happy birthday!
he called me last night and i finally answered! he called me to wish me a happy birthday, though he called me a bit early. he was really nice. i kinda expected him to be a smart ass but nope. he was cool. i kinda wanted to continue talking to him just cuz i thot id take advantage of this sudden politeness and carry on a decent and lengthy convo, like old days... but he had to go to bed. 8 am classes. good times. i was pretty surprised he called. i thot maybe he'd leave an IM or something. it was nice though to know that he isnt mean enough to not call me on my bday (if that made any sense).
aAaAanyhoo... he called me back, which i kinda didnt expect him to do, i dont know why. well, i was kinda hopin he wouldnt call back, just cuz its wierd. i cant explain it. i mean, yeah its cool that we talked and all, but all i really wanted to do was just say happy bday and what up. i was satisfied with that. but whatev. maybe this time around we could actually get along/come to an understanding.
his g/f read my past entries. i dont want her to think i want him back. no way. you just gotta remember that this is a journal. if that was the case, id keep the entries in my private stash. yeah some of my entries get pretty deep, but its nothing u should take too seriously. u shouldnt put my "deeper" entries too high above the stoner entries. you also gotta remember that i love creative writing. therefore i tend to get sarcastic, dramatic and metaphoric when i write about my feelings. its like how eminem raps about killing people but never really does it... sorta... not a good analogy but close enough.
today I'm 19! i dont feel any different and today doesnt feel any more special than any other day. come to think of it, i never really felt 18 until i left for fall. cuz now i'm pretty much on my own. i have all these responsibilities and things to take care of. hopefully 19 will hit me sooner than 18 did cuz i wanna be able to feel 19 as much as possbile cuz soon 20 will come and 20 intimidates me. only because i wont be a teenager anymore. i'll be a sophomore. exciting and scary at the same time. i have a test today at 5:30 and i have until then to know all my shit to get an A+! Woop woop.
two more until home for the holidays!!!
<3 poe dizzle
aAaAanyhoo... he called me back, which i kinda didnt expect him to do, i dont know why. well, i was kinda hopin he wouldnt call back, just cuz its wierd. i cant explain it. i mean, yeah its cool that we talked and all, but all i really wanted to do was just say happy bday and what up. i was satisfied with that. but whatev. maybe this time around we could actually get along/come to an understanding.
his g/f read my past entries. i dont want her to think i want him back. no way. you just gotta remember that this is a journal. if that was the case, id keep the entries in my private stash. yeah some of my entries get pretty deep, but its nothing u should take too seriously. u shouldnt put my "deeper" entries too high above the stoner entries. you also gotta remember that i love creative writing. therefore i tend to get sarcastic, dramatic and metaphoric when i write about my feelings. its like how eminem raps about killing people but never really does it... sorta... not a good analogy but close enough.
today I'm 19! i dont feel any different and today doesnt feel any more special than any other day. come to think of it, i never really felt 18 until i left for fall. cuz now i'm pretty much on my own. i have all these responsibilities and things to take care of. hopefully 19 will hit me sooner than 18 did cuz i wanna be able to feel 19 as much as possbile cuz soon 20 will come and 20 intimidates me. only because i wont be a teenager anymore. i'll be a sophomore. exciting and scary at the same time. i have a test today at 5:30 and i have until then to know all my shit to get an A+! Woop woop.
two more until home for the holidays!!!
<3 poe dizzle