Bah Humbug
I feel like Christmas has been ruined. My aunt, who has been a second mother to me and lives down the street from my parents, has announced she will not be joining us for our dinner. Of course this means the rest of her family won't be either. She has always been so militant about getting everyone together for Christmas; her decision not to eat with us means so much more than what it looks like on the surface. I can't calm down. My whole life she's arguably been the sturdiest rock in my life, but the night before her announcement she treated me differently when we ate dinner together. I feel betrayed. And for some inexplicable reason, this entire month a handful of people whose friendships I considered immovable have disappointed me. I'm beginning to feel jaded and wonder why I put so much trust in people. And now I'm stuck in the mountains looking forward to a shitty Christmas while I worry about how my research is going nowhere. I know just about every grad student in science can relate, but I can't get the pivotal instrument in my project to work no matter how much time and money I throw at it. I've never thought about leaving because of it, but people have asked me if I am, which really makes me feel like shit.