(no subject)
Okay so Thursday night...Jake came over. And guess what I ended up doing. Yeah I'm pretty sure you can all guess it. It's not like it was his fault either. I did want to say no..I just couldn't do it. And I want to explain how I feel without sounding like a complete whore. But I'm sure you'll all be like omg how could she think that way..but I do. It's like...I can't even mess around with people I know cause it just doesn't do it for me anymore. Even if I "like" them..it's weird. Like I don't get the rush or anything. We could get caught at any moment..and it's just like yeah I really don't give a shit anymore. When I don't exactly know the person all that well...it's different. So much better. And he's right. I guess I am sort of addicted. I'm a fucking nympho. The only person who I've wanted to be with for a long ass time is Stevie and I kno that will never happen. Emily said she could tell that I actually loved that kid. And I would never let anything happen if he ever gave me a second chance. But I'm not even gonna bother asking. I fucked up.
Well Friday...football game. A lot of people there...Kristy, Ben, Jenny, Aly, Sammy, Justin, Joel, Hibby, Bartkus, Pat, Travis, Tom, Amber, Jimmy..wow I don't even remember who else. It was fun-ish. Well at least me Kristy and Ben had fun. Travis is definitely my little brother. Some guy video tapped me..kind weird but I just went along with it. And apparently Hibby is still in love with me. I didn't think it was possible but I guess it was...and I feel bad but the kid was all over me. I just know it won't work.
Than Saturday Emily came over and we spent about 5 hours trying to figure out what we wanted to do. So we end up stealing my dads work van with no fucking windows. Yeah that was a great idea. No really...it was. Lmao so all we did was go joy riding around Brackney. Not really much to see. Than we went to Choconut to get ice cream and drinks..and to buy Clint a pack of gum as a bribe to keep his mouth shut. And I was pissed cause I couldn't get my Snapple open so I stop at the top of the hill forgetting that it'll jerk when you slam on the brakes and I start choking on my drink and spit it all over the fucking place. And Emily finds this funny and spits hers everyone and it's just one big mess all over the work papers...yeah like that's not suspicious. But we fixed it and came back in plenty of time.
Sunday we went to the Wyoming County Fair. Hicksville all the way baby. It was fun. Clint got pissed when we wouldn't play games with him anymore so he ran off. But w/e. We saw a few random people we knew. We ran into Liz and Dan and went on a ride with them. But Dan fuckin pissed me off. I like Dan and normally I enjoy hanging out with him..but not when he gets into his lecturing. The first thing he starts saying is about me being a whore. Which for one thing isn't cool..and where the hell is he getting this from. He never tells me he just assumes that I am. And he listens to whatever other people tell him. I don't fucking get that because rumors are hardly ever right. Than he's goin on about he "heard" that I went all straight laced...quit smokin and drinkin (which I did try and it didn't last)..and how much of a loser I was. He had no fucking right to tell me what I should be doing. He has no idea why I did what I did. I had a good reason...and I probably should have stuck with it. And he tells me and Em that we can't scar ourselves....yet he can smoke himself fucking retarded and drive around drunk. Yeah I'm pretty sure what we do is our business not him and it's not like we're killing ourselves. But than again some people are just ignorant. I love you Dan but I'm sorry I just don't like it. ANYHOW!....back to the fair. We were getting looks from everyone. Like we were the only freaks they've ever seen. We ended up stalking these guys and it turns out they enjoy being followed cause they turned around and started stalking us..it was cute. The fun house was fuckin awesome!..Emily and Clint both smashed their faces into the glass. Than these two guys..Luke and Brandon decide to chill with us. Horny fucking bastards they were. Seriously. They were amusing and on fucking speed but damn they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. We kept gettin tackled and dry humped. Luke ran around on the benches with just his boxers on screaming "I'm a pretty girl!" Mmhm. But eventually we got tired of them trying to undress us. Luke was slick too. He kept rubbing my leg which he knew got me goin. And he kept stickin his hands down my pants when I wasn't paying attention. But I said NO!!!!! Hell fucking yeah. I said no..more than once..I meant it...and I stuck with it! I'm so proud of myself. We left at like 11...got home...and had a van party. Well it was just me Emily and Clint. We just talked about..everything..and eventually ended up falling asleep in there.
Today was just a blah day. Em went home earlier. I was tired as fuck and tried to sleep but Liza kept tickling me and keeping me awake. My mom's family was here so I stayed as far away as I could. I watched SLC Punk! for the millionth time. I can't believe Heroine Bob dies..every time! It makes me sad. Fuckin poseur!
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