Babies are for old people
Sometimes when I'm biking to school, I pass middle-aged men in business attire who are also riding towards downtown, on mountain bikes that are way too small for them. I always leap to the conclusion that these guys are unhappy alcoholics who are biking because they got DUIs and had their licenses taken away.
My cousin from New York, who I haven't seen in like four years, is going to be in Portland soon for some school-related journalism something-or-other. I want to gossip with her about how weird and terrifying it is that our other cousin (who is younger than us) has a fresh, brand new daughter. ...Although I guess a fresh daughter is less scary than an old mildewy one. I remember back when I worked at QFC, having to take all the daughters that were within two days of their expiration dates and stuff them in the trash compactor.
The one thing I regret about my family moving to Oregon is I didn't get to grow up with cousins. Not that I would've grown up with the New York ones anyway... but all the rest are still in the Chicago area. And Jessica having a kid is like someone saying, "Okay guys, time for our generation to be adults." I don't like that. I feel like we should still be playing elaborate tag games and attacking fireflies with tennis rackets when I visit Illinois. Not drinking Miller Lite with the adults and talking about car payments.
My cousin from New York, who I haven't seen in like four years, is going to be in Portland soon for some school-related journalism something-or-other. I want to gossip with her about how weird and terrifying it is that our other cousin (who is younger than us) has a fresh, brand new daughter. ...Although I guess a fresh daughter is less scary than an old mildewy one. I remember back when I worked at QFC, having to take all the daughters that were within two days of their expiration dates and stuff them in the trash compactor.
The one thing I regret about my family moving to Oregon is I didn't get to grow up with cousins. Not that I would've grown up with the New York ones anyway... but all the rest are still in the Chicago area. And Jessica having a kid is like someone saying, "Okay guys, time for our generation to be adults." I don't like that. I feel like we should still be playing elaborate tag games and attacking fireflies with tennis rackets when I visit Illinois. Not drinking Miller Lite with the adults and talking about car payments.