(no subject)
I hate feeling like my life is stuck in pergatory. I know that all I need is to leave for college, but I"m clueless as to how to spend these last two months I have. Nothing has fulfulled me that I've tried and nothing is working and things aren't going anywhere with anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the same day over and over again, and I dont know how many times I've come home to this house feeling like this. But here I am again, it's not surprising. It's sad. I'm stuck in this horrible rut, and this city isn't doing anything for me. Rosey's mom said tonight that we have these periods in our lives, when something good is over, and something good is on it's way. But we need these periods for reflection and change and feeling miserable so we appreciate the good, if it was good all of the time, we wouldn't appreciate it. So here I am, in miserable pergatory... this summer seems exceptionally hot. I can't even be happy outside smoking a cigarette because the heat just pisses me off, my car won't ever cool down, and all I want is an ice cold slushie drink. I know how I want things to be, and I want them to be good. I want the people I want to see to want to see me back. I want a phone call without having to beg for it. I want a lot of things out of life that I'm not getting right now. And I swear to god, the only thing that makes me happy is being in my huge comfortable bed with a bunch of pillows. Even music is boring me.