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[nudeasthenewss]

it's still hard. and i try not to say anything or admit that to anyone because it makes me feel guilty but i still struggle. and it's not even about the loss of love because that was gone a long time ago it's about the loss of companionship. it's about waking up in my bed and the instance right before i open my eyes being so used to seeing a

Comments

[cloudsinshapes]

first of all, commentary on the subject in any matter shouldn't have anything to do with the way you really feel about it. it will only bias your heart strings one way or another and i mean, your level head is the most important thing you can have as a person, human, animal, whatev. so that being said, take whatever you can from my mind or anything at all but only if it's something you agree with and trust. but i am amazed at how well you're dealing with it right now, in general, externally at least. we both have some pretty major things happening (past tense also) and i think it's nice that we're finally old enough to actually handle them. if what's going on in my life right now had happened 2-3 years ago, shit i don't even know. i probably wouldn't be anywhere around here you know. and no one's expecting anything of you, and even if they are, it doesn't matter. everything you think or do or say is completely up to you regardless of social influence. so just clinch your teeth and hold on to something steady because change like this is like an earthquake. except when it stops shaking and destroying, everything is twice as sturdy and shiny as it was before.

and sometimes i feel like i'm going deaf, but for now, my ears work just fine and you'll probably get some cheesy ass responses and you'll probably laugh. because hey im not going to lie, i'm retarded sometimes. and i've embraced that and i'm okay with that. i luve yuu, ulways huve.

ben j