you dont have to read this if you dont want to
From this point on I will not dwell on anything in my past. I will not get upset over things I can not change. I will learn to move on and deal with my emotions in a healthy way. I will set goals, focus on them, and reach them. I will forgive myself for allowing other people to hurt me. I will forgive others that have hurt me. I will hold no anger and I will let go of all feelings of any sort I had for any of these people. Even though I let others treat me in unkind ways, it does not mean that I deserve this. I am still a great person with a charming personality and if this is not what you see when you look at me, please turn away. When I have problems, I need to talk them out. When I get hurt, I need to talk about it with the person who hurt me. If I can't do this I don't know how to deal with the emotional part of it and I become very stressed and I cause myself to get sick. I will never do this again. I will not allow myself to become a part of an unhealthy relationship again. If you don't want to love me, you don't have to. I will never go through any of this again with anyone. I will find a boyfriend that loves me for me and that will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. If this can not happen, then I will not date anyone. At all. I will not look for anyone in an unnatural place. If I happen to meet someone, good, but I will not search. Anything good that happens to me I will be thankful for. Anything bad that happens to me must have happened for a reason and I need to learn to accept that. I will focus on me from now on. I will put myself as my first priority, my education as my second, friends as my third, and anything after that will have to wait. I want to be a chiropractor and I do not want anyone in my life that will hold me back for any reason. I can make something of myself regaurdless of everything that has happened to me over the years. I won't allow myself to get depressed or over stressed. I am going to make a schedule to follow from now on. My days will be planned out. I need more structure in my life. I will appreciate the time that I have alone. Who needs to rush into marriage anyway? I will socialize as much as I can when I'm still young, because once I move to Atlanta all of my time will need to be given to my school work. I will work on getting over the fears of being alone, failing, meeting new people, and any other fear that I have or that I may develop. I will try to be more helpful. I will try to give others second chances. I will appologize for things that are my fault. I will not take responsibility for things that are not. I will be somewhere with other people for at least a half an hour everyday whether it be at the gym, at a club, or at a party. Next week I will write Lance a letter telling him how I feel and giving him the option to be friends. I will take it by his house and then I will let go. I hope. From this moment on, I will focus all my energy on correcting the parts of my life that I have screwed up. I'm going to let myself know how much I love and accept myself. If I ever did anything to you I'm truely sorry and I hope you can forgive me. I will also try to be more availible to anyone that needs me. I know I'm not the best with that and I'm sorry. I may need some support on this, so bring on the encouragement.