No friends
Jasmine:
I am really not good at making friends. When I was thinking of moving out here I wasn't worried about making friends. I thought that I would be fine because I'm so amazing. But um, I forgot that I am shy. I also forgot that the last few times that I've had to make friends, were easy because you're put in a situation where everyone wants to make friends. For example, when I went to SU, everyone was a freshman, didn't know anyone, wanted to make friends. When I started at Deloitte, we were all first years, and wanting to make friends. A prime example of how I am NOT good at making friends... started at DU... didn't make any friends because everyone already knew each other. Ok ok, I made two friends that I would actually CALL friends. But that's it. Sooo... nope doesn't look like I am going to make friends. The thing of it is, I don't like to try hard to make friends. I'm funny and easy to approach. Why should I try to make friends? People should want to be MY friend. Also, I haven't even found a person that I would WANT to "pursue" as a friend. LOL. As RaiLynn can attest to, if I want to be your friend, you're going to be my friend. But nope, haven't found anyone that interests me. I guess I should take all of this completely back. The receptionist is trying to be my friend, but she's annoying and I don't want to be her friend. LOL.
Anyway, I was telling my friend Tim all of this... and he basically said I didn't need friends and didn't I move out there to be with Brian? So I should be happy with just hanging out with him. HAHA. This is true, but I just miss having friends. And surprisingly, I am not sick of Brian. I love hanging out with and being with him. It's kind of weird to me. I do have a few issues though. And I am working up the nerve to actually talk to him and tell him that I still think we need to work on this whole communicating thing. Well, at least *I* know I do. I've been trying to do that for about two weeks now. Hopefully I will do it this weekend.
Also, I just feel like I am in a really good place right now. I was in emotional upheavals when I first got here, but I think that that is just because it's a new place, a whole new situation, and there's bound to be some getting used to things. But now, now I finally feel like myself. I feel less emotional. More secure. More... me. I like it. Welcome back!
This week has been kind of hard. Not because I am all crazy and emotional but because Brian has been gone for work and it's the first time we're apart since I moved out here. And it's not like I can't sleep because I am used to sleeping with him. Because that's not true. It's barely been a month. But I just miss him. I miss coming home to him. I used to be so eager to leave work to see him. And now, I stay til 5:30. LOL. And I miss sleeping with him. The alone time has been nice. But I can't wait til he gets back on Friday. And I am sad he is not coming home with me for Christmas. I have to be without him for a week again. It'll be nice though. It'll definitely be easier than this week because I'll be seeing people I love and getting to hang out with, omg, FRIENDS. LOL.
What else... that's it for now. I want to update more. Maybe I will soon.
OH WAIT, one more revelation. I realized I do not care about my job as much as I used to. I want to do well, but I feel like I'm an adult, I don't have to feel like a newbie and be scared of the partners in the office or anyone else. I don't have to give 110% doing stupid shit for a stupid senior just because I have nothing else to do. It's a very liberating feeling. Although I also think it's partly due to the fact that I don't particularly like my job yet. I am hoping it gets better because overall, I miss Deloitte. Although I only really feel the pain every so often.
Ok that's it.
I am really not good at making friends. When I was thinking of moving out here I wasn't worried about making friends. I thought that I would be fine because I'm so amazing. But um, I forgot that I am shy. I also forgot that the last few times that I've had to make friends, were easy because you're put in a situation where everyone wants to make friends. For example, when I went to SU, everyone was a freshman, didn't know anyone, wanted to make friends. When I started at Deloitte, we were all first years, and wanting to make friends. A prime example of how I am NOT good at making friends... started at DU... didn't make any friends because everyone already knew each other. Ok ok, I made two friends that I would actually CALL friends. But that's it. Sooo... nope doesn't look like I am going to make friends. The thing of it is, I don't like to try hard to make friends. I'm funny and easy to approach. Why should I try to make friends? People should want to be MY friend. Also, I haven't even found a person that I would WANT to "pursue" as a friend. LOL. As RaiLynn can attest to, if I want to be your friend, you're going to be my friend. But nope, haven't found anyone that interests me. I guess I should take all of this completely back. The receptionist is trying to be my friend, but she's annoying and I don't want to be her friend. LOL.
Anyway, I was telling my friend Tim all of this... and he basically said I didn't need friends and didn't I move out there to be with Brian? So I should be happy with just hanging out with him. HAHA. This is true, but I just miss having friends. And surprisingly, I am not sick of Brian. I love hanging out with and being with him. It's kind of weird to me. I do have a few issues though. And I am working up the nerve to actually talk to him and tell him that I still think we need to work on this whole communicating thing. Well, at least *I* know I do. I've been trying to do that for about two weeks now. Hopefully I will do it this weekend.
Also, I just feel like I am in a really good place right now. I was in emotional upheavals when I first got here, but I think that that is just because it's a new place, a whole new situation, and there's bound to be some getting used to things. But now, now I finally feel like myself. I feel less emotional. More secure. More... me. I like it. Welcome back!
This week has been kind of hard. Not because I am all crazy and emotional but because Brian has been gone for work and it's the first time we're apart since I moved out here. And it's not like I can't sleep because I am used to sleeping with him. Because that's not true. It's barely been a month. But I just miss him. I miss coming home to him. I used to be so eager to leave work to see him. And now, I stay til 5:30. LOL. And I miss sleeping with him. The alone time has been nice. But I can't wait til he gets back on Friday. And I am sad he is not coming home with me for Christmas. I have to be without him for a week again. It'll be nice though. It'll definitely be easier than this week because I'll be seeing people I love and getting to hang out with, omg, FRIENDS. LOL.
What else... that's it for now. I want to update more. Maybe I will soon.
OH WAIT, one more revelation. I realized I do not care about my job as much as I used to. I want to do well, but I feel like I'm an adult, I don't have to feel like a newbie and be scared of the partners in the office or anyone else. I don't have to give 110% doing stupid shit for a stupid senior just because I have nothing else to do. It's a very liberating feeling. Although I also think it's partly due to the fact that I don't particularly like my job yet. I am hoping it gets better because overall, I miss Deloitte. Although I only really feel the pain every so often.
Ok that's it.