you get down to it.
You can't be angry at CNN.com for being a tool of the Man.
You can be angry at Sony for putting an illegal destructive rootkit in CDs, but they're not here where I can beat them about the head with a textbook on ethics.
My relationships with people in general are suffering right now.
I'm 20+ pounds overweight (I used to be 20+ pounds underweight).
I'm cranky at everyone.
I'm getting old with very little to show for it.
I can't afford more classes to keep my skilz sharp.
I don't have a job despite being willing and able.
I have a mental block that keeps me from being more pro-active in life.
I can't afford a shrink to help me around the mental block.
The mental block also prevents me from searching for a job most of the time.
So it goes like this:
I have very bad people skills at the moment, which doesn't endear me to potential employers.
My long standing mental block is preventing me from looking for a job.
Without a job, I cannot afford therapy.
Without therapy, I will have a very very very hard time getting a job.
Ex-gf has been having very bad bouts of depression recently.
A couple days ago she started talking about killing herself and being done with it.
I freaked out and started hitting her.
Not the most compassionate thing to do.
I broke down when I realized what I was doing.
My breakdown helped pull her out of her hole.
I don't want to ever go through that again.
I still like her.
We've managed to stay friends, which is good.
The guy she's with is a good person.
The depression she's got now is mostly biological.
She was on meds for it a couple years ago, before our child was born.
She stopped taking them for the kid's sake, being physiologicaly attatched and all.
She then decided she didn't want to take them again.
I keep wondering why she won't when she gets so bad now.
I can't force her to, though.
It's a bit frustrating when she can get help and refuses, yet I can't get help and want it.
Well, back to keeping books out of small hands...