(no subject)
he says 'i am a lot happier now but i am still a fucking wreck' and i feel the exact same. i am a lot happier now but i am still a fucking wreck. i like when he talks vulnerably about himself because i hardly know him and it makes me feel closer, it makes me feel like getting to know someone is the best part of knowing them at all. i feel like i am in a really awkward position with everything right now and that i am happy but i am still messy. i just work, and then when i am not working or not complaining about working i am filling my time up very randomly and unevenly. i don't fucking like it at all but it's what i have to do. i try to write poetry and it just ends up as a bunch of scattered sentences all trying to fit in the same place. and that's exactly how my life feels. i just keep getting more tired.